Muggle Camp

Chapter 8 - Markie and Biftas

Ron couldn't help but let a gasp escape his already out-of -breath mouth. It was massive. High and long, the shed loomed just ahead of him, a huge corrugated iron structure. You could have stored 10 fully loaded passenger planes in there.

'FLIGHT! RIGHT WHEEL!' came a distant voice. He automatically snapped his head round to the right and started to wheel there, following the rest of the flight. CPL Ebbs had taught them all the basics of marching; starting, stopping, changing direction, (or 'wheeling' as she called it), and halting.

'FLIGHT! HALT!' roared CPL Ebbs. Check, in! Ron thought to himself as he tried to halt in time with the rest of Delta flight but failed miserably. My feet are just too big for this he thought to himself. Even Hermione thinks I am uncoordinated he thought with a pang. Why did he always have to annoy Hermione so much? Women!

'Welcome to the shed!' said CPL Ebbs, bringing Ron back to Earth. 'Please give me the absolute pleasure of dressing you in something...er...' she said a disapproving look at Hermione, who scowled, 'er...decent!' Ron laughed quietly but Hermione with her cat-like ears heard and look scandalous. He mentally scolded himself for being such a prat.

'If you could please form a queue in front of the door you will be fitted and dressed. I look forward to seeing you,' she said in a mysterious voice, 'on the other side...' She opened hers eyes widely and gave them a curious little smile. Then she spun around and walked through the door she had just indicated.

'Wow! This place is massive!' said Harry in awe as soon as she left.

'Yeh!' Ron replied in equal awe. 'What d'you think they keep in there?'

'Dunno but it has to be good!' said Harry. 'Come on let's check it out.'

'You coming Hermione?' Ron asked, but Hermione was already at the door. He shrugged at Harry and they both went to be transformed into mini-soldiers.

*

Hermione was so furious at Ron. He could be such a prick sometimes! Ok, maybe she had over-reacted a little bit - A lot! she thought irritably to herself - but that was no reason for him to be so damn sexy! I meant annoying! She reminded herself angrily. She stopped as she realised she was first to reach the small metal door installed in the huge monstrosity that was the shed.

'Come in!' called a voice from inside. Shrugging, she stepped inside to see a kind of reception desk.

'Shut the door behind you please,' said the man behind the desk whose back was turned. She shut the door and turned back to have a closer look. The floor was a dingy and the sad grey of concrete. The corrugated iron walls were nearly entirely covered with posters of half-naked woman and planes, and she could see a fat, baldy man in uniform, smoking a cigarette in the doorway that was opposite to the one she had just come in.

'Hi!' said the man behind the desk and Hermione choked.

'Er...hi!' she managed through heavy breathing. Behind the desk stood a boy of about seventeen or eighteen; he was tall, with peroxide blonde hair that he had gelled to make it look like he had just gotten off a surf board. His uniform clung tightly to his body showing off his strong chest and burly muscles. Hermione slapped herself mentally.

'Nice to see such a beautiful girl enter my quarters,' he said suavely and Hermione's heart melted on the spot. She blushed crimson.

'Yeh...thanks...' she breathed. She couldn't understand how anyone could be so hot!

'So I guess you'll be wanting a uniform.' His voice was melodious and sweet.

'Erm..yeh,' she said, feeling stupider by the minute.

'Just wait here a second and I'll see what I can do.' He gave a roguish wink and walked through a faded curtain at the back of the reception desk.

Hermione got her breath back and turned her attention to the man in the doorway.

''iya queen. Fancy a bifta?'

'Er..what?' said Hermione repulsively.

'A bifta love!' he replied, waving his half-finished cigarette in her direction.

'Erm...no thanks,' she replied, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

'I saw you just then givin' our Markie the eye. You stay away from im' you 'ear? You're too good for im'! A pretty lass like such as yerself. Mark my words there'll be hell to pay if you go near him. 'E just latches onto the next bird 'e sees. Trust me when I say this and you'll be alright, k queen?'

'Erm...yeh...' said Hermione, not understanding a single word he had just said.

'Here we are love,' came a voice from behind the faded curtain. Next minute he emerged as gorgeous as ever with a shopping trolley full of clothes and other items, at his side. 'Now the changing rooms are on your left as you go out of that door,' he pointed at the door the fat man was sitting in, 'and you can change into your gear there. If you could just open the door and shout the next person through, that would be great.' He smiled cutely at her. 'It was nice to meet you miss...

'Granger!' she said quickly. 'Er...Hermione Granger.'

'Well Mya I hope we have the pleasure of meeting again. I'm Mark but people call me Markie.' He extended his hand for her to shake. She took it and he pulled her towards him, kissing her hand and then pulling her closer still, both cheeks. She blushed furiously.

'You too,' she said weakly and walked to the door she had come in.

After telling the next person they could enter, she took hold of the shopping trolley and walked towards the door opposite, bypassing the smoking man. Before she knew it, he had grabbed her and was whispering in her ear.

'I've warned yer love. Stay away from our Markie, e'll break yer 'art.' He let go of her and tapped his nose knowingly. Horrified she walked towards the changing room to transform herself into a soldier.

*

Ron looked in the stained and scratched mirror at himself. He had to admit, brown wasn't his favourite colour, but the uniform sure did suit his frame. He smiled and looked at the diagram on the wall of the guy's change room, checking he matched the picture; brown calf length lace-up boots, camouflage pants, green belt, camouflage shirt and beret. As soon as he was sure everything was correct he stepped outside and caught site of Hermione and smiled happily. This was how he liked her; her hair was tied up in a tight bun and her beret was balanced on top of her head. Her make-up had been removed, (the sign in the girls change room must have said it was forbidden), and she was looking unexplainably happy. Hm, I wonder why...

'Hey Hermione' he said sheepishly, knowing how angry she would be with him.

'Hm...' she said, smiling serenely.

'Erm...well...' said Ron, put off by her lack of reaction. 'I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to offend you before.'

'What? Oh that's ok...it doesn't matter now,' she said, sounding more like Luna Lovegood than herself.

'Are you ok Hermione?' he asked in concern.

'Oh yes!' she said vehemently.

'Ok...Well I'm just going to stand on my head while pigs fly between my legs.'

'Hm? Sure, what ever you say!' and she continued to smile serenely.

Ron frowned concernedly. 'Are you sure you're alright Hermione?'

'Yes yes!' she said suddenly as if snapping out of a trance. 'Yes sorry. I was just thinking about something.'

'Oh, ok, if you say so,' said Ron, still looking concerned. He shrugged and turned away to look at Harry who had just emerged from the changing rooms looking awkward.

'Woo woooo!' Ron shouted at him with a laugh and Harry laughed in return.

'Don't I look handsome,' replied Harry in a girls voice, batting his eyelashes and twirling on the spot.

'Of course you do mate!' said Seamus behind him. 'You're pushing my buttons anyway.'

Ron laughed along with Harry and Hermione. 'Yeh, and Hermione that's better so much better!'

'What is?' asked Hermione as she stopped laughing.

'Well the way you're dressed now! You looked like such a slapper before!'

Ron realised what he said about a second before Hermione slapped him.

'YOU!' she said looking furious. 'YOU...' she looked as though she was about to burst. 'IF YOU TALK TO ME AGAIN EVEN ONCE MORE THIS WEEK I WILL LITERALLY RIP OFF YOUR FACE AND FEED IT TO ONE OF THE MILITARY POLICE DOGS!' and with that, she marched off.

Lavender Brown and Parvarti Patil walked over and stuck their noses up at Ron angrily.

'You are,' started Lavendar, 'the most tactless person I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.'

'Yeh!' reinforced Parvati, and they walked over to where Hermione was standing to comfort her.

Ron stood there looking horrified. How could he have been so tactless?

'Seriously Ron, if you carry on like this I don't think your ever gunna get her to love you.mate'

'Fuck off Seamus!' he said angrily and started to walk off towards the change room

'Excuse me Mr Weasley, did I just hear you correctly?' said a voice from behind him.

Holy. Crap.

He froze. That was a voice he knew well, and it was the one person he didn't want most to hear him swearing so violently at someone. He spun around to catch the disappointed expression of Professor Dumbledore.

'Yes sir,' he said with his head bowed.

Ron looked up surprised when he heard Dumbledore laughing. 'You know Mr Weasley,' he started, looking amused, 'I know it is inevitable that a person vents their anger every once in a while, but,' he lowered his voice, 'try not to do it so publicly.'

'Yes Professor.'

'Now go and join your group, they are waiting for you.'

It was true that everyone was staring at him; some in pity, some in anger and some in delight at him being caught swearing. He could still see Hermione slumped against her trolley with her head in her hands. She was shuddering slight. Surely she wasn't crying...

'Yes sir.'

'That's a good boy. Go and join them then, I'm sure they'll want to know how much trouble you got in.' He gave Ron a small wink and walked over to the shed.

Ron walked back to Seamus and help out his hand. 'Sorry mate.'

'No problemo,' said Seamus, shaking Ron's outstretched hand, 'I was bang out of order.'

'Nah I was. I am so pathetic.' He slumped down and leaned his trolley with his head in his hands.

'You're not pathetic Ron. You're just crap when it comes to birds...sorry!' said Seamus from above his head. Too right he was. Especially Hermione.

'What did Dumbledore say?' he heard Harry ask from somewhere above him.

'Huh?' he replied, lifting his head. 'Oh, just the crap he usually spouts. Sorry I'm not in a very good mood at the moment.'

'We figured,' said Harry with a smile.

'Can I have your attention please?' Ron looked up to see that weirdo guy that worked in the reception of the shed walk up and stand in front of the group.

'Can I please have Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger come forward?' Ron sighed. Hermione. She was the main source of his ever worsening fall into depression. He wanted his mum.

*

Hermione looked up as she heard that familiar beautiful voice calling her name.

'Hermione, I think that guy from the shed is calling you,' she heard Parvati say to her soothingly. They could be quite nice when they wanted to be.

'Yes, okay.' She wiped her eyes on her shirt and accepted Lavendar and Parvati's offered hands, which pulled her up gracefully. She smiled at them and started off towards Markie who was standing near Harry, Seamus and Ron, who was sitting slumped against his trolley. She could hear Lavendar and Parvati in the background, ('Oh my God! He is so hot' and 'Oh I know!')

It was starting to warm up a bit now but it was still chilly. She shivered.

'Cold?' asked Markie concernedly.

'Er...yeh, a little,' she said uncomfortably. She just couldn't talk to him - she was not worthy!

'I can see that.' He smiled at her beautifully. 'Here, have this,' he said pulling off his jacket and handing it too her.

'Oh no, really! That's ok,' she said stunned.

'No, please take it. You need it more than I do.' He put his arms over her head and spread the jacket open behind her to slip her hands into.

'Thanks,' she said as she slipped her arms in, so close to his chest. He pulled the jacket round to her front to straighten it, brushed his hands across her chest as he did, and let go. She shivered again, but this time not out of coldness.

'No problem,' he said smiling again. The jacket was way too big for her, but she didn't mind. It smelled of spicy pepper, smoke and citrus. 'Ah and you must be Draco.'

'Yeh, Malfoy,' he added with a sneer.

'Right er...Malfoy,' Markie said with an eyebrow raised. Hermione sniggered appreciatively.

'Think my name is funny do you muggle?' said Malfoy, who was grinding his teeth.

'Er...yeh why?' said Markie coolly.

'Because...' Hermione watched as Malfoy reached into his pocket and realised his wand wasn't there.

'Because what?' said Markie.

'Nothing,' Malfoy replied furiously and Hermione sniggered again.

'Good, and if you're gunna call me a name, muggle a pretty crap one if you ask me. Find something more useful like little shite,' he said poking Malfoy aggressively. 'Anyway as I was about to say before I was rudely interrupted,' he shot a scathing look at Malfoy who looked as though he was about to explode, 'was that as leaders of your group, you get to wear these.'

Hermione's smile widened. He was holding out some rank slides with two chevrons on them. She was going to be a CPL just like Ebbs.

'I'm glad you like them Mya. Run along Drunko!'

Malfoy shot one more furious look at Markie, snatched the slides, and then stormed off towards Crabbe and Goyle. 'Man what an ass!' said Markie'

'Yeh I know.' They stared at each other for a second.

'Well I better...get back,' said Hermione awkwardly.

'Actually I was wondering if I could ask you something Mya.' Hermione's heart stopped. 'Well you're not supposed to know but after you graduate next week, you are going to have a graduation party to celebrate and well...I was wondering if I could have the pleasure of accompanying you.'

Hermione couldn't breathe.

'Well?'

She couldn't say anything either.

'Oh ok. That's fine if you have someone else in mind...' Markie said looking rejected.

'Yes!' she blurted out finally finding her tongue.

'Great. I'll see you around then Mya.' He leaned down and kissed her cheek softly. Then he strode off towards the shed.

She turned around. Everyone was looking her, but she didn't care.