Blood of Mud, Wing of Bat

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Chapter 10: Arthur's Owls

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Dear Dad,

You know how Hermione is. She wouldn't break client confidentiality if her life depended on it. Although, maybe if you had some proof of what kinds of crimes he's committed… well I suppose if you had that, you wouldn't need her to spy for you would you? Yes, we're very proud of Chris. I don't know how he can do it... he has his mother's grades and my Quidditch skills, and never gets in trouble for anything. Even the little ones get more notes sent home than he does.

--Ron

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Arthur,

This is it. We're so close I can smell it. You've got to get that daughter-in-law of yours to spill. Nesbitt and his men have been stopping that Malfoy scumbag every couple of days for weeks and coming up dry every time. I haven't seen a crook so vile keep coming up smelling so sweet since his father was at large. I'd really rather not wait for You-Know-Who to do our dirty work for us this time, know what I mean? The sooner we can put Malfoy behind bars, the better off everyone will be.

-- A. Moody

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Dear Mr. Weasley,

We are pleased to announce a new service to our members: sidewalk cleaning! Each day at 9AM and 5PM the groundskeepers will clean and decontaminate our community's sidewalks using the latest potions and charms. It is advised that small pets be kept indoors during those times. This is just one more fabulous service to come out of the dues raise at the last meeting. We appreciate our residents, and we hope you have been enjoying our beautiful grounds and other amenities.

Lawna Prune
Hogsmeade Condominiums Association

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Dear Grandpa Weasley,

I know it's a long ways off, but are you going to come over to our house for Christmas again this year? I miss you! Plus if you come, daddy will come for sure. Thanks for you and Grandma sending me lots of letters. I love getting mail! Thank you also for the cute stickers you sent last time. I particularly like the sparkly unicorn ones. I have been putting them on all my homework when I turn it in. Professor Jigger almost gave me points off for that though :-( Then he decided not to, because he says my homework has "more valuable content" now than it ever did before. He's so mean!

Love,
NellieBellie

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Dear Arthur,

Romania is beautiful and Charlie, Anne, and the kids are doing wonderfully. I wish you could have come, you should see how large they are! Charlie took me down to see the dragons today. Brrr… a little too scary for my tastes! But I'm glad he's happy. We're going for a flying carpet ride today at the Old Eastern Rug Works. I'm still planning on returning tomorrow, so I'll see you soon! Oh, and you should know I have picked up small presents for everybody. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but I'll give you a hint about yours… it's from a little Muggle shop specializing in ancient artefacts. I think you'll really enjoy it!

Love, Your Molly

P.S. I agree, I am worried about Hermione too. I hope she isn't getting into anything she can't handle. It's a shame Ron can't spare more time for her. I am certain she wouldn't have done something so reckless if he'd given her the attention she deserves. Do you think you should have a talk with him about that?

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Dear Dad,

Wow, I haven't had an owl from you in ages. I would like to think you sent it out of fatherly love, but somehow I doubt it. It's because of the whole Hermione and Malfoy thing isn't it? Well, I honestly don't know anything about that. Nesbitt hasn't said a word. I doubt I'll ever have a chance to see anything for myself, as Mr. Duncan would rather saw off his own tongue with an emery board than send Pansy and me on a Malfoy harassment run. And no, Pansy doesn't know anything either. She's pretty upset about Salazar being in the hospital though. Do you know he's going to be missing the entire rest of the school year? She tried to go see him but was turned back for not being a relative. The nerve! She's his mum for cripes sake! In answer to your other questions (just in case you really wanted to know and weren't just asking because you wanted me to talk about Malfoy), we are both doing really well. Pansy got a commendation for exceptional cunning in a tight situation during that unicorn urine bust we carried out last month, and everybody seems to think I am next in line for a promotion this winter. Cross fingers!

--Virginia

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Mr. Weasley,

I am starting to have some serious doubts about Operation Crash Landing. In the last two months we have now carried out 43 personal searches of Draco Malfoy on the grounds of breaking his parole for flight violations, and we haven't come up with a single shred of evidence. Plus, he is getting very good at avoiding setting off the restraining charm. The sensitivity is now turned up so high it will go off if he even thinks about flying, and it still took three days this last time. Turns out he wasn't thinking about it, he was dreaming about it. You know, he might actually have a case if he tries to contest that one. Anyway, while a study of electroshock treatment to train a person out of liking flying might be of interest to the academic types, I don't think it's going to serve our purposes much longer. We need something more. Preferably something that will catch him when he does have evidence on him.

Daschel Duncan
Supervisor, Special Ops

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Mr. Weasley,

Can't you speak to Mr. Duncan about lifting some of the restrictions on my operations? That Malfoy is laughing at us! He murders Muggles and Muggle-borns at night, pours money into other Death Eaters' pockets during the day, and sits up there in Supernatural Relations grinning his ass off as he requests and reads our internal documents. If you could get Malfoy's status upgraded to allow the use of lethal force and/or indefinite detainment, I am certain I could get him to squeal everything. What's the use of all this tiptoeing around? Granted the harassment has been wearing him down, but how many innocents are dying while we wait for him to make a mistake?

Rudeo Nesbitt
Special Ops

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Dear Dad,

I have to tell you about something really funny that happened today. We got a letter from little Lucia Malfoy… you know, Draco Malfoy's twelve year old? She said that due to our family's treatment of her brother and father, she was boycotting Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and buying all of her pranks at Zonko's from now on. It's all written out formally -- her father must have showed her how. Ha ha, little anti-Muggle lobbyist in the making! It would be cute if it wasn't so sad. Malfoy is a jerk. I do miss him bringing the entire Slytherin Quidditch team by after games though. Those boys sure bought up a lot of pranks. How're mum and everybody? Are Ron and Hermione planning on having another barbecue soon? George and I were just talking about wanting to see the Burrow again.

Love,
Fred

P.S. Um... just so that you know, Weasley's currently owes 35,345 galleons to Batwing, 10,912 of which is over 90 days past due. I don't think we could switch to another supplier and remain in business; Batwing's prices are already half what anyone else's are. Is there any way you could, uh, avoid truly pissing Malfoy off? I don't think it'd take him long to find out about this if he was seriously digging for dirt on the family. We can be all paid up again by Christmas now that seasonal orders are rolling in, but if he decided to collect in the meantime, it'd be a disaster.

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Dear Arthur,

My, it's been years hasn't it? You might remember me from school… I was the one you and your friends always used to call 'Bologna'. You know, 'Trelawney bologna fee-fie so-phoney'? Fortunately I can now look back on those times and laugh. Ha. Ha. Those were the days weren't they? Anyway, I am writing you because I'm concerned about the politics surrounding your daughter-in-law Hermione's current assignment. I am certain you know she is working for me, and with Batwing Alchemical & Pharmaceutical's Draco Malfoy. I hope you realize she is not at liberty to discuss his personal business with anybody outside of our firm. I understand that you might find it helpful if she did, but really. There must be some separation between business and government, and I insist that all of my employees behave with perfect professionalism. Please don't ask Hermione to give you information on our client. If I find out she's been coerced or tricked into doing so, I will regrettably be forced to let her go. And would so hate to lose such a brilliant and charming Know-it-all.

Most Respectfully and Congenially,
Sibyll Trelawney
Enchantress, Diviner, Problem Solver Extraordinaire
Sibyll & Co. Know-it-All Consultants

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