Where'd You Go?

Chapter Six. Turning Point

"The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story."

--Emil Ludwig

Ginny quickly shut the door behind her, slumped against it, and let out a deep breath that she only just became aware of holding. She felt incredibly flustered and suddenly very aware of the beating of her heart.

She was being silly. Why should she be afraid of Draco? I'm not, Ginny reassured herself defiantly. It was difficult to pinpoint exactly what she was feeling though. She felt so strange in his presence, so unlike herself. It was odd and unsettling to know that she couldn't even determine her own feelings. It was even more unsettling to know it was because of Draco Malfoy.

Ginny went to her room and stretched out on her bed.

It couldn't have been him that was making her feel so unlike herself. It was just the fact that she was lonely and missing Harry, Ron and Hermione.

She sat up and pulled open the drawer to the bedside table. She drew out a few sheets of parchment, her favourite quill, and an inkbottle. She then propped her pillow up, leaned back against it, and began to write.

Dear Harry,

Each day that tears us farther apart also brings us closer together because it means that it's one less day that I have to wait for you. Where did you go? When will you come back? Why did you have to leave? I have so many questions that you can't answer, and I have only my imagination and our memories to hold me over. I hope and pray every day that you're all right and that you come back soon. Does that make me selfish? I hope not. The way I see it, it either came down to us here together while the world falls down around us, or you out there without me, saving the world. Did we make the right decision? Of course we did; we're Gryffindors. You'll always pick what is right over what is easy, and it's one of the reasons why I love you so much. It hurt like hell to let you go though. It still hurts. Sometimes I just want to tear everything apart and scream at the top of my lungs. But then I think of you, and Ron and Hermione as well. And then I'm fine again.

Loving you always,

Ginny

Sometimes she felt just a little pathetic as she wrote these letters to no one. She was infinitely glad that they would never see the light of day. With a flick of her wand, she sent it flying into the crackling fire and watched it burn to ashes.

Draco Malfoy was so different from anything or anyone she had ever known before. Strange as it sounded, it was almost refreshing to be in such close proximity to someone who wasn't brimming over with Gryffindor pride.

And then there was the fact that their families hated each other. She knew how taboo it would be to strike up a friendship with him, and that made it even more exciting.

"Of course!" she said aloud, triumphantly. It was becoming clearer to her now. Ginny smiled. She felt much better now that she had labelled and categorised her emotions in her mind. Not to mention that it would be nice to finally have somebody to talk to again. She didn't expect to be friends with Draco, of course. But he would definitely be a nice change from the drudgery that had become her life. Ginny looked over the neatly made-up bed at the other side of the room that belonged to Hermione and was saddened. Without the people that meant the most to her, she felt as if she was living without a purpose.

Ginny swiped at the slight dampness at her cheeks and sighed. It was an all-inclusive sigh. Her stomach suddenly rumbled, and with a small smile, she headed down to dinner.

Once she was in the corridor, she smelled the familiarly pleasing aroma of pot roast. Mmm, my favourite, she thought. She felt a little strange and uncomfortable as she came to Draco's door but passed by without pause. It wasn't until she got to the landing that she heard his door click open. She saw Draco stick his head out his room, and for once, she caught a view of his completely unguarded face. It was captivating.

His tousled platinum locks fell in his face. His eyes were closed, and there was a smile playing around his lips, an expression she had never seen on him before. He breathed in deeply and let out a contented sigh.

It was not only his face, either. He had taken off his dark green jumper and was wearing a plain white t-shirt in its place. He also had socks on his feet without shoes. It looked odd at first to see him dressed so casually outside of the mornings, but the more she looked at him, the more Ginny came to realise that she preferred him this way.

It took Ginny utterly by surprise, and she quickly ducked around the corner before he could see her. She slid down the wall and landed on the floor with a soft thud.

Where had his cold demeanour gone? She felt as if this was the first time she had the privilege to catch a real glimpse of Draco. He finally seemed human to her now.

Abruptly, his door snapped back closed, and it snapped her out of her reverie. She got on her hands and knees, peeked around the wall, and saw he was no longer there. That was the Draco she wanted to live with. Be friends with. Yes, friends. Who were they kidding? They both needed a friend. Mere civility wouldn't kill her. And she was sure Harry wouldn't mind too much. He himself had felt a certain amount of pity for Draco during the summer. Who was she kidding? Malfoy was Harry's worst enemy. Ron's as well. But they're not exactly here at the moment, are they? So, for now, it doesn't matter. Now the only problem is convincing Draco. Luckily, I'm persuasive. Or at the very least, persistent.

Ginny scrambled to her feet, smoothing down her clothes and hair, before opening his door. He was in the process of pulling his jumper back over his head and didn't notice her at first. She leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms, smiling.

"Shite!" he yelped when he finally saw her. "What the devil are you doing here?"

She could see he was flustered and clearly trying to put his façade back in place. It was actually kind of amusing.

"No need to get so defensive," Ginny said lightly. "I only came to tell you that dinner's ready."

"Would it have hurt you to knock?" Draco said and scowled at her. He waved his wand over his shoes, and they laced themselves up. "I could have been wanking off, and you would have been in for a nice little surprise, wouldn't you have?"

Ginny's arms fell to her side, and her mouth formed a perfect "o". Don't blush, don't blush, don't...She felt her cheeks redden and burn. And totally unbidden, shady images started to form in her mind, and she had to force herself to repel them. You do not want to go there.

"On second thought," he said with a smirk and sidled up to her, "maybe that's just what you need."

"You're disgusting!" Ginny turned away from him and started walking back down the corridor. Her cheeks were perhaps even more enflamed than before.

"I'm truthful, and you know it," he said lazily, right behind her. So close, in fact, that she could smell him and feel his breath.

"Dinner!" her mum yelled.

"About time," Ginny muttered and stormed away. Sometimes she didn't understand her own self.

A few mornings later, Draco and Ginny were alone at the breakfast table. She had all but abandoned her decision to befriend him, and they had continued on with their cold civility. The more she thought about it, the more she believed it was for the best anyway. She was also coming to realise that she could be an idiot at times.

"Pass the syrup, please?" she asked him, about to tuck into the meal that she had cooked. It was Friday, and both her parents were off again. It worried her that they were gone so much. Usually her mother could be depended upon to be home, and her being away so often was a sign of how bad things had become. Ginny felt so isolated from the rest of the world and useless right along with it. Sometimes she just wanted to give up her relatively safe condition and leave. Just leave and go fight, or help somebody - anything to feel needed. Then she would realise how absurd she was being, bottle up her emotions once more, and tend to her studies.

"What?" Draco asked. He was staring at her as if she had asked him to hand over his wand instead of the syrup.

"The syrup," she prompted, "it's right next to you."

"What the hell do you need syrup for?"

"What's with the questions? I'm not about to dump it over your head if that's what you're worried about."

"Of course I wasn't. Haven't you ever heard the term 'slower than molasses' before?"

Ginny groaned. She finally just got up herself and snatched the bottle away from the table, only to place it in front of her place a few inches away. "Thank you for nothing," she snapped.

"Tell me," he said with a look of utter disgust on his face, "that you are not about to put those on your eggs."

"I most certainly am. What's wrong with that?"

"Syrup on scrambled eggs?"

"Yes."

"With cheese?"

"Yes!" Ginny insisted. "It's not as horrible as you think, you know. I don't drench them or anything; just drizzle a bit over them. You should try it." She kicked her slippers off, crossed her legs in her chair, and pulled her extra large t-shirt over her knees. Her mother would be appalled, but she was comfortable.

"I would rather eat shite than eat that. Not I see much of a difference at the moment..."

"Are you taking the mickey out of me for my cooking?"

He seemed to debate with himself for a moment. Finally he said, "Your cooking is like your mother's."

Ginny considered that and smiled. "I take that as a compliment then."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Whatever gets you through the day."

Ginny genuinely laughed, and for the first time, she didn't feel completely awkward in his presence. And if she looked hard enough, she could even see a little of his own ice melting off.

"I dare you to try some," she said in a challenging tone, still chuckling.

"You dare me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "What are we, third years?"

Ginny observed him. She could plainly see that as much as he wished otherwise, he was enjoying himself just as much as she was.

"I see," she said in mock-realisation. "Draco Malfoy can play Quidditch, can boast about all his 'extensive' skills, but is too afraid to eat a little eggs with syrup?"

"Don't forget the cheese," he grumbled.

"Of course not," she said, laughing again.

Ginny started eating her eggs and made exaggerated sounds. "So good," she would say every now and then. It took all of her power not to burst out laughing at the look on his face from her teasing.

"Fine," he finally drawled quietly. "I'll try one bite."

"What was that? I don't think I heard you." She put her hand to her ear.

"Rubbish, Ginny. You heard me just fine. Now give me a bite before I change my mind."

It was thrilling, somehow, to hear him say her name. It was the first time he had ever said it to her.

Ginny shook her head and disregarded the odd sensations in her stomach. She gathered up a whopping forkful of eggs and held it out to him.

"Not so fast," he said with a smirk.

"What is it now?"

"If I do this, then I get to dare you to do something."

Ginny's eyes opened wide in surprise. "Something like what?" she asked sceptically.

"Hmm," he said. "I think I'll reserve the right to decide."

"That hardly sounds fair," she pouted.

Draco shrugged. "Take it or leave it."

And suddenly Ginny knew what he was playing it. He fully expected her to "leave it," therefore letting him get away without tasting it. Because why would she willingly place herself at his mercy? Indeed, why would she? Perhaps she wanted to prove a point. Or maybe she was just enough of a masochist find out what he had in store for her.

"I'm taking it," she said. Draco opened his mouth, presumably to say something, but Ginny instead took that opportunity to stick the fork in his mouth.

Draco started to choke on the eggs, and Ginny couldn't hold in her laughter anymore. She doubled over as she watched him chew and force the eggs down.

"Now, was that so hard?" she asked him when he had swallowed.

"Terrible," he answered and took big gulps of orange juice.

"Liar," she said, calling his bluff.

"You want me to be honest?" he asked as he wiped his mouth off with a napkin.

Ginny brushed a piece of hair away that was falling into her eyes. "That's all I ever ask."

Now Draco was watching her, and she was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Not bad," he said suddenly, still watching her.

He had been watching her so intently that Ginny was confused as to whether he meant her or the eggs. Was he passing some sort of judgement on her, or was she just over-analysing as usual? Maybe he was talking about both.

"Thanks," she said softly to whichever one he was referring.

"I never thought I would hear a sincere thanks from a Weasley," Draco said sarcastically.

"You never deserved one before," Ginny retorted. "Don't forget that you're the enemy."

Draco scoffed. "Like I ever would."

"I didn't mean it like that," she said and rolled her eyes. "I just meant that you're a Malfoy, and I'm a Weasley. You're a Slytherin and I'm a Gryffindor. You're--"

"I'm an ex-Death Eater and you're on the side of the 'good and light'." He said "good and light" in a tone that was clearing mocking all that she stood for.

"That's right, I am," Ginny spat in a proud defiance. "And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Well, you clearly don't support us, and yet you call yourself an ex-Death Eater."

"That speaks for itself then, doesn't it?" Draco said and sat up straighter in his chair.

"Not really," Ginny said flatly.

"Well, it doesn't matter. What I think and do doesn't matter to you, and it's none of your business anyway."

Draco made to get up, but Ginny abruptly grabbed his arm. His skin was warm and heated her cool skin. Out of pure curiosity and probably insanity, she pushed the sleeve of his grey t-shirt that almost matched his eyes, and exposed his Dark Mark tattoo.

Ginny took a finger and hesitantly touched it. Instead of recoiling like she expected him to, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Right above the tattoo was another scar that had healed from the summer, and she traced that too.

"It matters to me," she said gently.

"Why?" he insisted, refusing to meet her eyes. "We're born enemies. You hate me, and the feeling is pretty much mutual. I've done things that you think are terrible, but that I'm not about to apologise for."

"I'm not asking you to. I already know what kind of person you are, and I would be a fool to think you would change. But..."

"What?" he asked, finally facing her. Her hand was still on his forearm.

"I really don't know," she answered honestly. And then without thinking, without considering the consequences and without wondering why, Ginny Weasley kissed Draco Malfoy.