Lost

Lost

Chapter Eleven

"Right, and after Wendell the Weird joined up with Oberon the Obese they attacked the elf colony of Yola." Hermione smiled at Peter warmly. She had been going over History of Magic for hours, and he was finally beginning to understand. "Okay, so what happened during the attack?"

Peter looked over his notes with his brow furrowed. "Um... the elves tricked the goblins by... sitting in the trees and attacking them as they walked underneath?"

"That´s right!" Hermione beamed at him. "See, I told you that you would get it if you applied yourself!" She shut the book that she had been reading from and stretched in the chair. She had reluctantly agreed to tutor Peter after he spent three days begging her. In truth, she didn´t like to be around the boy who would grow to be Wormtail, but she realized that it was unfair of her to hold his future against him. "Now, we´ll be done if you can tell me the name of the goblin that defected to the elven side after the battle." She knew that this would be a hard question for him; Peter was good at the concept, but had no memory for the details.

He sat for a moment, trying hard to come up with the name from memory and not from the notes on the table. After a minute a grin spread over his face and he looked at her triumphantly. "Gwendolyn the Gay, but she was only a half goblin. Her mother was a wood sprite."

Hermione clapped her hands together appreciatively. "Yes, you remembered! That´s wonderful, Peter. If we keep working together you´ll have no trouble with the N.E.W.T.S." He smiled at her and they began to gather up all the materials they had been working with for the past hour. Peter was absolutely beaming with pride, and her smile faltered as she wondered what had made this shy but sweet boy turn to the dark side.

"Mya?" The sound of his voice brought her back, and the smile returned to her face. He wasn´t really looking at her, which she knew meant that he was going to say something that she didn´t want to hear. "He misses you, you know."

"I know," she answered quietly, a small frown playing at her lips. She shook her head of the thoughts that threatened to creep up on her and forced a smile back on to her face. "Well, I guess that´s all for tonight. I think I am going to head on up to my room."

"Good night, Mya." He gave her a shy half hug before she headed out of the library. She gave him a little wave as she walked out of the door.

Once in the corridor the thoughts that she had pushed away came back in full force, as they always seemed to when she was alone. She hadn´t spoken a word to Sirius since she had left him alone in her room two weeks before, and the loss of his company was wearing on her. While Severus was always number one with her, Sirius had always been second. She had come to depend on their time together more than she had realized, and his absence pained her. Still, as much as she missed him, she still hadn´t forgiven him. I don´t know if I ever will. She thought, tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

She came up to the portrait of the Fat Lady, and she smoothed the wrinkles of her robes and stood up a bit straighter. Another nasty effect of that night was that her relationship with Severus was no longer a secret. This had come as quite a shock to the school. While they all knew that the pair were friends, finding out that they were lovers was another matter entirely. In a strange twist it had turned out that the Slytherins were much more accepting of the relationship than the Gryffindors were. She had a feeling that part of that had to do with Lucius, who was vocal about approving.

"Butterbeer," she gave the password to the Fat Lady, who eyed her suspiciously, as if afraid that she was really a Slytherin in disguise. Hermione climbed through the hole, shaking her head a bit. This is getting old. She thought, as twenty pairs of eyes looked at her just the way that the Lady had. She was saved from the stares as a friendly voice called out to her from in front of the fire.

"Mya! Come sit with me!" Remus was sitting on the floor and beckoning to her with his hand. She smiled, genuinely happy to see him. They had become much closer since that infamous night.

"Hey there, Remus," she said, slipping down onto the floor next to him. "How are you?" The question was not an idle one. Remus almost suffered a nervous breakdown when he realized what he had nearly done, and he still seemed a bit shell shocked by the whole affair. He was not talking to Sirius either.

"Alright, I think," he leaned back on his elbows and shut his eyes. "I´m a bit angry at James though, he left me alone to go run around with him." James had forgiven Sirius almost immediately, and Hermione was under the distinct impression that he placed most of the blame on Severus´ shoulders.

Hermione sighed, none of this was easy. "I´m sorry Remus, but look on the bright side, at least you get to be alone," she turned to smile sweetly at two third year girls who were gawking at her. "I feel like I´m in a freak show or something."

He chuckled. "Well, you have to admit, you´re something of an oddity. Loving a Slytherin, honestly!" He grinned as she threw him a murderous look. "Oh, come off it, Mya. You know I´m kidding." He ran his hand through his fine brown hair. "I don´t have to like him though, do I?"

She rolled her eyes at him. She knew that Remus grudgingly approved of Severus, after a `secret´ conversation the two had had but refused to talk to her about. Still, it was quite obvious that the two disliked each other. "No, Remus, you don´t have to like him." She sighed, and shifted her body so that she was lying with her head in his lap. "Although, I predict that you might change your tune in the future."

He made a little choking sound, and she laughed. "It´s just a guess, not an actual prediction."

He put a hand over his chest and mocked relief. "Don´t scare me like that; I´ll have a heart attack."

"Very funny, Remus, since when are you such a comedian?" He shrugged and the two lapsed into a comfortable silence, not noticing a pair of eyes watching them sadly from across the room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Checkmate," Severus smirked at Lucius, who was still trying to work out how he had been beaten.

Lucius noticed the smug expression on his face and scowled in the other boy´s direction. "Oh sod off, you know I´m terrible at chess." It was a true and slightly odd fact. For as cunning and smart as Lucius was, he was miserable at true strategy. He tended to make grand movements, not noticing as Severus´ pieces quietly took control of the board. "Aren´t you due up at Gryffindor now anyway?"

Severus nodded and stood up. "Just about, she´s tutoring Pettigrew in some subject or another, and knowing her, she´ll probably go on for hours." Lucius noted with a small grin that there was a trace of jealousy in Severus´ voice. He knew that the boy hated when she was with those friends of hers.

Lucius yawned and stood up, turning to the boys´ dormitories. "Goodnight then, say hello for me, will you?" Severus´ eyes narrowed at this, but he nodded all the same, although Lucius didn´t see it, as Severus had already become invisible.

Passing through the portrait of Salazar Slytherin that guarded the entrance to the common room, Severus quickened his pace. As always, he wanted to get to Hermione as fast as he could. He had barely seen her at all today, and he was desperate to be near her. It frightened him, at times, how much he truly needed her. She was like oxygen to him, and he often wondered how he had lived for seventeen years without her.

It was strange for him, now that their relationship was in the open. For the first time in his life Severus found himself the subject of gossip, and he decided quickly that he didn´t like it. The Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs were not so bad; he usually only got interested looks from them. No, it was the Gryffindors who made it difficult. He had had no less then ten members of that house come up to him demanding to know if he had placed Hermione under some kind of spell. He grinned in spite of himself; one of those encounters had turned out rather well. He had been approached by a first year boy, who obviously had a crush on his older house mate, and he had quickly reduced the young boy to tears. It had been quite satisfying for him really, although it didn´t help with the animosity he felt from the rest of the house.

Coming up on the portrait of the Fat Lady, Severus tried to remember what the new password was for this week. He stood there for a minute when he was unexpectedly rescued by the Pettigrew boy, who wandered up and into the common room. Severus slinked inside before the portrait closed behind him looking at the pudgy Gryffindor in confusion. I thought Hermione was tutoring him, he thought with a frown. He walked into the main part of the room, and his frown deepened. Hermione was lying in front of the fire, with her head on the lap of the werewolf. Severus growled in jealousy and quickly made his way over to where they lay, nearly walking into a pair of fourth years in the process. He crouched down low and opened his mouth to say something scathing, when her voice made him stop.

"Hello Severus, we were just talking about you." He sat there, stunned, as was the werewolf. She moved to get up from where she had been lying down, and grinned down at the boys. "Goodnight Remus, we´re off to bed."

The werewolf nodded numbly, and Severus found himself doing the same. He had seen her do it before, but it always amazed him that she could tell when he was close by. He followed her up the stairs to the girls´ dorms, and into the sanctuary of her room. She warded the door, and cast the regular silencing spells before she turned to where he still stood invisible.

"I´d like to see you," she said, in a teasing tone. "That is the whole purpose of you coming up here."

He cocked his head, confused, before he realized that she still could not see him. He became visible and walked over to where she stood, wrapping his arms around her. "I missed you," he said simply, planting a kiss on the top of her head. As much as he loved her, he still found it hard to be verbally affectionate. He would never become a poet, spouting off line after line of fluff, although he suspected that she was grateful for that.

Pulling away she smiled up at him. "I missed you too, how long has it been, four hours?" She disentangled herself from his arms and moved about the room, preparing herself for the next day.

"Five, actually," he watched as she flitted about the room, an amused smile on his face. With the N.E.W.T.S just around the corner, she had become almost anal retentive in regards to her school work and preparation. Shaking his head, he walked towards the bed, shedding his robe as he did so. She had emptied a small chest of drawers next to the bed, and it was now reserved for his clothes and various belongings that he decided to move up here. He looked over his shoulder to see that she was now undressing, and he leaned back against the bed to watch. He was still utterly bewitched by the beauty of her body, and he could hardly believe that he had any claims on it.

She paused after taking off her sweater to straighten something on her desk, and he took the moment to shed the rest of his clothes and slide naked into the bed. Ever since the first time they had made love they found no reason to hide under false modesty. He propped himself up against a pillow and watched her undress with a grin on his face.

Turing around to crawl under the covers, she noted the look on his face and laughed. "Oh, you enjoyed that, did you?"

He nodded slowly, looking her up and down suggestively. "Very much so." She laughed and threw her pillow at him lightly. He dodged it easily and caught her wrist as she moved to pick up another one. "I wouldn´t do that if I were you."

She raised an eyebrow in mock defiance, although she couldn´t seem to control the smile that played across her face. "What are you going to do about it, huh?"

He answered her by growling and pouncing, trapping her beneath him on the bed. She laughed in delight, feigning a struggle against his arms. He leaned down to capture her mouth with his own, and he could feel her melt against his touch. He almost thanked Black for putting them through that ordeal, as she had become even more affectionate than she had been before. He guessed that it had something to do with the blinding fact that she almost lost him. In any event, he wasn´t complaining.

"You´re distracted," she complained, noting the faraway look on his face. He rolled over so that he was lying next to her, placing one hand on her cheek.

"I was thinking of you," he said softly, looking straight into his eyes. She stared right back at him with unwavering confidence. It occurred to him that no other person was able to do that with him. Except, perhaps, Lucius, but with Lucius their glances were more about the balance of power. He scowled a little bit, thinking of the other boy. "What is going on with you and Lucius?" he asked her, with his brow furrowed. "He seems to be the president of your fan club."

She pursed her lips, and he could tell that she had been wondering the same thing. "I don´t know. He´s been really... nice to me lately. It´s scary, because Lucius doesn´t do nice," she paused, biting her lip slightly. "I don´t trust him Severus."

"I don´t either, he´s up to something, I can tell," he moved so that he was lying on his back, and she crawled over to lie over his chest. He had hoped to shield her from Slytherin politics, but it was becoming evident that she was to become a central figure in it. He wasn´t being entirely truthful when he said he didn´t trust Lucius. He would trust Lucius with his life, as long as the other boy thought he was getting something out of the deal. Lucius was the type to watch out for his own interests, and would do anything to get what he wanted. If your intentions happened to parallel his, he was a wonderful ally. However if your opinions crossed...

"You´re a world away, aren´t you?" He looked down to see her smiling face and immediately felt bad about letting his mind wander from her.

"I´m sorry Mya, it´s just with Lucius and..." he was stopped by her finger coming to rest against his lips. His eyes widened as he saw a familiar twinkle in her eye that let him know that she was planning something. He unconsciously held his breath in anticipation.

"Maybe I can help you... clear your mind a little, hmm?" She grinned lazily as she moved to straddle his waist. He opened his mouth to say something, but she put her fingers against his lips again, silencing him.

He ran his hands along the sides of her body, and decided to let all thoughts die for the night. Pulling her close to him he kissed her deeply, reveling in the softness of her lips, and the electricity that went along with her touch.

**************

"Put in the lacewing flies, and then stir the potion clockwise four times," Hermione was looking over the well-read copy of Most Potent Potions and directing Severus as he stood over the boiling caldron. They were taking some time off of studying for the NEWTs to work in their little room. While most students would feel that this was worse than studying, they relaxed in the familiarity of brewing and boiling.

"Alright," Severus said, stirring the caldron, "what next?" They were working on a dangerous potion that allowed the drinker to perform wandless magic for a short time. Brewed correctly, it would give them the ability for twelve hours, but brewed incorrectly it would leave them magicless for the same amount of time. They had chosen it because it was the most difficult potion in the book; it was close to impossible to manage.

"Next you need to... um, add powered mandrake root, and a pinch of ground spider legs. Oh, that´s gross," she made a face as he reached into the clay jar that held the legs. He laughed at her distaste and quickly capped the jar and put it away.

"What is it with you and spiders?" He asked, watching as the potion started to turn the desired shade of yellow. She walked up next to him and smiled down at the caldron.

"It needs to boil for half an hour," she gave it a little stir before turning to look at him. "I never used to be afraid of them, but Ron always was... and I guess after six years it just rubbed off on me." She walked over to the little couch and fell back against the cushions. "This potion is ridiculous! Whoever made it up must have been some kind of sadist."

"Difficult potions are the best kinds. This one is much better than the ones we brew in class. Any idiot could brew those," he paused thoughtfully. "Which isn´t to say that they do. It´s shameful how poorly some students do."

She laughed out loud at that. "You sound just like... well, yourself," she motioned for him to come over, and he obligingly sank down beside her. "I have to say though, that I always agreed with you. Not that I would ever openly agree with my `evil´ potions master," she smiled at him fondly. "You never do get over your antisocial tendencies."

He snorted. "Thank Merlin. I do not find the idea of being popular to be particularly inviting," he threw his arm around her and grinned slightly as she tucked her head into the crook between his shoulder and his chest. "Am I really that horrible in the future?"

She sighed heavily. "Yes, you really are," she pursed her lips before continuing. "I´ve told you before... but your life isn´t going to be easy Severus. It isn´t going to be easy for anyone," she closed her eyes, picturing what would become of her friends in a short three years time. She felt him tense slightly, and she instinctively knew what he was thinking. "I can promise you though, that whatever happens, you won´t go through it alone. I´ll be right there with you."

He relaxed at her words, knowing that she meant them. It was strange for him, having her know about his future, and the fact that for six years of her life she hated him didn´t help matters much. "If you knew I was so horrible... how did you... how could you stand me now, knowing what I would become?"

She smiled a little at that, although he couldn´t see. "You hated me in the future too, remember? Severus, you don´t have an easy personality, just ask any of the Gryffindors, but that isn´t what attracted me to you. I don´t have the easiest personality either. When I found myself here, I´ll admit that I was wary of you, but there is more to people than just their exterior. I fell in love with everything about you, the good and the bad. Even now, when I look back on the memories I have of you then, I look back with love. The looks you would give, or the way you looked when you were working over a caldron... everything is precious," she ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "Nothing you could say or do will ever change how much I love you. You´re stuck with me."

He shook his head a little bit. "You just like to hear yourself talk, don´t you?" He teased her. She swatted him on the knee and he reached down to hold her hand. "I love you too. Thank you, for everything you said," she seemed pacified from his teasing, so he drew her a bit closer, taking in the scent of her hair. He loved how she always smelled like vanilla and honey; it was a warm and comforting smell.

She squeezed his hand and started to stand up. "Okay, enough dwelling on the past... or the future... or... well, enough dwelling. Let´s finish up this stage of the potion and head up to lunch." She pulled him up and dragged him over to the work station, laughing at his reluctance to get off of the couch. "I thought you were the one who loved this potion?" She teased as he grudgingly started opening jars.

"I do like making the potion... I just like sitting with you better," he took out a dried shrivelfig and dropped it into the potion.

Hermione smiled at him and started to stir in powered wormwood. "Well, I like sitting with you too, but I also like food, and we haven´t had any today... or have you forgotten that we skipped breakfast?"

"Oh, I had forgotten," he looked at his pocket watch and raised an eyebrow. "We´re going to miss lunch too if we don´t hurry. We can come back and finish later."

"Alright, let me get my bag," Hermione dashed across the room and picked up her school tote that was still completely filled even though it was a Saturday. She walked back across the room and took his hand lightly. "Let´s go then."

They shut off the candles and walked out the door, blissfully unaware that a small snake slithered out after them.