White Wolfs Lair

White Wolfs Lair

27^th.9.04

Know it all, brain box, bookworm and mudblood, names I have been called during my time here. There will be others that I haven't heard or either. Now in my final year at Hogwarts school of Witch Craft and Wizardry I have decided to keep a diary, to keep track of the events that take place each day. I have also decided to do something about my social life, which is non-existent at the moment. I know that Lavender and Pavarti talk about me behind my back. They speak of how I am 18 and have yet to have kissed a boy (that is true), they also think I know nothing of sex. I know what it is, but I have never had the experience. I must admit when it comes to sex, books don't compare to say a practical lesson. Being the only girl in my year in my house that has still got her virginity never used to bother me, but now, now it does. I never used to care what other people thought. I had books. Books took away my pain and sorrow of being 18 and still innocent. But books can't take away the insecurity. My insecurity follows me round like a shadow and the only way to get rid of a shadow is to step into the light. So this year I am going to step into the light and change how the world looks at me. I will no longer be Hermione Granger bookworm. I will be Hermione Granger and normal 18-year-old girl.

It's not wrong to be 18 and want to be kissed is it? I want to be kissed the way Harry kisses Ginny; he looks like there is nothing else in the world but her. That's what I want. I want to be looked at the way boys look at Pavarti when she walks into the hall. I never thought I'd say this, but books cannot help me now. I must do this alone. A journey one does not return from the same person.

The thing is the person, who I want, is probably the hardest to get. I have watched for the last 2 years now and each time I see him I like what I see even more. I am the rabbit and he the white wolf can it possibly work?

1^st.10.04

Like a white wolf he sits his table. Like a hawk he watches everyone. Girls and his friends surround him. He is never left alone. I knew that he could see me watching him, but I couldn't help myself. The temptation was too much.

I watched him as I ate my Shepards pie.

I watched him as I ate my Yorkshire pudding,

I watched him as I drunk my pumpkin juice and

I watched him as I pretended to read.

My eyes tracked his every move. Like a swan he was graceful. Yet I knew that he was a man (or boy I do not know which) who knew what he was doing and his actions were carefully calculated. To do something deceitful no doubt. But that is where the attraction deepens; he is so different from my two best friends. As he sits at the table and sips at his goblet he remains poised and haughty. Each girl comes up to him with the hope of a smile or a touch. He lets them all down not gently, that wouldn't be his style. Now that I was watching him closely like under a microscope I noticed how pale his skin (skin like silk) was and that bags were under his eyes. Yet even still he was handsome and god like. I watched long slender fingers curl around the goblet. He slowly and seducingly brought the goblet to his pink and inviting lips. Grey eyes flickered my way as he sipped at his goblet. I held his stare as if presenting a challenge. He suddenly smiled and spat out his pumpkin juice (all over a second year girl who ran screaming from the hall) and laughed. He pointed at me and all the Slytherins at the table turned to stare. I looked at where they were pointing and realised that I'd tipped someone's cold soup all over my robes and homework. I must have slipped my elbow in ti. I quickly got up and bright red I ran from the hall. Knowing that I had just made a fool of myself I ran to the prefects bathroom and cried a waterfall of tears. Why was the white wolf irresistible to the rabbit?