Musings of a Red Head

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and a stuffy nose; not a pleasant way to start the day, especially one in which I was planning to confront an incredibly pompous silver haired Slytherin.

After a few minutes of dawdling and debating on whether to get up and face the world or stay in my soft and warm bed, I finally clambered out, tripping over my duvet on the way. I groaned as my head seemed to be getting bigger with every step and I cursed Malfoy; if it wasn't for him I might not have stayed out the night before and I wouldn't have caught a cold.

I passed Georgia on my way to the bathroom and despite my prayers that she wouldn't speak to me, she did anyway.

"Well hello sleepy head!" Georgia greeted me." It's quarter to twelve, Gin, what kept you?"

With every word she spoke my head pounded and I mumbled in reply, "I'm sick."

"Oh! How about I go call on Madam Pomfrey then? She'll get you fixed up in no time," Georgia said, with much enthusiasm. How anyone could be excited about going to the infirmary was beyond me, but a lot of things my year mates did went over my head, so I suppose this wasn't an exception.

"It's okay Georgia," I said, trying to conceal my croaky voice. "I'll handle it."

"Oh nonsense, Ginny, listen to yourself! You sound like Neville's toad Trevor, and that's not a good thing," Georgia said, sounding like my Mum, I don't think she meant to, but it made me smile all the same. Georgia really wasn't that bad of a friend, sure she had her moments but she was always trying to help people, and it was nice having someone take care of you once in a while. "Now listen here Ginny, I'll go get you some cold remedy while you have a shower, meet you back here in 20 minutes ok?"

I nodded in resignation and headed into the bathroom, as much as I didn't want to choke down one of Madame Pomfrey's potions, I knew it would make me feel better, as they always did. I didn't want to approach Malfoy sounding like a toad anyway; I could just imagine the insults he'd throw out. But, come to think of it, I couldn't think of the last time that Malfoy and I had fought. I couldn't even remember the last angry glance we had shared. In fact, the last time I recalled talking to him was that day in October, in the Prefects bathroom. It seemed odd to me at the time, not to have Malfoys seemingly constant presence; and it was strange to me that I hadn't noticed before. Sure, I hadn't been myself for many of those days, but still the thought was strange.

Malfoy's unusual behaviour was beginning to bother me, not that I was complaining about his lack of interest in me, just that he had always been there, you know like a constant in my life; maybe not a happy constant, but he had been there none the less and as much as I didn't want to say it, now that Malfoys evil smirks and snide remarks were gone, things just weren't the same. Maybe it was because having rows with Malfoy was a way for me to get my pent up frustration out, or it could have been for a completely different reason; either way, my life had changed, and it seemed to me it hadn't changed for the better.

So it was that I headed into the shower with more determination to talk to Draco than I had had the night before, if that was indeed possible.

*

As I was pulling on my warm green sweater, the one Mum had made me for Christmas the year before, Georgia came running into the dormitory.

"Sorry I'm a little late, you'll never guess who I ran into," Georgia said in between breaths, her face was beat red.

"I didn't even notice," I told her, my head popped out of the top of the sweater and I turned to face her."Who did you say you ran into?"

"Draco Malfoy!" she said, and I jumped at the name. "He was lingering out near the Fat Lady, I told him off on my way in and...Well, you know how he is. Anyway, he was probably waiting for some little Gryffindor's to pick on."

"Georgia, how long ago did you see him." I asked, my expression completely serious.

She gave me a confused look, but eventually said, "It was just two minutes ago, as I was coming up here, but Ginny, why..."

"Thanks," I said, bending down to grab the cloak on the floor. "I'll see you later." And with that I ran for the dormitory door, hoping Malfoy hadn't gone too far yet.

"Wait! Ginny," Georgia called after me. "You forgot your cold remedy!" I stopped and took the vial from Georgia. Quickly I uncorked it and took the potion, I winced as the hot stinging liquid found it's way down my throat.

Then I was on my way, running down the stairs to the common room and out the portrait hole, with a bit more exuberance than I think was healthy for someone who had just recently had troubles getting out of bed.

As I stepped out the portrait hole, my body came to a complete stop, into a warm black clad chest. When I stepped back I realised it was, of course, Malfoy, looking nice in a black long sleeved top and grey baggy pants. I looked up at his face and saw that his eyes were twinkling with amusement and his mouth was showing a hint of a grin. I remember thinking how strange these expressions were to see on a Malfoy.

"Weasley," he said, I could feel his breath on my face as he talked, we were only standing about a foot apart. Although I knew I should have moved back, I didn't. Malfoy's breath on my face made my body feel cool, and my heart beat faster, I didn't want to ruin it by moving away.

"Malfoy," I replied, holding up the cloak, my hands shaking from the cold."I believe this is yours."

Draco reached out and took the cloak from me, his hand brushed against mine and I felt a hot tingle run up through my arm and mingle with the cold shivers his breath had given me. He took a step back and inspected the cloak. I breathed a sigh of, was it relief or disappointment? I suppose it must've been both.

Draco lifted the heavy cloak with ease and turned it around, I remember thinking that he must be looking for damages and what a Malfoy like thing that was to do; but on the bright side his scrutiny of the cloak gave me a chance to look him over, I couldn't help myself; his well built chest was just too tempting to ignore, and being the innocent girl I was back then just made my situation worse.

I could see his arm muscles through the black shirt and I admired them for a while before my gaze traveled south, resting on the bulge in his pants. My cheeks flushed and I quickly looked up, hoping that Draco hadn't noticed.

Luckily, he was still looking at the cloak and I searched for something to say. "There's nothing wrong with it, is there?" I asked. Draco looked up and captured my eyes, I couldn't break the contact and I felt as if he was glueing my eyes to his. He took a step closer to me and pressed the cloak up to my chest, I skipped a breath.

"This cloak isn't mine," he said, bending his face down close to mine. "It's yours." He breathed in my ear, making me shiver once again. He pressed the cloak closer to my chest and was now so close to me that we could have been kissing. I looked up into his eyes, swallowed and nodded; frantically trying to think of something intelligent to say, but the words never came to me, and he didn't wait for them. He just gave me one long stare and then walked away.

I was so confused then, I just stood there and my eyes began to water, becoming increasingly red. It wasn't just because of Draco that I seemed to break down at that moment; it was more like my whole life. I couldn't seem to find anything good about it at the time. All I saw were the horrible aspects, I mean how would you feel, standing in a dark corridor, holding onto a black cloak that belonged to someone you were finding more and more attractive by the day. And how would you feel if you knew that person could never have the same feelings for you, what if you thought you had no friends to comfort you? How would react when you went back inside and all you saw was love? It was surrounding you but not touching you and you felt as if there was nothing you could do to change that.

That's how I felt when I entered the common room again a few minutes later. Ron and Hermione had taken advantage of the empty room and were snuggled up on the couch in front of the fireplace, Hermione had her eyes closed and was leaning on Ron's shoulder.

"Shhh." Ron said when I came in and then pointed towards Hermione. My eyes were still red and puffy from my outburst in the corridor but Ron didn't seem to notice, he never seemed to notice me anymore and that just made the tears come again. All I wanted to do was run upstairs and hide in my room, but then I looked outside and saw the snow blowing around and I could almost feel the cold seeping through the stone walls, for some reason I found it oddly inviting, so I headed out again, towards the front entrance.

I let the tears flow freely as I walked down the empty hallway, I was thinking about all the times somebody had ignored me, all the times I had humiliated myself. Every time I had done something stupid and hidden in my shell, the one I always retreated to when anything went wrong.

By the time I got down to the main hall though, the tears were just there because I needed to cry, I had to let out all my grief and get over it, because, no matter how much I tried to block it out, there was a little voice in the back of my head saying, "But how then, Ginny, did Ron and Hermione find you yesterday if they didn't care? And what about Georgia, does she not care for you?"

And even further back I could hear Dumbledore's calming voice talking to me at the end of my first year, "That may be how you feel now, Virginia, but do not forget that there is always hope, you are the one who decides how you feel and who you are, don't you ever forget that."

I wiped the tears away and attempted to hold my head high. I was a Weasley after all and Weasley's aren't ashamed of anything.

I was standing in the middle of the front entrance, trying to blink my last tears away when I saw Draco heading out of the library. I caught his eye and he nodded in my direction, I nodded back, trying to be polite. But then I thought better of it and called after him.

"Draco!" I called, running up to him and grabbing his arm, this was a slow process considering I had his long cloak on which was difficult to walk in, let alone run. My face was still red and blotchy, but I couldn't have cared less then.

"Weasley," Draco said, his eyes looking unusually soft; Although that might've been because my eyes were still puffy and watery and it was difficult to see properly.

"Why?" I whispered looking up at him, it was such a simple question to ask, but the answer seemed so important to me. I wanted him to confess that he had feelings for me, I wanted him to be my Prince and sweep me off my feet, I wanted him to pamper and love me. I wiped the last tears away from my cheeks and waited for an answer.

Draco's eyes hardened and his expression turned from mild interest to disgust and dislike. He looked me over with one ominous sweep of his eyes and then rested them on my face again. "Why do you think," He spat, turning around and heading in the direction of the dungeons.

I don't know what possessed me then, all I can remember thinking about was that his answer wasn't good enough, and so deciding to be blind and ignore the warnings in my head, I followed him.

**