Slightly Off-Kilter

Dinner was uneventful and Gayle actually held a decent conversation for a good part of an hour. Of course, Severus was pretty sure Fawkes, the pet phoenix of Albus', didn't really care about the explosive properties of wands shooting red sparks onto nitro glycerin but that was neither here nor there. She was out of the way for Albus and Severus to discuss other more sane ideals.

Severus tucked her into sleep on the trundle bed he'd had brought to his rooms upon her arrival earlier in the month and kept depositing her back onto the bed through out the night, per their usual routine. Eventually, at around five in the morning he gave up and let her curl up next to him and snore loudly in his ear.

It was such an endearing bullhorn of a snore.

It was good thing he didn't sleep much anyway.

When Gayle arose later in the morning, Severus had already eaten breakfast, washed up, deposited laundry in the basket for the house elves to collect later and cleaned up the chambers. He set out clothes, wanting her to at least make a good impression on the newly arriving Order of the Phoenix members.

"Um, Gayle?" he asked hesitantly. Neither he nor Albus had gotten around to convincing her that she'd make a better blonde than the purple haired minx she was now. "May I ask you something?"

"Yes, Severus?" she asked, twirling his wand like a short baton and causing it to emit yellow sparks of protest.

"Have you ever thought of being a blonde?"

Gayle tipped her head to one side consideringly. "Nope."

Severus' heart sank. "You don't want to be a blonde? I think you'd make a lovely blonde," he wheedled.

"Okay!" she chirped at him and tossed him the wand. He caught it awkwardly, trying to follow her train of thought.

"But you said no..." His voice trailed off when she gave him a mockingly stern look.

"No, you asked if I'd ever thought about being a blonde, not if I wanted to be a blonde," she informed him. "Transform me! I wish to be Bacall, Monroe, Welch...oh wait she was a redhead. Make me into Garbo...was she a brunette? Ah to hell with it, make me Harlow."

Severus stared at her, not having the slightest idea what she was talking about. "W-what? Who?"

"Hollywood! Make me a glamour puss, stupid!" Gayle railed at him and stomped off for the bedroom. "I'll slip into something more appropriate."

"Oh no you don't!" he cried out, stalking after her and pulling her back into the living area. "Minerva has kindly consented to help you change your hair color. Don't forget the eyebrows, please?" he begged her.

Gayle grinned at him impishly. "Okay!" she chirped once more and began bouncing around him.

"Severus?" called McGonagall from the door to his chambers. "Is she ready?"

"YES!" shouted Gayle exuberantly and dodged from Severus' reach like a lightening bolt. She jerked the door open and grinned up at Minerva's startled visage. "Make me a star!" she cried dramatically, making a dramatic, silent film star poise.

Minerva smiled tightly. "Very well, what color did we decide upon?"

"Pea green!" Minerva's face turned exactly that shade.

"Blonde, make her a blonde and don't forget the eyebrows," Severus informed the Transfiguration teacher.

Gayle grinned slyly up at him. "How about other areas..."

Minerva grabbed Gayle's hand and pushed her in front as she moved down the corridor. "We shall see you in the front hall in an hour, Severus!"

"Bye, Severus!" Gayle shouted over Minerva.

"BEHAVE!" Severus shouted back and then sagged against the door in relief when they rounded the corner. Footsteps followed by Minerva's cry of dismay alerted Severus that Gayle was on her way back. He straightened up fast enough to catch Gayle as she bounded into his arms.

"I forgot my bear," she informed him solemnly. "He must, of course, approve all changes."

Giving in, knowing he'd lose anyway, Severus carried her to the bedroom, shoved the bear into her arms and dropped her into the hallway. He pointed toward a gaping McGonagall and said harshly, "Go!"

Gayle stuck her tongue out at him and loped back to McGonagall. The two women disappeared around the corner.

"You'd make a great father," commented Moody from down the hall where he'd been watching the antics of the crazy woman from his own doorway.

"Get. Stuffed." Severus slammed his door hard enough the torches rattled in their casings.

Moody only chuckled.

Remus Lupin watched with no little bemusement as Severus Snape paced the foyer of the castle like an expectant father awaiting the birth of his child. He had no idea what Severus was waiting for but it was bound to be amusing and for that reason alone he stuck around. At his side, panting and looking bored, was Snuffles, who in actuality was Sirius Black in animagus form.

"Severus, are we waiting on someone who is late?" asked Remus, watching as Snape made a sharp spin and marched back in their direction.

"Yes," the lanky, dark-haired man snapped in irritation.

"I see." Remus nodded and grinned down at the black dog, who returned the look with one that succinctly said "What the hell are we doing here?"

"What is taking Minerva so long?" groaned Severus, glancing at the hall clock ticking ominously by the door leading to the Great Hall where everyone was assembling.

Minerva's head poked around the corner slightly up the stairs of the foyer. "Severus? We're ready. Big entrance, make a fuss."

He sighed heavily, making both Remus and Snuffles look at each other in surprise. "Very well, let's get this over with."

Minerva's head disappeared and was replaced by a voice. "I don't want to go out there, he'll laugh at me!"

"Nonsense, if he didn't laugh at you with purple hair he won't laugh now," McGonagall's exasperated voice told her.

"But-"

"Will you just go, we're late for the meeting!" A gorgeous brunette was thrust into view and Severus' jaw dropped in shock. He vaguely heard Remus' whistle of appreciation and Snuffles' agreeing woof.

She'd changed clothing. She wore a tight-fitting black jumpsuit and her dark green robes were open in the front to show it off. Boots that came up to the thighs encased her legs in a tight fit and her chocolate brown eyes glittered worriedly down at him. Her hair, naturally a dark brown was once again it's normal shade but the sunlight and torch lamps caught highlights of gold here and there.

The effect was stunning and Severus felt it all the way to his toes. He swallowed with some difficulty and managed a wan smile of approval. "Very nice, my dear," he choked.

The worried expression was wiped from Gayle's face to be replaced by one of utter delight. With a high-pitched squeak she launched herself the rest of the way down the stairs, screeching to a halt immediately in front of the still dumbfounded men, where she executed a perfect curtsy. "Enchante," she cooed at Severus and then peered over his shoulder at Remus.

"Gayle?" Remus stammered in disbelief. Sirius shifted into his human form, clean cut, hair trimmed nicely and finally looking well-fed. His mouth was hanging open and he was breathing heavily.

Gayle sashayed over to Remus and gave him a sisterly peck on the cheek. "Dahling," she drawled in Garboesque tones, "it is wonderful to see you again." Her voice was throaty, husky. Remus grinned like a schoolboy.

"Gayle? How have you been?" Sirius clamoured for equal attention.

"Off my conk, how was Azkaban?" she responded brightly, doing a one-eighty from drama queen to bubbly bimbo. Both men blinked and took a step back.

"Uh -" Sirius looked over to Severus, who was grinning evilly at him.

"That's my girl." Severus took Gayle's arm, linked it through his, patted her on the head as if she were a dog and escorted her inside the Great Hall.

"Did I miss something?" asked Sirius in total confusion.

"Yeah, she was put in St. Mungo's about four months after you went into Azakaban. Like you they shut her in and threw away the key," Remus explained, turning around to watch Gayle chat gaily with other members of the Order and the Hogwarts staff. "Or so I thought."

"My friend, don't think," advised Sirius, still spellbound by the gorgeous, slightly loopy brunette holding onto Severus Snape's arm as if he were a prize. "It only gets us in trouble."