A Little Fall of Rain

A Little Fall of Rain

To Make Lovers From Friends Part IV

September 1, Year 7

Already drained, Lily laid her forehead against the cool glass of the compartment window. A headache was knocking at her temples and nausea was building in her gut.

She was sick of this.

Three fights.

Term hadn't even started - hell, the Hogwarts Express had yet to pull out of the station - and she'd already had to break up three fights: one between some fourth years, one between a group of seventh and sixth years, and one between some first years who had already chosen sides.

The thing was it was hard to remember what those sides were anymore.

Was it just against You-Know-Who or were they fighting for those with Muggle heritage? Was it a war for equality or merely a war against Purebloods? Was it still Gryffindor versus Slytherin or Slytherin versus the other three? Or was it vengeance built up for all the deaths caused by either side? Were they so used to fighting now that they simply didn't know how to stop?

There was a soft knock on the door though Lily knew she'd left it open. Without adjusting the rest of her body, she turned her head.

Just inside the door was James, the knuckles of his left hand still rested against the wood and his brow furrowed in a way that told her he was worried about her.

"Lily? You okay?"

She nodded wordlessly and came away from the window, sinking down onto the seat. She was at a loss as to how to put it into words; she just knew she wanted all the ugliness to be over.

James sat down next to her, stretching his long legs to the seat across from them. Without really thinking about it, Lily let her head drop so that it rested against his shoulder. His black sweater tickled her cheek. For a while, neither of them spoke. Then James shifted and drew something from his pocket.

"Here," he said laying it in her palm.

"What is it?" she asked. It was little blue box.

"Open it."

She did.

Inside, nestled against some fabric, was a little light about the size of a pebble. It flittered out when Lily opened the box and hovered just inside her cupped palm. Remembering, Lily gazed at the shimmering little will, pulsing and quivering slightly in the air.

"I tried to let it go," James said. "But it stayed with me. Followed me around all summer."

Lily got his message and smiled softly.

"I thought they were just lights," she said, unconsciously nuzzling into his arm and shoulder. He was so warm.

"No. She's alive. See?" Indeed the little light was now flirting toward James. Lily was sure that if it had been a real girl, she would have been batting her eyelashes. "Dumbledore charmed them, I think. What happened to yours?"

"I...I gave it away. Peter didn't have one so...I gave him mine."

James turned and stared at her for a moment. His hazel eyes, so close to hers at this moment, told her that he wanted to say something. But when he opened his mouth, he only said,

"We can share."

Lily laughed slightly.

"She's awfully attached to you, if you ask me."

"Yeah, well, I have a way with the ladies."

"Oh really?"

"You're here, aren't you?"

Lily stilled, her heart hammering.

"Yes," she answered finally, quietly. "I'm here."

It went quiet again. While this was not quite how Lily had imagined their reunion, it was right somehow. There was one thing she intended to say however...

Tentatively, Lily reached across his chest and tapped lightly on the shiny gold badge pinned there.

"You deserve this," she said.

He caught her fingers in his and squeezed them.

"Thank you," he said quietly, something catching at the back of his throat. "So do you."

Lily grinned into his shoulder though unsure why that pleased her so much. He dropped her hand and heaved a deep sigh.

"We'd better get out there."

"Do we have to?"

He looked down at her and then said simply,

"Yes."

He lifted his hand and cupped it around the little light, placing her back in her box. She twittered slightly as though saying goodbye on a giggle and he closed the lid. Lily lifted her head from his shoulder and he unfolded his long legs and stood, slipping the box back into his trouser pocket.

He held out a hand.

Lily took it and he pulled her upward. They were nose to nose for a second before James stepped back, clearing his throat. Lily felt a flush rising to her cheeks and turned to hide it.

"I have a folder here of things we need to go over during the meeting. I, um...I don't know if you want to look at it or not."

"Sure," James said easily, taking the folder from her and holding the door open. "Mind you, I don't know much, having not been a Prefect. If you ask me, Dumbledore's finally gone off his nut."

Lily laughed.

"And the rest of the teachers that could have dissuaded him?"

"The house-elves were slipping something into their food."

She laughed again and turned to smile at him. All of her earlier, disagreeable thoughts were gone. She'd left them behind in the compartment.



Three weeks into term...

"Who else is for dropping this shit and sneaking into Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked, throwing down his quill violently and ripping up his half-written essay.

"I am," Remus said, closing his book decidedly. "I could use a Butterbeer."

"Butterbeer?" Sirius snorted. "I was more thinking along the lines of a Guinness, Firewhiskey, and Rosmerta's Special."

"I hope not all at once," Lily said. Sirius grinned at her.

"Of course all at once. Unlike Mr. Head Boy here, I can hold my liquor." He grinned fondly at James who had flicked him off when Lily wasn't looking and returned to his essay. Sirius winked at Lily. "You could probably drink Prongs here under the table."

"He's pathetic," Remus added.

"Two shots and its all over," Peter declared.

"Is that so?" Lily inquired. "James, is this true?"

James didn't look up from his essay but nodded. "Yep. I'm a cheap date."

Lily laughed.

"I've never done it."

"What?" Sirius asked.

"Drank."

"You've never - shit, Lils, you're a little behind."

"I'm a good girl, Sirius, and we're all underage."

"Speak for yourself. I've been of age for six months."

"And you've been sneaking Firewhiskey's for six years."

"Four actually."

"Excuse me then. I stand corrected. Four. Sadly though - whether I wanted to or not - I can't go."

"Why not?"

"Prefect meeting."

"Bloody hell, I forgot," James said, peering blearily at his watch. "We've only got an hour till eight then I've got hall duty. This stupid thing's not gonna get done till six o'clock tomorrow morning."

"Turn it in late," Sirius suggested.

"To McGonagall? Not likely."

"What's your shift?" Lily asked.

"Nine to one."

"I'll do it. That way you can finish your essay."

"No, Lily, it's okay. I can-"

"I'll do it, James. I finished mine and you're juggling a lot right now anyway between captaining Quidditch and Head Boy duties. It's fine."

"You're an angel."

"I know."

She grinned at him, stood, and stretched. "I'm going to go take a shower. James, I'll see you in half an hour. You three," she looked at Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They stiffened, apparently believing she was going to forbid them to go. She smiled, winked, and said, "Don't get caught." Then waltzed from the room.

Sirius stood and grinned.

"Well, boys, you heard the orders. 'Don't get caught.' And you." Sirius leaned down towards James, made his voice go falsetto, and batted his eyelashes. "I'll see you in thirty minutes."

"Just after my shower," Remus added, also in falsetto. All three of them burst into laughter. James glowered at them.

"You'd three better leave before I actually do something with this badge."

"Like what?" Sirius dared.

"Oh, I think detention helping Filch clean out the owlery without magic can be arranged."

Sirius smirked but shut up.

"Where's the cloak?"

"My trunk. Map's in there, too."

"Good. We'll miss you, Prongs."

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same."

"Think about it this way: Lily awaits."

"That's what I keep telling myself, Padfoot. That's what I keep telling myself."



Lily hummed to herself as she climbed the stairs. She really didn't know why she was so cheerful. Maybe it was the fact that she had just taken a bubble bath...

"Lily, wait up."

James' voice stopped her. She turned to see him coming up the stairs behind her, taking them two at a time. She smiled broadly at him and waited.

He was there in no time.

"The other three get out okay?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"You'd like to go with them, wouldn't you?" she asked softly, looking closely at his face.

"A little," James said, staring straight ahead. Then he turned to her. "But there are things I have to do."

That was all.

And yet it left Lily with such a feeling inside. A feeling that was at once a gaping hole and at once full to the point of brimming over.

That's what it was.

That's what was so amazingly different about him. Two months apart and James had become a man.

The realization swept over her and left her stunned.

She realized she was staring at him and that he was watching her quietly with that intense gaze of his. Both factors - combined with her recent discovery - caused her to blush brilliantly and turn away.

James noticed the blush and bit his lip to keep from smiling and/or laughing. He knew he could say something to put her at ease, but, frankly, he was enjoying it. They walked on in silence.

She kept sneaking glances at him, her eyes wide with some realization.

He just grinned when he caught her, she'd look away sheepishly, and they'd continue walking. Then the whole process would repeat itself.

They came to the meeting room and stopped, looking at each other. After a moment, James grinned and opened the door, gesturing for her to go in ahead of him.

She stepped inside and turned, smiling broadly suddenly and holding out her hand for him to take. He took it and together they walked to the front of the room.

The rest of the prefects were already congregated.

"Let's get this meeting started, shall we?"



James rubbed his eyes and looked at his watch. It was eleven-seventeen. He had to look up one more thing, write out a conclusion, and he was done. He'd go relieve Lily the second he was finished and he'd take her shift tomorrow night.

The common room was completely deserted. Peter, Sirius, and Remus were still gone and James wasn't expecting them until much later. Or much earlier depending on your perspective. Part of him was sorry he wasn't able to go with them, but part of him didn't care. It was a strange feeling.

James lifted his Transfiguration text so that he could look through the book underneath. When he lifted it, a bit of parchment fell out and fluttered to the ground. James picked it up.

It was an Auror brochure.

Thinking, he flipped through it. He'd given a lot of thought to what he wanted to do after this year and the fact was he wanted to be an Auror. But he wanted to be the kind of Auror that his great-grandfather had been, in a League like the one that used to exist; not in the kind that existed right now.

He'd get the League back in shape if it killed him.

Sirius would come with him. He was sure of that.

Remus wouldn't. He'd confessed to James that he was afraid what being trained to kill, expected to kill, awarded for killing would do to the Wolf. And he liked working with his hands. He was looking more into research and invention for the war effort.

Although they'd all joked that Remus should, in fact, be working for the Muggle Worthy Excuse Committee. He'd gotten them out of trouble on fictional justifications many times.

They were after Peter to go into propaganda. He could draw anything and the group needed help. But Peter seemed reluctant for some reason. James thought it was mostly because Peter was not yet ready to admit that the real world was, in fact, upon them.

James tucked the brochure away and picked up the book. He had few worries about he and Sirius being accepted into the League. They'd both scored twelve O.W.L.s; N.E.W.T.s were bound to be just as easy. They were the best in the school in dueling and wand handling and stayed relatively cool under pressure. That and James' dad would vouch for both of them. Although James rather wanted to do it without his father's help. Were it not for the fact that half of the Auror League already knew him, he might've entered himself under a different name.

James checked his reference and closed the book. His mind not really on it, he scribbled out a conclusion. Done. He stacked his books and used a Transport Charm to send his books to his dormitory. That finished, he pulled on a cloak and headed out. Lily would be on the ground floor, near Hufflepuff Common. Maybe he could talk her into taking a break with him and visiting the kitchens.

James grinned, remembering her blush earlier. Something told him it wouldn't be that difficult.



Week or so later...

The gold and periwinkle web before her held for several seconds. Lily stood perfectly still, watching the sparkles of energy grow and expand, rotate around each other - and stop. The web dissolved into strands of glimmers and fall away as though an invisible hand had torn through them.

"Damn it!" she burst out, tossing her wand onto the table angrily and consulting the book again. She dropped that on the ground too after a few moments and retrieved her wand. This could only come from her. The book could not tell her how.

Lily closed her eyes and raised her wand, her left hand rising as well with it. She pictured the spell in her mind's eye, felt it, summoned to her. It was a spell she knew well, one that was infinitely simple and - as all simple things - infinitely complex.

Something warm grew at her fingertips and she pulled for more, unconsciously spreading her fingers to give it more space. The warmth began pulsing. Like a heart. The spell now possessed a life of its own. Lily concentrated harder, pulling until she felt the center contract and pull the energy from the air on its own. It no longer needed her.

Only then did Lily drop her hands and open her eyes.

She laughed when her books, bag, and paper on the floor began rising.

In front of her, the web floated again but this time it had a center, a nucleus that beat with the energy swirling around it, gold, periwinkle, and silver.

She was looking at Wingardium Leviosa.

From here - if she desired - she could manipulate it however she wanted.

Lily smiled.

"Finite Incantatem," she murmured. And the spell fell away.

Content as a cat with cream on its whiskers, Lily raised her arms above her head and stretched backwards over her chair. She came back down and gazed unseeingly at the table in front of her - seeing something else entirely - and grinned.

She could do this.

The sound of someone clapping broke her reverie.

Lily looked up, half-startled, to see James Potter standing in the doorway of her abandoned classroom, eyes twinkling, and a smile dancing around the corners of his mouth.

She smiled at him and gestured for him to come in.

"Very impressive," he said, seating himself in the chair across from her and looking every bit as pleased as she felt. "What is it?"

Lily knew he was referring to more than just the web itself.

"It's the body of a spell," she said. "It's life, it's...foundation. It's what I'm going to do."

"Study charms?"

Lily shook her head.

"Build them," she corrected softly.

James stared at her with a blank, shocked expression for a few moments before seeming to suddenly remember that he did, indeed, have to breathe.

"You serious?"

Lily nodded.

James stared at her.

She blushed and looked down. He seemed to be having that effect on her more and more these days.

Without raising her head all the way, Lily looked back up at him.

"Wow."

It came out of him on a breath so that Lily felt the whoosh of air.

"Just...wow."

She blushed and looked down again. He was the first person she'd told.

"That's bloody brilliant!" he exclaimed suddenly and the boyishness of it set her laughing and reminded her who exactly this was.

"When did you decide that?"

"It's been on my mind for awhile," she confessed. "I've been fascinated by it since Flitwick mentioned it in class and I began researching it casually last year. It wasn't until Christmas that I really got into it and began trying it out."

"I thought you wanted to be a Healer."

"It's still my second choice. I just...lots of people are becoming Healers. The fact is that...that very few are even capable of this," she gestured towards the books. "And I think I need to if I can. I love it. And someone's got to."

James continued to gaze at her. Then he smiled and shook his head.

"Amazing."

Lily grinned at him across the table and then busied herself stacking the half a dozen books she'd littered about. She could feel James watching her and knowing that- inexplicably - caused a rosy heat to rise to her cheeks. Her hands slipped and she dropped the book.

James handed it to her and she fumbled a thank you, unable to look at him. Only after double checking that her books were stacked evenly and that her parchment and quills was packed neatly away and that her portion of the table was clear, did she finally dare to look up at him.

He was still watching her, a faintly amused grin working its way across his mouth, his eyes dancing merrily. A flash of annoyance jolted her.

Who was he to be laughing at her when he'd spent the better part of the last two years following her around and asking her out every twenty feet? He had no right whatsoever. And it wasn't as if she was affected by him anyway, Lily told herself. For surely she wasn't.

"Something amusing?" she inquired coolly, mentally congratulating herself.

"No." He shook his head and shrugged. "Not really."

His mouth tugged more and more at the corners. Finally, he gave in and grinned broadly at her. And - hard as she tried to the contrary - all Lily could do was smile back.



Another week...

It was not a good day.

Lily's breath came out in a huff as she unceremoniously dumped her books and bags onto the floor and collapsed rather ungracefully onto the couch.

She was exhausted.

She'd had night duty two nights in a row, followed by mounds of homework due in all her N.E.W.T. level classes. She wanted to lay here and never get up again.

The common room was completely deserted. Her classmates were all in class. Lily would have been in Magic and the Arts except that the class was canceled for the week seeing as their professor had been the target of a nasty jinx from the occupant of a painting she'd bought at an auction.

For her part, Lily was grateful.

The couch was lovely and soft. A slight draft drifted in through the open window and blew chills across her body, but Lily was not about to move just because of a little cold. She settled for lying on her arms and nestling deeper into the couch.

Her eyes closed.

Seconds later she was asleep.

She awoke - toasty and warm - two hours later.

Satisfied with the world in general after her rest, Lily yawned hugely and arched, enjoying the pull in her muscles as they stretched. James was seated in the arm chair at the foot of the couch, reading a rather thick volume, his glasses slipping down his nose, and his hair mussed adorably. He hadn't noticed she was awake.

She grinned at his profile and settled back under her quilt, completely content.

"So Sleeping Beauty awakes," an amused voice commented.

"Morning, Sirius," Lily said, not moving.

"It's hardly morning," he said, snorting. Lily could see him now. He was seated in a chair half behind her head but if she used her peripheral vision, he and his grin were visible. Glancing around, Lily realized that Remus was on his stomach on the floor beneath her and Peter was in a chair on the other side of James.

It was about now that Lily realized that tucked under her chin was a quilt that hadn't been there when she'd lain down.

"Where'd this come from?" she asked no one in particular, lifting it slightly.

From the floor Remus snorted and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Sirius smirk. James' face was rather pink.

"That would be Prongs' doing," Remus said in a voice that was clearly struggling not to laugh.

"Yes, we came in and found you curled into a little ball and Prongsie here couldn't stand the sight of that so he conjured up a blanket and-"

"Can it, Black."

"But, James, I'm just telling her how concerned and-"

But Lily wasn't listening.

She was staring at the rather fascinating shade of red James' ears were turning.

He'd covered her.

Made sure she was warm.

He'd taken care of her.

And always had, she realized suddenly.

It's him.

The realization hit her like a truck and left her winded.

The whole time, it had been...

It had been him all along.

Through everything.

From the beginning, till now, and stretching far into the future.

It was James.

As though sensing that her thoughts were on him, James looked up and right into her eyes.

The bottom dropped out.

And she was falling.



October 17

An icy wind blew the door shut behind them as Lily and James tumbled into the entry hall, thankful to be back in the warmth and attempting to keep their scarves from flying away. They'd just come back from seeing Hagrid about the Halloween Feast decorations and their bodies were numb with cold.

"This is ridiculous," Lily declared. "It's never this cold in October." Her nose and cheeks were pink from the wind and she was attempting to warm her hands by blowing on them.

"They're expecting more blizzards than usual this winter," James said, removing his cloak and shaking skeletal leaves off. "We're supposed to have snow by the first of November."

Lily muttered something that James didn't quite catch but he grinned all the same. She had taken off her left shoe and was examining it for something.

"What is it?"

"Rock," she said, removing the said item and holding it up for inspection. Her socks were bright yellow, contrasting oddly with her black robes and the grey floors.

"Nice socks," James commented.

"Thank you." Lily grinned and wiggled her toes at him then stuck her foot back into her boot. She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by the sound of quick footfalls.

"James, thank goodness I found you." A breathless Professor McGonagall had appeared from no where, her face pale and mouth grim. James wasn't sure which disturbed him more - the look of fear on her face or the fact that she'd just called him James.

"Is everything alright, Professor?" he asked.

She shook her head no.

"No, everything's not alright. I'm sorry, dear. I am truly sorry. Your parents..."

The rest of what she said rushed across James' mind in blurred pictures. Death Eaters...Windhaven attacked...twenty or more...his mother killed...his dad...St. Mungo's...not sure...bad...waiting...he could go. Dumbledore had a Portkey already made.

James closed his eyes against the barrage of emotions that had suddenly assailed him - fear, sadness, tears, anger, Andy.

Andy.

"I'll go get her, James," Lily said. He looked at her blankly then realized he must have said his sister's name out loud. "You...you go to your dad. I'll find her."

James nodded, staring at the floor, unable to process anything completely. Everything was okay in the moment that Lily wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close before stepping back, nodding reassuringly, wiping at her own eyes, and hurrying off to find his sister.

Then everything blurred again.

McGonagall was handing him a paperweight with a phoenix engraved on top. He stared at it for a moment before it dawned on him that it was the Portkey. He hesitated for the briefest of instances. If he went, it was true.

Then he placed his hand on the weight and felt the familiar tug behind his naval. He was spinning.

He landed in what he immediately recognized as a St. Mungo's lobby. Without even stopping to fully gather his bearings, he walked up to the information desk.

"I'm James Potter," he informed the lady, who popped her gum in surprise. She was left with tendrils of pink hanging from her eyelashes. "I was told my father was here."

"That's right," she said, nodding. "Room at the end." She pointed to the right and James went there, ignoring the wizards in lime green robes sweeping past and/or looking at him questioningly.

Lime green robes...Healers...his mother.

Mum was dead.

James heart nearly burst open in that second but he'd closed it up by the next. His dad. His dad needed him. Andy would need him when she got here.

The idea of his dad needing anyone was so strange that it scared him.

He reached the end of the hallway and pushed the last door open. He stopped mid-step and his throat constricted when he walked in.

His dad was lying in the bed, his face cut up and bleeding. A large gash grazed across his left temple and his nose looked broken. Every part of his skin James could see was bruised, his chest and stomach were covered in bandages, his right arm looked to be burnt badly. His knuckles were bleeding. But worst of all was the ghostly whitish-green tint of his skin. James did not need to be a Healer to know that he was badly off.

His father tried to turn his head when James walked in, but couldn't manage it and his face creased with pain.

"Don't, Dad, I'm coming," James said, his voice breaking like it hadn't done in years. He was at his father's side in seconds, tears already forming in his eyes.

He wouldn't let himself cry.

"They... got your mother," Harold Potter said. Tears were trickling unchecked down his cheeks and dozens more filled his eyes. James didn't know what else to do but take his father's hand. His dad was watching him closely, his breathing unsteady and labored and his cheeks growing paler by the second. Very quietly, he said,

"You understand, don't you James?"

James thought he did.

"I can't live without her." His dad choked slightly. "I could try. It... would never be the ...be the same. I'd never be able to fight again...the Healers say I... might not be able to even walk properly. I'd have to come in for blood transfusions every...every couple months...they put... a poison in me. I'd die in another ten...fifteen years. I...I could try." He spoke as though every word was costing him great effort. James closed his eyes against the image of his father so weak.

"But I don't want to," his dad continued quietly, his voice slightly stronger. "I don't...want to live like that...dragging you...you and your sister down. And...your mother is..." His father's faced creased with pain again but this - James knew - was pain of the heart. "I've had her...beside me for twenty years and that's not something...that's not something I want to get used to going without."

James opened his eyes and looked into his father's. He understood. Even as the tears finally flooded over, he nodded, clasping his father's hand even more tightly. His throat was so tight he couldn't use it to speak or to sob.

"I love you, James," his father said. "Never doubt that. And Andy. I love the two of you so much."

James' breath hitched uncontrollably, tears now streaming down his cheeks. His father's grey eyes gazed back up at him with all the love he was professing. James bent and kissed his father's face, their tears running together. "I love you, too, Dad," he whispered brokenly.

Harold Potter - largely considered to be one of the greatest Auror's in the world - raised his good hand to his son's face and caressed it gently. His finger grazed the tip of the silver glasses, so like his own, and he looked into the eyes and face that were so like his mother's. He smiled slightly.

And died.

James felt the life of his father pass out of him and into the air around him, nearly caressing before flying away to be with his mother.

"Bye, Dad," he whispered. His face dropped onto his father's still chest and he inhaled deeply, fighting back everything that wanted to burst from and wanting to be close to him this one last time. The smell of his dad's aftershave still clung to him. James remembered climbing over his father like a monkey as a small boy, how the broad shoulders and back had supported him without difficulty, and how that smell had clung to his own clothing long after his dad had left for work.

Then it was gone.

James lifted his head and stared at the serene half-smile on his father's face. He'd gone back to Renee. His parents were together again as they had always wanted to be. Neither would ever be alone. And everything was going to be alright.

James raised his hand and gently closed his father's eyelids. He then swiped beneath his own eyes and stood to inform the Healers that his dad had passed on. He turned.

Andy was in the doorway.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"No." She shook her head. "He can't have left. Not without-"

Her self-possession left her and she ran over to the bed and collapsed onto her father's chest.

"No, Daddy," she pleaded. "No. What about me? You didn't say goodbye. Wake up. Wake up, please. Please." She was sobbing uncontrollably, her shoulders heaving. James watched her in her grief, an emptiness filling his chest. He walked directly behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, letting her know he was there if she needed him.

Andy turned and buried her face in his chest, hiccoughing and sobbing. She clung to him, her tears soaking through his robes to his skin and his heart. He bowed his head over hers and held her as tightly as he could.

When his legs threatened to give way he sat down at the foot of his father's bed and held her. She was still clinging, still shaking, her hair in wet tangles around her face.

James continued to hold her long after she'd cried herself to sleep.

She was all of his family he had left.



Lily rubbed her burning eyes and looked for what was probably the thousandth time towards the closed door at the end of the hallway. She hurt for them. It was as though she could feel their pain from all the way down the hall.

Next to her, Sirius had his head in his hands, fingers pulling at his hair. Unable to say or do anything else, Lily laid her hand gently on his head and smoothed his hair down with her fingers. She was slightly surprised when he seized her hand and held it tightly.

A door to their right creaked open. Both Lily's and Sirius' heads shot up and turned towards the sound. A youngish Healer with light blue eyes smiled apologetically at them and said, "Sorry, I know you're waiting for the Auror's son."

"And daughter," Lily heard herself say. She was worried about Andy. She tried to imagine herself as a fourteen girl losing both her parents in the same day and having not been able to tell either of them goodbye.

"Is there anything I can get you?" the Healer asked.

"Um..." Lily thought about it, running a hand through her hair. They needed some place to stay. Some place comfortable. They would need food and a change of clothes and a couple beds. Two at least - one for Sirius and James and the other for her and Andy. She half-laughed, thinking about it. "Not unless you know of a free motel with all the comforts of home."

The Healer looked thoughtful but Sirius spoke first.

"Andromeda," he said.

"What?" Lily asked.

"Andromeda, my cousin. Her and Ted don't live too far from here. They wouldn't mind if we kipped out there for the night. I'd need to get a hold of them, explain..."

"Do they have room?"

"It's not a huge place but we can conjure beds up in the living room or something, can't we? And it's a warm place. They're both nice and Nymphadora'll probably do James and Andy good."

Recalling the pictures Sirius kept of and by little Dora in his wallet, Lily smiled. "That's a lovely idea."

"You can use the office fire, if you'd like," the Healer addressed Sirius, gesturing over his shoulder. "I'll take you over there. You going to be alright here?" he asked Lily.

"Fine," she said, rubbing her shoulders. She was so chilled.

He looked at her for a moment as though he wanted to argue with her then shook his head and gestured for Sirius to come with him. The two walked off down the hallway.

Lily watched them go, not really thinking about anything in particular. She hadn't been able to leave after bringing Andy; she just hadn't. The girl had clung to her until the moment she'd been three feet from the hospital room door and heard her brother's voice.

Sirius had arrived shortly after Andy had gone into the room and Lily had been left staring at the door. She'd heard footsteps and turned to find Sirius standing not two feet away, his handsome face creased with worry and his eyes dark with sorrow.

Lily could only assume McGonagall had sent him and Lily was grateful. James needed his best friend. Lily admitted to herself that she needed him too.

A hand holding a cup appeared directly in front of her face suddenly, startling her. Smiling slightly, Lily took the hot chocolate from Sirius and held it in her chilled hands.

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

He slipped a blanket around her shoulders and sat down, holding his own steaming mug.

"I talked to Meda. Her exact words were 'Of course you can come?' Dora's already out of bed - cartwheeling around the kitchen if I heard her right - so we don't have to worry about waking her up."

"That's perfect," Lily said. "They're such nice people; I really don't think James and Andy were up to going back to Hogwarts or their...their home."

"No, I don't think that would've been a good idea either."

They were silent for a couple of minutes.

"Do Remus and Peter know?" Lily asked.

"Yes. McGonagall found us, told us. Remus basically ordered me to come. He told me to go, he and Peter would stay behind and that James didn't need all of us looking like the world was coming to an end. He said James needed me more than them." Sirius looked down at the floor as he said the last part, a mixture of embarrassment, pride, and something Lily could only think to name as disbelief.

"It's true, Sirius," she said quietly. "James loves you above all others."

Sirius looked up at her quickly.

"Not you."

Lily nearly laughed aloud the thought was so absurd.

"I'm serious," he said. "You don't know what...how highly...you have no idea how he feels about you."

And they fell silent again. The only sound in the room was the occasional scuffling of a Healer's feet and the sound of the clock on the receptionist clock.

Tick, tick.

Sirius took Lily's empty cup from her and transported both mugs with a flick of his wand. Unable to stand the waiting much longer, he stood and began pacing.

Tick, tick.

Thump, thump, thump.

Tick, tick.

Thump, thump, thump.

A door creaked open and Sirius and Lily turned to see James emerge from the hospital wing, carrying a sleeping Andy in his arms. He looked at them both and managed a small, half-smile. Lily wanted to start crying again at the sight of it. But she braced herself and helped James maneuver Andy onto the couch. He stood and watched her sleep for a few moments when they'd finished. Sirius laid a hand on his shoulder. James turned and looked at him and without a word passing between them, the two men hugged, holding on to each other tightly.

Lily had to turn away at the raw, haggard emotion on both their faces. She knew James' parents' had been to Sirius what Sirius' real parents had never been. Quietly, she gathered everyone's cloaks together and covered Andy with a blanket; goosebumps had risen up and down the girl's arm.

When she turned back around, James was watching her.

"We have a place to stay," she said shakily under his steady gaze. "We...well, Hogwarts is awfully far. Sirius' cousin Andromeda lives only a couple of blocks away and..." she trailed off.

"That would be great," James said tiredly. "Can we Apparate there?"

"Yeah," Sirius said. "Meda had Ted temporarily disable the wards. We can go whenever we're ready."

"Let me talk to the Healers," James said, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes. He put them back on. "Then we can go."

"I can find them, if you'd rather," Lily offered. He looked at her and nodded and she left to find one.

She returned three minutes later.

James lifted Andy into his arms again and the three looked at each other.

"One," Sirius counted. "Two. Three."

There were a series of pops and they were gone.

They arrived, seconds later, in Andromeda Tonk's living room and quickly found themselves accosted by a small flying thing with bright blue hair.

"Sirius!" she screeched, launching herself at him. Andy stirred but didn't wake.

Sirius knelt down to Nymphadora's level and raised a finger to his lips.

"Shh, Dory," he said. "She's asleep." He pointed at Andy.

Little Dora's gray eyes grew quite large.

"Oh!" she whispered, covering her own lips with her finger. "Shhhhhh!"

"Right." And Sirius hefted her onto his shoulders where she sat beaming. She waved at James.

"Hey, there," he whispered. She held out her little hand to him and solemnly removed his glasses, placing them on her own face. Lily stifled laughter. Andromeda swept into the room then - a beautiful, stately woman in royal blue robes - holding out her arms to embrace Sirius.

"How are you?" she whispered. She turned to James. "As well as to be expected, I'm sure. Lay her down up here, James. I fixed Dora's room for the night; Dora will be sleeping with Ted and I."

James and Andromeda disappeared up the stairs for a few minutes then came back down, James looking oddly as though he was not sure what to do with his hands now that Andy was gone. Lily settled his dilemma by slipping her hand into his and squeezing gently.

From her throne on Sirius' shoulders, Nymphadora cheerfully stuck out her hand to Lily.

"I'm Dora," she claimed, smiling angelically.

"Lily," Lily said softly, taking the proffered small hand.

Dora stared hard at her for a second before squinching her eyes shut and going tense all over. When she relaxed and her eyes popped open again, her hair was the same as Lily's.

She touched it and giggled, delighted with herself, turned to her mother and crowed,

"Look, Mummy! I made it work!"

"Yes, dear," Andromeda said calmly. "That's very good. Why don't you go get your new coloring book to show Uncle Sirius and Uncle James?"

"And Aunt Lily?" Dora wanted to know.

"Yes and Aunt Lily."

"Okay." And the little girl trotted off to one of the adjoining rooms.

' "With any luck she'll get distracted," Andromeda said to them. They sat down around the kitchen table and - seconds later - Andromeda Tonks had conjured up steaming mugs of fresh tea for them to drink. They sat in silence for several minutes, Andromeda, Lily, and Sirius exchanging looks while James gazed rather blankly at his cup.

After a few minutes, Andromeda reached out and laid a hand on James', speaking quietly.

"James, sweetheart, you look exhausted. I can brew up a potion for dreamless sleep in fifteen minutes if you'd like to go upstairs and shower and change. The second cot in Dora's room is for you and Sirius. I expanded it so it should be big enough."

James nodded.

"Thank you," he muttered. "Don't worry about the potion; I'll...I'll have to deal with the dreams eventually. But I will take you up on the shower."

"Up the stairs, second door on the right. I'll take some of Ted's nightclothes up in just a minute."

James nodded again and stood. He washed his cup with a quick spell and set it on the counter. He turned back to Andromeda.

"Really," he said seriously, looking her straight in the eye. "Thank you."

"It's really no trouble," she said, her eyes oddly wet.

James walked from the room and up the stairs. A few minutes later they heard the shower start.

As though suddenly overcome by exhaustion or emotion, Sirius exhaled loudly, folded his arms across the table, and dropped his head onto them.

"Shit, shit, shit," he muttered violently. When he lifted his head again, his eyes were sparked dangerously. "They didn't deserve this, James and Andy... when I find out who it was, I'll kill the bastards."

Lily didn't say anything to correct him.

Andromeda only sighed and picked up their empty cups.

The only sounds in the entire house was the ticking of a nearby clock, the spray of water from an upstairs shower, and - very faintly - the murmurings of a little girl issuing orders to her army of dolls.



Lily awoke at two o'clock in the morning for no apparent reason.

Something nagging at the back of her mind, she slipped out of bed and stood for a moment, looking around the small room bathed in moonlight.

Dolls and toys and books were strewn everywhere. Hippogriffs', unicorns, mermaids, dragons, and all other sorts of creatures slept peacefully on the walls and a little girl ballerina rested not-so-gracefully against her frame, small mouth wide open and hair sticking out of her bun.

It was odd to be surrounded by so many childish things when she felt so old.

Her gaze fell to Sirius, who had already managed to claim the rest of the bed in her absence. Andy had woken just as they were all getting into bed and had climbed in with James before Sirius could. So that had left the two of them.

Lily couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Sirius blush.

She grinned at his prone form and turned to check on James and Andy.

Andy was sleeping peacefully thanks to a Dreamless Draught.

James' place was empty.

Concerned, Lily pulled on the robe Andromeda had given her and padded softly out of the room and down the stairs, careful not to make any noise.

James was in the living room, staring out of a huge window that seemed to look out onto yet more darkness. Lily could not tell what he was looking at from here, but the moon threw light onto his face, hair, and shoulders, throwing his features into sharp relief.

He was beautiful.

And lost.

His tragedy pulled at her all the way across the room. She could feel the sadness coming off of him in waves and the gaping hole in his heart that had been so full and was now so empty.

He was a million miles away.

Her throat aching, Lily sat on the bottom of the staircase, intending to be there when he came back to her.

Lily had no idea how long she sat there, alternately making patterns in the carpet with her feet, gazing at James, contemplating her nails, or otherwise staring into space. A chapel bell chimed somewhere, tolling four before going silent.

"It doesn't feel real," James' voice said quietly and suddenly. He half-laughed. "Part of me thinks it's all been a dream and tomorrow I'm going to get a Howler from Mum for not writing in a month."

He spoke lightly but there was pain in his tone and his voice caught on the end.

Lily stood and went to him, but stopped when she got there. She didn't have the slightest clue how to comfort him. She would have given him everything she was and had if it would make him feel better, but she wasn't sure if even all of her was enough.

But she offered it.

Standing in front of him, hands hanging loosely at her sides, fingers spread slightly as though aching to sooth, her eyes offered him her entire being.

He took her hand and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair. Lily hugged him close, pouring every good thing she could muster to feel into him.

"Lily?" he whispered finally, pulling away slightly and looking at her.

"Yes?"

"You know I can deal with this, right?"

She nodded and tried to speak.

"I know. I just...wish you didn't have to."

Her voice warbled and broke, and she wiped furiously at the tear that had escaped one eye while another trickled down from the other.

James smiled slightly and wiped it from her cheek with his thumb. He looked at it for a second and then turned back to her.

"I was getting at something else." He'd left his thumb where it was to remove the tear and his hand now cradled her cheek. His eyes - deep brown with flecks of green - locked on hers. It was very difficult to breathe when he was looking at her like that.

"My dad left his life here to be with my mum. He left me and he left Andy. She was his life. Andy doesn't understand and she'll never forgive him." James' voice low and completely steady. Lily's arm was lost in shivers where his fingers rested lightly. "I understand." It was almost whispered. "I don't think I'd be able to deal with it if I lost you."

Lily's breath caught and stuck and she wondered if he could possibly be saying what she thought he was saying.

"So try not to leave me, will you?" James ended lightly, smiling slightly. He pressed his lips to her forehead causing her to tingle all the way down to her toes. He looked down at her for another long moment before squeezing her hand gently, bidding her goodnight, and going up the stairs to his bed. He slept soundly.

Lily, however, did not sleep at all. She took James' abandoned post at the window, watching as the sky slowly lightened to silver, then pink, then grey, and finally to a startlingly bright blue.



When Dora came bouncing down the stairs at a quarter till eight, dragging a stuffed dragon by the tail, she was puzzled and asked Aunt Lily why there were raindrops on the inside of the glass instead of the outside. She was even further bewildered when Aunt Lily said that sometimes it rained on the inside too.

But wayward rain was forgotten when Aunt Lily announced that blueberry pancakes were for breakfast and if Dora would help her make them, she could claim the biggest one as her own and wouldn't even have to share it.

"Not even with Bartholomew Gareth?"

Bartholomew Gareth was her dragon.

"Not even with Bartholomew Gareth," Aunt Lily declared. "He can have his own pancakes."

Dora grinned toothily and trotted after her into the kitchen.



Upstairs, Andy Potter woke to the smell of her mother's pancakes.

It took her a minute to remember that her mother was dead and that this was someone else's house and that those were someone else's pancakes.

Tears filled her eyes again.

She was alone.

Unconsciously, she stretched out her hand for someone, something, anything to hold onto. She didn't want to be alone. She was too young to be alone. Though she'd been going out of her way to prove the opposite for two years now, fourteen year old girls still needed a mummy and daddy.

Just as the tears were about to flow over, a strong, warm hand seized hold of hers and held it tightly. Andy's eyelids fluttered open.

He was there.

With her dad's hair and her mum's eyes, real and solid right in front of her.

She wasn't alone.

James was here.

This time, when she curled up into him, she wasn't crying; only hugging him as tightly as she possibly could to ensure that he wasn't going ρ

