Muggle Camp

Chapter 7 - Teamwork and Discipline and Drill... Oh My!

'Want a hand?' Harry asked genuinely.

'Oh yes. Thanks a lot,' said Hermione. She had a lot of bags and they were heavy - all part of operation change-Hermione-beyond-recognition which was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth.

'They're just out here,' she said as she walked down the corridor of the dorm.

'Are you alright?' said Harry looking concerned.

'Yeh, just a little flustered. Oh I swear one day...he's just so impossible!' she was so angry. She had a right to be, he was just such an impossible person to work with.

'Sometimes I wish I'd never become friends with him, you know that?'

'Oh come off it! You don't really mean that do you?'

'Oh of course not...but really!'

'So are you going to tell him about the experiment?'

'No,' she said defiantly, 'no, make him suffer!'

'That's not very fair!'

'Neither is he. I can play by his rules if he so wishes.'

She bent down to pick up one of her bags and waited for Harry to pick up the other two. She walked down the end of the corridor, passing Ron on the way and completely ignoring him. She opened the door and dumped her bag on the bed closest to her. She sat down hard, put her head in her hands, and sighed. It was hopeless - hopeless and impossible.

'Er...Hermione?'

She looked up to see Harry standing in the doorway looking awkward. She knew what she wanted at the moment and she was going to get it.

'Thanks very much Harry. You're a true friend.'

She dropped the bag at her feet, flung her arms around Harry, and hugged him hard.

*

'It's so bloody cold!' moaned Ron who was shivering freely, his teeth chattering.

'Yeah, I noticed,' replied Harry blandly. They were standing outside again on the freezing bitumen. He looked down at his watch - it was six am.

'GOOD MORNING CADETS!'

Harry jumped and so did many of the others. In front of them stood a tall, stocky woman with long red-violet hair which she wore up in a tight bun. She had a pretty face and couldn't be much older than they were. He took in her clothing quickly - a typical army looking one with a green jumper, maroon beret, and severe-looking black boots. She had a mixed accent that he couldn't pick.

'My name...' she paused and took in the group of sixth years before her, 'is Corporal Ebbs and I will be your cadet training instructor for the next week. When you are not with Miss McGonagall, you will be working with me doing basic drill, teamwork exercises, basic weaponry training and you may even have the chance to look at some of the aircraft on base. We shall see...' she smiled at the group, most of who looked confused at what she had said.

'As a senior non-commissioned officer, you will treat me with the respect I deserve. There will be no need to salute me, but you must respect the chain-of-command which we hold here on Base. If you treat me with the respect I deserve, then I will do the same unto you. I can be your friend or foe...the choice is yours.'

She was pacing up and down in front of them, but suddenly stopped in the middle of the group.

'DO YOU UNDERSTAND?' she screamed at them.

There was a murmur of yes from the group which was immediately met with a reprimand.

'As a group of cadets you must work as a team. If I ask you a question you must answer as a team. Yes CPL Ebbs or No CPL Ebbs will suffice. So...do you understand?'

'Yes CPL Ebbs,' Harry murmured with the rest of the group. He really wasn't in the mood for this. It was like being back in defense against the dark arts with Professor Umbridge.

'DO YOU NOT HAVE BALLS? I ASKED IF YOU UNDERSTOOD!'

'Yes CPL Ebbs!' Harry shouted. This was quite fun - venting the anger and all.

'LOUDER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?'

'YES CPL EBBS!' Harry roared with enthusiasm. He liked her already - she was his kind of person.

'That's better!' she said smiling at them all. 'Now before anything else we need to get you kitted out to look like proper cadets.'

Kitted out? Was she going to make them wear uniforms?

'In order to do this I must take you to 'The Shed'. The Shed is a building on the far end of the base, close to the airfield that contains all of our uniform stocks. There you will be issued uniform and boots to equip you for the rest of your stay. You will be issued two sets of work uniform, one set of bivouac uniform and one set of dress uniform. Does anyone have any questions?'

'Yeah! Why do we have to wear stupid looking uniforms when we have other clothes with us?' Ron said loudly. Harry saw that he was still in a bad mood and the prospect of being dolled up to look like a soldier obviously didn't enthuse him.

'Ron!' said Hermione sharply.

'Shut up you!' he hissed back

'Don't you tell me to shut up Weasley!' she said across Harry.

'I'll do what I want thank you very much!'

'Well guess what Ron, I'm a prefect and therefore...

'Ahem...' Harry looked up surprised. He had been so caught up in what he though must have been the millionth argument they had had since they arrived, that he totally forgot where they were. They obviously had as well.

'I think...' she said delightedly, 'we have our first test subjects!'

Test subjects?

'And you two are?'

'Ron Weasley and...,' said Ron dryly.

'Hermione Ganger!' she interrupted huffily.

'Well Weasley and Granger please come here to the front of the flight. Oh and for reference, a group of people in the air force is called a flight.'

They stepped forward sheepishly, glaring at each other manically.

'Cadets Weasley and Granger are to be the subjects of a new teamwork experiment I have been willing to try for some time. As you two are, well, less than friendly to each other, I think it is about time you learned to get on together.'

'I think that that is an excellent idea CPL,' said a cold voice behind them. Harry turned so quickly that he cricked his neck painfully. Snape was standing behind them, next to a blonde woman he had never seen before. He was looking malevolent as ever with a satisfied smile on his face; his arms where folded and he was tapping his foot on the bitumen. 'Weasley and Granger are impossible together, being the complete opposite of each other. Although you know what they say about opposites attracting...let's just hope that Potter doesn't get too jealous.' The Slytherins laughed appreciatively.

'Thank you Mr Snape. As time is getting on we will have to wait for me to explain my experiment.' She looked sadly at them as if she was missing out on something entertaining. 'I am now going to separate you into two different groups or 'flights'. You will stay in these for the remainder of the camp. They will be called Flight Alpha and Flight Bravo. May I please have the cadets who's last names span from A - J on my left and the rest of you on my right?'

Harry shuffled to the right with Ron, praising God that at least he was with Ron in these flight things.

'Oh no you don't!' she shouted. Harry turned to see Ebbs pointing at Hermione who looked utterly bewildered. 'No you need to be in the same flight as Weasel over here for our...er...experiment. Let me see...you can swap with...this man here.' Harry laughed in relief as she pointed at Malfoy. Maybe this wasn't going to be that bad after all.

'So A-K's you are flight Alpha and will be working with CPL Field who is standing behind us and I will be working with you guys.' Harry smiled as she turned to them. 'We are going to be Delta flight.'

'Why not Bravo CPL,' asked Hermione.

'Because I like Delta better,' she said smilingly.

Harry watched her carefully. She had a very intoxicating smile that reached her eyes. 'As an answer to your earlier question Weasel, the reason that we in the forces wear uniform is to form the basis of teamwork and discipline,' said CPL Ebbs.

Ron rolled his eyes. 'If I hear the words teamwork and discipline one more time I swear...'

'But Weasel, teamwork and discipline are some of the most important things in life. I'm sure if you think hard enough you can think of a situation where you have had to work with other people to get the best result.'

Ron snorted loudly, but earned a reproachful glare from Hermione's direction. 'How can you say that!' she said huffily. 'What about the Philosopher's Stone...or the Chamber of Secrets...OR, what about the Triwizard Tornament? God you can be so dim sometimes,' she said exasperately and then clapped her hand over her mouth as she realised what she had said. 'Just assignments we did at school CPL Ebbs' she said hastily.

Ron just rolled his eyes again.

'As I was saying,' she continued with a curious look in Hermione's direction, 'the reason we have uniforms is to create unity within the ranks. They also have their practical uses such as being hardwearing and also for camouflage. They are designed for the jobs we do here.

'Therefore, we need to get you all some uniforms.' She looked very excited at the prospect.

Harry tuned out and looked at the sky. It was a cloudy grey - the kind you get on a very miserable day. He could hear the birds singing in the trees. He hadn't noticed them before but now that he did they were intensely annoying. He tried to focus on the conversation at hand.

'...need to march over to the shed. Now if you all focus your attention on myself and CPL Field, we are going to give you a quick demonstration of marching so you can learn how to do it yourself.'

She turned around and walked over to CPL Field where she whispered something in her ear. She gave a little giggle and they both shot a sideways look at Harry. At Harry? No it must have been at the flight. Harry was imagining things. Wishful thinking, he thought with a grin.

'What you smiling at?' said Ron huffily.

'Oh...nothing...' he replied, '...just think thinking about something.'

At that moment she turned with CPL Field, who addressed the group; 'CPL Ebbs and I are going to now give you a demonstration of marching.' She had a ringing voice - the kind that caught your attention immediately.

She turned to her colleague. 'Ready?' he heard her ask.

'Sure,' replied CPL Ebbs enthusiastically.

'FLIGHT!' she roared. 'QUICK MARCH!'

Immediately, CPL Field started to march. Nearly everyone laughed and Ron even started a rendition of 'We're in the army now'.

'This is ridiculous! I'm not going to be made to look like a prat! I refuse!'

'All this teamwork and discipline and drill; it's a load of bollucks!' Harry heard Seamus shout in a carrying voice.

'Bollucks is it Mr...?' shouted CPL Ebbs in a loud menacing voice that was very different from the light and amused tone that she had used before.

'Finnigan. Seamus Finnigan...' he said in an uncanny impression of James Bond (Harry remember him saying his mum was a fan). He raised his eyebrows a few times and twirled his hands dramatically to renewed laughter.

'Finnigan,' she said in a cool calm voice. 'Bollocks. Okay I can deal with that. Please raise your hand if you think we should hang Mr Finnigan from the flag pole over there by his bollucks?' Everyone burst out laughing and the Slytherins jumped up and down with their hands in the air gleefully.

'No, I agree with the majority - that would be too much effort on my part. Do you think we are fools Finnigan, because if you do, I find that incredibly insulting.' She put out her finger and beckoned him seductively. 'Come out here to the front of the flight if you think you're so smart.' Seamus, who looked a bit red, walked out to the front of the flight trying to look cool.

'No Finnigan, we are not fools and therefore if you cannot recognise a fool then I am going to have to teach you what one is - for the benefit of your own education of course.' She fished in her pocket for something and in finding it, pulled it out and kept it concealed in her hand. 'Now Finnigan, close your eyes please.'

He kept them open defiantly.

'If you do not close your eyes then I will really hang you from the flag pole by your bollucks. Now close them!' she said menacingly.

He closed his eyes. She opened her hand to reveal what looked like a marker of some sort. She took off the lid and proceeded to write something on his forehead. Seamus stood defiantly still, obviously trying to look as if he could take anything she threw at him. She finished and recapped the pen, replacing it into one of her many pockets. Taking him by the shoulders she spun him around revealing writing on his forehead that spelled out a word in big black letters...

BOLLUCKS.

'Now that Finnigan, really is bollucks.'

Harry nearly stopped breathing. Everyone was rolling around on the floor (Dean, Ron, and Neville literally) from laughter. Harry managed to turn to Hermione who was standing looking stony faced and disgusted beside him. 'Oh come on Hermione! That was funny!'

'Assault! That's bloody assault that is!' Seamus shouted indignantly when he had realized what she had done to him.

'I know,' she said looking forlorn, 'but what are you going to do about it?' she said turning to her friend who had burst out laughing..

'No it wasn't,' Hermione started in response to Harry's comment, 'it was bastardization.'

'Watch your language Hermione!' said Ron in mock seriousness, grabbing Harry's outstretched hand to hoist himself off the floor

'OH FOR GOD'S SAKE RON, JUST PISS OFF!' she screamed at him

'My, my Miss Granger, you certainly are good at gaining the attention of the class.' Professor McGonagall was marching over to them looking thin-lipped and irritable. 'I will speak with you and Ron again afterwards. Mr Finnigan, what is that on your forehead?'

'Oh that was me Miss McGonagall. I was just teaching a lesson in respect and discipline,' said CPL Ebbs in a firm voice.

'Very well,' said Professor McGonagall still looking thin-lipped, 'continue. I was just here to observe and to offer a hand if you need one.'

'Thank you very much Miss McGonagall.' She turned to the sixth years.

'Shall we turn you into soldiers then?'

'YES CPL EBBS!' they roared enthusiastically.

'Much better!' she said with a satisfied smile.