Blood of Mud, Wing of Bat

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Chapter 8: Owls and Bludgers

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Dear Dad,

Thank you for the Shazam Megasprite! Everybody is totally in awe. Mee Chang had said if I got a better broom than her Nimble-3XL she'd eat it (her broom). So Jan and Ginger transformed one of the school brooms into cake (complete with frosting for the logo) and insisted she eat most of it for lunch today. She was sooo sick afterward! We couldn't stop laughing. I can't wait to see the look on her face when they present her with the rest of it for dinner tonight.

About the whole Sal Malfoy thing, I don't get why you're so upset. How is it poor sportsmanship? First of all I didn't even do anything, unless you count giving Georgia and Freida the idea, and you know how they are. Secondly, it's not as if "Sally" did anything for his team anyway. He wasn't even good enough to play a position, and the only reason they even let him be Captain is because his rich daddy takes the entire team to Honeydukes and the Three Broomsticks every time they win a game. They'll probably play better now that he's gone and Sheba Flint has taken over. I'd say I did them a favour!

I honestly don't see why everyone is so upset about his missing the rest of the school year either. Everybody seems to have overlooked how awful that little creep's grades were right before this happened. He almost didn't even get to come back to Hogwarts because he failed half his classes last year. I'm sure he only managed to wriggle back in this year because his dad's on the Board. It's probably a total relief for those Malfoys that this happened -- now he has an excuse to drop out of school without admitting he's stupid. If it hadn't been for his grades, I am sure he would have been OK in a day or two.

Love, Chris

P.S. That was awesome how you knocked Krum Jr. off his broomstick! We were listening on the radio when it happened. What an embarrassment though, only 5 minutes into his first Major League game. Oh well :-)

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Dear Dad,

Mum says I need to learn how to control my temper better. Can you give me any tips on how you do it? Somehow reciting the potions ingredients tables in my head doesn't do it for me. I keep picturing Professor Jigger's face telling me I'm one more spectacularly worthless git in a long line of same. Also I can never remember past Eye of Owl and Toe of Newt. Speaking of forgetting, since my birthday was last week, could you possibly get me "101 Ways to Get Revenge Secretly"? Not that I plan to use it or anything, it just sounds like a good read. Please? Pleeeeeeeaaaaase?

Love, Jude

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Dear Ron,

We've learned Hermione is going to be working closely with Draco Malfoy. We'd be very interested in talking to her about providing us with ongoing information on Malfoy's activities and whereabouts. This may be our big chance to finally bring that Death Eater to justice! We realize that she may have some issues related to client confidentiality… how do you recommend we get around that? Can you speak to her about this for us? I heard Chris got on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Congratulations! You must be very proud - I know we are!

Love, Dad

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Dear Ron,

I heard you were going to be at Holyfield again next week and I am so looking forward to seeing you. Last time was most fun, don't you think? Right now I'm wearing the scarf you gave me. And nothing else. I would love to show you everything that can be done with the scarf… I've spent hours experimenting. See you soon! By the way my team members suspect nothing.

Sheila Lasherton
Harpy on the Outside, Cannon on the Inside!

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Dear Dad,

I knew you'd love the Everlasting Glue thing. You should have heard little Sally shriek like a girl! How were we to know he has a phobia of cockroaches? I wouldn't have thought he'd have ever seen one before, growing up in a big manor house and all. Well, there is a first time for everything I guess, and why not make the first time extra special?

--Love, Freida

P.S. Georgia says Hi too!

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Dear Dad,

Thanks! It really was hilariously funny. There were so many cockroaches stuck to him that after he fainted (out of sheer fright mind you) his limp body tried to crawl its way under the table by cockroach-power. Minnie Crabbe tossed her cookies into the Slytherin pumpkin juice jug and Bart Goyle kept roaring "I'm gonna get whoever did this!" So far, though, he hasn't. I think he's too chicken.

--Love, Georgia

P.S. Freida sends her love. By the way, we need some Fairy Wing Membrane for our next, um, experiment. It's kind of expensive. Any chance you could… um…?

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Dear Daddy,

When are you going to come home? I barely remember what you look like! My friend Megan Chafferty says daddies who ignore their kids are bad men. But my other friend ShellyBellie Longbottom says that doesn't count for famous daddies because being famous is better than lots of letters. I would agree more with her, except my worst enemy Lucia Malfoy's daddy is famous and he sends loads of letters and even cakes and candy! Salazar got them too while he was here. That's not fair. Can't I have both too?

Love, NellieBellie

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Dear Ron Weasley,

I am your #1 fan. I have Chudley Cannons everything in my room and I even have an autographed Bludger from the finals last year. I don't expect you to remember me, but I was the one with the orange hat on. My whole family is travelling through Chudley on our way to holiday a couple of weeks from now and I was wondering if it'd be OK if I stopped by your house and got another autograph? Where do you live? Thanks in advance.

-- Petey Washington

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