Owl Eyes

Owl Eyes

Chapter Thirteen

Souls Lost

Empty bodies without hope

Here love has died

Inside

The vessels whole or broken

It matters not

Where has the freedom gone

Death has escaped them

It's grasp open

Unclenched

Souls shall feed the darkness

There is no turning back

No undoing

No revival

Now only survival

A bitter life

The world gone cold

For the souls

We could not hold

Might love free them

Might peace reign again

For I cannot except

The dying of souls

And this way

The story must not end

Severus sat in the hospital wing perched on the bed of one Harry potter. His arm was wrapped in a sling and he rested it in his lap as he stared openly at the sleeping boy. The boy's face and left arm were badly burned. Madam Pomfrey had done what she could, but the child would remain scarred, disfigured. How would the golden boy take it? He had only woken briefly, according to Pomfrey, and even then hadn't really asked about his condition. Severus had brewed him an extra strong healing potion for burns, despite the Professor's injured arm. Severus's ligaments and bones were a mess and the healing process would take a few days. The Hogwarts' Healer had wanted to keep the arm immobilized, but it hadn't stopped Severus. He had asked the Granger girl to aid him with the ingredient preparation. She was more than happy to oblige. Somehow she had escaped with only a few scratches. The Weasley boy was an entirely different story. He had nearly been paralyzed and Pomfrey was still working on him. There was great improvement and Severus wasn't really concerned with the boy. He wondered more if Potter would survive this latest event and if so, how?

"How is he, Severus?" the Headmaster asked as he approached from behind.

"As well as can be expected, I suppose. It is time for his potion application again in a half hour."

"You are doing these yourself?"

"Every two hours."

"You need to get some rest as well."

"I am fine. The boy needs to recover. The disfigurement will be severe enough. We need not impact it by our carelessness or laziness.""

Surely Madam Pomfrey could-"

"It is a new potion. I am studying its effects. It might be dangerous. Perhaps the boy would not want it applied to his skin if he were awake."

"That, I do not know. The matter is of little importance though. He is in no state to make a decision now."

"What of those who have gotten kissed, Albus?"

"Many are so young. They have not signed Soul Saving Contracts which were once so common. It has been many years since we needed such a thing. Once the Dementors ran wild. This was when I was a boy. We had the contracts then. Everyone signed them and signed for their children too. I'm afraid the practice has been lost."

"They are destined to live out life in their current states?"

"I am afraid so, unless we can change the law, but that might take many years."

"The hospital will be full by the time the war ends and-"

"There is nothing we can do, Severus."

"He must be stopped. That is the only answer. I had no information of this attack. I feel as if I am losing his favor. I don't know how to regain it. I don't know how to keep them safe, the four of them. The girl looked shaken. I don't know how to train her to fight."

"Severus, I know it all weighs heavy on your heart, however there is little more that we can do."

"We must do more than wait, Albus. If we stand aside it will be to late."

"For some, yes. We cannot save them all. I have faith in the boy though," Dumbledore looked at the wounded form of Harry Potter in the hospital bed. The youth's burnt, reddened face was a great contrast against the white of the crisp sheets. "We must buy him time. It is our only choice, Severus. We can do little more than that."

Albus rose and left the hospital wing quietly but not without glancing about him at the injured students crowding the ward. Severus wondered if Albus understood the seriousness of the matter. The Dark Lord would strike again and it would be soon. He didn't want to wait for the boy to mature.

***

I sat in the Common Room trying to read my transfiguration text, but I could not concentrate on what I needed to take in. The words kept slipping into my ears, but I didn't notice them. Finally I ceased the reading spell and looked up at Hermione.

"Do you think the potion you and Snape made will work?"

"I don't know."

"Was it very difficult to brew?"

"Reasonably"

I had nothing else to say.

I thought about the lives lost. Four people had received the Dementors' kiss. Seven people had died. Ron's brother Percy had been among the dead. Ron didn't know yet. He was still trying to recover. Ginny, Ron's sister, had wailed at the top of her lungs when she had heard. Her brothers, Fred and George, had tried to comfort her. The room had been silent except for her screams and sobs. No one had words for her. Someone would have to tell Ron once he recovered.

Death almost seemed better than the Dementors' kiss though. Who wanted to live as a shell of a being? Who knew how long you'd live in that state. I wish I had stayed to help. Perhaps I would've done some small bit of good. Sometimes I tried to blame it all on my blindness. I felt guilty for being blind. Some days I just felt worthless. The truth was, that if I could receive enough training I could be a deadly weapon in a battle just as anyone else could, but with my ability to do wandless magic and control the elements, maybe even more so.

"What will happen to the people who got the Dementor's kiss?"

"Hospital I suppose," Hermione replied.

"Is there no way to free them?"

"I don't know, we learned about something in History of Magic, but-"

"Perhaps we could go to the library?"

"Alright."

I knew that getting Hermione focused on something would help her. She was worried about both Ron and Harry. The war wasn't going to get any easier. Perhaps I could teach her to push through the pain of things, or at least distract her from it.

We walked silently through the halls of Hogwarts. The dampness clutched at my clothes. Sometimes I missed being at home. The Muggle schools there weren't so cold. They weren't large enough to swallow a person up. They weren't like Hogwarts and they didn't carry its joy. It was the joy I was usually greatful for, but not today.

Once in the library, Hermione looked through the volumes that lined the crowded walls. She piled many before me and I began examining them. The papers turned between my fingers like whispers of hope dancing in the wind. Some of the tomes were crumbling with age. I turned the pages of these more carefully. Each page was a reminder of my own mortality. Some day I would be so changed by the passing of years that others would notice it. Or perhaps, I would become damaged like one book which had a hole burnt through several pages. This particular volume reminded me of Harry.

Finally we found the ancient contracts that had once been signed. We also discovered that current wizarding legislation in England and other neighboring countries did not allow for the signing of Soul Saving Contracts after one's death. I was discouraged by the news. It was depressing. I could no longer take the warm closeness of the library and its smell of old books. Usually I found the atmosphere comforting but not today. Not anymore.

"Let's visit Hagrid," Hermione suggested just then.

"Good idea. I need out of here," I replied.

It was raining lightly. The earth smelled new and was slightly moist and the grasses caressed my ankles. The birds did not sing and there was a slight wind so that the raindrops blew directly into my face. I cared not at all. Perhaps it was just to cleanse the land of its sorrow.

Hagrid's cabin was warm and smelled of some sort of stew or soup cooking. As soon as we entered he had pulled Hermione into a bone crushing hug. Fang bounded around the room. He bumped into my leg, coating me with slobber. I scrunched up my face in distaste. He was huge and the slobber which fell from his jowls in rope-like strands matched his size.

"Oh, Hagrid," Hermione said almost breaking down.

"I know, Hermione. 'arry and Ron'll be alright. Jus' you wait and see."

"Harry looks terrible and Ron hasn't woken up at all."

"Give it some time, Hermione. I'm worried too but there's nothin' yeh can do. I've just been trying to occupy myself 'round here. I can't hardly bear to look at 'em like tha'."

Hagrid hugged me a little less enthusiastically. He and Hermione were both sniffling. I remained quiet. I felt their pain but couldn't completely share it.

"Can I get yeh some tea?"

"Yes," Hermione replied. "Tea would be nice."

I nodded.

The fire, as large as it seemed, had dried the cabin quite thoroughly. It felt good to be in a dry place. The dampness soon left my robes and hair. I stood before the flames and warmed my hands, trying to make sure that I didn't get to close. I could nearly feel the flames licking at my fingers.

"This war is getting' brutal. Yeh never know when You-Know-Who will strike again. He's getting' bolder by the day."

"yeah," I replied.

"They'll get better. Just yeh two watch. It'll be okay."

"I hope so," Hermione said. She sounded defeated.

"Professor Snape made Harry a special potion for burns," I said, trying to lighten the subject.

"I helped," Hermione added, her tone more confident.

"Tha will help I'm sure. He's the best Potions' Master for miles 'round. Yeh can' find a better one than him."

Hagrid's reassurance seemed to warm the room.

I drained my tea cup, tipping back my head just slightly.

Hagrid reached across the table to refill it. The splashing sound of the tea falling into the cup was somehow comforting. I was becoming accustomed to the taste of tea and drinking it at all hours, on every occasion.

We sat in companionable silence. The fire crackling behind me was the only sound to be heard.

"I'll be getting' up to the castle soon to see 'arry and Ron. First I jus' have to check on them sideways crabs. They're getting' quite big now. Do yeh two wan' see 'em?"

"Sure," I said knowing that any amount of time spent out of the castle would be good for both Hermione and I.

The crabs were so large that they spilled out of my two handed grasp. Hagrid had gotten them fairly tame so they didn't offer to pinch me. I was grateful for that. They weren't exciting but they provided distraction enough.

After a few minutes we left Hagrid to tend to his odd pets. The rain had stopped, yet no birds sang. Perhaps they too were in mourning. Perhaps they had no words as I had none. Perhaps they had flown from this land, or wanted to. I didn't mention any of this to Hermione. She had enough musings of her own, of that I was sure.

"I'm going to the hospital wing," she said abruptly as the great doors of the castle closed behind us with a rush of air.

"I'll come," I said quietly. I hoped it was the right thing to do and wouldn't interrupt her peace or invade her privacy.

We walked in silence. I could hear other students passing though none spoke to us.

When we entered the hospital wing it was clear that Ron was awake. He was in no pain, but the movement of his extremities was severely limited. Dumbledore had been sent for and we were mostly quiet after voicing our greetings and asking after his current state of health.

Moments later Dumbledore entered. He was clearly recognizable by the scent of mint that always clung to him and by his quiet, almost unnoticeable, footsteps.

"I see that you are awake Mr. Weasley."

From what I could tell there was no response from Ron. Perhaps he had nodded.

"How is his progress coming, Madam Pomfrey?"

"Steady but slow," she replied.

"Good, good," the Headmaster said. "There is something we must discuss, Ron," he continued. He sounded older than usual.

"What's that?" Ron asked.

"We lost a few people in the attack on Hogsmeade, Ron. None were students, all fully trained wizards though two students, Cho Chang and Thomas Clous did receive the Dementors' kiss. It was most unfortunate."

"And Harry? What about him? Is he okay?"

"He will be fine. He is badly burned but he will certainly survive the attack."

Ron sighed audibly.

"It's Percy though, Ron," Hermione interupted.

"What happened to Percy?" Ron's voice nearly screeched with worry.

"He was killed, Ron. He was badly injured. There was nothing we could do to save him," Dumbledore explained.

"No!" Ron nearly screamed. "He can't-"

"I know it is difficult to understand, my boy. I know."

Ron was crying now. I wouldn't have thought him the crying type. Hermione had stepped forward and was comforting him. I slipped away and walked toward where I knew Harry's bed to be. I located the chair I had sat in before but someone was occupying it. I jerked my hand back reflexively.

"Miss Lee, it is nice to see that your ability to locate seating arrangements has improved." Professor Snape still sounded cold but he almost had a mocking tone to his voice as well. "Shall I conjure you a chair?"

"Please, sir, and I am sorry."

"No need," he replied dismissing my apology.

With a muttered spell and a whisper of his robes as his arm moved, a chair materialized. It plunked onto the floor lightly. Upon my investigation I determined it to be made of wood. It was unadorned and straight-backed.

I sat in the chair silently. I hoped Harry would wake soon.

Professor Snape said nothing, though we sat together for a long while. Ron's sobbing seemed to have stopped and Hermione was quiet as well. I imagined her sitting on the edge of his bed, one arm draped around him.

"Professor," I finally said with a tentative tone.

He shifted in his chair and grunted quietly. I wondered if I had interrupted his thoughts or maybe he had been asleep.

"Miss Lee," he said when I hadn't continued speaking quickly enough.

"Hermione and I," I started, "found a contract that used to be signed in case of the Dementors' kiss."

"I have spoken to the Headmaster about the very same," he responded unguarded. "Those who received the kiss wouldn't have signed one. I suspect the practice will be brought about again soon."

"There is nothing we can do?"

"I'm afraid not, not for Miss Chang and Mr. Clous."

I was quiet again.

It seemed like an hour had passed when Harry finally stirred.

"Mr. Potter, I see that you have returned to the land of the living."

"Cho," was the first word out of his mouth. "It was to late. I got burned by one of the Death Eaters. I couldn't conjure a-""

"Oh Harry," I said, now realizing why he and Hermione had been in such a hurry when they had left me.

***

"You can't save everyone, Mr. Potter. No matter how hard you try. This is a war. Lives will be lost. It is time for your potion once more."

Severus knew he was perhaps being to hard on the boy. Potter had to think of his luck in the attack though, not his losses. He had left with his life and so had his close friends. Once again luck, and a touch of skill, had helped them to survive.

The boy ignored what Severus had said.

"Where is she?"

"Hospital , where she will remain."

"I let her down. I don't know if she'll forgive me. I need to talk to her. This is all my fault."

"Firstly, she will not know you again, Mr. Potter. Secondly, you must not blame yourself. This war is not because of you. The Dark Lord wants control and he will do anything to get it. The war is about power. Blame and guilt have no place in it."

The boy fell silent.

Severus had twisted the lid of the jar off and was rubbing the potion into Harry's burnt skin. The boy gasped in pain.

"Where is Madam Pomfrey?"

Potter asked it as if he couldn't care if he ever saw Severus again and he probably couldn't.

"There are many injured students, Potter. You aren't the only one this time."

"Ron? Hermione?"

"Ron has finally woken up," the girl told him. "He has some sort of paralysis. It seems to be wearing off though. Hermione and I are fine."

"How did you, I mean I left you just standing there, Lucinda."

The girl lowered her head. Clearly she had felt abandon by her friends. When she raised it though there was a touch of admiration in her eyes.

Severus continued to rub in the potion.

"It's all right Harry. I mean I was scared and all and I lost my Muggle cane," she seemed to pause. Clearly she didn't know what to say next. "Professor Snape came for me. There was a Dementor and all. We Apparated."

"You mean you almost got the kiss?" The boy was beside him self. He sat up in the bed and nearly knocked the jar of valuable potion to the ground.

"Mind yourself, Mr. Potter. This potion cannot be easily repeated. And, Miss Lee is fine. You need not concern yourself with her well being."

Severus closed the bottle and rose from his chair. Neither of the children spoke.

"I will be back in two hours for another application," he said, and left the ward.

***

"He made that potion especially for you," I said hoping to see some gratefulness in Harry's demeanor.

"Really? Why would he do that?"

"He cares, Harry. He really does."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Ron will get better you know. Everything will be okay again." I tried to be comforting. I could sense his pain.

"It won't be the same again though. Never again."

"I know," I replied.

"Who else got kissed, died and all?"

"Well, I don't know everyone, but Ron's brother Percy was among the dead."

"Percy! Oh Ron must be-"

"He's devastated, Harry," I confirmed.

"I need to go and talk to him," he said in a gruff voice.

"You can't just get out of bed."

"Sure I can."

The blankets were rustling as Harry moved about in the bed.

"A little dizzy," he commented.

"Maybe you ought to hold onto my arm," I offered.

He took a tentative step forward and accepted my offer.

"You shouldn't be up."

"You sound like Madam Pomfrey."

"Let's hope she doesn't find you out of bed."

"Yeah."

We made our way to Ron's bed and Harry drew back the curtain slowly.

"Harry, your awake!" Hermione said jumping up from her seat.

She enveloped him in a huge hug and I removed my arm from his grasp.

"Oh Harry, I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried about you. With Ron, and Percy, and just everything. Oh Harry."

I felt the love pass through them. It radiated out from their excited forms. It wasn't a love that contained lust just a pure love between friends, kindred souls. These three loved deeply. I had not had that between friends and was unsure of what to make of it.

"He should sit," I said shyly.

Hermione dragged a chair over immediately, its legs scraped the floor.

"Ron," Harry started, "I'm so sorry to hear about Percy."

"I know mate," Ron responded. "Dumbledore said there was nothing they could do for him."

"It seems it was too late for more than one person," Harry said.

"Oh Harry, you can't blame yourself," Hermione pleaded.

"Remember what Professor Snape said," I reminded him.

"I know," Harry replied.

"What did that greasy git have to say?"

"Ron!" Hermione scolded. "If it weren't for Snape, I mean, Lucinda...She wouldn't be here. We all left her, Ron. All of us. And I couldn't fight the Dementors off anyway and you..."

Hermione had broken down into uncontrollable sobs.

I couldn't imagine what it was like to be her. She was always trying to organize things. She wanted to make everything right. She tried desperately to help those she loved no matter the consequences.

"It's okay, Hermione," I said. "Someone needed your help more than I did."

"But the Dementors-"

"You had no way of knowing they'd come after me."

"But we should have guessed," Harry said determinedly.

My respect for him grew. He was fierce in his need to save others. He was not proud. He simply was expected to do things, to save others, and so he worked at it with all his might.

"I'm okay," I said. "I'm okay," I repeated again hoping the words would sink in.

"Yeah, were all okay," Ron said.

***

The next morning Harry was at breakfast. The Gryffindor table welcomed him warmly. The conversation was more animated than it had been since the attack. Ron was still in the hospital wing and would be for some time. He had improved, if even just a little. I did hear some students whisper about Harry's face and wondered if he heard them as well.

Halfway through breakfast Harry jumped to his feet pushing himself free of the bench.

"Professor Lupin, Snuffles!" he burst out.

"How're you feeling, Harry?" Lupin asked.

"Lots better," Harry replied.

"Maybe we should go somewhere where we can talk?" Lupin asked.

"I'd like to see you all in my office," Dumbledore said as he walked calmly passed our table.

"Come on, Lucinda," Harry said. "You ought to meet Snuffles, too."

A dog was nuzzling my leg. I couldn't understand what was so exciting about a dog but I followed along behind everyone wishing I still had a cane to help me navigate.

Once in Dumbledore's office the dog had turned into a man. He introduced himself as Harry's godfather, Sirius.

"Harry, I was so worried," he said. "I was on assignment in, well never mind where. It's just good to see that you're okay. Your face looks terrible though."

"I'm fine, Sirius."

"Good," he patted Harry's shoulder loudly.

Harry squealed in agony and nearly collapsed from the pain.

"Harry?" Sirius asked. "Are you okay?"

"The burns," Harry said.

"Oh Harry, I'm sorry," Sirius apologized. "Which one of those filthy death Eaters did this to you?"

"I don't know, Sirius, they had masks on you know."

"I'd like to find every bloody one of them and string them up by their-"

"Sirius," Dumbledore said quietly . "I think it would be best if you would sit down."

The irate man complied with Dumbledore's request, and all of us sat with him.

"There are matters we must discuss," Dumbledore said.

"Yeah, like how to wipe out the entire Death Eater population," Sirius suggested.

"No," Dumbledore said still calm. "How best to protect Harry."

"I don't want anymore assignments for the Order," Sirius spoke up. "I'll stay with Harry. I'll guard him day and night."

"Your work is important to the Order," Lupin put in sensibly.

"Someone else can do it," Sirius complained.

"It's your expertise," Lupin reminded him.

"Remus has a point, Sirius," Dumbledore said. "I think things will be okay with Hogsmeade visits discontinued and the school closed to most visitors. Harry will need to be extra careful though."

"But what about what Professor Snape said?" I asked, referring to the children at Hogwarts who would soon be marked as Death Eaters.

"I'm afraid there is nothing we can do about the students who will be marked by Voldemort," Dumbledore said."

Students will be marked!" Hermione exclaimed."

Yes, I am afraid so, Miss Granger. However, if we were to expel them, we would be letting Voldemort know that we had a spy among us."

"Then Snape would be caught," Harry said.

"Professor Snape," Dumbledore reminded. "I'm afraid so," he answered then. "He would be in grave danger and we would lose his valuable information."

"Why didn't he let us know about the attack if his information is so valuable?" Sirius asked angrily.

"He cannot know everything about Voldemort's plans, Sirius," Dumbledore soothed.

No one said anything. Dumbledore's words needed a minute to sink in.

"I think it best if you go soon, Sirius. There will be ministry officials coming momentarily. They wish to check up on things and interview some of the students."

Sirius rose with a huff.

"Harry, you know you can contact me anytime. Just watch what you put in your messages, you know?"

"Yeah," Harry replied quietly.

Clearly he did not want to see his godfather go. He seemed to feel safe, happy, and loved with him there. Perhaps Harry wasn't as strong and tough as his exterior seemed to show.

"I'll be seeing you soon, Harry," Sirius reassured.

I wondered what trouble Sirius would get into, trying to meet with Harry without anyone noticing.

"See you then, Sirius," Harry said.

"See you," Sirius replied.

"Goodbye, Harry," Lupin said.

"Bye," Harry replied."

Goodbye both of you," Hermione said.

Professor Lupin and Sirius left the room. The door clicked shut behind them. After a few moments, Harry got up and left Dumbledore's office without saying a word.

Hermione and I rose to leave.

"Just one more moment," Dumbledore said.

I paused and turned to face him.

"Sir?" Hermione said.

"Harry will need some time. This is difficult for him. He has had no one for so long. It is hard for him to see Sirius go."

"Me, and the Weasleys," Hermione suggested.

"Yes," Dumbledore added. "You are much like family to Mister Potter, but he is still not really a part of your families."

I couldn't imagine having no one. My family was very close. My extended family visited often and everyone was concerned with everyone else. They didn't always understand my blindness but they were there for me in their own way and I appreciated it more than any of them would ever know. When life got to hard there was always someone there. I couldn't imagine carrying Harry's burdens and not having anyone to turn to for so many years. His relatives, the Dursleys, sure weren't a support system for him. I was saddened by Dumbledore's words.