The Other Side of the Veil

Lily Potter watches her son.

He is a tall boy, taller than the girl with the bushy brown hair, though not as tall as his red-haired friend. On the outside, he seems perfectly happy. He talks with the other Gryffindors, laughs with them and works hard at his lessons.

In reality, he is not happy at all. He speaks in a monotone to the other Gryffindors, he forces himself to laugh and the work that seems so easy for him takes him many weary hours to complete.

He has never been completely happy, after all.

She watches him battle through his life, and although he can't hear her, she talks to him. At night, she leaves the Veil, and sits down by his bedside. She strokes his hair, tells him not to be afraid, and tells him how proud she is of him.

Then she goes, quickly and quietly, never leaving a trace of herself. He will never know about her, and that is the way she wishes it to be.

She is bound to the Veil. All those who have passed from life to death are bound to it. They are not free to walk the Earth, but many do not abide by the rules. They cannot let go of the past, because that is all they have. There is no present for them, and no future.

Lily tries not to stray from the Veil, but usually her longing to see her son overcomes her good intentions. She tries to stay, because of her husband. He has become strange lately; feverish, dazed and muttering. She has already lost her son-to lose her husband would be the end for her. She would not actually lose him in a logical sense, but in a way, she feels like he is the only thing stopping her from going crazy. She does not know how to exist without him.

She wonders what life would be like if she was alive. She sits beside her son at night, watching him breathe, and wonders what he would have thought of her. He is not by any measures perfect, but he is perfect for her. He is her son, and that is all that matters.

Lily never does cry anymore. She believes that tears are a waste of time; they will never change anything. Her death, James' death, Harry's situation, will all remain the same. In a way, she is almost like a frightened child. She is afraid of so many things, even though she has no reason to be. It is silly to be afraid of death when you are already dead.

Because after all, the dead cannot die again.

She lives a meaningless half-life; every minute is torture. She longs to see her son, to hold him, and yet she fears it. Contact between the living and the dead is not possible, and touching him would mean that he would sink into her world. It is a thought too terrible to contemplate.

So she watches and waits. Every night, despite herself, she leaves the Veil and sits by her sleeping son. She has never really been his mother, and never will be, but it is the best she can do.

Lily knows that Harry cannot see her. He will wake up sometimes in the middle of the night, and stare right through her, then go back to sleep, tossing and turning in his fitful dreams. She will whisper comforting words, and kiss him on his forehead, and play the mother. But it is not for real, and the green eyes her son has inherited will fill with empty hope.

She loves him so much, yet there is nothing she can do to help him.

So she waits.