His First and Only Love

I remember the day quite clearly, as it was a day that would impact the rest of my life, and would aid to me in joining the Death Eaters. It was the thirteenth of May in my sixth year. I was in the Great Hall after lunch, talking to some of the kids at my lunch table.

Lily Evans was the most popular, and the most beautiful, girl in my year, perhaps even in the whole entire Hogwarts school. There was no guy, that I knew of, who had anything bad to say about Lily, especially myself. She was sitting at the Gryffindor table talking to some of her friends, though I had no idea why she would hang out with some of those snobs. She could be friends with anybody in the whole school, and she chose to be friends with those snobby teachers' pets.

A Hogsmeade trip was coming nearer, and I, like usual, had not found a date. I was probably going to end up going into Hogsmeade by myself once again, or possibly even skipping the trip and staying in my common room writing an essay for Potions class, which would be just as fun as going alone. But I had a plan. I was going to ask Lily Evans to be my date that weekend in Hogsmeade. I had delayed the question so many times after class when I could have simply asked her on a date. But I had procrastinated too much. I was going to ask her right after lunch went out, though I was sure she would reject me. But I wasn't going to let the fear of rejection get in my way of asking her.

The bell rang out loud, and the students rushed to their feet to head off to their common rooms so they could grab their books for their next classes. I, however, did not head towards my common room. Instead, I trudged over to where Lily Evans was standing, talking to her friends.

"EVANS!" I yelled out, gesturing for her to come over to where I was leaning up against the wall. I was shaking terribly out of nervousness. I couldn't wait to get it over with.

"Hey Severus! What can I do for you?" I remember her asking me. She had set me up perfectly to ask the question.

"How about going on a date with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?" I asked her. I tried my best to look like I was cool. I gave her my smile, flung my long, silky black hair out of my eyes, and coughed slightly. She stared back at me in awe.

"I...I...I don't know what to say." She was in complete and utter shock. Her jaw was lowered, and her eyes were staring straight into my face in disbelief. "I'd love to, Severus." She smiled at me. I could tell she had wanted me to ask her that forever.

"Great! I'll see you then! Ten o'clock in The Three Broomsticks." I smiled at her and winked before leaving for my common room.

It wasn't long before Saturday rolled around the corner, and I found myself sitting at a table in The Three Broomsticks, waiting for Lily's face to appear. I was already sipping at a butterbeer Madame Rosmerta had brought me, when Lily strolled out from around the doorway, and slid into a seat across from me at the table. Madame Rosmerta, seeing Lily arrive, came over to where I was sitting, once again, and asked for Lily's order. Lily, like myself, only ordered a bottle of butterbeer, a drink that has been popular for students ever since even before I started my years at Hogwarts.

While awaiting the arrival of Lily's drink, we made simple conversation about the end-of-the-year exams that were coming up in only a few weeks. We were both pretty nervous, as we were both taking the high level classes, and the tests would definitely prove to be very difficult. The drink arrived, and our conversation shifted to something else that proved to be very interesting for me, those stupid marauders and their stupid pranks they were always pulling on me.

They had used that Jell-Legs Jinx on me in the Great Hall the other day, which turned out to be a very hilarious sight for all of the other students who were eating their lunch. I had seen Lily let out a little chuckle, and I had seen her try very hard to stifle a laugh. I knew she was trying not to laugh, but even I couldn't help myself but to let out a tiny snort of laughter.

Once we were done our discussion, we headed out of The Three Broomsticks, and went on a stroll down the streets of Hogsmeade. We passed The Shrieking Shack, which, at the time, I did not know was really only inhabited by Remus Lupin. The Hog's Head was just down the road, and on my left was a store that is no longer there, called 'Wizarding Games Galore.' That was where I had bought my first ever game set of Wizard's Chess, and my first ever game of Exploding Snaps.

We were walking down the streets of Hogsmeade when those good-for-nothing marauders came strolling right past us. I heard James say mutter something about me being a slimeball, but I chose to just ignore him.

Lily and I walked into Honeyduke’s, hand-in-hand. We walked around a little bit, and saw those damn marauders again. Lily and I grabbed a few bars of chocolate, and took them to the register where we paid for them. It came to seven galleons. We paid, and left, with those marauders right behind us. I swear they were following us wherever we went.

“Lily, I know we haven’t really been dating, but, I love you.” That was the only time those words escaped from my lips throughout the course of my whole life, and I will never say them again. Those were the last words I said to Lily before that ‘love’ was ruined completely.

“Oh, shove it, ya greasy-haired git!” I hear someone yell from behind. I turned around, and saw that it was James Potter who had yelled those words. His face was blood red with anger. I had beaten him in one thing my whole life; I was the first one to go on a date with Lily Evans. “Snivellus, get away from her now, before I have to take some sort of action against you. And believe me, I will. Lily is mine, and you cannot have her at all.” I could see the fire in his eyes, staring at me, trying to burn a hole through my head. For what? I went on a date with Lily Evans; it made no sense to me at the time. Why couldn’t he just stay away? It’s not like he had shown before that he loved her.

“Why should I, Potter?” I spat back at him.

“Because, I love her, too!” James shouted at me. I never thought I would hear those words come from him. He was talking about Evans, for Christ’s sake! He couldn’t stand her!

“Conglutino!” I shouted. Before you could say the word ‘hippopotamus’, James was suspended in midair, dangling by his feet, and wrapped in a thick metal wire.

“Severus! Let him down!” Lily yelled. Her eyes were streaming, and she ran towards James. She grabbed him around the waist, and sobbed into his shirt. Did she love him? If so, why was she here with me? I let Potter down, and he landed with a thud on the ground. When he recovered from the fall, Lily engulfed him in a hug.

“Now, go away slimeball!” Lily screamed at me. At me! I couldn’t believe her! She was on a date with me, and I’m the one who was told to go away. Not James, me. Lily had never said anything like that in her whole life, and I was the first person she said something mean to.

I slowly trudged down the streets of Hogsmeade, and so coincidentally, it started raining. I walked down the street, dragging my feet through the thick puddles already forming on the grounds. The bottom of my long black cloak was soaking wet already, and so was my hair. My head was hanging down towards the ground. I heard Lily talking to James, both having a good time as they ran back to the school, right past me.

I just kept on walking as slowly as before, wondering if I would ever have the chance to love again.