The Orphans of Barbary

A while ago, I threatened the readers of my other HP fic, Even the Stars Can be moved (find it by checking out my profile ), with a piratish Tom/Hr fic. Well, here it is. Even if you're not into Tom/Hr, however, there's plenty more. There will be other ships, although I'd sort of like to surprise you with them (as unsurprising as some of them may be), so I'm keeping them under wraps. And pretty much everyone I can think of at least makes an appearance, so long as it's pertinent. I'm very glad I thought to include Sirius and Kingsley Shacklebolt. He will prove to be great fun. Off with you. Enjoy.

.((0)).

The orphans of Barbary, that was what they liked to call themselves. More like the orphans and runaway of Barbary, Harry having run away from his wretched adoptive parents in England. It was bad enough being third or fourth son in, in that godforsaken bitter-weathered hierarchy--- try being no son at all. So he'd done as most good boys had done, run away to the harbor, where he'd become a powder monkey on the fourth rate frigate Hufflepuff. After much badcaptainship, a severe lack of Vitamin C, and multiple sustained broadsides, Harry had been absolutely thrilled when pirates ran their bow over the ship and the famous Dread Pirate Sirius Black offered him death or the sweet trade. The sweet trade it was for Harry Potter. For one, once they made it down to the Caribbean, they stayed near the coast, keeping the ship well stocked (especially with that absolutely essential lime juice), raiding the occasional galleon (honestly, who bothered with galleons in the Age of Sail anymore?) and occasionally plunging into the occasional gillyweed-supplemented wracking trade. Harry had managed to amount a small fortune (he was sensible enough not to spend all his galleons at port and kept them in a nice "bank" in Jamaica) and had developed a certain handiness with a cutlass and a blunderbuss. Not only that, he was the go-to boy for all around rigging; no one could clamber up the masts and ropes like Harry.

Hermione was more of a proper orphan. Having lost her mother at a young age, she had grown up on a ship. Her father was an English privateer who had no real choice but to keep his only daughter and spitting image of his dearly departed by his side. Clearly he couldn't have her play any part in the burlyboy antics of his crew, but he could teach her mathematics and the principles of navigation. She took to it like a frog to water, and by the tender age of thirteen she had replaced Navigator Binns, who was ancient and half incompetent anyway. By the time this happened, he was senile enough that everyone pretended that he was still the Navigator, and "Well done, Binns!" became code for a particularly brilliant piece of work by Miss Hermione. That was not, to the consternation of her father, the only thing she took to. An inquisitive girl by nature, she'd sussed out every language spoken by the crew, and had mastered French, Spanish, and Portuguese to the extent that she spoke it better that her crew mates. Including the gutter bits. And God forbid the swag included books (there was one in particular that she never let go of and only read in the privacy of her room; the title was A Compleat Guide to the Parametres of Magickal Thinking and he dismissed it as tripe)--then she could barely be bothered to navigate and her father would have to take on the duties himself. Captain Granger was not nearly as good of a navigator as he was a captain.

Despite this, every so often the wind just doesn't blow your way, and Captain Granger found himself entangled with three French corvettes and sustained an unfortunate amount of damage. He found it necessary to retreat to the nearest coast and careen the boat in order to perform extensive repairs. Looking at his daughter sitting on a dune and reading a book near the overturned boat, he realized he ought to teach her how to defend herself in the case that he came off the worse in such an entanglement. From that day forward, he enlisted Kingsley Shacklebolt as her protector and trainer. She absorbed swordplay like she absorbed everything else--proficiently, especially when supplemented with books. She favored a custom-made double baldric that sheathed both a longsword and a cutless ("After all, Daddy, I can just tire them out by keeping them at a distance if worse comes to worst."). She sometimes stuck a piece of wood in it, Heavens knew what for. For Kingsley Shacklebolt, who had escaped a slave ship by means of swords, had been tutored by Blackbeard himself, and who regarded swordplay as a high art, he had found a kindred spirit. It was due to his protectorship and tutelage that she and he were the lone survivors of the Ravenclaw on that fateful day she tangled with the captured Spanish ship of the line Slytherin, which took no prisoners and burnt the brig Ravenclaw to its keel. Hermione and Kingsley were on the Slytherin's deck at the time, running through as many pirates as they could. In the heat of nearby flames, Hermione made a valiant last effort with tears streaming from her eyes, until Kingsley forced her to see the side of reason and they made off with one of the Slytherin's life boats.

Ron Weasley was one of seven orphans, and his story was the saddest of all. His poverty-plagued family had been en route to the Caribbean to make a new life for themselves when they ran into typhoon season. Mr. Weasley, more through force of will than anything, had managed to procure a lifeboat for his children. There was room for all the children, but none at all for Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. After drifting in the Atlantic side of the ocean for about a week, they were picked up by a certain S.S. Slytherin. Certain of the members of that ship, in particular a Draco Malfoy and a Blaise Zabini (the dark and light sides of the Devil, Percy swore), were looking at the sole female Weasley in a way that the Weasley brothers did not appreciate. And they never saw the captain. Ever. They doubted anyone had, although everyone on board insisted that his name was Tom Riddle, and that he did speak with Navigator Snape, who everyone took their orders from. So, after signing the articles of the ship, they mounted a plan to be carried out as soon as they came to port that would get them out of the hands of said bloody evil pirates. Unfortunately, they came to port earlier than expected, and said plan had major contributions by the Weasley twins, who were much better at mounting practical jokes than quasi-military debacles. As a result, all the Weasleys were separated. The sole consolation for Ron was that he'd last seen Ginevra with Charlie and William, who he trusted the most to protect her.

He had no idea what had come of the others, or even where he was. And he had no money. But at home, he had routinely proved his manliness (a constant necessity for the youngest boy) by swimming in the frigid waters of the Atlantic, and found that he did even better in the warm waters of the Caribbean. After a while he discovered he was on the Barbary Coast, and that there was a certain trade called wracking, which involved diving for treasure, which was terribly exciting. There he met a black-haired, green eyes boy with glasses (part of the swag of a Chinese junk), an artifact he had never seen before, who possessed a certain substance called gillyweed (the swag of a very odd ship of the line called The Hogwarts that had no business being overrun by pirates and whose captain, a certain Dumbledore the Gray, seemed positively twinkly about it). From there he signed a second set of articles and became a part of the Dread Pirate Sirius Black's (he always insisted on the whole title, and laughed at you every time you said it, which convinced Ron that he was a good sort) latest ship, a sorry-looking fifth-rate frigate called The Griffin. He didn't ever forget about his brothers and sister, and dreamt of them frequently, but had absolutely no idea what to do about his situation.

Enter a bossy little female know-it-all accompanied by a very large black man, who one day walked straight up to the Dread Pirate Sirius Black and insisted that he take her on as Navigator. She had heard around town that he had an opening, as it were, and after all Captain Kidd was more famous for having taken on females than for being any kind of a decent pirate. She wore a proper dress and two swords at her waist, and seemed to have as her sole possession a very large book. The Dread Pirate Sirius Black gave her the stinkeye for a good minute and she stared right back. Then he shrugged and said, "Very well", and showed her to her cabin. No one besides the Dread Pirate Sirius Black, his best friend and suspected lover Remus Lupin, and the cooper Peter Pettigrew had cabins to themselves ("Those barrels keep the water clean and the bugs away for entire Transatlantic journeys," had been his explanation, and those familiar with life on a ship with waning stock readily agreed).

Hermione and Ron fought viciously from the first. Harry suspected that Ron instigated the arguments so that he could get a good look at her backside when she stalked away. He formed a tentative friendship with the girl, mostly in case his suspicions were right and he could put a good word in her ear to counteract Ron's git factor. Then one night they docked at Port Royal with fresh swag, and decided to be wicked with their riches in the wickedest, richest city in the world. Over spiced rum they each told their life stories; thus the Orphans of Barbary was founded.

And later that night on the ship, Hermione poked her head into the bunks and called Harry and Ron onto the deck. With great solemnity she pulled out her prized possession: A Compleat Guide to the Parametres of Magickal Thinking. Harry and Ron were nonplussed and asked if she were joking. She wasn't. They decided she was mad. So she pulled out a stick of wood from her baldric (so there were three sheaths), pointed at the book, and muttered "Wingardium Leviosa". The book rose. Ron gasped. Harry looked for a wire.

"I have a plan to find your brothers and sister, Ron," said Hermione.