By the Numbers

I hate all manner of slimy and smelly things, and thus have always thought it a great misfortune to be born into a family of apothecaries. Sure, I know the difference between fluxweed and gillyweed, and how to juice a leech (which, by the way, is as disgusting as it sounds), but I could never love these things as my father does. Luckily, he is content with me just helping in the shop during the summer holidays. July and August are the longest two months of the year. Don't get me wrong: I love spending time with my Dad, and I really don't mind doing the books for the store, but actually scooping out quantities of rat spleen and puffer-fish eyes...ugh.

On the other hand, working in the shop during the summer gave me the opportunity to meet most of my students outside of school before I actually had them in a class (even if they only were buying school supplies). I teach Arithmancy at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a subject which the students don't start to study until their third year. I liked already knowing their names before they attend my classes. A name tells almost everything you need to know about a person. That is, after all, the purpose of Arithmancy.

The summer before I would begin my fourth year of teaching at Hogwarts was coming to an end and I couldn't wait. I was trying to deal with the aftermath of a collision between Neville Longbottom and a box of erumpent horns. The resulting explosion took out a nearby tank of live caterpillars. Neville's clumsy attempts to help save the caterpillars ended in an overturned basket of nettles and a rash when I unthinkingly picked them up with my bare hands. I had finally managed to reassure Neville that the blisters would heal in no time once I applied some anti-itch potion and of course, the caterpillars would be fine, when the bell over the door announced another customer. Neville was so terrified by who walked in that he fell over backwards into a barrel of jobberknoll feathers. I nearly started to cry as the feathers floated to the floor and started to stick to the few remaining caterpillars that hadn't yet made it into hiding under the shelves. I hate retail.

"I see Longbottom has been here for longer than five minutes," said a rather nasty voice from the direction of the door. "You should stop him now before he causes any lasting damage. I've always liked the selection of mortars and pestles available in this shop."

Neville's terror of Severus Snape, professor of Potions, was well known by everyone at Hogwarts. His eyes grew round and he squeaked out something about needing to meet his Grandmother before fleeing from the scene.

"You enjoy frightening that boy entirely too much, Severus. It's not normal." I winced as I picked up my wand with swollen fingers.

"Accio prurigo." The bottle of itch-relieving potion flew into his hand before I even had a proper grip on my wand. "Come here." He poured some of the potion over my hands as I held them over the basin next to the counter.

"Thanks." I flexed my fingers. "What brings you to London? Was there a problem with your supply order? I thought we sent the last of it by post last week."

"You did. I just wanted to pick up some of the more volatile ingredients myself. Do you have any more erumpent horn, or did Longbottom destroy the entire stock?"

Now that my hands weren't covered in painful blisters anymore, and Neville wasn't there to have his feelings hurt, I could laugh. "No, just the one box."

"Then I'll take two boxes. I'm teaching the fifth years exploding potions this term." He scowled. "I hope the dungeon survives. I shudder think to what purpose the Weasley twins will 'modify' the theory on this project."

"Hogwarts' account?" He nodded, as I put an anti-breakage charm on the bag containing his boxes. "You know, Severus, I could have brought these with me. You could have just sent an owl. Why did you really come all this way?"

He signed the school credit slip and handed it back to me. " I just couldn't wait two more days to see you. I missed you."

My face went hot instantly, "Erm, Severus, er, I don't have those kinds of feelings for you. I thought we agreed on that a long time ago. I think you're very, erm, nice, and, I, uh, I...I..."

The git was actually smiling. "I'm joking, Anna. I assure you that I am in no way nursing an unrequited love for you. Although you are quite attractive when you get all red like that. It's very Gryffindor of you."

"That's why it never would have worked out for us." I said coldly. "I have a sense of humor. You are just cruel."

"Maybe that's the real difference between Slytherins and Gryffindors," he mused. "Only a Gryffindor would think that I have been secretly pining for her all this time and try to let me down gently."

"And only a Slytherin would find concern for a person's feelings funny." Now I was annoyed with him for baiting me, but more so with myself for biting. "Did you just come here to irritate me, or is there anything else I can help you with?" I went back to cleaning up the mess left by Neville's accident and found his school booklist amongst the rubble. His grandmother was not going to be happy with him for losing it; the poor kid never could catch a break.

"Actually, I have a rather unusual order, and I would rather not go though my usual, independent sources." I knew he really meant, 'Dark wizards, selling mainly illegal items', but didn't press. "I was hoping to speak to Victor."

"Dad's not here. He went to Romania to pick up dragon's blood. He's the only one around here with a license to buy it at wholesale quantities. Although I'm sure little details like proper licenses don't mean a lot to you." As if that would hurt him. I knew he didn't care one bit about his reputation, but it's all I had. I am not quick with the witty banter.

I suppose he had decided that his fun for the day was over. I never have understood his sense of humor (for lack of a better term). He handed me a parchment with a long list of potion ingredients, some rather exotic, some unusual only in the quantities that he was requesting.

"What on earth are you going to do with seven bushels of aconite?" That really is an obscene amount of an expensive plant.

"Perhaps I should wait until your father returns to place my order? I am used to a certain amount of discretion." Back to the usual Professor Snape that the students knew and despised.

"Don't be condescending, Severus. I'm just curious. You don't have to..."

"Oh, bloody hell!" He was looking out the window behind me. "Potter's on his way in here. I'd rather not have to deal with another student today, especially him. If you'll have all that delivered as soon as possible." He didn't even wait for me to answer, but Disapparated at the same instant the entry bell tinkled again.

"Hi, Harry. Did you forget some supplies, or are you going to buy those phials with the dragon-tooth stoppers I saw you looking at the other day?"

*****

The following days passed in much the same way. The ends of holidays are always the busiest, as students scramble for everything on their school lists. It was with a great sense of relief that I packed my trunk and prepared to Floo to Hogsmeade, where I would catch a carriage to Hogwarts. It's much easier that way than to Apparate when one has baggage.

"Hello, Love." My father was in the doorway watching me fold the last of my robes into the truck. "Almost ready to go?"

"Yes, nearly. Come to help me latch the trunk?" I closed the lid and sat down on the trunk. Dad came over and fastened the buckles. I could have closed it on my own, but this was something of a tradition. My mother had not been as efficient at packing as I, and I had loved to help Dad fasten her trunk for her. I smiled as I remembered bouncing on the lids of her overfilled suitcases while Dad struggled with the clasps. He was remembering, too. His smile was sad, as he kissed me on the top of my head and sat beside me on my trunk, which had been one of Mum's favorites.

"I'll miss you, Pet." He put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a little squeeze. "And not just in the shop, you know."

"I know, Dad. But I'll be home for Christmas holiday before you know it." I would not cry. If I did, then so would he, and I just couldn't bear that. "I'll send loads of owls, and you have Geoffrey and Mina to keep you company." Geoffrey was his apprentice, who had just started in the shop the week before and would be staying at the house. Mina, the house elf, had been with my parents since before I was born. Dad was teaching her to play chess and she was surprisingly good at it.

"Still, Darling, I like having you around. I miss your smile when you're not here. You remind me so much of your mother." Nearly fifteen years hadn't done much to dull that pain for either of us. "You don't have to teach, you know. The shop is yours, whenever you want it."

"I have to go, Dad. The staff meeting is at two o'clock and I don't want to be late." I was not being drawn into the debate over why I didn't want to be an apothecary like him. He just couldn't believe that I liked teaching, as much as I did. I liked the way the kids' faces looked when they suddenly would understand a difficult concept, or came up with some theory that they thought was theirs alone. Somehow, I'd managed to avoid the topic for most of the summer, and we'd only had one row about it. Now was not the time to get into it again.

"So, you really are happy there?" We both stood up, and I charmed my things to be easier to manage. "You don't miss home at all?"

He looked so forlorn; I almost said I would stay. Almost. Family guilt can be an amazing thing. Nothing else would even make me consider working in the shop on a permanent basis. He was manipulating me, even if he didn't realize it and as much as I wanted to avoid hurting his feelings, that made me angry. "I love my job, Dad. I won't leave it. I feel at home in a classroom just as much as you do surrounded by beakers and vials and magical bits of animals. The apothecary shop is your calling, not mine. It smells dreadful, and I don't enjoy taking inventory of insect parts. I love you, and so I love it in a strange way, but Dad, I will never want it to be my whole life. Please don't ask me again. I don't like to hurt your feelings, and this conversation never ends any other way."

I had hurt him, and just like he had made me, that made him angry. Why, oh why can I never stop talking when I get going? I must have developed it to fill the silences my father can be so good at.

"Well," he said as he handed me a packet of Floo powder. "Enjoy your term then."

I didn't know what to say, so I took out a handful of Floo powder and turned to the fireplace anyway, although I didn't want to leave like that.

"Oh, Anna, wait," he called. I turned back, hoping he had finally accepted my decision. He was holding out a small box for me to take. "I almost forgot. This is the last of Severus' order. I owled him, that you would bring it. You could be married to him by now; if you didn't always look for something wrong with every single man you ever go out with. If you're not careful, you'll end up like Cassandra Vablatsky. She's been seen with every wizard in London. Of course, she is a celebrity. I suppose the rules are different for that sort. You, on the other hand, need to be more practical. A man with a proper appreciation for potions, Severus. You could do worse that that, dear."

I really had heard enough. "Bye, Dad. I'll see you at Christmas." I pecked him on the cheek and tossed the Floo powder onto the fire. I stepped into the flames. "Hogsmeade Station!"

Married to Severus Snape! Honestly...

*****

All I could think of during the entire carriage ride from the station to Hogwarts and through a good part of the staff meeting were my father's last few comments. Did he think I was in danger of becoming an old maid? He thought I should have married Severus! I only ever went out with him because my Dad was so fond of him. I had just started teaching at Hogwarts at the time, and I didn't know anyone else nearby. I knew him from his frequent visits to the shop ever since we both in school, but that was the extent of it. We both knew right away that we would have made a horrible couple. There was no romantic chemistry between us at all, and the only thing we had in common was that we taught at the same school. The fact that we remained friendly (or as friendly as Severus gets with anyone) only encouraged my father in the hope that we would get together in the end.

Or was Dad more concerned about my reputation? I did seem to always find some flaw in any man I went out with. Not that there had been all that many, were there? He must think so, having compared me to Cassie. She had a new man every time I saw her. Next to her, I was a veritable nun.

I started running through an inventory of the men in my life. When I was a second year, I had had a mad crush on an older boy in my House, to whom I never actually spoke. The first boy I ever went on a date with was Jacob Winter in my fifth year. We went to the Hogsmeade Dragon Races together. He was my first kiss. It was very awkward and slobbery and so traumatic, that I didn't accept another date for two years.

A few years later came Michael. I thought we were wonderful together and would live happily ever after, even if he were a bit older. He thought I was a nice bit of fun he could have on the side while married to a wealthy witch whose enormous Gringotts account allowed him to spend all of his time (and her money) betting on Quidditch matches and romancing naïve young girls. I was with him for nearly two years before I found out I wasn't the love of his life and that he had been using me the whole time.

And then there was Anthony. He seemed to be my perfect match. He worked for the Investments area of Gringotts, and was smart and kind and very funny. We liked to go dancing and to watch the same romantic Muggle movies. We were compatible in almost every way. Unfortunately, we had a bit too much in common and after four years, he left me for an Irish Quidditch player named Aidan.

"...werewolf." The headmaster finally got my full attention. "Professor Snape will provide Professor Lupin with the Wolfsbane potion, which will allow him to remain in control of himself during his monthly transformations. I assure you all that every precaution has been taken, and there should be no danger to any of ou or to the students."

So that was the reason Severus wanted all that aconite! It's also known as wolfsbane and obviously a major ingredient in Wolfsbane potion. So, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was a werewolf. How ironic. Lupin...the name seemed familiar to me.

Professor Dumbledore's voice cut sharply though the murmurs running though the room. "Remus Lupin is a highly qualified wizard, and a valuable asset. Please treat him as you would any new addition to the staff." An owl glided though the window and headed directly towards Dumbledore. His mouth thinned as he scanned the parchment. "It seems there has been an incident involving Dementors boarding the Hogwarts Express. The train should be arriving at the station shortly. I must contact the Ministry at once. I will not allow this infringement upon our agreement." He stalked out of the staff room, making me glad I had never been the object of Albus Dumbledore's wrath.

I had only been partly listening earlier, but I did recall something about Dementors protecting the school from the escaped convict Sirius Black. Black's unprecedented escape from Azkaban had been the major topic of conversation in Diagon Alley for weeks. I was concerned about Dementors being so near the students, but I fully trusted the headmaster's ability to control the situation. I suddenly remembered a book that I had borrowed over the holiday. I had fully intended to return it before Irma Pince noticed it was missing and came after me. I decided to take advantage of the early adjournment of the staff meeting, and the buzz about the "situation."

"Miss Vector." Minerva McGonagall stopped me before I got to the staff room door. "I need to speak with you about one of your third years, Hermione Granger. She is an extraordinary student, and wishes to take more than the usual load of classes. I am willing to give her the opportunity, but we must make some accommodations for such an unusual schedule."

I looked at the course schedule she handed me. "But how is she going to-"

"I have made arrangements for her to have a Time-turner, strictly to be used for educational purposes. I am going to trust Miss Granger to be responsible with it. I am informing only the teachers of the classes affected by this unusual schedule so that you may be aware of this student's special circumstances. Please keep it to yourself. As I am sure you are aware, the use of time travel devices is strictly controlled, and it would not do for the information to become common knowledge."

"Of course." My mind immediately began to work on the equations that make time travel possible, as Minerva caught the eye of Sybill Trelawney and took a steadying breath to fortify herself for an attempt at a serious conversation with her. (Sybill can be rather trying.) I went to fetch the library book from my room. I probably had just enough time before the start of term feast to get it into the library before Irma knew I had kept it all summer. I wondered if the library had any advanced books about time travel theory as I'd never studied it in depth before, but thought the mathematics were intriguing. If x2=x1 and y2=y1...

*****

I was still working out the physics that would allow Miss Granger to be in three classes at the same time. Time travel is just the sort of complication that makes my theory about everything in the universe being the sum of a specific equation just that much more interesting. I obviously didn't see the man coming around the corner, or I would have avoided crashing into him and landing in a most undignified position on the cold stone floor. Violently jarred from my calculations, I looked up at a vaguely familiar face. I was still grasping to match the face to the name that I was sure I knew, when his voice finally broke though.

"Miss? Are you all right? Miss?"

"Fine, I'm fine. How are you?" I finally managed to stammer. I wondered how long I had been gaping at him like an idiot. It had been quite some time, judging by his face, where concern for my sanity seemed to be fighting the urge to laugh.

"I'm quite well, thank you." His innate courtesy appeared to have taken over. I finally noticed the hand he had extended to help me up off the floor, and reached to take it.

"I'm Remus Lupin, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." The name and the face finally clicked into place as I stood up.

"Oh!" Startled, I let go of his hand and saw a shadow immediately cross his face. "Anna Vector. Arithmancy." It occurred to me that he probably thought I was alarmed by the werewolf thing, in addition to being a clumsy git who couldn't string together a sentence. I probably would have embarrassed myself less if that had been my problem. "It's not every day you find out that the boy you had a crush on when you were twelve is going to be working with you."

This time, he did laugh. "You had a crush on me when you were twelve? How old was I?"

"Seventeen, I think. You probably don't even remember me. I was a second year when you were a seventh year. My best friend liked your friend Peter. She thought he was cute but I was in love with you because you were so smart and seemed so nice and." I don't know why I went on, but I kept on going with the list. I'm sure our faces were near identical shades of red by the time I finally managed to shut up. Professor Lupin was blushing all the way to the tips of his ears, and my face was feeling very warm. I concentrated on brushing the one tiny speck of dust off my robe.

After an eternity of silence (possibly as long as thirty seconds), I couldn't take it anymore. "My cousin has a pen friend in Romania who's a werewolf." Honestly! I don't know why my mouth never asks my brain for any advice before spitting out this sort of nonsense. "I think they are planning to meet at the Quidditch World Cup next summer. He sounds like a nice enough boy." I stopped to take a breath.

He raised an eyebrow, and smiled. "Professor Vector? I think we're running late for the welcoming feast. I'm starving. Could we continue this conversation over supper?"

*****

We entered the Great Hall just as the Sorting Ceremony was getting underway. I could see several of the students' heads swivel to watch us take the two remaining empty chairs at the staff table, which were of course next to each other. The way rumors flew around Hogwarts, I was sure that by breakfast, the students would have Lupin and I involved in a torrid affair. (I didn't even consider taking Minerva's still empty chair. She must have been meeting with Hermione Granger.)

"RAVENCLAW!" the Sorting Hat pronounced the final first year in the line. Professor Flitwick took the stool and hat out of the Hall, as Minerva McGonagall took her seat and Dumbledore rose to address the school.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!" I watched the students as the headmaster very seriously warned the students about the Dementors at the entrance to the school grounds. Most of them looked rather worried, and I couldn't blame them in the least. I used to have nightmares about Dementors when I was a child, and was not looking forward to passing them to get into Hogsmeade. Maybe I just wouldn't go into the village for a while. I saw Percy Weasley puff up a bit, as Dumbledore called upon the prefects and the new Head Boy and Girl to help keep the students out of the path of the Dementors. Percy was a good, diligent student, but not nearly as much fun as most of his brothers. I was always hearing about the twins' pranks from the other teachers. (Arithmancy being far too serious a subject for them to show an interest in, I supposed.) Bill had been in my year in school, and he and Charlie had always been up to some sort of highly amusing trouble. I hadn't heard from either of them in a long while. Of course, Percy was the only Weasley I was likely to have as a student, unless young Ginny signed up for my classes next year.

I joined in the polite, but really quite unenthusiastic, applause welcoming Professor Lupin to his post. He did look a bit the worse for wear, now that I could look at him without squirming from embarrassment. I noticed his patched robes out of the corner of my eye and decided not to describe him in too much detail in the owl I would send later to Cassie. She would be appalled that I found a man with such little fashion sense even remotely attractive. Not that I was thinking of him in that manner at all, of course.

The entire Hall exploded with cheers and applause as Hagrid was pronounced the new Care of Magical Creatures teacher. He turned bright red, and his smile could have lit up the entire castle. I knew how much this meant to him, and was very happy for him. Hagrid is one of the nicest people I've ever known, and nobody knows more about magical creatures. I only hoped that he would concentrate his lessons on the less dangerous ones, rather than the occasionally vicious ones with which he was so fascinated.

As the food magically appeared on the plates, I was suddenly famished. I realized I hadn't eaten a thing since breakfast. I reached for the platter of chicken, and promptly poked Lupin in the hand with my fork.

"I am so sorry!" Yet again, I was mortified.

"Quite all right. Didn't even break the skin. See?" He showed me his hand, the fork marks clear, but no blood, thank heavens. "Although I am beginning to wonder if you are trying to do away with me."

"No, I'm just clumsy." I picked up a nice, safe piece of bread. "Can't hurt anyone with this, right? Unless I choke on it myself."

"I wouldn't want that to happen." he grinned at me and handed me the potatoes. "This is the most interesting conversation I've had in months."

*****

Once I had gotten over the utter embarrassment of the first part of our acquaintance, I was remarkably at ease with him. He just seemed to have a way of making things, well, easy. I had a feeling that the students were going to love him. He told me about teaching in a Muggle school, which he had been doing for several years, and about his summer studying wild werewolves on the Continent. I shared some of the more amusing aspects of life at an apothecary shop. The meal was over much too quickly, but I was tired, and Remus looked about to fall asleep in his pumpkin tart.

Remus and I bid each other good night at the second floor landing. I watched him continue down the hall for a moment, thinking about the last few hours. It was hard to believe we had only known each other such a short time; I felt as though we had been friends for years.

I turned around, and nearly screamed. Severus was standing right behind me, staring at Remus' retreating figure with such a look of hatred, I was surprised Remus wasn't knocked over by the force of it.

"Careful, Severus, or your face might freeze like that," I said lightly. I flinched a little when he turned his eyes on me.

"You want to be careful of him, Anna. You don't know what he is capable of." His voice was colder than I had ever heard it.

"You should be the last person to give anyone a lecture on what to be careful of, Severus." Even though I had to suppress a shudder at the tone of his voice, I was not going to let him treat me as if I needed or wanted his protection.

It seemed that I had finally gotten to him. It was the first time I had ever seen him look even remotely bothered by anything anyone had ever said to him. "I do have a bit more experience in these matters; however, if you choose to ignore the warning signs I cannot be responsible for the outcome." He turned away.

"I am not your responsibility, Severus!" He ignored me completely as he continued down the stairs. It was just like Severus to ruin a lovely evening. I went up to bed, trying to recapture my good mood. Maybe I'd read some of the time travel theory I'd found in the library. Some nice, long equations should help me relax.