Harry Potter and the Return to Youth

Chapter 6: New Beginnings

o ------ o ------ o

Harry spent the rest of the morning and afternoon brooding over everything Dumbledore had told him. Despite the Headmaster's admonishment to remain calm, Harry found himself consumed by an angry helpless feeling. He tried his best to come up with a good argument for allowing his friends to know about him, he tried to come up with ways to keep himself safe at Hogwarts, and he thought of ways to spoil Dumbledore's plans all together. He pondered and glowered all the more when it came to him that most of the reasons he could present to Dumbledore boiled down to one simple truth: it just wasn't fair. Fair play was important to Harry, but he wasn't naïve enough to think it would make much of an argument.

It wasn't until after he ate dinner that Harry finally stopped brooding and picked up Your Magic and You again. Unsurprisingly, Dobby had come with his meal, as well as word that he had the honor of being the only house elf to know that Mister Harry Potter sir was alive and well. He wasn't in a mood to entertain Dobby and sent him off with the excuse that he was busy and wanted to read. Harry did feel momentarily bad for sending Dobby off like that and thought the least he could do was be honest both with himself as well as with the elf. He picked up the book again and flipped to the chapter on Occlumency while he munched on a sandwich.

Chapter 6: Occlumency

Occlumency is a term to refer to the study of internal magics that deal with the mind and memory. There are several distinct magical disciplines that fall under the Occlumency category. Be warned that study of any of the branches of Occlumency is dangerous and should be done with extreme care and in a stress-free environment.

The most basic form of Occlumency concerns the modification of magical memory. Whenever you, a witch or wizard, experiences something in life it is remembered in your body, mind, and in your magic. Body and mind are obvious: if you trip and skin your knee you can remember that you skinned a knee in your mind and your body feels it at your knee. With magic there are few obvious manifestation of memory. One broad example of magical memory is the ability all witches and wizards have to adapt to magic cast upon them. The more you are hit with a stunning 'stupefy' curse, the harder it is to keep you down.

Any and all events that occur during your life are imprinted in your magic. Since magic is infinitely malleable and is formed by the mind, you can control what your magic remembers. While a complete modification of your magical memory is impractical, it is often useful to remove or change certain magical memories to misdirect anyone who manages to snoop in them. Also if you have the means to display a memory through a pensieve, or any other magical device or spell, it is the magical memory that is displayed rather than the memory kept in either your mind or body.

The basic technique to modify a memory is done in the following steps. First, you must clear your mind of everything but the memory to be modified, created, or removed, and concentrate on the thought. Stray thoughts can lead to stray memories floating around in your magic that may unduly influence yourself. For example, while creating a memory a floating rubber duck for the viewing pleasure of a friendly legilimens, you have sudden thought about how silly it would be for a duck to drown in water. Later you may set something on fire and when you try an aquaious spell to put the fire out, your wand shoots sparks rather than water.

The second step depends on what you want to do. Should you wish to create an entirely new memory, you merely stamp the thought into your magic through your mind's eye. Should you wish to remove or modify a magical memory, you must will your magic to move itself so the imprint of the exact memory that you have in mind is entirely within your mind's eye. Remember that concentrating on something is different than viewing it through your magic. You can concentrate on the bull's eye of a target and throw a dart at it while not viewing it through your mind's eye. A skilled Seer can concentrate on the bull's eye through his or her inner eye and tell you whether you will hit the bull's eye or not.

Once you have the memory in your mind's eye, you must pull it into your mind. You may then focus on another memory, should you wish to replace it. The best modifications contain as much detail as possible.

There are many different techniques for every aspect of memory modification, from concentrating on a specific memory to be created, to fetching the memory to your mind's eye, as well as pulling it out.

Another branch of Occlumency is concerned with keeping outside influences from touching your magic and keeping your magic from exerting any influence on persons or objects outside of yourself. It is called 'building the shield' and the practice is just as the name implies; you create a shield over your magic with your magic that will detect, stop, or even do injury to the wielder of any foreign mental magic that comes into contact with you.

There are many other branches of Occlumency that this book will not mention nor describe because they are used to influence the user's magic and can be quite disastrous to even the most careful and well intentioned wizard.

A more detailed explanation of memory modification tells you...

Harry struggled to read through the rest of the chapter in silence before he fruitlessly attempted some of the exercises meant for clearing and concentrating his mind. He was still a bit upset about what Dumbledore had said earlier, and despite a few frustrated efforts, he couldn't find the calm stillness that the book described. He simply couldn't stop himself from thinking; he couldn't stop himself from feeling.

His first failures frustrated Harry. He tried to imagine flames consuming his thoughts and feelings; he tried to imagine crumbling them up and tossing them in the bin. There were several recommended exercises and none of them seemed to work. This was supposed to be an entirely mental exercise, and Harry found it odd that the more he tried and failed, the wearier he became. Harry tried exercise after exercise for two hours before the exhaustion became too much and he gave up in favor of sleep.

o ------ o ------ o

A ray of sunlight shining through a curtained window woke him early the following morning. Harry yawned and stretched before lifting his head and gazing around the room. Fawkes' perch had been moved out with the bird himself yesterday, shortly after Dumbledore had left, so Harry was surprised to find a new perch, with familiar occupant, standing where the old one had been.

Hedwig hooted cheerfully at him and jumped off the perch to glide towards him in a manner that demanded he extend his arm for her to perch. After she settled herself and Harry began to fondly stroke her head, the bird turned and caught his finger in her beak.

"Hedwig! I thought I would never see you again." Harry smiled. Hedwig hooted and jumped to Harry's shoulder where she rubbed her brow against the side of Harry's head and nipped his ear. "I thought I was going to be all alone, but I should have known you would never leave me. You're the best owl a wizard could have." Hedwig reaffirmed that point with an emphatic hoot.

Hedwig and Harry's happy reunion was interrupted by the arrival of Dobby with breakfast. "Harry Potter! Dobby is so happy to be seeing you happy again, sir!" The elf placed a breakfast spread upon a conjured table at the foot of the bed before leaping onto Harry and hugging him tightly. With Dobby hugging him like that, Harry couldn't help but feel guilty over how he'd snubbed the house-elf the night before.

"Dobby saw what that nasty Muggle has done to Harry Potter's stomach! He knew to get Professor Dumbledore right away, sir! And Dobby was right and now Harry Potter is still alive!" The elf punctuated this statement by adding a sharp squeeze to his hug.

Harry struggled to pull the house elf off. "That's enough, Dobby. I am very glad to see you, too. Do you know if anyone else is going to come to see me today?"

"Good morning, Harry. I trust you are feeling better this morning?"

Harry looked over to the corner of the room and saw Albus Dumbledore standing in the disappearing doorway. As he approached them, Harry replied, "I am well, sir. Dobby just brought me breakfast."

"Ah, indeed he has. Would you mind if I joined you? I thought we might talk more about your plans for this summer. While we are at it, we can address any lingering concerns you have with our previous discussion." Dumbledore conjured a fine oak round table with matching wooden office chairs with padding on their arms, seat, and back.

"Erm...of course, Headmaster. It's your room, after all." Harry rose unsteadily and staggered over to the seat opposite the Headmaster. Dumbledore sat as well.

"Dobby, would you mind serving us?" Dumbledore asked the house elf, who had been patiently waiting at the foot of the bed with the tray holding Harry's breakfast.

"Of course, Headmaster Dumbledore, sir!" With a snap of Dobby's fingers the tray disappeared and two times its contents appeared on the table.

"Thank you, Dobby," Dumbledore acknowledged. "Would you mind staying until we have completed our meal? I may have a few tasks for you, as well as a possible new assignment. You are a very good house-elf, Dobby, and I would like to remind you how glad I am that you can keep Harry's secrets." The Headmaster finished with a smile to an ecstatic Dobby.

Dobby bowed low while he replied, "Of course, sir. Dobby knows nobody must learn that Harry Potter is still alive, sir. Dobby is a good elf and keeps his master's secrets. Dobby will wait for Professor Dumbledore, sir." Dobby quickly retreated a polite distance away and, curiously enough, summoned a pair of knitting needles with a length of knitted wool attached and paid no more mind to them.

Dumbledore turned back to Harry and smiled. "Eat your fill, Harry. There is no rush." The Headmaster began to spoon eggs, kippers, bacon, and a few hashed browns onto his plate with seamless gusto.

"Yes, Headmaster." Harry piled his plate high with breakfast foods and began to eat. It wasn't very long before his impatience got the best of him and he asked, "So what is going to happen to me now, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore finished chewing his food while Harry waited impatiently. He swallowed before replying, "What do you want to happen, Harry?" He sipped his tea and took a dainty bite of his toast while he waited.

"I want... You know what I want, and we both know I'm not going to get it." Harry scowled at the table. "It's just not fair."

"The world seldom is fair, Harry. Fate has been exceedingly cruel to you, but I have faith that everything will work out in the end." This was small comfort for Harry. Dumbledore wasn't abandoning everything he knew and loved so he could train to fight Dark wizards.

Harry grunted and stared absently at the table while he ate, the food tasted like dirt. After he swallowed the last all of his eggs Harry spoke again, "I just want to be happy again. There are so many things that I haven't had that everyone else takes for granted." Harry swallowed audibly before continuing, "I want a normal family, normal friends, and a normal life." Harry looked down into his lap and took a deep breath before wiping his face and lifting his head once more and moodily took a bite of bacon. "Even with any grand sort of plan you might have, Headmaster, I'm not likely to get that."

Dumbledore looked at the youth with twinkling and enigmatic eyes. "You may not see it now, Harry, but all those things you want could still be yours. I cannot give you a family, nor can I tell anyone to be your friend. These are things I am confident you must and will earn yourself. What I can provide you is an environment where you are likely to find them."

Harry stopped chewing and looked at the Headmaster with suspicious confusion. "So, I'll ask you again: what is going to happen?"

The Headmaster paused and gazed at Harry kindly. "As we discussed before, we will disguise you and you will attend Beauxbatons Academy with a different identity. However, there are a great many things you must learn this summer before that is possible. You must put every effort into learning Occlumency; it is imperative that Voldemort remain ignorant of our scheme. I have little doubt that if you are not careful he will sense you, and you will be in danger once again. This is important enough that I will personally instruct you, and see to it that you can construct and maintain a shield keep him from noticing you. If it were possible, I would prefer we began now. Unfortunately, there are things I must attend to this morning. If you have no objection, perhaps we can hold a lesson this evening at seven o'clock?"

"Err... Okay," Harry replied. He should have thought of it before: if he had visions of Voldemort then Voldemort surely could have visions of him. "Err, sir, I've had all these visions of Voldemort. Who is to say he hasn't already had some from me? And if he has had some, couldn't he already know that I'm still alive?"

Dumbledore smiled slightly and replied, "I would know if he had, Harry. Trust me; as of this morning he hasn't. You would do best to try to stay as calm as possible and avoid situations which could upset you. Strong emotion tends to rouse violent movement in a person's magic. Consider the Patronus Charm. The stronger the emotion you feel when you conjure it, the brighter it will be. This concept applies to all magic and you would do well to always keep it in mind."

Harry nodded in agreement. "Okay then. I'll try to stay as calm as I can till I learn this Occlumency stuff."

Dumbledore nodded with satisfaction. "Another thing that you must learn this summer is personal transfiguration. As you recall, when I examined your magic yesterday I sensed the potential for you to develop into at least a partial Metamorphmagus. A Metamorphmagus is a person who can wandlessly transfigure their body at will. They are very rare, but luckily, I believe I can secure a trustworthy one to train you. Tell me, Harry, have you ever had any part of your body change without anyone casting a spell on you?"

This was a bit much for Harry who hesitantly replied, "I'm a what?"

"A person capable of wandless self-transfiguration. Think of it as being similair to possessing the potential to become an Animagus. Has your body ever changed shape unexpectedly? Has your hair ever changed color, or grown or shrunk too quickly for it to be natural? Have you skinned a knee, only to find it healed completely the following morning?"

"Err, my hair. Aunt Petunia always hated it and one day she took some scissors and cut almost all of it off. It was back when I woke up the next morning. They gave me a bucket and locked me in the cupboard for a week after that," Harry frowned.

Dumbledore looked a cross between disgruntled and pleased at that. "Well, the fact remains you did change your hair. It is a start and it will give Nymphadora something to work with. In any case, those are the two skills in which you must achieve competency as soon as possible. I have arranged quarters for you for the rest of the summer with Madame Coine and you will leave later this evening with her. There is one other thing of which you must be made aware, Harry..." Dumbledore sighed. "You will not be able to enter Beauxbatons as a fifth year."

"What?" Harry shouted before continuing in heated tones, "Do you think I'm stupid or something? What is the point of going to school at all if I'm not in the right year? What year do you want me to be in anyway?"

The Headmaster replied as if stating the obvious, "Harry, I do not think you are stupid and please remember to try to stay calm," Dumbledore chided. "You will still be able to learn a great deal of magic both in the Beauxbaton's curriculum as well as outside it as a first year."

Harry snorted and replied, "I haven't been eleven for three years. I won't look like any first year they've ever seen." His glare dared Dumbledore to disagree.

"Then we will simply have to make you eleven again, Harry. There are ways to reduce one's age and to our good fortune, I have the means at hand to do so. I trust you remember the Philosopher's Stone?" After Harry's incredulous nod and statement, "But wasn't it destroyed?" Dumbledore continued. "We will use my stone, of course, as Nicholas's is no longer available."

Dumbledore smiled reassuringly at him. "I will have you know that this isn't the first time that this has been accomplished. I was not born Albus Dumbledore, no... In fact three hundred years ago I went by the name Brian Weasley. There is nothing to worry about, Harry, it is a simple procedure and all that you must do is supply four drops of your blood for the potion and then drink it. You will fit right in, don't worry."

Harry shook his head and replied. "Is there anything you can't do, Headmaster?"

"Yes, there is, my boy," the Headmaster said thoughtfully. "But, for the time being, we will deal with what we can do, which begins with hiding you and then teaching you what you must know so that you can do what I cannot."

Silence hung in the air for a minute after Dumbledore finished. Harry stared pensively at the floor for a moment before looking up to Dumbledore with frightened eyes as the enormity of what the Headmaster proposed finally sank in. "I... I never really realized it, sir. You mean, I have to be the one to kill Voldemort? I had always hoped that it would be you. I thought, even though he's always been after me, he is only really afraid of you." Harry took a deep breath. "I have to do it alone; it's always me. Why does it have to be me? Why am I always alone?"

Dumbledore stood up from his chair and rounded the table before drawing the boy out of his chair and into a hug. "I cannot say why fate works the way it does, but I can assure you, Harry, you will never be alone. While you are there you will undoubtedly make new friends, Madame Coine will be there for you, and I will be there for you. When you leave tonight, you will do so with a mirror through which you will always be able to contact me. I know that initially this will be very difficult for you, Harry, but I am confident that you can do this. Always remember that there are people who care for you, and that I am one of them."

Tears leaked out of Harry's eyes as he silently returned the Headmaster's hug.

"I have to go now, Harry. There are a several things that must be done and people who I must see before you leave. I will be back to see you off, and if you become lonely, Dobby is only a ring away." He gestured towards a nightstand which held Dobby's hand-bell. "Dobby also will not leave you Harry, and you may keep the bell. Dobby will hear its summons from anywhere in the world and he will answer them promptly. Isn't that right, Dobby?" Dumbledore smiled at the elf that was still knitting in the corner.

Dobby stood up immediately before he bowed formally. "Dobby would be very happy to be serving Harry Potter, Professor Dumbledore sir."

Dumbledore smiled, "Excellent Dobby. Now Harry, there is one thing I would ask you to be mindful of while using this bell. To avoid any questions, please try to call upon Dobby only when it is likely there would be nobody about to see him leave. It would hardly do for him to disappear while preparing or cleaning up after meals when he is with all the other elves."

The Headmaster stepped away from Harry and made for the door.

Harry called out a rough, quick, and heartfelt, "Thank you, Headmaster," before Dumbledore smiled at him over his shoulder and stepped through the door which promptly disappeared.

Harry slouched at the table for a minute before he sighed, stretched, and gingerly stepped back into his bed. "Dobby, would you like to visit me from time to time this summer? I think you might be my only friend who'll be allowed to see me."

"Of course Dobby will visit! Ring his bell and Dobby will be coming to visit or clean or cook for Harry Potter whenever he wants!" the elf responded with gusto.

Harry smiled back at the elf. "Well, I suppose I better get started with my packing. Would you mind clearing up breakfast?"

"Of course, Harry Potter!" A snap later the spread was gone and Dobby was bowing before he too disappeared with a crack.

Harry didn't much like the idea of rolling out of bed again so soon, and he stepped softly and moved slowly as he sat down before his trunk. The next hour saw Harry sorting and folding its meager contents, including some he hadn't seen for what felt like years. Everything that Harry owned was there, and after checking that he had everything, (mostly his album, invisibility cloak, the map, and a few of his birthday and Christmas gifts) he began to sort them back into the trunk.

After folding one too many pairs of his faded grey shorts, Harry came to a sudden realization. Harry's wardrobe was not only absolutely dreadful, it was conspicuous. He couldn't very well go out and shop for new clothing now, though. Someone would certainly recognize him. He left his trunk open and crawled back up onto his bed, resolving to ask Dumbledore about it when he returned. Once he was comfortable, Harry realized that he had little else to do for the rest of the day; and for the lack of anything better to do, he settled down once again to resume where he'd left off in Your Magic and You.

About two and a half hours later, Harry was startled to hear the sound of someone knocking on wood. "Who is there?" He called to the room at large.

"It is I!" The voice of Aileen Coine sounded from the wall around the area where the door had been before.

Harry wiped a hand over his face in relief. "Oh, well, come in then," Harry called back before marking his place in the book and putting it down on the nightstand.

She was already in the room when Harry looked up a few seconds later. "'Ello 'Arry," she greeted.

Harry smiled slightly and returned her greeting. "Hello, what brings you here?"

"I am 'ere to deescuss with you our summer. Professor Dumbly-dorr 'as told me 'is plans for you. I 'ave a 'ouse on ze lands of ze Delacour Château. You can stay with me there in a weezarding tent until you 'ave learned ze metamorph magics. I zink that will be safe enough, non?"

"Err... will it be a nice tent?" he asked. He could clearly remember the cat-smelling one the Weasleys had had at the World Cup. Staying in one of those for months on end was the last thing he wanted to do.

She smiled at Harry with amusement. "Of course ze tent will be splendide with all you will need. You will be tres confortable. I zink ze 'eadmaster 'as some zings for you to be taking with us. A meerror?"

"Yeah he said something about that. Do you think now that I'm dead we can put a Glamour on me so I can get some new clothes?" he asked hopefully.

Madame Coine laughed before she replied, "Non, 'Arry you know better zen zat." She looked at him thoughtfully before continuing. "Eizer me or ze 'ouse-elf can take ze measurements and find clothes for you."

Thinking fast he stammered, "Err.. I'll have Dobby do the measurements and give them to you okay?" If he had to take anything off, Harry thought he would rather do it in front of the house-elf than the mediwitch any day. He smiled weakly. "I'll have him do it today after lunch. Don't get too much though. When I get de-aged I might shrink a bit."

Aileen smiled merrily and cheerily replied, "Eef you are more comfortable with ze 'ouse-elf. I will acquerir one set of clothing zen... Ze tent is set up and is ready for you. You are packed.... I zink zat is it."

"How about lunch then?" Harry asked, glad to change the subject.

"After I see your stomach. You should not be out of ze bed yet, but I see zer is no keeping you down." She gave Harry an indulgent smile before carefully pressing Harry down into the bed and lifting up Harry's shirt to begin her examination. "I will 'ave restoring potions for you tonight. You still must be drinking zem." Harry blushed with embarrassment, but managed to keep from criticizing her tactless bed manners.

Dobby was summoned for lunch only after Madame Coine finished examining Harry's belly with a lengthy combination of diagnostic charms. After a meal of ham and Swiss sandwiches, Harry decided to finally put up with the inevitable and told Dobby that he needed his measurements taken so Madame Coine could go clothes shopping for him later.

After sending Madame Coine away laughing at his embarrassment, Harry subjected himself to the house-elf's enthusiastic attentions. It was a mortifying experience that Harry was more than happy to be done with by the time he got his gray sweats and jumper back on.

Once he was done measuring, Dobby popped away to deliver his magically written results to Madame Coine. With nothing left to do that afternoon, Harry settled down again to read.

It was dusk before another visitor came to Harry's room. When the door opened shortly after seven Harry could do nothing but sit there and gape as a familiar gaunt man rushed towards him all but screaming his name.

o ------ o ------ o

AN: Next Chapter: Interlude: Interlude: Revelations in Grief

This chapter was beta'd by Lisa and Fuzzbutt. Please make sure to thank them in your reviews. Without their efforts my work wouldn't be as great as it is.