Lost

Lost

Chapter Ten

Two figures lay motionless on the ground, their stillness a bitter contrast to the swinging branches of the willow. Hermione clung to the window for support, not daring to look away even for a moment. She felt helpless, trapped in her room. She had been waiting breathlessly for Sirius to return with help for the fallen boys, but as the minutes stretched on she feared that no help would come. A small dark pool had begun to spread around the leg of one of the boys, and she knew by his moonlit profile that it was Severus.

Her hands were shaking as she began to pound again on the glass in a desperate attempt to draw attention to herself. She had screamed herself hoarse in the first few minutes after she realized what was happening. Her hands were sore from hitting the wood of her door over and over again, and she had even spent a few minutes as a panther clawing desperately in an attempt to get out. She couldn't remember ever feeling so powerless before.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, several shadowed figures hurried over to the scene. She scanned their profiles, trying to discern who had arrived, and was shocked to see that it was Lucius rather than Sirius who lead the medi-witch and headmaster towards the boys. She watched as he walked next to the now suspended body of Severus, placing a hand on the unconscious boy's shoulder in an unprecedented gesture of concern. Hermione narrowed her eyes at the floating body of James, how strange it seemed that he should be the one who was alone.

The strange processional finally made their way out of her sight, and she relaxed slightly, shutting her eyes and slipping down into the window seat. She was exhausted, her body feeling almost as if it had gone into shock from the night's events. She managed to drag herself over to the bed and sat propped up against the pillows, willing herself not to sleep. However, her body was becoming traitor to her mind, her eyesight fading in and out, and the feeling slowly fading from her limbs. She didn't want to sleep, not while she was locked in here with Severus injured and far away.

She shook her head and rolled her shoulders, trying to get some feeling back into her body. Drawing her knees up under her chin, she let her eyes sweep around the room, looking for some source of comfort. She found it in a small red stain on the sheets below her, the single physical reminder of how she had started this night. A small sob escaped from her throat at the sight of it, and she found herself drowning in emotion. She had been so blissfully happy; she had felt right for once in her life. The feelings of Severus inside of her, his weight bearing down on her, and his breath against her cheek were memories so precious to her now that she found herself smiling in spite of herself. She longed to be back again in the beautiful afterglow of their love, safe in Severus' arms.

A sigh escaped her lips, and she lowered her head onto her knees. She let her mind wander to his face, his scent, and the delicious secrets of his body that only she had privilege to. Her thoughts slipped silently into dreams, although the sweet musings were pocked with the haunting image of his broken body.

***********

Lucius watched as Severus slowly opened his eyes. He had been sitting by his side for almost an hour now, and it was the first time that the boy had stirred. Severus looked around the hospital room with a groggy, confused look on his face. When his eyes finally rested on Lucius he groaned, the memories of what had happened clearly came back to him.

"How are you feeling?" Lucius asked, although there was little concern in his voice.

Severus didn't dignify the question with an answer, choosing instead to glare at the other boy. Lucius laughed, as the glare was weakened by his condition. He reached into his robes and grabbed the small vial of pepper-up potion that Madam Pomfrey had left for him to give to Severus when he woke up. He offered it to the boy, who drank it quickly without even asking what it was.

"Bloody hell that was disgusting!" Severus made a gagging sound before placing the empty vial on the table next to him.

"Couldn't be helped." Lucius pushed down on Severus' shoulder as he made an attempt to rise from the bed. "Slow down, you aren't going anywhere."

Severus grimaced but settled back down into the bed. He was vaguely aware of a throbbing in his head and leg, but he chose to ignore it. "What the hell happened down there, Lucius?"

Lucius thought for a moment, "How much do you remember?"

Severus sighed, "After you so graciously handed me the stick, I managed to get underneath the willow, when the damn thing shut behind me. Next thing I know, I'm being attacked by a werewolf, and then..." Suddenly, the gravity of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks. "Werewolf... oh, gods no," his already pale face became even more pallid. "Am I? Did it?"

"No!" Lucius tried to calm his friend. "It got you with claws, that's all. You aren't going to become a werewolf." He ran a hand through his hair as Severus exhaled a long breath. "It was Potter, who pulled you out, by the way. He seemed to know what was going on. They both did."

"Black," Severus growled. "He tried to kill me. What happened to him?"

Lucius thought for a moment, trying to decide what to say. After a second he replied, "No one knows. He ran away, and we haven't been able to find him."

"Coward," Severus muttered under his breath. He furrowed his brow. "No one has seen him? What about Mya?"

"She hasn't been down here," Lucius shrugged. "Seems kind of strange."

Severus groaned. "She's locked in her room. Black took her wand and cast a spell, there are silencing spells too, so no one can hear her." Lucius looked confused, and Severus just shook his head. "Don't ask. Will just go get her? The password is Fairy Lights, the girls' dorms are on the right, and her door is the fourth on the right."

Lucius nodded and made his way out of the Hospital Wing, pausing once to sneer at the still unconscious form of James Potter. He walked quickly down the halls towards Gryffindor tower, becoming invisible as he did. The night's events had put him in an unusually good mood. He had been worried, momentarily, when Potter had pulled a bleeding Severus out of the path of the werewolf, but once the danger had passed Lucius became aware of how positive the night had turned out. The Gryffindors were Dumbledore's obvious favorites, and if Severus hated the Gryffindors then he hated Dumbledore by extension. This was good for Lucius' cause.

The only problem that he could foresee was that of Hermione. She obviously was very important to Severus, seeing that he spent nearly every night with her. It would have been perfect if she was a Slytherin, but she was a Gryffindor and therefore hard to manipulate. If he could find some way to ingratiate himself to her, to steer her away from her friends, then she might be the perfect tool to finally turn Severus Snape to the Dark side.

He made his way up to Gryffindor tower, passing the unconscious Black on the way. He sneered at the boy, kicking him once as he walked by. He paused for a moment while on the stairs. This would be a good way to start Hermione's turn against her friends, to find her best friend having "abandoned" the injured boys.

He mused on this until he came to the portrait of the Fat Lady. Luckily for him she didn't open her eyes to see who was giving the password. He climbed in and tried to remember the directions that Severus had given him. After a minute he climbed the right staircase and made his way to the fourth door on the right. He paused for a moment before he charmed open the door; making sure that he looked appropriately worried.

******************

Hermione woke from her troubled sleep by a hissing sound coming from the door. She immediately jumped up only to sit down again in confusion when she saw who had opened her door.

"Lucius! What are you doing here?" She asked, feeling uneasy from his presence.

"Severus sent me; he's in the hospital wing." She paled at his words and he walked over to offer her a hand to stand up.

She looked at his hand for a moment before taking it, allowing him to steady her on her feet. "What happened? Is he alright?"

Lucius nodded, noticing that she asked only about Severus, and not Potter or Black. "He's going to be fine." He steered her out of the door and down the stairs. "I saw Severus in the hallways, as he was going to meet Black. He told me what was going on, and I decided to follow just in case. I agreed to wait outside of the whomping willow, and not to interfere with his fight. He got past the branches and a few seconds later Potter showed up. I thought that Black had just sent his friend instead, but then the tree opened up again..." he actually shuddered at the memory.

"What happened?" She asked, as if she didn't know about Remus.

"You aren't going to believe this... hell, I barely do and I saw it... but there was a werewolf. It slashed at Severus, broke his leg, but Potter managed to get him away before it killed him. As they were getting away the tree came back to life and knocked them both out." He paused, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. It was now time to spin his story. "That's when I saw Black, he ran towards the castle, and I followed him, thinking that he was going to the hospital wing." He frowned. "This is, when he got inside the castle he went the complete opposite way of the hospital. I haven't seen him since."

Hermione looked horrified. "Are you sure? Maybe he just went another way."

Lucius shook his head. "No, he never turned up."

Hermione shook her head in disbelief. Lucius had to be lying, there was no way that Sirius would have left James and Severus down there. Of course, he had no problem leading Severus to death, she thought bitterly.

They were halfway down the staircase when she saw a strange bundled figure on the floor. She reached and grabbed Lucius' arm, stopping him. He looked up at her, confused, and she pointed. As she hurried to see what it was, she missed the brief grin flash across his face.

As she drew nearer to the figure, she realized that it was a person. She knelt down and gasped as she realized that she was looking at an unconscious Sirius. "No," she whispered halfway to herself. She looked up at Lucius, tears in her eyes. "It's Sirius... it looks like he fell... he really wasn't going to Madam Pomfrey." She shook her head in disgust. "How could you?" She whispered to his prone body. Wiping away a tear she reached into his robes, extracting her wand. Giving him a last look she rose and started back down the stairs.

"What should we do about him?" Lucius asked, gesturing to the floor.

She turned around, tears flowing freely now. "Leave him."

She tore down the stairs, the silence of the castle ringing in her ears. She was vaguely aware of Lucius' footsteps close behind her, but she paid no attention until she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"Mya..." he started, his voice seeming to convey that he didn't know exactly what to say.

She turned around to look at him, surprised to see the concern in his eyes. "What?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not too good at, well, comforting people, but... well, I know a thing or two about having friends betray you, side affect of being a Slytherin you know." He seemed to relax a little as she laughed at his joke, and continued. "Anyway, I know we're not really friends or anything, but if there is anything I can do... just don't hesitate to ask, okay?"

She eyed him thoughtfully. She certainly hated him in the future, but she had hated Severus too. In this time, Lucius had always been civil to her, and at times almost friendly. He looks sincere, she thought, noticing the faintest hint of tears in the boy's eyes. She smiled at him, wiping away a tear of her own as she did so. "Thanks, Lucius."

He nodded at her and put an awkward arm around her shoulder, which she accepted. They walked in silence for the rest of the way to the hospital wing, each lost in their own thoughts.

************

Severus lay back against the pillows, grimacing in pain. Madam Pomfrey had used Skele-Gro on his leg, making him feel as if it were filled with splinters. She had given him several vials of pain reliever, but he could only take one per hour, and he still had fifteen minutes left to go. He looked over to the sleeping body of James Potter, and growled slightly. How humiliating that he should owe his life to someone that he hated with such passion.

He forced himself to turn away and to shut his eyes. He had sent Lucius almost twenty minutes ago, which meant that Hermione would be here soon. After his little brush with death he needed to have her near him. She had been the last thing he thought about before he was knocked unconscious. He was worried about seeing her, there was a very strong chance that she was furious with him, and that was the last thing he wanted right now. She had every right to be mad, he knew. He had let his testosterone take over, let his hatred for Black take over, and he had left her helpless to do anything about it.

He shook his head violently. Guilt did not mix well with pain.

A few minutes later the door creaked open, and he looked up hopefully. He narrowed his eyes in anger and jealousy when he saw her walk in with Lucius' arm around her shoulder, but it all faded away as she rushed over and threw her arms around him.

"Severus..." she trailed off, sobbing into his shoulder. He put his arms around her, finding it amusing that he was comforting her while he was the one lying in the hospital bed. Lucius pulled a chair over for her, and she sat down, clasping tightly to his hand.

Lucius cleared his throat, and the two turned to look at him. "I'll leave you two alone. Feel better Severus... and Mya,don't forget what I told you."

"Thank you Lucius." She said, as he walked out, shutting the door behind him.

"What did he say to you?" Severus asked, narrowing his eyes.

She smiled at him and waived her hand flippantly. "It isn't important. How are you feeling?"

He snorted. "Well, I've been ripped up by a werewolf, and knocked about by a tree, so I'm not feeling all too well at the moment."

She smiled briefly, but then her expression darkened. "It's all my fault... I should have stopped him..."

He looked at her seriously. "Mya, this is not your fault. I shouldn't have gone off to fight... but it's really Black's fault, seeing as he tried to kill me."

"He did... he really did." She shook her head numbly. "But it's my fault, because I knew."

"You knew? How could you know?" He looked at her in confusion.

"I had forgotten, it happened so long ago... but Sirius, he told me about this... well, a censored version of this... when I was in my third year. I had forgotten about it until tonight. If I had said something..." she trailed off, looking hopelessly guilty.

"It would have happened anyway." He finished for her. She looked up at him with teary eyes and he continued. "Paradox rules, remember? In any case, I don't blame you at all."

"Really?" She sniffed, squeezing his hand.

"Really," he laid his head back onto the pillow. "I blame Black."

"Me too," she said it quietly, but in the silence of the hospital wing he heard it clearly.

He reached out with his other hand to grab the vial off of the table next to his bed. She opened it for him, and he drank the cool liquid, feeling it work right away, all but eliminating the pain. He shut his eyes tiredly, and smiled as she brushed a stray bit of hair off of his face. Even in this horrible position she could manage to make him feel as if the world was perfect with just a single touch.

"I love you," he murmured to her as she stoked his cheek with her soft fingers.

"I love you too, Severus," he could hear the smile in her reply, and he grinned in return. He let his mind wander and he fell asleep listening to her breathing and feeling her fingers running through his hair.

*************

"Mobilcorpus," Hermione pointed her wand at a still unconscious Sirius. She had left the hospital wing as soon as she was sure that Severus was asleep. Tearing through the halls she had come to the place where Sirius lay she considered leaving him there until the morning. However, after a moment of thought she decided to bring him up to her room. She made her way into Gryffindor tower and up to her room. She dumped Sirius on the floor before shutting the door and casting the strongest silencing spell she knew. She pursed her lips, looking at the form of her friend.

"Accio," his wand flew from his robes and landed in her hand. She placed it in her pocket before taking a deep breath.

"Ennervate," she cast the spell at Sirius, who started to moan. She waited while he woke up, feeling the heat starting to rise in her cheeks. After a minute he drew himself up enough to look at her, immediately wishing he hadn't.

"How could you?" Her voice was icily hard, and he winced. He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off before he could speak. "How could you do something so... so..." she struggled for a word that could fit her anger. "You make me sick, Sirius. You tried to kill... to kill Severus,and you used Remus as a weapon. If it wasn't for James, you would be a murderer, and in my eyes, that is exactly what you are."

"Mya... I'm sorry... I..." Sirius ran a hand through his hair as he stood up to face her. As soon as he was fully up, she walked over to him and slapped him hard across the face.

"You're sorry? Fuck you." She spit the words out with him with such vehemence that it seemed to sting him more than the slap. "How sorry were you when you left James and Severus to bleed to death after James risked his life over your mistake? You miserable coward, you just left them to die."

"No! I was going for help... I was..." She cut him off again as he started to explain.

"Bullshit. I found you on the staircase no where near any sort of help. If it wasn't for Lucius..." She shook her head in disgust.

"Malfoy? What does he have to do with this?" Sirius looked at suspiciously.

"He followed Severus out there, and saw what happened. He was the one to go to Madam Pomfrey. He was the one who let me out of my room." At this her eyes flashed again. "You locked me in here, and I had to watch from my window, helpless to do anything."

She paced the room up and down, throwing him dirty looks. He watched her every move flinching every time her eyes passed over him. "Mya... I'm sorry, you have to believe that. I didn't know what I was doing, I was so mad... all I could think of was..."

"Killing him? There is no excuse for that. I don't care how mad you were." She shut her eyes as tears threatened to fall. She bit her lip and continued softly. "How could you do this? Why?"

He slumped down on the bed, and hung his head. "I don't know. I didn't plan it. I knew he was in your room, and I came up to confront you... then I saw you in bed, together, and I lost it. Then when you said you loved him," he made a face like he had swallowed something bitter. "I don't know what happened Mya. My heart broke and I felt this hatred. I have never experienced anything like it... the anger, it was tangible." He buried his face in his hands. "I hate myself right now."

"Well, right now I hate you too." She sat down next to him on the bed, but made no move to comfort him. "I know you don't like Severus, but I don't understand why our being together would hurt you so much."

He licked his lips and sighed. "Because I love you, Mya. I'm in love with you, and you love my worst enemy."

She looked up at him in surprise. "You're... in love with me? When did this happen? After Halloween I thought..."

He laughed bitterly. "It happened gradually, I didn't even realize it until a few weeks ago, but it's true. Although now I wish it weren't."

She sat for a minute, not quite knowing what to say. She stood up again, and leaned against a wall, shutting her eyes. "I'm sorry Sirius, I really am. But it's no excuse for what you did." She took his wand out of her pocket and threw it at him. "I'm going back to sit with Severus and James. I don't want you anywhere near them."

She walked to the door and opened it, pausing to say one last thing to him. "And Sirius... if you ever come near him again..."

She didn't finish her sentence; she just left him there on her bed, cradling his head in his hands.