Blood of Mud, Wing of Bat

Chapter 21: Malfoy Denies Knowledge of Explatteratus

Wizard World News Late Friday Edition -- Page 6
MALFOY DENIES KNOWLEDGE OF EXPLATTERATUS
CALLS JOHNSON INCIDENT "TRAGIC ACCIDENT"

(The article is crowned by a wizard-photo of Draco Malfoy wearing an extremely uncomplimentary expression of confusion on his ferrety face.)

Naegle: Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy. I apologize for catching you halfway out the door like this. Do you have time for a few questions?

Malfoy: I was just leaving.

Naegle: This is in regards to Nixon Johnson's accusations today.

Malfoy: [pauses] What?

Naegle: Were you listening to the radio this evening?

Malfoy: No….

Naegle: But you do know who I'm talking about?

Malfoy: The Auror? Special Ops Agent Johnson?

Naegle: Yes. He did an interview with Rita Skeeter on the radio a few hours ago where he accused you of being a Death Eater and being You-Know-Who's right hand man.

Malfoy: What!

Naegle: Mr. Malfoy, did you Explatterate Agent Johnson?

Malfoy: Did I do what?

Naegle: Did you cast the Explatteratus on him?

Malfoy: Is that a spell? [stupidly]

(multiple pops and flashes as Naegle's recording charms preserve the expression for posterity)

Naegle: Agent Johnson told Rita Skeeter that you blew him to pieces with an Explatteratus Curse. Or I should say, with a curse the Aurors code-named Explatteratus.

Malfoy: Look, I'm very sorry about what happened to Agent Johnson, but I didn't do anything to him. What happened was an accident, pure and simple.

Naegle: So you say you didn't do it?

Malfoy: That is correct.

Naegle: But you were there when it happened.

Malfoy: Yes, I was, and don't ask me to describe it.

Naegle: No, I won't. From what I've heard, the details are not at all pleasant. But could you just give us the basics of how the, ah, accident came about?

Malfoy: [sighs] I'm already very late but… fine. They had me up against the wall, or Nesbitt did, anyway. As he came up behind me to search me I went for my spare wand - I'll admit, I was in no condition to think clearly at the time, or I never would have done that - and Johnson pushed Nesbitt out of the way and tried to hit me with a immobilization charm. I cast a simple deflection charm at the same time and there was a bizarre interaction. They've never figured out exactly what happened, but it was catastrophic.

Naegle: A spare wand… why would you need something like that?

Malfoy: Call me paranoid.

Naegle: Doesn't it take years of training to use a wand that hasn't chosen you?

Malfoy: I had a lot more time for hobbies back then.

Naegle: Going back to the, er, Explatteratus incident. If they thought you cast it, why weren't you arrested afterward? Why didn't you go to trial for it?

Malfoy: First of all, I was already under arrest, and secondly, it was perfectly obvious at the time that neither of us had done it on purpose. It was a… a tragic accident. I don't want to speculate on what sort of state of mind Johnson is in after all these years, but he doesn't seem to be remembering the events the same way the rest of us do.

Naegle: What were you under arrest for?

Malfoy: [coughs] Reckless flying and public drunkenness, not that it's relevant.

Naegle: They sent Aurors for that?

Malfoy: Does seem a bit extreme, doesn't it? But look it up if you don't believe me. It's on the public record.

Naegle: Have you ever been able to reproduce the Explatteratus spell since then?

Malfoy: It wasn't a spell, it was a freak accident. The Aurors have never managed to reproduce it. That would be why it has a code name. If it was a real spell, they would just call it by its real name.

Naegle: They could be trying to protect the public from knowledge of how to cast this dangerous curse.

Malfoy: I don't know about you, but I learned the words to the Unforgivables in my 4th-year DADA class at Hogwarts. If they're trying to protect the public from knowledge of dangerous curses, they're not doing a very good job of it.

Naegle: Are you going to get back at Agent Johnson for this?

Malfoy: For what?

Naegle: For making false accusations in the media.

Malfoy: No. His claims are patently ridiculous. I think the fool he's made of himself is punishment enough.

Naegle: Aur Central has been strictly no-comment on this matter.

Malfoy: I'm not surprised.

Naegle: Mr. Malfoy, what do --

Malfoy: I have to go. I'm late for an important meeting.

Naegle: Is the meeting with Herm --

Malfoy: Good bye.

Naegle: Thank you for the interview, Mr. Malfoy.

(Photo and interview: Perko Naegle)