Lost

Lost

Chapter Twelve

It was midnight when the small rat descended into the sinister darkness of the dungeons. The way was lit with scattered torches, the flickering of which only added to the sense of night, and the rat made certain to stay in the brightest patches. If anyone had been awake to see it, they would have been highly confused by the erratic behavior of the small rodent. Not only did it frantically avoid the shadows, but it scuttled in a frightened, almost reluctant manner, almost as if it were aware of the dangers that the dungeons represented to one as small as itself.

Of course, the casual observer would also assume that this was a normal rat.

Which, in a way it was. In looks, intelligence, and really any other category you could imagine, the rat was completely and utterly average. It was the epitome of normal, nothing outstanding, nothing even particularly lacking, everything in order and the same, boring even, except for one small detail.

The rat was really a boy.

Indeed, despite appearances, it was really Peter Pettigrew who made his way into the belly of the beast, the inner sanctum of the dungeons. He scurried along for a while more, pausing every now and then to sniff the air around him, hunting for the scent of another small animal, which he was to meet in only a few minutes time. He paused in front of a door, sniffing madly. It seemed that he had found the desired odor.

Looking around he spotted a small snake curled up under the tassels of one of the tapestries hanging from the ceiling. He walked over to it, intending to wake it from its apparent slumber, when the snake uncoiled viciously and lunged at the rat as if to strike him. In his surprise the rat recoiled and transformed into the small pudgy form of Peter, clutching a hand over his heart, and looking equally nervous as his rodent counterpart had been.

"Merlin, Lucius, don´t do that," he said in a slightly squeaky voice, standing up on shaking feet and staring down at the hissing grey snake at his feet.

The snake gave one final hiss before transforming into the tall, imposing, form of Lucius Malfoy. He looked at Peter in careless disdain, moving to open the door that they were still standing in front of. "I wasn´t going to bite, hard."

The two boys walked into the dark room, and Lucius shut the door behind them, casting a silencing spell as he did so, meanwhile Peter set about igniting the various candles that could be found around the room, obviously trying to create as much light as was possible. Lucius watched him with a scowl. "Afraid of the dark, are we Pettigrew?"

The smaller boy shot him a look and snapped, "Excuse me, but I´m the one far from my territory. I don´t want to be caught on Slyth ground."

Lucius shut his eyes in obvious disgust at the other boys´ stupidity. "And you think that setting the whole dungeon on fire is the way to remain inconspicuous? No wonder you are a Gryffindor."

"Let´s just get on with this, Lucius. What do you want from me?" Peter shifted from foot to foot, in nervous anticipation. Lucius was the only one at the school who knew of his true allegiance, and it was not a comfort to be called on by him.

Lucius sneered at Peter´s discomfort, and decided to draw out the meeting as long as was possible, if only to watch the other boy squirm. "We have little over a month left in school, Pettigrew and I am no closer to accomplishing my goal. Despite my best efforts, Severus Snape stay firmly rooted in his blasted neutrality. I was making some progress earlier this year, he was sorely tempted by the illegal ingredients and books that I acquired for him, but now it seems that he is even farther from our side than ever."

He started pacing the length of the old classroom, a distinctively angry look settling over his features. "I was given one assignment by the Dark Lord, to turn Severus Snape to our side, and I have had three years to do it, but it looks like I am going to fail," he ran a hand through his platinum blond hair and turned frantically to Peter, "You know how he treats failure, Pettigrew. He´ll kill me if I don´t pull this off, and I am not sure that I am only speaking figuratively. We need Snape´s name, and we need his money, and once he is out of Hogwarts it will be next to impossible to get him to declare any sort of allegiance."

Peter nervously opened his mouth and after a moment of stuttering managed to speak, "Why is he so reluctant? You said you were close earlier."

Lucius pursed his lips, "It´s your bloody friend, Mya. He would never do anything to upset his darling Gryffindor slut, and Merlin knows that she´d have a problem with him practicing the Dark Arts."

Peter looked slightly confused at this, "I thought you liked Mya."

Lucius snorted, "Not bloody likely. I´ve been trying to get her to trust me. I figured that if I could get her on my side, then Snape wouldn´t be far behind. However, she has proven to be most difficult. You Gryffindors and your soddingnobility."

Peter looked like he wanted to retort to that, but thought better of it. After a minute of watching Lucius pace he ventured another question. "What does all this have to do with me, Lucius? I´m not good friends with her, so it isn´t like I´d have a better chance of getting her to turn."

"It has everything to do with you Pettigrew, although you´re right about your not being able to turn her. As if you had the ability to manipulate anybody. No, the only way to handle her is to get rid of her, and I´m going to need your help," with this Lucius stopped pacing and stood in front of Peter.

"Get... get rid of her? Lucius are you mad? I´m not killing anybody!" Peter looked slightly green, as if the mere thought were making him sick. To his very obvious surprise Lucius broke out laughing.

"Kill her? What kind of person do you think I am? Merlin, Pettigrew, and under Dumbledore´s nose too, I´m not that big a fool," Lucius wiped a tear from his eye, and Peter looked relieved. "However, I stand by my statement. She needs to go, and I know just the spell to do it. The less you know about it, the better, but I´ll tell you this... we won´t have to bother with her again for a long time," Lucius laughed at this, and Peter cracked a wary smile, although he had no idea what Lucius was going on about. "All I need from you, Pettigrew, is a hair from Potter, Lupin, Black, and yourself, and for you to keep the marauders occupied during the main event, two very simple but very important tasks."

"What do you need hair for?" Peter was extremely confused at this point, and was coming to the conclusion that his companion really had gone mad.

"Never mind about that, just get them to me as soon as you can," Lucius pulled a golden pocket watch from deep inside of his robes and gave a little groan. "I´m late to meet Narcissia. We´ll discuss the details later. Oh, and Pettigrew? Discretion is the word here, we can´t have your friends getting suspicious," with that Lucius turned and walked out of the door, leaving a very confused Peter standing alone in the middle of the room.

~*~

Hermione sat in the common room practically buried beneath a pile of books. The N.E.W.T.S were a week away, and she had put every spare minute into studying for them, including sending Severus back to his own room most nights. This was one of those nights, and she sipped at a cup of coffee that she had nicked from the kitchens, drinking the caffeine laden liquid as if it were water. At the moment she was going over her notes from History of Magic, making a new set of even more complicated notes, complete with color coding, footnotes, and cross references. She furrowed her brow as she came across a particularly complicated trade agreement between the goblins and centaurs of Greece. Opening another ridiculously large text she started looking for the obscure reference that she needed.

Behind her on the stairway to the boy´s dormitories Sirius stood watching her, debating to himself whether or not to go try to talk to her. The pair hadn´t spoken since the WhompingWillow incident, and it was getting to the point where he wondered if they would ever speak again. He bit his lip and moved down a few stairs before stopping uncertainly again. Despite this silence between them he considered her to be his best female friend, and he couldn´t stand the thought that he might have truly lost her. He moved down a few stairs again when her voice broke the silence of the empty room, startling him so much that he nearly fell off of the stairway altogether.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me all night?" She didn´t lift her eyes from the book she was reading.

Sirius gave a little start before walking the rest of the way down the stairs to move into the seat beside her. She put down the quill she was writing with and looked away from him. "That wasn´t an invitation."

"I think it was," she turned and looked at him and he continued, "come on Mya, you can´t stand it either. I miss you, and I know you miss me. Can´t we just be friends again?"

She looked down and sighed. "I do miss you, Sirius, but I can´t forgive you for what you did."

He grabbed her hand from under the table and squeezed it lightly. "I don´t forgive myself either, it was wrong, and I know that, but there isn´t anything I can do about it now but say that I´m sorry," he ran a hand through his dark black hair, but didn´t let go of her. "We´re leaving school in less than a month, we´re going to go out and start our lives, and I don´t want to do it without you."

Hermione sat with his hand around hers, and thought about what he had said. He was talking about the future, about life after Hogwarts, unaware of the fates that would befall him and those he loved. Tears started to well up in her eyes, thinking about the life he was destined for: betrayal, death, and despair. Suddenly she felt horrible about causing him pain, when soon pain was all he would feel. Besides, it was true that she missed him. In the nine months she had `known´ him she had grown to love him, and all of a sudden she felt herself start to cry at the loss she had felt without him around.

"Oh, Sirius," she threw her arms around him and started sobbing, "I´ve lost so many people... I don´t want to lose you too."

For a minute he was too bewildered to do anything, and then he came to his senses and gathered her up into his arms, holding her as tightly as he could. Placing a kiss on the top of her head he drew away from her enough to look at her face. She was all blotchy and red from crying, but to Sirius she had never looked lovelier. He told her so and she broke out laughing, causing even more tears to fall. Wiping them away he pulled her too her feet and then shut the books she had been poring over. "I love you Mya, let´s never fight again, okay?" She smiled as he looked up at her with his big bright eyes and a lopsided grin on his face.

"I love you too, Sirius," she gave him a hug, "and if you keep giving me those puppy dog eyes, I don´t think I´ll ever be able to be angry with you again."

His grind grew wider and he changed into his animagus form, jumping up on her and placing slobbery kisses all over her cheeks. She pushed him off and winked, "Two can play at that game, Padfoot," the dog looked at her, confused and she stepped back, trying to clear her mind. A moment later she had changed from a girl into a black panther, bristling herself up so that she looked ever larger. The dog´s eyes widened and he ran over to sniff at her before barking merrily. She then leaped at him, now covering his furry face with kisses. A minute later they were running all over the common room, under tables and over the couches in a dizzying came of tag.

When the clock stuck two, they finally collapsed into human form on the couch, breathing heavily, and grinning at each other like mad. Sirius kept looking at her with incredulous eyes, "When did you learn to become an animagi?"

A little wistful smile came over her face. "Severus and I made a potion a few months ago, but I haven´t really had the chance to stretch my legs in a while," she noticed that Sirius looked a little pale at the mention of Severus´ name, but she didn´t bring it up.

Yawning, Sirius stood up and gave her an apologetic look. "As much as I really want to stay up with you, now that we´re friends again, we do have classes tomorrow, and I am exhausted," he gave pulled her up off of the couch to give her a hug. "Goodnight, Mya."

"Goodnight, Sirius," she gave him a little kiss on the cheek and he beamed at her before bounding up the stairs towards the boys´ dormitories.

She fell back into her chair, with a little smile on her face. It was true that she hadn´t forgiven Sirius for what he did to Severus and Remus; she doubted that she ever really would. Still, he was right, it was done, and nothing could change that. I know that he´s truly sorry for everything, and god knows he´ll have the time to reflect about it. She shook a little bit, she was done thinking about the horror that the future held, or the mistakes of the past. For right now she was going to put that all aside and spend what time she had left with her friend.

She looked over the remains of her notes, and sighed deeply. It was much too late to keep studying. With a few simple spells her work organized itself and shrunk to fit inside a little folder that was labeled "History of Magic." She picked up the folder and smiled. Severus had taught her the spells a few weeks ago when he saw how cluttered her room was becoming with the mountains of notes and books. It was right useful for her homework, and she had even started using the organizational spells on her closet when she couldn´t be hassled to keep it orderly.

She trudged up the stairs to her room, feeling as if her feet were going to fall off. Her sudden burst of energy for running around the common room was already taking its toll, and she couldn´t wait to curl up in bed. She went to turn the handle to the door, and cocked her head in surprise as she found that it was locked.

That´s funny, I don´t remember locking it. She thought, as she used an unlocking spell and pushed the door open. She entered the room and shut the door again, before walking over to her desk to deposit her notes. Satisfied that all of her things were in place she undressed and made her way over to the bed.

Sleepily she pulled back the covers, and was about to climb in bed, when she realized why the door had been locked. Severus was lying in her bed, fast asleep. She smiled as he turned over towards her, mumbling something about a potion. She had sent him away earlier in the evening, when she decided to go study, but apparently he hadn´t gone anywhere. Not that she blamed him; she knew how much he hated sleeping in Slytherin. Actually, she was glad that he had stayed. After spending so much time with him, it was becoming hard for her to fall asleep without him next to her.

Slipping into bed, she snuggled up close to his sleeping form. He was nice and warm, and instinctively put his arms around her once she got near. Hermione sighed and lay her head down on his shoulder. A smile was plastered over her face, and she doubted that anything could take it away. She was more than ready for her N.E.W.T.S, she had made up with her best friend, and she was lying in bed next to the man she loved.

My world is perfect, she thought, as she drifted off into sleep.

Little did she know that she couldn´t be more wrong.

~*~

Hermione flopped backwards onto her bed, letting out a melodramatic groan. "I am so glad that the N.E.W.T.S are over!"

Severus laughed at her from across the room, where he was sitting on her chair. "Don´t lie, Mya. You know you loved every minute of it, I watched you studying for those tests, and you were in your element."

She grinned, "Okay, so maybe I enjoyed them. Still, I am glad that it´s finished," she scooted backwards up the bed until she was resting against the headboard. Their last N.E.W.T ended an hour ago, but they had just gotten back to her room. The seventh year Gryffindors were partying in the common room, and were reluctant to let her escape from the festivities. She had finally claimed a headache, and slipped away, to find Severus waiting patiently for her in the chair where he now sat.

She watched him as he played with a pen, obviously unsure of how to use it. It amused her to no end that someone as brilliant as he was could be so confounded by the simplest of muggle inventions. He kept clicking the button at the top, completely oblivious to the fact that the ball point kept making ink marks all over his hand. Getting up from the bed she walked over and took the pen from him, grinning, "You know, I´m going to have to take you into the muggle world sometime. I think you´d have a heart attack if I took you into the city."

He looked at her for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to tell her something. She raised an eye brow and settled back on the bed. "Yes?"

Taking a deep breath he tried to act casual, "I was just wondering what your plans were for after graduation."

"Oh," she furrowed her brow a bit, "I´m not really sure. I guess I´ll go home with Minerva, where ever home is for her, and then..." she shrugged. "Either it´s off to university or back to Hogwarts until I figure it all out."

He cleared his throat and made his face impassive, and she suppressed a grin. It was the face he took when he was going to ask or say something important, but didn´t want her to know how much it meant to him. With his laziest drawl he said, "Perhaps you would consider an alternate plan?"

"What did you have in mind?" She asked, interested.

"My family has a villa in the south of France, and it has long been my plan to stay there for the summer after graduation, perhaps longer depending on," he paused, "the situation in England," his face was now devoid of any sort of emotion, and she stiffened wondering what he was going to say next. "I thought that, maybe, you might like to join me," he sat up stark straight in his chair, steeling himself for rejection.

A grin started spreading over Hermione´s face, as the implications of that sank in. Of course, there was more than one way to interpret his invitation. He could merely be asking if she wanted to go on holiday with him, or he could be asking much more. She tried to respond in the calm manner that he had, but she couldn´t keep the excitement out of her voice. "Are you asking me to join you for a vacation?"

He swallowed heavily and his voice shook just the slightest bit when he answered her. "No, I´m asking you to come with me, live with me. I want us to be together, Mya, not just," he couldn´t help but sneer at the word, "dating."

She was smiling, but she didn´t answer him right away, too shocked and happy to speak. Severus continued quickly, "We wouldn´t have to go to France, if you didn´t want. We could stay here in England, if you wanted," he paused and looked right into her eyes. "I just want to be with you."

"Oh Severus!" She launched herself off of the bed and onto his lap, hugging him and kissing him all over his face. He relaxed against her and allowed himself to smile.

"Does that mean that you´ll come?" He asked, in the spaces between her kisses.

"Yes!" She sat back and started babbling excitedly. "Of course I´ll probably have to go on holiday with Minerva for a week or so, and Professor Dumbledore might want me to come back to Hogwarts to visit, and then we have to make sure to get back so we can take our apparition tests, and..."

He cut her off by putting his hand over her mouth. She covered it with her own and they sat for a minute looking into each others eyes. His other hand made its way into her hair and he licked his lips, "So this is it, then? We´re going to live together."

She kissed the hand that was still over her mouth and nodded slowly. With great care he took his hands from her hair and mouth and wrapped them around her body, picking her up and carrying her over to the bed. He lowered her down onto the soft comforter and covered her body with his own. She ran her hands along his face, beaming at him with a huge smile. "I love you, Severus."

"I love you too, Mya," he kissed her deeply.

"I will love you forever."

~*~

Hermione stood in her room, marveling at how empty it seemed. Her trunk was packed, and all of the clothing, books, and pictures that had made the room her own were careful stowed away, waiting for her to take them into the next stage of her life. The graduation ceremony was to be held the next morning, and the Hogwarts Express was going to depart the day after that. She was going to be taking the Express to London, before port-keying with Minerva to her home in Scotland. When she had told Minerva of her plans to live with Severus after school ended, the older witch had nearly cried, glad that she was happy, but sad that she was losing her surrogate daughter so quickly. She had arranged to stay with Minerva for a fortnight, and during that time the two planned to travel to the wizarding part of Rome, as neither witch had ever seen it.

While Hermione was excited about her holiday with her mentor, she couldn´t help but feel slightly sad at having to be apart from Severus for so long. Since she had started classes here, she hadn´t been away from him for more than a day, even when they were just friends she at least saw him in the halls. Of course, she thought to herself, you´ll be living with him soon, so two weeks won´t really matter.

She couldn´t really believe that she was poised to move in with Severus Snape. A year ago she would have gagged at the idea, and now here she was, looking forward to it as the greatest thing in her life. She had gone through so much in this school year. In one misstep she had lost one life, and gained another. It was true that she still mourned for the loss of her parents and old friends, but the life she had gained... well, she wouldn´t trade it for the entire world.

There was a nock on her door and she pulled herself out of her reverie. She bounded over to the door, expecting it to be Lily begging for help packing up her room, and was surprised to see James standing there, looking slightly nervous.

"James! Come on in, what´s going on?" She ushered him into her room, shutting the door behind him. It had been ages since she had really hung out with James. Since he had proposed to Lily two weeks before the two were seldom apart. He was running a hand through his messy black hair and he looked very nervous. "Is something wrong?" She cocked her head sympathetically, "Did you and Lily have a row?"

"No, I´m fine, just nerves, I guess," he looked at her with a strange expression, "It´s a very important day."

"I know, I´m already jittery about the ceremony tomorrow." She smiled at him, trying to read his face, and failing miserably. "Are you sure you´re okay?"

"Yeah, um, you know what? I could do with some fresh air. How would you fancy a walk?" He didn´t give her time to respond before grabbing her hand and pulling her out the door. Once he was certain she was following him he dashed down the stairs and out of the common room as fast as he could. Hermione was very confused by the time that they were in the halls of Hogwarts, and she reached out a hand to grab at his robes. "What?"

She put her hands on her hips, and narrowed her eyes at him. "Something´s up with you, and I want to know what it is."

For a minute he seemed at a loss, and then his face perked up. "It´s just that we, the marauders that is, have a sort of surprise for you. Call it a going away present."

One of her eyebrows lifted in skepticism, but she nodded anyway. "Alright, although you know I hate surprises."

He just gave her a quick smile before pulling her down the corridors again. They walked in silence out to the grounds, with James becoming more and more edgy with every step he took. Finally they reached a large tree near the Care of Magical Creatures corrals, and James stopped walking. He opened his mouth to say something when he spied something over her shoulder. Hermione turned around to see Remus, Sirius, and Peter all jogging towards them, looking, if it was possible, even more nervous than James.

"We´ve got about five minutes," Sirius said, completely ignoring Hermione and walking over to James. The four boys then huddled together, and started talking.

Hermione stood there for a minute, completely confused by their behavior. "It´s nice to see you too, guys," she said dryly, knowing that they weren´t paying attention. She stood there, becoming very bored and pissed off when she noticed something odd about James. She took a step closer, her eyes going wide. He wasn´t wearing a ring. Her breath became shallow as she started to slowly back away from the boys. When James had proposed to Lily two weeks earlier he had bought himself a gold band as well, proclaiming loudly that he wanted everybody to know that he was engaged, and she remembered Sirius told her that he had yet to take it off, even when showering or sleeping.

She stepped farther away, trying to figure out what was going on, when James looked over in her direction. He took one look at her face and realized that he had been caught. He sneered, the boyish face twisting up in a way she had never seen before. Remus and Peter caught this exchange and immediately rushed over to her sides, grabbing her elbows tightly so that she couldn´t run away. She looked up at them, terrified at the looks of hatred on the faces of her `friends.´ She struggled against them, but they were too strong. "Who are you?" She asked James, in a voice that was too harsh for her.

He smirked at her, putting a fake look of hurt on his face. "It´s me, Mya, it's James, Gryffindor Quidditch captain, engaged to the muggle-born head girl, bloody king of Hogwarts. Don´t you recognize me?" He laughed as she glared at him, and turned to Peter, "Tie her up against that tree." She started to protest but he cast a silencing spell over her so that no matter how hard she screamed, she couldn´t be heard.

The boy who looked like Remus jogged a bit of the way towards the castle, and then ran back quickly. "He´s coming, we better start."

The other boys nodded, and Hermione started screaming harder, trying in vain to break the silencing barrier. James walked over to her and pursed his lips, trying not to laugh. "Don´t worry darling, it won´t hurt," he thought for a moment, and then laughed.

"Actually, it is going to hurt, quite a bit."

~*~