Survivor

Saturday presented Ravus with too much time on her hands. While other students were rushing to the first Quidditch match of the season, she lay in bed, trying to catch up on the sleep she had lost the night before. When she heard her last roommate leave, she struggled out of bed, quickly getting dressed. She was almost to the door when it opened, followed by Pansy. Ravus made no attempt to leave: Pansy had blocked the exit with her body. Ravus stared at the girl; Pansy stared backed with a smirk on her face, something she seemed to have inherited from Draco

"You made quite some noise last night, Ravus. Did you have a bad dream?" Pansy asked sweetly, though her eyes could have cut glass.

Though the temptation to kill Pansy and Draco was overwhelming, Ravus controlled her temper and put a passive look on her face. "I'm sure that was the wrong bed you were thinking of. Are you sure it was not your own? All those thoughts of Draco must be worth screaming over."

Pansy's smirk hardened; her eyes clouding over with anger. Ravus laughed inwardly at the poor child. Pansy had no defenses and her weaknesses were too apparent. The small vindictive side of Ravus was showing and she felt the urge to let it run and play.

"He treats you terribly and yet you accept it, relish it, love him for it. Does it feel good to be used like that?" Ravus spoke the truth, feeling no guilt when she saw Pansy fight the tears in her eyes. Pansy opened her mouth trying to form words but no sound would come out. She just stared at Ravus, her mouth working like a dying fish. She made no protest when Ravus pushed past and went out the door. The consequences of her actions would be known soon enough but it was time to show Pansy and Draco that she was not a victim.

Controlling herself not to run, Ravus walked briskly out of the dungeons and into the Great Hall to partake of some breakfast. She ate quickly, avoiding eye contact and conversation. Her house realized by now that she wanted no friends and, approach her as they may, she would deal with them politely but coldly, no matter what their intentions were. Her breakfast done, she headed out of the Great Hall towards the library. Her homework had been finished the night before but that place was a sanctuary. She loved the smell of the aged leather, the dust that collected between the pages. The desire to lose herself in a book and leave her world proved overwhelming. After being a part of the Muggle world for a short time, she had no desire to be one of them but their lives were so simple in comparison to hers. No magic to try and control; no dark wizards corrupting the innocent...she sighed and left those fantasies alone. She picked out a book about Muggle "fairy tales" and how the wizarding world had covered up those scandals of magic gone wrong. She picked a chapter at random and in seconds, her sole concentration was wondering how the Ministry of Magic ever dismantled a hundred-foot tall beanstalk that had been seen for miles.

Hours later, Ravus's body was sore for lack of movement and her stomach began to protest its state of emptiness. Moving gingerly, she replaced the book with a longing stroke. It was close to dinnertime and she returned to the Great Hall. Ravus shook her head, realizing that all she had done this week was sleep, eat, and read. If this were all the challenges the year brought, her surviving another year would be guaranteed. The hall was half full, mostly with Gryffindors, whose exuberance had to be associated with a Quidditich victory. The Slytherin table was also half full of students, most of whom were shooting dirty looks towards the celebrating table. Ravus did not understand the motive under the glares, especially since it was the Ravenclaw house that had been defeated. She sat towards the end and filled her plate quickly. As her stomach filled, she looked around at the rest of the students. So many were happy, just over little events. She saw Harry, saw him laughing, and felt such empathy towards him. He knew what life could deal a person and yet here he was, laughing with his friends. Ravus felt herself drawn into his smile and reprimanded herself for such thoughts. She knew better than to let him become a weakness. She finished her meal and left, deciding to take a walk through the castle before heading back to the dungeon. Up the main staircase a couple flights, she made her way to the Astronomy Tower, thinking the stairway up would clear her thoughts enough to let her sleep. She reached the top, appreciating the beauty of the stars. She stared up at the twinkling black when a shadow detached itself from the wall nearby. Ravus refused to show surprise and only backed up a step. Draco's smirk was the first feature the moonlight illuminated; his cold eyes following close behind. Staring back at him, Ravus felt her heart leap then grow cold. Being alone in a crowd was well and good; being alone up in a tower with no one around to hear her scream was violence waiting to happen.

"Ravus," Draco purred, "you've avoided me all day...and to think that we were so friendly last night." He moved closer, Ravus directing her body so he couldn't work his way around her, never leaving her back to him. "Did you sleep well after I left you?"

A smile found its way to Ravus's face, melting her lips enough to speak. "I sleep quite well, Draco. Last night was no exception." She cocked her head to the side, furrowing her brows in feigned confusion. "Though why it's your business...that quite escapes me."

He nodded slowly, his hand moving to cover his mouth. Mumbling, he said, "I did hear a dreadful rumor that someone was screaming in your dorm room last night. I was just concerned that it disrupted your beauty sleep. Not that you need it, of course." He grinned at his prey and she just smiled back, thinking violent thoughts in her head.

"Oh, that. I had just assumed it was Pansy, crying out over a mouse or something of that sort. Such a flighty little thing, isn't she?" Ravus countered easily, trying to keep the conversation away from her nightmare and anything with sexual undertones.

Draco's eyes did anything but harden at the jab at his...lover? Playmate? Toy? His smirk changed to a smile and he drifted a little closer. His eyes flicked to her for a moment and she knew he was enjoying the little game they played. A true sadist enjoys more than physical torment and Draco, from Ravus's viewpoint, needed pain and manipulation in life. "We go back to where we ended last night, Ravus. Every woman has her use. Pansy has many faults but she pleases me from time to time, the only reason I put up with her 'flightiness', as you call it." He stopped pacing in front of her, straightening himself to meet her eyes. "Your use, Ravus, what do you think it is?" he smirked when her eyes hardened. The idea of being someone's property repulsed her; the thought of being his property repulsed her more. He would dominate her, breaking her will as he went till she would not be able to tell him 'no.' She saw his handsome face, lean body, and the power that would drew other women to him. To her, those were the best reasons to stay away.

She began to pace around him and he didn't turn to face her, keeping his back to her was either a sign of trust or supposed superiority. Handsome teenage boys always have a problem with arrogance. "Never turn your back on a wizard unless you have their wand in your hand, Ravus; if you do, you just showed a weakness: arrogance," her father's advice never wavered far from the truth.

She leaned in, barely touching him, letting her mouth come close to his ear. "My use, Draco," she whispered, "is whatever I make it. You have no right to me and you never will." She felt him stiffen at her refusal and she backed away, his turn being immediate. She chided him, saying "This fascination is really quite unnatural after only knowing me for a month, Draco. Whatever would your father say?"

His eyes hardened and the smirk vanished. His face was old without that playful evil and Ravus saw herself reflected in the expression there. "My father," he spat, "would say that I was doing what was necessary to accomplish my duty as a son." She drew back a step, the ante had just been upped: he had said too much, made it personal. He gave her an open weakness and it scared her. He took a step, following her move. "I know a dirty little secret of yours, Ravus." Anger mounted in her eyes and she gripped her wand tightly. "Now how would it look for Hogwarts, such a pure wizarding school that has spent so much time avoiding the Dark Arts, to have allowed a murderess into their fold?" Before she realized, her walls had dropped and the smile had spread across her face; the laugh bubbled in her throat. She knew it was a mistake but instead of regretting it, she let it grow, following the rage across Draco's face.

She let it stop, looking at him full in the eye. "Thank you, Draco, that was the first laugh I've had in a long time. Me? A murderess? Really, Draco, I think your fantasies have exceeded the real world in every possible way; this being the final one, of course. What made you think such a ridiculous thought?"

Draco's face was a priceless expression of rage and drama. She had angered him beyond measure and she didn't see the blow coming until it was too late. She was knocked backwards and he was above her before her wand was out. He grasped her wand hand, twisting it, making it quite clear what would happen if she dared utter one curse. His eyes had gone cold and she was frightened. She had misjudged him. She had thought he was too pureblood and upper class to even consider such actions; they would be beneath him. Even upper-class sadists had breaking points. He twisted until she moaned. He smiled, his feeling of dominance re-established.

"There was a story about a man named Ignatius that disappeared right before you left Durmstrang in such a hurry. My father had known him from a certain...association they both had been members of. They kept a light correspondence and it stopped last year. My father, concerned for his friend's welfare, of course, wrote the school to find what had happened. Unfortunately, Ignatius had disappeared and you reappeared here at Hogwarts. Ignatius had written to my father of the promise you held in the Dark Arts..." He grasped her wrist more firmly. "Now what would the student body think that the newest transfer had been dabbling in the Unforgivable Curses?" His eyes flicked to the scar on her forehead, her hair having been moved when Draco had struck her. "And what would they say about this delightful little scar so much like Potter's?" He straightened, pulling her up with him, letting her fall against him. She didn't struggle, though the urge was overwhelming. "How long would you stay here, Ravus, after all this was known? Not long, I can tell you that, and no place else will take you. Your father already saved you once; do you really think he'd do it again? No, you know better than that. You'd have nowhere to go: daddy wouldn't take you and your whore of a mother is nowhere to be found." He took his extra hand and smoother her hair back over the scar. "Do you want to hear your use now? Potter likes you, wants to protect you from all the ghosts that haunt you. All you have to do is let him. Let him bring you close, feed you strength and warmth." Draco brought his face close to hers, brushing his lips along hers, staring at her the entire time. "When I talk to you, answer my questions. We will be discreet, of course, darling. Wouldn't want Potter getting jealous, would we? Just don't keep running away: neither of our fathers would like that. Just prove you're useful for once, for more than charms and curses."

He crushed his lips against hers then shoved her away quickly. He had left in the matter of seconds and she sank to the ground, feeling violated. That was the most someone had touched her in a year and every piece of it was rotten. The bile rose to her throat but she controlled it. Her breathing was ragged but she controlled it. The tears rose to her eyes but she controlled it. Her thoughts raged uncontrollably and those she let go. Her only concern was arriving back to her room with no more encounters with Draco. Her body rose slowly and her feet guided her shakily down the stairs. She reached the Main Staircase, wishing it would be devoid of all student life, but it wasn't. Standing at the entrance of the Great Hall were Harry and his friends and there was nothing Ravus to do to avoid them. Eye contact was made and Ravus dropped hers quickly, moving in the opposite direction of them. She heard Harry call her name and the footsteps that eventually caught up to her. She leaned against the wall, looking at Harry, her pale face paler, and her eyes vulnerable. She saw him melt into a protector and when he moved to touch her, she scarcely blanched.

"What's wrong?" he whispered, touching her upper arm gently.

Her eyes met his and said, "Nothing that concerns a Gryffindor, Potter."

He barely flinched, the hero role set too firmly in his mind. "Ravus, you can tell me. I saw Draco come from the same way just a minute ago. Did he hurt you? Just tell me...I'll make him regret anything he did to you."

She laughed a bitter laugh and straightened herself. "Are you my protector now, Harry? Are you going to save me from everything in this big bad world?" She saw the hurt in his eyes and hated herself for it. She heard what he said next and hated herself for what she had to do.

"If you let me, I will." He said it quietly but firmly.

She stood on her feet and stared at him. His hand reached out, tucking her hair behind her ear. She closed her eyes at the action, relishing in the passing sweetness and let it go as quickly as it came. She opened her eyes to him gathering her into his arms. She struggled against him and he let her go.

"Don't touch me, Harry. You have no right." She fought the tears and the pain but they came anyway. She ran into the nearest bathroom and released everything she ate that night. Tears mingled with vomit and the frustration she felt doubled. She had done nothing wrong except try to survive. Even passive roles get punished, she thought. She wiped her eyes and mouth, getting ready to leave the bathroom.

"Why are you crying?" said a squeaky voice. Ravus turned and almost looked through a young girl's ghost. She had glasses, pigtails, and wore student's robes.

"No reason. Homesick, mostly." Ravus lied easily, not wanting to confide in a ghost.

The ghost got a disbelieving look on her face and moved in closer. In a stage whisper she said, "I saw you talking to Harry outside in the hall. He made you cry when he tried to hold you. If I were you, I wouldn't have minded at all."

"But you're not me so that leaves you in the dark, doesn't it?"

Ravus left and towards the way to the dungeons. Harry was leaning against a wall but she brushed pass and he made no move to stop her. He did follow her though, making sure no one interfered with her route. Where the stairs went down, he stopped. He couldn't follow her back to the dormitory, she knew that. Having him nearby would have made a lot easier.

She passed through the common room, knowing every eye was on her, noting her disheveled appearance and the tears in her eyes. You create an aura of mystery and people will start the slightest rumor about you. Ravus wondered what would be said about this occurrence. She entered her room, ignoring everything around her except her bed. She drew the curtains and with a quick silencing spell, forgot to control her tears. When the last sob left her, she slept peacefully. No ghosts haunted her dreams that night.