Maybe This Time

CHAPTER THREE: HARRY´S SECRET HEARTACHE

`No Harry...´

`Potter.´

`Let´s just wait...´

`Potter,´ said Draco, nudging the very distracted Harry. `Potter!´

`What?´ said Harry irritably, shaking his head. `What do you---´

`What´s going on with you?´ asked Draco with raised eyebrows, stepping in front of him.

`I shouldn´t have kissed her,´ said Harry, his voice trailing off. Draco has never seen Harry behaved like this after kissing a girl. `I shouldn´t have...´

`How did it happen anyway,´ said Draco, looking as if he wasn´t interested at all. Harry looked horrified.

`I was... I was...´ he said quickly. `I had to go to the loo so bad and she wouldn´t let me kiss her and then...´ Draco looked at him with raised eyebrows.

`Harry, don´t feel so bad. You were in that kissing box and you had no choice. You are talking as if kissing is a crime...´

`I don´t know anymore,´ continued Harry quickly, looking terrible with every single word that was coming out of his mouth. `And that´s when I kissed her and then I felt it! It was... it was... I never felt that with any other girl before...´

`Felt what?´

`I don´t know!´ blurted Harry, complete with hand gestures. `I just felt something...´

`Are you OK?´ asked Draco.

`No,´ he mumbled, running his hand through his hair and breathing deeply. `I´m the dumbest boy who ever lived...´

`What,´ said Draco irritably, snorting. `What? Can you increase your volume and stop talking like a bug? All I hear are---´

`I´m the dumbest boy who ever lived!´ said Harry, raising his voice. `Got it?!´

`Oh,´ said Draco. He knew what it is all about. He wasn´t stupid and he saw it. He sure wants to talk about it but he just didn´t want to bring it up. `Why would you say that?´

`Because...´ said Harry, mumbling again.

`I can´t hear you,´ said Draco, rolling his eyes.

`Because,´ said Harry, looking terrible. `Because...´

`Because what,´ asked Draco, crossing his arms over his chest and watching Harry slowly slide down from the wall. `Tell me.´

`Because,´ said Harry, now sitting on the floor. `She´s a great girl and...´

`Ginny?´ he asked again. Harry looked at him and then sighed. `I´ll take that as a yes. And?´

`And now it´s too late,´ said Harry, burying his face in his hands.

`Get your hands off your face,´ demanded Draco. Surprisingly, Harry did as he was told. `And, er, why is that?´

`Because,´ continued Harry, `I´m stupid...´

`Oh great,´ said Draco, rolling his eyes. `I was asking you why and then now we are back to stupid. This conversation isn´t going anywhere. Just tell me.´ Harry grumbled.

`Because,´ said Harry.

`If you say because again... I swear, Potter---´ but he was interrupted by Harry.

`Ginny´s a great girl and I never noticed it before,´ blurted Harry, looking terrible. `I didn´t pay attention to her.´ Draco just nodded, feeling sorry for him. `She was right there. Right in front of my very eyes and all I did was ignore her... and...´

`And,´ said Draco, `go on, I´m listening. Don´t stop.´

`And now, it´s too late.´ Draco raised an eyebrow.

`Too late?´

`She doesn´t like me anymore...´ said Harry, desperately. `But I didn´t know that I´d feel it if I kissed her! If I only knew...´

`Don´t worry mate,´ said Draco, patting Harry´s back as he began walking away, his head bowed. Draco just watched, biting his lower lip. `You´ll be fine. Things happen for a reason.´ ==================

Harry entered the common room, thinking about Ginny and Seamus´ kissing box. He looked around and saw that it was completely empty. He dropped on the couch nearest to the fireplace and then just stared at the fire, thinking of how stupid he has been...

Ron and Hermione began dating each other in 5^th year. At first, Harry loved the idea of Ron and Hermione being an item, but time passed when he was left alone a lot. Hermione and Ron wanted PRIVACY, sometime away from their friends. Now, there´s a lot of Ron and Hermione... not Ron, Hermione and Harry. Of course they would spend time with him but there was this constant snogging and mushy session and Harry never got used to that. He was definitely happy for them but it´s just a bit sickening sometimes. Hermione had this great influence on Ron that he began to study a lot as well... that made Harry sick. He and Ron don´t study. They just don´t.

`Are you bored?´ asked a very nervous Ginny, sitting across him. She blushed. Ginny was crazy about him and Harry knew it. He just doesn´t see her as a `girlfriend material´. She was too boyish and shy for his liking. Harry looked at her and then forced a smile. `I-I-I can go if---´ she continued standing up.

`No,´ said Harry, `please stay. You know what? I´ve never really have a real conversation with you. Would you like to walk to dinner with me?´ Harry looked at Ron and Hermione who already disappeared from the portrait hole and then forced a smile. `Looks like Ron and Hermione forgot about me...´

That´s when Harry and Ginny began spending time with each other. He was only forced to spend time with her at first but time passed by where he got to know the REAL Ginny. She´s funny, energetic and full of fun. She got the sense of humor of Fred and George, wit of Percy, Quidditch abilities of Charlie, coolness of Bill and everything of Ron. She often accompanied him to Hogsmeade, watched him during Quidditch practices and games and...

`Gin,´ said Harry, sitting beside her and moving closer to her.

`Yes,´ she replied, swallowing hard and barely looking at his eyes.

`Could you do me a favour?´

`What?´

`Could you fix me a date with Amber?´ Ginny´s face fell.

`Of-of course, I will, tomorrow,´ she said standing up to put the books back on the shelf. Harry jumped up in excitement and then punched the air.

`Thanks!´ said Harry. `See you around!´ Ginny has been Harry´s bridge to the girls that he thought was worthy of being called his girlfriend. Ginny did everything that he wanted even if it broke her heart. She fixed dates for him and introduced him to girls and he loved her for that. She builds him up to girls that he liked. Making Harry happy was enough for her. She loved him and he knew it but he just didn´t see her that way.

`Harry, let´s go?´ said Ginny.

`Ginny, would you mind if I asked you to go ahead?´ said Harry. `Mia asked me for a drink. I´ll just see you later!´ He left her there.

`Harry,´ said Ginny, catching up with him. `You should really stay away from Mia. She´s cheating on you...´ Harry looked at him and then smiled.

`You know what, Ginny?´ said Harry. `Thanks. I really appreciate you looking after me, but I can take good care of myself. Besides, it´s not like I´m totally serious with her... what matters is that when we are together, we are happy. When we are not together, we can go our separate ways.´

`By the way, Gin,´ said Harry, turning around to face her. `Can you help me with my Potions essay?´ That´s what mainly happened during Harry´s 5^th year. The summer before Harry´s 6^th year, though, Ginny changed. She, all of a sudden, didn´t like him anymore. Harry didn´t know how it happened but he liked it more. Ginny was a lot more fun to be with and everything. Most of all, Harry didn´t feel guilty anymore every time he asks her to fix someone with him.

Harry leaned back on his chair, still staring at the fire, and then sighed. `How could I have been so stupid...´ he said to himself. Just this night, she abandoned her to dance with some other girl. No wonder, she got angry with him.

`She would never ever like me anymore. You blew it, Harry.´ He looked at the fire again and then took a deep breath. `Great Merlin, now I know how she feels...´

`Hey,´ said Ginny, smiling at him. Harry´s heart began to do flip-flops and it is driving him insane. He didn´t know what to do. Should he face her? Should he look at her? What if he is blushing? What´s happening to me?!

`He-ey,´ he said, awkwardly. He looked at her. `You are still, er, awake?´

`Nah, I just came here to get my purse,´ said Ginny, showing the purse in his hand. `I forgot it.´

`Ginny,´ said Harry but Ginny interrupted him.

`Harry, I know what you ar going to say. It´s fine, really. You don´t have to worry about that incident awhile ago...´

`Really?´ he squeked.

`Yeah,´ said Ginny, turning around and walking towards the girl´s staircase. `Besides, we can always call it a friendly kiss, you know.´ Harry suddenly felt someone punch him hard, very hard, in the stomach. He suddenly felt sick. `Goodnight.´

`Goodnight,´ whispered Harry, dropping on the chair and wiping the sweat on his forehead. He moaned.This is going to be really hard... Someone help me please...

Now, Harry believes in the saying "You´ll know the importance of something once it´s gone..." ===================