All Or Nothing

Chapter Six.

Luna felt like she should be committed to St. Mungo's. She couldn't believe the crazy, irrational thoughts she was having. She was sitting in Defense Against the Dark Arts, staring at her teacher, and wishing more than anything that she could get up and snog him in front of the whole class. Luna had feelings for Neville Longbottom.

It was hard to pinpoint exactly when it had started. Over the past three months they had forged a nice camaraderie with each other, and Luna felt herself more and more attracted to him. She admired his spirit, and courage. She liked how he said many interesting things, and listened to everything she had to say. She was grateful for her friendship with Ginny, but it was her's and Neville's that she really valued. And she knew that he felt the same way as well; sometimes, when their conversations turned to the more serious side, he bared his heart on the table in a way she knew he had never done with anyone else before.

What felt so weird is that she had known him for years, and had never gotten to really know him before. There had only ever been room for one serious relationship in her life (if it could really be called an actual relationship), and Draco had selfishly taken up that spot. And having a lot of time to put things into perspective over the summer, Luna realized that what they had wasn't healthy or natural. The only way they could be friends was in a secret room under the cover of night? Sure, it might've been the most real thing she ever did or would have because there were no barriers or illusions, but it was also probably the most destructive. All they had was each other, and when neither was willing to change, it shattered their worlds. Or at least, it shattered her world. And Luna vowed that she would never be so dependent or feel that way about one person again.

And with Neville it was different. It felt fresh and exciting, good and sincere. And the fact that he was her teacher made it just a little taboo at the same time. The thought of it thrilled her. So yeah, daydreaming about her professor might've been a little silly, but not taking this chance to start anew would be even sillier.

"Miss Lovegood?" Neville was trying to get her attention and several students in the class was looking at her. Luna didn't care much.

"Sorry professor. What was the question?"

He shook his head in a disappointment that Luna suspected was feigned. "See me after class and we'll discuss it."

He continued on with the rest of the class and Luna hid a smirk. He obviously wanted to see her alone, and she was more than happy to oblige.

"That was very wrong of you to daydream in class, Miss Lovegood," Neville scolded after the class was dismissed and it was just the two of them left in the classroom together.

"I'm very sorry, professor," she said and bowed her head in mock obedience. "Will you have to punish me?"

"I know you'd love nothing better," he said with a twinkle in his eye that she adored. "But I have a different idea."

"What?" She was confused now. She knew before that they were just teasing, but he sounded more serious now.

"Spend Christmas with me," he said simply without any awkwardness or preamble like the old Neville would have done.

To be honest, it more than took her by surprise. "At your house?"

"Well I was thinking at Hagrid's house, actually."

"Er..."

His face lit up with laughter. "Of course at my house! Though not with my grandmother, since we haven't been on speaking terms lately. But I share a house with my older cousin, and he'll be there part of the time with his wife and daughter. And while they'll be away visiting her parents and I'll be alone, I thought it would be nice to have some company. I know it may not exactly be allowed, but just a few months ago we were classmates and as long as nobody finds out, it shouldn't be a big deal."

"Wow." It was taking her a moment to digest all of what he said.

"I'm sorry I sprung this on you like that. I'll understand if you have other plans, or if you feel uncomfortable staying with me. Though I promise not to take advantage of you or anything like that." His face reddened at that and Luna could tell he hadn't meant to say all of that.

"Well, as far as other plans go, I had only planned to stay at Grimmauld Place with Ginny and her family for a joint Christmas and low-key celebration for Harry, Ron and Hermione's return - "

"Yeah, I had been planning on stopping in on that for a little while too."

"-but I've always preferred a quieter Christmas myself."

"Are you saying yes?" Neville looked anxious and Luna felt a little superficial and disgusted at herself for the pleasure she got from holding somebody else's happiness in her hands.

"I'm absolutely saying yes!"

"I'm glad, because my heart would have broken if you had said no." He scooped her into a hug and she couldn't help but giggle like the silly girl that she felt. She wasn't even so sure if it was a bad thing.

"I should warn you though," she said. "If anyone's in any danger of being taken advantage of, it definitely won't be me."

"I have a feeling you're right," he smirked.

And for the second time in her life, Luna Lovegood was kissed by somebody who held her heart in their hands.

***

The house they were staying in was a charming little English cottage in a small Muggle town. The house belong to both Neville and his cousin Winston, passed down from their grandfather. Luna loved the house and she liked staying in it. The days leading up to Christmas were very enjoyable. They sang carols around the neighbourhood, picked out and decorated the tree, and attended a nativity play at the local church. She was never a religious person, and didn't think she ever would be, but she appreciated it all the same.

On Christmas morning she woke up with a smile on her face. It was the first time they actually had the house to themselves. Various relatives had been stopping in and since they arrived, but now they were all back in their homes. Winston and his wife Victoria and their four-year-old daughter Elizabeth (who was quite adorable) were staying at her parents house for the remainder of the holiday, and then return to their flat in London after Boxing Day. Luna and Neville would visit the Weasley's later in the day along with his parents (he had confided in her about Mr and Mrs Longbottom, and while it almost broke her heart when he told her, she appreciated that he trusted her enough to tell her. She was more than a little ashamed that she felt relief that her mother was dead and not living a half-life.) her own dad tomorrow, but for now they were all alone.

Luna wrapped her dressing gown around her body and left out of the guest room. Neville's room was just down the hall on the opposite side. Attending boarding school for seven years had should have hardly made sleeping in the near vicinity of boys an awkward thing, and yet it slightly was. It was different because she knew that what lay between them was bordering on crossing over from the platonic side. All they needed was one more push...

"Neville!" She burst his door open without any apology and leaped on top of the lumpy bundle of blankets on the bed.

"Ah!"

"Wake up! It's Christmas day, don't you know?"

"I know that very well, thank you," he grumbled. He sat up with his hair sticking up all over the place and his clothes rumpled. Luna thought he looked very cute.

"Then let's go!" She impatiently grabbed his hand and tugged him out of bed and downstairs. The excitement of Christmas day had definitely gotten to her. In all actuality, there was only one gift for them each under the tree for them. They had already received some gifts, and had more to get, but for now all they had each other's gift. That was just fine to Luna.

"Merry Christmas," Neville said as he handed her his gift. She tossed hers over to him.

She unwrapped her gift and her eyes widened. It was a moving statue of a red and black Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

"You like it?" he said to her.

Luna went over to him and hugged him. "I really do. What about you."

"How did you know?"

"A Golded-Winged Trountain might have told me." Luna had gotten him The Rarest Plants in the World because of something Professor Sprout had mentioned in passing, and she knew he would undoubtedly want it. It was the newest edition and she guessed that he probably didn't have it yet.

Neville raised one eyebrow. "Right."

Luna caressed his cheek. "Thank you for inviting me."

Neville gave her a petal-soft kiss on the mouth. "Thank you for coming. You've really brightened up my Christmas."

"Ditto."