His Memories

His Memories

Chapter Two

Keep it in your heart...

* * * *
* A lesson * * learned *
* a loving God, and * * things in their own *
* time. In nothing more do I trust. We own nothing. *
* nothing is ours. Not even love so fierce it burns like *
* baby stars. But this poverty is our greatest gift. The *
* weightlessness of us as things around begin to shift. *
* Remember everything I told you, keep it in your *
* heart like a stone. And when the winds have *
* blown things round and back again. *
* What was once your pain will *
* be your home. Everything *
* in its own time *
* ~~~~ *
*

~ Everything in Its Own Time, Emily Sailers

Even before Draco put his wand away, Ginny stood up and was rushing toward him. It had taken a great deal of energy for Draco to perform the curse, and, as a result, Ginny easily forced him against a tree.

"You idiot, you could have hit me with that curse! What the hell were you thinking?" Ginny was up on her toes and just inches from Draco's face. Her eyes pierced his gaze, which was made silver as his eyes began to water. It was the only indication that he might have been regretting what he'd done. As Ginny held him there she could feel his heart beating rapidly in time with hers. Draco's eyes fell upon Ginny's mouth; his tongue wet his lips as he suggestively flicked his chin and leaned forward. She had no intention of kissing him though the temptation was overwhelming.

Ginny's eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed. He's just trying to manipulate me, she thought.

"Virginia, I--"

"Don't you 'Virginia' me. You're just lucky that a killing curse doesn't work on an inanimate object." Ginny finally released her grasp and leaned down to pick up the diary. As she did, a cold tingle coursed through her body. Draco was behind her as she stood up. He said nothing, but she could feel his warmth as he ran his hand down her arm.

"Open it," he said leaning closer and whispering in her ear. All of the pages looked the same as they had before.

"Why?" she asked. "I don't see anything."

Draco handed her a quill he'd taken out of her bag. With the small amount of ink that was still in the tip, she wrote "Harry" in the diary. She stared at the page for several seconds waiting for the words to dissolve, and for Harry to respond.

"What's going on?" She tried again, but nothing happened.

"The killing curse banishes all signs of life from a sentient being or object," Draco stated in a flat, chilling tone; he sounded like he was reciting it from memory. It must have been how his father explained it to him. "That includes the beating of a heart, breathing, and thinking."

"But..." Ginny wrote Harry's name a third time, and the only result was that the page now read "Harry Harry Harry". Her heart sank as Draco's betrayal became clear. "I can't believe I ever trusted you. The diary was right." Ginny ran from the clearing, not looking back. Ahead of her was the forest that seemed harmless ten minutes ago, or at least less frightening with Draco at her side.

Draco. He had always promised to be there for her; and after Harry died, Draco was the only one she could open up to. "He's dangerous, Ginny, and I don't want to see my only daughter hurt," her mother would tell her.

She should have listened.

The forest was darker now. She took notice of things that hadn't frightened her before. Large trees could hide terrible creatures waiting to pounce on her; faint shadows from the low bushes blanked her path like hundreds of Lethifolds. And the smell. The Dark Forest had a distinct odor, and on the right days you could smell it throughout the castle. Now that she was in the forest, the concentrated acrid smell permeated her mouth and nostrils and wove itself into the fabric of her cloak. Any sounds she made were swallowed up in the shadows, leaving only the low-pitched moan of the wind blowing through the canopy above.

In her mind, Draco's remorseless voice echoed his empty apology. I'm sorry.

"How could you just apologize?" she tried to yell, but her throat wouldn't let her say more than "How--". Draco knew how important protecting the diary was, and still he wanted to destroy it. How, she thought, but this time she began scolding herself for trusting him. The diary warned her too many times and she just wouldn't listen.

After ten minutes of running, her breathing became more rapid, and her body tensed as she realized that she was no closer to the edge of the forest than when she started out. Sweat was beading on her brow, dripping down her cheek and mixing with tears. Her vision was becoming hindered, until finally she failed to see the tree root just ahead. It caught the heel of her shoe, pulling it off as she fell forward. She landed first on her knees, but the inertia from her fall propelled the rest of her body forward. With her hands still firmly grasping the diary, her shoulder hit the ground before she finally came to a halt.

It seemed like hours, but her fall took place in a matter of seconds. Now the sound of her heartbeat was louder than the wind in the trees. Slowly, she removed one hand from the diary and pushed herself to a sitting position. As she wiped away the tears from her face, she felt the dirt abrade her skin.

Sighing deeply, she glanced down at the diary in her left hand. "No, it can't be," she whispered, placing her right palm over the diary. It still didn't feel any different, although she knew that if she opened it, she would see Harry's name three times in her handwriting.

"Why did you do it?" Ginny finally cried out, but this time her voice seemed to echo, at least in her ears.

"Virginia, I had to." Draco's voice startled to her. All she wanted was to ignore it and keep running.

"You didn't have to do anything," she sobbed, tucking a moist tendril of hair behind her ear.

"Will you let me explain?" he asked. She could still sense the insincerity in his voice.

"Was it all a lie, Draco?" But before she finished her question she realized that he probably wouldn't answer truthfully. He couldn't be trusted anymore. She heard him breathe in just as he was about to answer, but she put her hand up to his mouth to stop him. Taking it as a sign of affection, he leaned into her gentle touch before moving his own hand up to her chin. Ginny screwed her eyes shut forcing more tears to fall down her cheeks. Draco wiped them away, and for a brief moment she felt herself wanting to forget what had just happened. But when Draco asked her to open her eyes, her mind was brought back to reality, and the expression on his face was still cold.

"I love you, Virginia, and I'm sorry," he said softly, then pulled the diary from her hands. Against her better judgment, she let him open it. He found the page she had written on; there was still no change. The tears that had dripped from her chin onto the page merely saturated it, and caused the ink to run.

"If you're trying to make me feel worse, you've succeeded."

"That's not it at all," said Draco defensively while still maintaining a frigid façade. At this, Ginny forced herself to look him squarely in the face in the hopes that she could break through the barrier he had erected.

"I don't believe you." She raised her head in defiance, determined to prove that he had not won. "I've become too comfortable with your manipulation. I always tried to look past it because I believed there was something good in you that you only let a few people see. I guess I was wrong." Ginny reached for her shoe, but Draco caught her hand. "Let go!"

"No."

"Do you know that at least once a week my brother tells me that I should just forget you exist? Two years. We've been together for two years, and still he hasn't warmed up to you. Don't you think that's odd? Maybe I should trust my brother for once now that you've proved what you really are." Ginny was boiling over with emotion, and was almost regretting saying the things she did. If Draco was truly sorry he would try to defend himself, or at least give her a sincere apology, but he simply accepted the verbal abuse.

Draco withdrew his hand and stood up, still holding the diary. He remained at her side for a few moments before Ginny finally spoke.

"Just leave me," she whispered. "I'd rather take my chances with the forest."

Immediately she sensed that he had left her. "Draco?" There was no answer. He was gone, and so was the diary.

When she finished tying her shoe, she stood up again. The forest awaited.

Empty-handed and completely alone, Ginny started walking; slowly at first, then as she became more sure of her footing she sped up. But it didn't matter because she was wandering in circles following the lightest patches and passing the same trees more than twice. Her mind was racing; she was furious with Draco, furious with herself for not believing the diary, and now it was too late.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, thinking of Harry and the promise. He chose her to protect the diary, and she failed.

==============================

"Harry was dying," Dumbledore said flatly, folding his hands and resting them on top of the red leather book in front of him. It was only a week ago that she had explained to the diary how Harry died, and now Dumbledore was finally going to explain what happened and why Harry had given it to her. Ginny calmly sat in a chair in front of the Headmaster's desk. On either side of her sat her parents; they each had an arm around her.

"How?" Ginny leaned forward in her chair.

"A potion." The color in Ginny's face drained away. "We believe it was put into his food at the Leaky Cauldron they day he bought his school supplies. According to Professor Snape, he had three months, but Harry noticed the symptoms immediately."

Ginny gasped, remembering how Harry behaved that day on the train.

Dumbledore continued. "So we created this diary in order to preserve the one means of protection Harry had against Voldemort."

Ginny felt her mother flinch at the mention of the dark wizard's name while her father remained steady.

"What good will it do now that Harry is -- dead?" Ginny couldn't believe the irony. If only that protection extended to the others who wanted him dead.

"When Harry's blood was used to give Voldemort back his body, the protection his mother left with him was passed on to the dark wizard. Even I believed it to be a well thought out plan, but what Lily left with Harry did far more than anyone ever imagined. Slowly, Voldemort was losing strength as Harry's blood coursed through his veins. It was attacking him from within, and would have killed him eventually had he not found a solution." As Dumbledore continued, Ginny finally blinked back the tears that had pooled in her eyes. "That same protection is preserved in this diary, among other things." Dumbledore picked up the book that Ginny had brought to him the week before.

"What other things?" she asked, and could feel her mother nudge her for doing so, but Ginny still had questions. "The diary asked me about blood, and--" Ginny hesitated because even her parents didn't know that she had witnessed Harry's murder. But she didn't need to explain, as Dumbledore already knew what she meant.

"The potion that was used on Harry needed two months to mix and react with his blood before it could be taken and given to Voldemort to prolong his life."

"Life? Can it really be called that? He merely exists, and now, at the expense of Harry." Ginny's chin fell to her chest.

"The blood stopped the degenerative effects, but more importantly," Dumbledore's tone lightened, "it also meant that Voldemort was no longer protected by that magic."

"With respect, Professor, what good does a diary do against You-Know-Who?" she asked, but her voice didn't sound respectful.

"It wasn't just Harry's memories and the protection from his mother that we put into the diary, but also his abilities. You must have noticed the affects before he died. Harry was weakened; he could no longer perform even the simplest spell. A draught from Madam Pomfrey kept up his physical strength, enough to make his classmates believe he was just a bit under the weather. But the potion was killing him, and the diary was the only way to save him." Dumbledore took off his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose, or wiping his moist eyes; Ginny couldn't tell. If he was emotional about this, he never let on.

"Professor," Ginny said taking a deep breath. "Will this diary do what Tom Riddle's was intended to do, minus the basilisk and the Chamber of Secrets?" She seemed to stumble over Riddle's name. It was still difficult for her to think about what had happened in her first year, and, although Harry's diary was different, it still dredged up memories she had tried so hard to forget.

Dumbledore passed a glance to Arthur and Molly, then to their daughter who was starting to tremble. "This diary is essentially living. It can think and it can be destroyed, although we've taken some precautions. But where Riddle's diary was intended to take over the mind and body of the writer, this one merely transfers power."

"Why did Harry choose me?"

"That is something you will have to ask the diary."

"She will do no such thing, Professor," Mrs. Weasley interjected, and jumped to her feet. "You should just burn that thing before it falls into the wrong hands."

"Molly," Mr. Weasley's voice of reason chimed in, "I believe there's more to this. Isn't there Albus?" Dumbledore nodded, and Molly sighed returning to her seat.

"What are you asking me to do, Professor?" Ginny spoke quietly, sounding remarkably like her father.

==============================

Again a tree root caught her foot, but she quickly regained her balance. Her memory of that day in the Headmaster's office was still clear. For several months after, she tried think of a way to shuffle off her responsibilities. Her mother would have been happy if she did although she never said it. She was no closer to writing the key phrase in the diary that would unlock Harry's abilities, but she had accepted that it would be selfish of her to give up when Harry had never been given a choice.

After a short break from walking, Ginny looked at her unfamiliar surroundings. She'd passed the same cluster of trees for the fourth time, and was only wearing herself out. Finally, she pulled out her wand, hoping that a simple spell Harry had taught her would lead her back. She had never tried it, and only vaguely remembered Harry telling her how he used it during the final task of the Triwizard Tournament.

"Point me." The tip of her wand spun to her right, telling her that she needed to turn around and walk forward. She walked for five minutes, meandering around tree roots and bushes before she tried the spell again. It told her she was still on course, if it was the right one. After ten more minutes, the forest was noticeably lighter, and the wind that she had heard in the treetops was beginning to blow gently through her school robes. Soon she could see the edge of the forest and when she finally emerged, she was just down the hill from the paddocks outside Hagrid's hut.

The wind had picked up, and it now felt colder than when she first walked outside. Ginny was covered in dried leaves and dirt. Moist tendrils of her hair mixed with leaves whipped wildly in her face as she stared blankly up the hill at the crowd of students gathered around the half giant. He was holding something that looked rather large, and disagreeable. It was enough to distract them so she could make her way up to the castle unseen. Although, with all the dirt and leaves in her hair and on her cloak, she probably blended in with the ground.

Once inside she performed a cleaning charm on her robes but they were still damp and wrinkled. Her hair was a lost cause, and after running her fingers through the auburn locks, she decided she was presentable enough to go talk to the Headmaster.

Out of breath from her flight, she ran up the main staircase and directly to Dumbledore's office. She knocked quietly on the door and heard him say, "Come in Miss Weasley."

"How did you know it was me, Professor?" Ginny shut the door, but froze in place when she saw the familiar silvery blond hair and dark robes seated and facing away from her. Ginny turned on her heel, and reached for the door.

"Professor Snape told me you were not in class this morning, but you were at breakfast. Do you care to explain your absence?" Ginny's hand was touching the door latch, but she paused.

"Not anymore," she said. "What is he doing here?"

Besides reminding her why she had missed class, why she had been crying, and why she was standing in the Headmaster's office, Draco's presence renewed the anger inside her that had subsided as she made her way through the forest.

"Virginia, will you let me explain now?" She heard the voice she had fallen in love with, but she was furious with him, no matter what voice he used. He was manipulating her again; it was the only explanation.

"I don't want to hear it now. It's too late." Ginny turned her body slightly; her hand was still on the door. "I'm sorry, Professor."

"Miss Weasley, please come back here," said the Headmaster sternly.

"Not until he leaves."

There was only silence, but in her mind, she could see Dumbledore looking over the top of his half-moon spectacles, gently but purposefully scolding her. She removed her grip on the door, and turned. Dumbledore's face was exactly as she imagined it, and inwardly she felt guilty for being rude to him. Outwardly, she felt guilty for everything else she'd done that morning. And though she didn't want to admit it, she felt guilty for not waiting for an explanation from Draco.

As she approached the desk, she could see the diary in front of Dumbledore. Draco still hadn't turned to look up at her; instead he kept his eyes forward. If he had tried to look her in the eyes, she'd have pawned off some of her guilt on him.

"Did Draco tell you what he did to the diary?" she asked flatly.

"He has."

Ginny waited for a few moments, expecting Dumbledore to say more, but he didn't. He just opened the diary to the first page and let a subdued smile creep across his face. At first she was stunned by his reaction. Harry's death had brought out more emotion in Dumbledore than she ever remembered seeing, and for him to just smile as he looked at the diary was unnerving. And, as Dumbledore turned the book outward to show her the first page, she remained stunned because, written in Harry's familiar handwriting, were the words "It will take more than a little Unforgivable Curse to rid the world of me." Ginny smiled briefly.

"How?" she asked, running her hands over his words. She turned to the page where she had written Harry's name three times, but it was blank. "You told me it was living and could be killed."

"You are correct, and normally the killing curse removes all signs of thought and life from the victim. Had it been anyone else, the curse would have worked, but of course that one never worked on Harry."

Draco was right, she thought. "But why didn't it backfire on Draco like the it had on You-Know-Who?"

"I told you before that we had taken some precautions against the diary being destroyed. This was one of them. If a curse is used in an attempt to destroy it, the diary remains dormant for a short time."

Ginny's eyes had started to water again.

"This seems like something so simple. Why wasn't," Ginny hesitated, "Riddle's diary protected in the same way?"

"It was, and it took a puncture from the tooth of a basilisk to destroy it. Which incidentally will not work on this one."

They had thought of every thing, it seemed. But something was nagging at her. If the diary couldn't be destroyed, it could become a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands. Now more than ever she wondered why it was entrusted to her. Her silence had been longer than she realized and was enough time for Draco to reach over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. She leaned slightly to her left causing his hand to fall.

He sighed.

"So talk," she told him. "and it better be good, or I'm never speaking to you again."

"You could hear footsteps following us in the forest, I know you could," Draco began. "My father was there, watching us." Ginny's breathing became more rapid.

"Please tell me you were under Imperius or something," she said slowly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his head drop. "Then why?"

"My father said he would kill you if I didn't destroy the diary."

"And how is this supposed to make me feel better?" Ginny shook her head, not wanting to believe Draco. The look on Dumbledore's face told her to trust him, despite what the diary and her intuition said. "No one was supposed to know about the diary. How did your father find out about it? The only people who know about this are my parents, and you two -- Draco, you didn't?"

"No. My father found out some other way."

Finally Ginny turned to face Draco. "Which was?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me, and I couldn't ask because he would have known I was aware of the diary's purpose. Please don't tell me I'm selfish for doing this. I knew the diary would be safe, but I couldn't let you know because your reaction had to be believable." Draco averted his eyes. He was being honest, too honest, and it hurt. "I feel terrible for this, but believe me when I say I did all I could."

"You led me deep into the forest," she whispered. "I don't care what your intentions were, you know how dangerous that place is, and that I really wasn't supposed to be there in the first place." Ginny glanced at Dumbledore, hoping he would just look past her disregard for school rules in this matter.

"I never left you. When I took the diary from you, I switched it with one that looked just like it, and gave it to my father. He wanted me to come with him, but I insisted I had to follow you to ensure you made it out safely." Again Draco reached for her, and this time she let him cup his hand on her shoulder. Slowly he let his fingers wander to the center of her back. She closed her eyes, and tried to imagine herself forgiving Draco, but even under his familiar and welcome touch she couldn't do it. Not yet.

.~*~.

Draco cornered Ginny once they were outside Dumbledore's office. She didn't feel quite as mad anymore, but in her disheveled state, all she wanted to do was dive into the bathtub in the prefect's bathroom.

"If you are expecting me to forgive you right now, you can just forget it," said Ginny imperiously, trying to side-step her way around Draco.

With a dull thud, Draco's black boot came down in front of her path. "You know, if I wanted this treatment, I'd go find one of your brothers."

"Well, then if you didn't want this treatment, you shouldn't have tricked me like that. That was just cruel." Ginny tightened her fists at her side. "And what was all that in Dumbledore's office? Stop trying to manipulate me, and just be honest."

"I am being honest, and I'm sorry it hurt. I was trying to save your life, remember?"

"Yeah, well I hate you, do you believe me?"

"No."

Ginny blurted out a somewhat subdued scream in frustration. "Don't you have work, or something?"

"My father gave me the day off."

"Oh, that's nice of him," she said sarcastically. "Well, I have to get to class."

"Looking like that?"

Normally she would be angry with him for commenting on her appearance, but he was right. "I'm going to shower first, but never you mind about that. How does it look for the Head Girl to miss class and wind up fighting in the hallway?"

Ginny shifted to the right, but Draco was still blocking her path. "You're not going anywhere until I make you understand what happened."

"I already know, but I'm still mad," Ginny drew her lips into an unconvincing line as Draco cranked up his charm. His lop-sided smile was growing. "Would you stop that?"

"What?" Draco said innocently.

The corners of her mouth started to turn up, despite all her efforts to look hacked off. "Just...I'm trying to make a point damn it, and you're making it very difficult."

Draco took a hold of Ginny's arm, and tight enough that she couldn't pull away as he lead her down the spiral stairs. Dumbledore had to have heard their entire argument and was probably making preparations to announce a replacement Head Girl or something to that effect. "You're hurting my arm, Draco."

"Sorry," he said, but he still didn't let go. "I have a point to make too."

Ginny raised her eyebrows expectantly. "And..."

"Don't you see that I'm willing to lie to my father for you? He scares the hell out of me pretty much all the time."

"Well, you're starting to scare the hell out of me, so be careful. I have six brothers remember." Draco smiled as she said this. "Don't tell me you're not afraid of them. Ron alone could hold you down while Fred and George stuffed Canary Creams down your throat. And don't get me started on what Charlie the Dragon handler could do."

"No, I mean yes--I mean, I don't want to set off you brothers. I'm well aware that they could kick my arse. Well, not Percy, but the rest can be very threatening. It's just... I thought of something in the forest. Do you remember what your brother said me last year in the Great Hall?"

"Which one, they've said a lot of things."

"Ron," Draco said. Ginny was shocked, and rightfully so. It was rare that he called Ron anything other than 'Weasley' or 'that git'. "He said that you and I were too different and that we should just break it off before someone got hurt. Then he told me to go hurt myself, but that's not my point."

"What is?" Ginny asked, finally freeing her arm from Draco's grasp.

"We're not that different. Think about it."

"When did you become a philosopher?"

"Three days ago," he drawled. "We both come from old wizarding families where family loyalty was drilled into our heads; not effectively in my case, but our parents had great plans for us. Don't tell me you mum didn't dream about what you, her only daughter would become. If she didn't care about you, she would have just let you date me. Instead, she still sends me howlers regularly."

Ginny smiled. "And what great things did your father have planned for you?"

Draco was looking quite proud of himself up until that point, now he looked a little deflated. "Okay, bad example, I'm still working out the flaws in my theory, but trust me, we belong together."

Ginny folded her arms across her chest, set her jaw and drew her lips into a line. "I've never thought about us that way. If we were so similar we never would have lasted this long."

"Does that mean we're still..."

"Meet me on the road to Hogsmeade on Saturday and we'll discuss this."

"What is there to discuss? I love you; you -- well you're angry with me, but I'm pretty sure you love me too."

"I said we'd discuss it this weekend. I have to get to class."

Draco let her pass, but not before giving her a small kiss on the cheek. She leaned into it, and then turned to walk down the corridor. He was a good actor, and everything he said -- the good and the bad -- was convincing whether he meant it or not. It didn't seem right that she wasn't angry with Draco any longer.

What was really gnawing at her was the amount of information that was hidden from her. She was entrusted with a powerful object and actually told very little about its full potential. As she walked back to Gryffindor tower, she made a mental list of things she still needed to ask the diary. For instance, Harry had never told her what was going during the month he was making the diary. She'd never been told what needed to be written in the dairy to unlock it's power. And perhaps the most important thing that she's tried so many times to find out was why Harry had chosen her.

Ginny returned to her dorm after a long shower in the prefect's bathroom. Washing away the dirt that had dried to her face seemed to wash away the remaining anger she had been feeling. It was almost lunchtime, but she had to write something in the diary just to be sure it still worked.

She lay on her bed, staring at the first page, and tracing her finger over the lightning scar for several minutes. "Why did you choose me Harry?" she said quietly, then picked up a quill and wrote those words in the diary.

.~*~.

More to come: What is the answer? Why did Harry feel Ginny was the best person to keep his diary? There's also the Hogsmeade weekend, some pleasant surprises, and some not so pleasant ones. How did Lucius find out about the diary? Will Ginny ever "unlock" the diary's powers? And of course, how many mages will a Nimbus LSI Sport Utility Broom seat? These questions and more will soon be answered. Thank to all of you who took the time to review: SlytherinPrincess821, Narcissa, Andra Malfoy, edition1013, Alexa Malfoy, Becky Anderson, Secret Keeper, GLEH, kinsel, Jenni Bundick, Im_Ginny_Weasley. Keep those reviews coming.