A Little Freak of Melancholy

Chapter 2

My world was shattered.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

She just shook her head and I knew I was lost.

"But there must be a potion that could make you not feel... you know.... This urge to tell him.", she said, trying to comfort me. "I'm going to start looking for it right now and I'm sure you'll feel better in no time... But, Ginny...", she gulped, preparing herself for the question I just knew she would make.

"How could you love Snape?"

How could I love Snape? That was not possible, really. I had never thought of him that way... oh, no, wait. There was this time where I kept thinking about washing his hair with my hands... and this thought led me to think of us in a bathtub, looking quite content and...

But I had dismissed the thought right at that moment and never thought of it again until now.

Well, there had been that other time, when I looked at his eyes and felt like there was something there hidden for only the right person to read, and that time I had this curious impression that I, of all people, would be the only one to read it.

I couldn't dismiss this thought so easily, though. I had dreamt about his eyes that night, but when I woke up I just called that dream a nightmare and moved on with my life.

Oh, and there was this other time when I looked at his body and...

All right, maybe I had thought of him that way... but how come I hadn't realized it until now?

"Because you were too scared to deny your crush on Harry, Ginny."

Now my conscience had spoken and it was right. All I had to do was try and control myself before him until Hermione could find a good potion that would kill this need to talk to him, and everything would be fine again.

Who was I trying to deceive? The thing got worse every time I looked at him! And now I could hear his voice even from the other side of the castle, feel his presence across miles of distance. And that pain inside of me would never lessen.

And even if it did, would I actually keep my big mouth quiet? It's not like there was a potion that could rid you of unrequited love... or was there?

No, there wasn't. At least not in the common area of the library, as I soon found out by reading every single potion book there was to read there. I almost tore apart the last book in the pile out of frustration when Madam Pince came to rescue it from my hand with an angry look.

"You can't destroy the library property!" she said in a very rude tone.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't find the damn potion anywhere!" I sighed, almost crying while I pulled my hair with despair.

That must have been a strange picture, because the librarian just looked at me in concern and said something that seemed quite obvious to her:

"So why don't you just ask your Potions teacher?"