Maybe This Time

CHAPTER SEVEN: HOPELESS SITUATION

Harry was walking towards the Gryffindor table for breakfast with Ron. His heart was racing. He has never been this nervous before. Well, at least not towards a girl. He carefully scanned the table and then felt a huge jolt when he saw her sitting beside Hermione.

He felt like he is going to choke. His stomach, all of a sudden, felt like it was filled with butterflies... No! It felt as if it is filled with snakes, the size of the Basilisk, wriggling inside him! He felt like he´s going to throw up but he continued on walking... towards her.BREATHE IN... BREATHE OUT... BREATH IN... BREATHE OUT...

Approaching her has never been this hard. Great Merlin! He hated himself. ONE STEP...TWO STEPS... How could he have been so stupid? All those time when she was head over heels in love with him... All those time when she followed him around... She was right there! Why did he have to be so dumb and look for someone else? Why couldn´t he have realized it sooner? Why was he such a prat, dismissing her like that?!

Now, his world is turned upside down. He´s in love with her while she´s the one dismissing him. He sighed. It´s his entire fault and now it´s too late. Why didn´t he even just try going out with her? Why?!

If only he could turn back time... He stopped walking. Maybe he could borrow Hermione´s time turner? Yes! No! She returned it... Why did she have to return it?! Why can´t she just give it to him or Ron? Maybe he can ask her to get another one! He can borrow it... but he´ll probably die before he completes a two-year turn. It´s one turn per hour... Twenty four turns for a day and God knows how many in two years?! He sighed. If only he could turn back time and correct his mistakes...

This is getting hopeless.

He let his chance pass him by. It´s gone. She´s gone.

He´s lost her... and not just as a girlfriend but...

Maybe as a friend too. He closed his eyes tightly and then secretly prayed.

She was the only one patient enough to hang out with him even though she knew very well that he was also using her for Potions and for setting up dates with girls. She was always there every time Ron and Hermione needed privacy or Seamus and Lavender or Dean and Parvati or Draco and who ever he is with. He was stupid. He is stupid. He continued on walking towards her.

`Ginny,´ whispered Hermione, `I swear. I didn´t tell him anything, even Ron.´

`How did he know then?´ asked Ginny, looking very upset.

`I honestly don´t know,´ sighed Hermione, `Believe me, Ginny. I would never ever betray you. I never told anyone that you still---´

`Whatever,´ said Ginny, looking sideways at Harry´s approaching figure.

`Ginny,´ begged Hermione.

`Let´s talk about that later,´ said Ginny softly, looking at her and moving her eyes, secretly telling her that Harry´s approaching.

`OK,´ said Hermione, looking down to her notes and pretending to be busy. `Maybe I should just leave you alone---´ She began to stand up but Ginny stopped her.

`No!´ she hissed uneasily. `Stay here. Please.´ Hermione looked at her and then nodded.

He stopped close to her chair, taking deep breaths and swallowing hard. She looked so busy but he needed to talk to her so bad. He was trembling.

`Ahem,´ he cleared his throat softly. No reaction. He did it again but still no reaction. He sighed. Please help me say the right words.

`Ginny,´ he squeaked but said her name again in a deeper and more normal tone. `Please, let´s talk.´ She looked up to him. Maybe this was a mistake. Where will I start? What am I suppose to tell her again? Why am I here again?

`If you are not going to talk,´ she said flatly, interrupting his thoughts, `just tell me so that I could go back to my notes and study. I have a test in a few minutes.´

`I was---´

`You are wasting my time.´

He raised his chin, swallowed hard and then looked at the ceiling. This is far worse than catching the bloody snitch! His mind was screaming at him. Just tell her!

She began packing her things while standing up. Harry just looked at her, not knowing what to do.

`Ginny,´ he said pleadingly.

`What?!´ she snapped irritably, slightly raising her voice. All the people around them just swallowed hard and tried to look away.

`I just---´

`Did you come here to ask help with some girl? Your Potions essay?´

`I---I---´ stuttered Harry.

`I´m so sorry but I am busy. I don´t have time for such rubbish. Besides, I really think that it´s time for you to arrange your own dates and do your own essays without any help from me.´

`I´m so---´

`I´m sorry again, Harry?´ she said, raising her eyebrows and eyeing him with disgust. `Is that all that you can say?´

`I didn´t---´

`You know what? I´m easy to talk to, because unlike you, Harry, I listen to my friends. I know that they care about me. I know that they don´t want me to get hurt. You didn´t have to make up some excuses just to make me cancel my date with Ian,´ she said, looking very hurt. `Just telling me about the bet was enough. You didn´t have to pretend that you wanted to go out with me or tell me that some guy wants to go out with me.´

`Ginny---´

`Don´t Ginny me. Did you honestly think that I still like you?´ she said. Harry closed his mouth. `Did you honestly think that I´d be terribly glad to be Ms. February? That´s why all of a sudden you began slapping my OLD feelings for you in my face? That I used to like you?´

Harry felt that he has been slapped, punched and cut by a knife.

`Do you honestly look at me that low?´ she continued, `Well, sorry to burst your bubble but no, I did not change my mind. I´d rather go out with some Hufflepuff prat than with you, thank you.´

He suddenly felt very dizzy.

`By the way,´ she continued, before walking away, `have I told you that I hate you so much right now?´

Harry just swallowed hard and then slipped on the nearest chair, resting his forehead on his arms when he felt something drop on his head. It was a letter.

Dear Mr. Harry Potter,

There will be a Quidditch Training Camp in Bulgaria, starting from next week. This would be a very good opportunity to begin your professional training as our new Seeker. I just want to know if you wish to go or not. If you are worried about school, you could go to Durmstrang and continue your education there. Durmstrang and Hogwarts have the same teaching techniques and I learned that you could transfer credits to and from Durmstrang and/or Hogwarts to any institution. Having the opportunity to transfer credits, you´ll be able to graduate and receive a diploma from both institutions. If you cannot go and wishes to stay at Hogwarts, it is fine with us. You do not have to worry about anything.

We are so glad that you could join The Puddlemere United Reserve Team and be our new Seeker. Thank you and we are really hoping to hear from you soon.

From,

Puddlemere United Reserve Team

PS:

Please mark your answer and then return this letter to us immediately.

He looked up and then forced a smile.

`What is it?´ asked Ron softly.

`Ron, could you do me a favour?´ he said and then marked the box, which corresponds to "Yes". `Would you mind telling Ginny something for me?´ ===========================