All Or Nothing

Chapter Seven. Season's Change

If it was possible to actually find a level of contentment in the midst of a war, than Luna had definitely found it. Yes, there was still that undercurrent of fear that was going throughout school, especially since Death Eater activity had been picking up. And she was still stressed because NEWT's were only in a matter of weeks. But when she spent time with him, or even thought about him, everything seemed almost right in the world, if only for a moment.

She was currently under their favorite tree by the lake, waiting for him to finish up his last class of the day before dinner. They had started meeting under the tree ever since the first hint of the warm weather breaking through. They were both nature people at heart.

Luna breathed in the intoxicating scents of spring; the damp earth from a recent rain, the sap from the trees around her. She took in the sounds of the birds chirping and the sway of the leaves in the light wind. And she sensed...Neville close by. She felt a smile creep to her face.

"Now what's a lovely girl like you doing out here all on her own?"

She looked up to see him standing above her with his arms folded and an expression of mock concern on his face.

"Well," she said, following along, "I'm waiting for my professor so we can carry on with a wickedly clandestine affair, but I fear he's left me for another girl, probably some Gryffindor snot," she sniffed.

Neville sat down next to her, leaned his back against the tree and stretched his legs out. "If it weren't for that last remark I would have called the fellow a real prat."

"And now?"

He gently leaned forward until their noses caressed one another's, and whispered against her lips, "And now I call him lucky for finding such a cool looking girl with a fierce fire inside of her."

He was about to kiss her but Luna placed her finger against their lips as a barrier. "And you gleaned all of that from just sentence, or do you have any prior experience?"

Neville smirked. "I know that, despite your appearance, you're no ice queen."

Luna frowned slightly. She may not have been an ice queen herself, but she always used to have the king by her side. She suppressed a shudder. Luna didn't want to think about him in Neville's presence.

"No, I'm not," she said in a slightly deadpanned manner, but he just took it as sarcastic.

"You showed me that the other night," he growled in her ear.

Luna pinked. She actually pinked. They hadn't had sex, but they had gotten pretty damn close to it. If the knock on the door by Professor hadn't interrupted them (and effectually cooled their ardor, as well) she was not sure they would have done it on their own accord. Now, though, she was glad they hadn't gone through with it, if only because she had not imagined her first time would be on a hard desk cluttered with papers and other rubbish. Not that she was expecting a bed of roses, or anything (though that would be nice...) but an actual bed would be preferable. Now, however, she was sure she wanted to wait for a different reason - marriage. Not that she was particularly religious, but the idea did sound nice, to be with only person for your whole life.

Neville then proceeded to nibble on the ear he just finished whispering in, and Luna felt lost. Any and all coherent thoughts fled her brain to be replaced by flashed of the two of them, in anything but innocent situations.

He worked his way to her neck, jaw, and then finally to her lips, where he devoured her mouth. All the while his hand had worked his way under her shirt and was gently smoothing his way up her stomach. All the sensations were feeling very good to Luna, and with no interruptions this time, she was likely to go all the way if she didn't nip it right now.

She managed to pull herself away and regain some of her composure, though he was still stroking her skin.

"Something wrong?" he asked with his eyebrows knit together.

"Marry me," she blurted suddenly. Well, she was one to never beat around the bush, after all.

"What?" he asked, his eyes widening and his motions abruptly stopping.

Luna took a deep breath and said more slowly this time, "Marry me."

"I heard you, I just--"

"You just don't want to marry me," she said quietly. "It's okay, I understand." But it definitely hurt. Two rejections in as many years, though at least with Draco it hadn't even gotten close to the point of either one of them considering marriage.

"Damn it, Luna, you've barely even given me the chance to digest any of this."

"What's to digest? You either know what you want or you don't. The ancient Grellowtippins believed that, and I'm inclined to agree with them."

Neville shook his head. "I never get used to that," he muttered.

"What?" she asked guardedly.

"I never get used to you sprouting...er...obscure facts like that."

"Yeah, well, that's me," she said darkly and started to get up.

"Wait," he said desperately, tugging on her hand and, accidentally or not, plopping her onto his lap.

"What more could there be so say? After all we never had any commitments and..."

"Oh, will you just shut the hell up for a moment and let me talk?"

"Fine," she huffed and folded her arms, just a little bit offended. "Talk."

Neville took a deep breath and said, "The only reason why I was so shocked is because I was disappointed. I was disappointed that you got to ask me before I was able to ask you."

"You were going to ask me?" Luna gasped.

"Why are you so surprised?" Neville chuckled. "Do you think that I wouldn't want to marry you? Did you doubt for even a moment that I loved you?"

Luna didn't know what to say. It wasn't that she doubted him, she just had no idea that he would act on his feelings. She felt her heart soar; she loved and was loved back, and isn't that what everybody searches for in life?

"Because I do," he said fiercely and hugged her to him. She lay her head on his shoulder and reveled in the moment. "I even have a ring."

She didn't move but looked at him from his shoulder. "Really? And where is this ring?"

"It's up at the castle in my room. I had been planning a whole romantic evening together, where I would propose to you. Aren't you impressed? Aren't you going to jump up and down and scream your head off? I thought girls loved that kind of thing."

Luna cocked an eyebrow. "Do you really take me for the type of girl that would jump up and down screaming?"

"No," he said with a half grin. "And that's probably why I love you so much."

***

They sat outside together for only a short time more until they both had to be inside. It would be very suspicious if they were both missing from dinner, so they had come inside reluctantly. Luna longed for the days when she could finally have an openly acknowledged relationship.

Not feeling particularly hungry, Luna skipped dinner and went to the library instead. She was supposed to meet Ginny there anyway to study later, so she figured she'd get a head start. But to her surprise, Ginny was already there.

"How come you're not at dinner?" Luna asked as she joined her at a table. She opened her bag and started taking out her books, parchment and quills.

"Oh, I'll be having dinner later," she said vaguely.

Luna's interest was peaked but she didn't want to give her that satisfaction, so she didn't say anything more. Ten minutes later, however, her curiosity got the best of her.

"Fine, I give. Tell me more."

Ginny smirked. "I was wondering how long it would take you to ask. Anyway, you know how even though Harry's back, he still hasn't been around much, right?"

Luna rolled her eyes. "How could I not?" It was true that ever since Harry had returned from who-knows-where, he had still been missing a lot. All he would tell anyone was that he had something important to do, and that he was almost done. While this mollified everyone else, if only slightly, it incensed Ginny even more and it was all she seemed to be talking about lately.

"Well he promised he'd make it up to me, and he's coming to get me tonight and we're going to have dinner out."

"Where?"

"He's going to surprise me," she gushed.

"That's nice," Luna said with a smile but offered up no more comments and they got back to studying. She didn't trust herself to speak. While she knew that Ginny took this as a good sign and was very happy, Luna didn't want to burst her bubble with what she thought was in all actuality happening. This was the last supper, so to speak. The war was coming to a close and this would be ended soon and this was Harry's way of saying goodbye in case he didn't come out of it alive. The thought saddened her.

"Oh I forgot to ask," Ginny said. "Why weren't you at dinner?"

Luna shrugged. "Just didn't feel very hungry."

"Is anything wrong?"

"No," Luna said with a genuine smile. "Everything's right. I trust you won't say anything, right?"

"Of course not," Ginny said defensively. "We're friends and I'm a little hurt you could think I would blab your business all about the school."

"I'm sorry. It's just that if word got out..."

"Oh, just say it already!"

"No shouting in the library!" came the voice of Madam Pince.

"But she just did," Luna said absently.

"Luna..." Ginny said warningly.

"Sorry. Well, it's like this. Neville and I have been dating for a couple of months and now we're going to get married." She said that all really fast, just anxious to get it over with.

"Well I already knew that!"

Luna's jaw dropped. "You knew? But how?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "You don't grow up with Fred and George without being able to detect things that others can't. Now, I didn't know you were getting married, of course. But that's just wonderful!"

As they talked of trivial details, Luna couldn't help but let her mind wander to another man, and how he would react to the news. A lot of sneering would be involved, she thought wryly. Would he try and stop her? Would he even care? Did he even think about her or, God forbid, love her?

Love her like she still loved him?