Embers

"Another night slowly closes in and I feel so lonely
Touching heat freezing on my skin I pretend you still hold me
I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep
I'm in too far, I'm in way too deep over you
I can't believe you're gone
You were the first, you'll be the last" The Flame, Cheap Trick

Minerva McGonagall laid her head upon the table. She was weary, and despite how many years had passed, this day never seemed any easier. The tough façade she managed to present for the majority of the year always slipped on this day, May 1^st. The date was stamped indelibly in her memory, for it was the date that her husband was taken from her. Alastair McGonagall had been her first, and only, love.

There was a knock on the door, and Minerva smiled faintly. Pomona Sprout always spent this evening with her, reminiscing. Madam Pomfrey was always telling her that it was 'healthy to talk', and it was true that she felt a little better after talking about Alastair for a bit. She walked across to the door, and sure enough, Pomona stood on the other side. Pomona gently touched Minerva's arm. "How are you coping this year, my dear?"

Minerva sighed. "Not so well, I'm afraid. All this with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, it seems to be bringing it back to the surface." She walked away from the door, and stood by the window. "Every time I hear of a death, I know that someone else is suffering the way that I have these past fifty-three years."

Minerva put her head in her hands, and Pomona hurried towards her. "Oh, Minerva. I know I say this every year, but Alastair would not have wanted you to suffer so." However, Pomona could see it was already too late for these reassurances, for Minerva already had a tear trickling down her cheek. "It was cruel, my dear, that for those two years of happiness you should suffer so, but Minerva," and with that Pomona gently turned Minerva's head back upwards, "weren't those years that you were together worth it?"

Minerva nodded, and took a deep breath to steady herself. "Oh yes. They were wonderful. I have never known anyone to be so happy as Alastair and I were. It was incredible, the way he changed from the annoying boy in school who always pulled my pigtails, to the man I loved and respected more than any other." She smiled. "Do you know, Pomona, I asked Albus once why he always paired us up in lessons when I so clearly detested him. And do you know what he said?" Pomona shook her head. "Apparently, he knew from the day that we were Sorted that such a pair of feisty young Scots belonged together. I think he first realised his mistake in pairing us up when I turned Alastair's fingers into carrots because he was knocking my arm every time I tried to perform the 'Fera Verto' spell."

Pomona giggled. "What did he do back to you?"

"Bearing in mind that we were only in second year, there wasn't really much he could do...I was so shocked that I'd managed to do it at all, I couldn't think of another spell, and Alastair had a little bit of trouble holding his wand with carrots for fingers! From what I recall, it took Albus a good five minutes to cast the counter-jinx correctly, because he was laughing too much."

It was clear that this was the release that Minerva needed, for the smile was slowly beginning to reach her eyes again. "I remember clearly when I first thought of him as anything other than the most irritating boy in school. It was something so simple - I dropped my Transfiguration book, and he picked it up and dusted it off for me. It was the first time I'd seen him do something that was entirely for somebody else, and I would say that that was when I began to fall in love with him."

Pomona smiled gently. "Did he ever say when he fell in love with you?"

"Oh, Alastair claimed that it was love at first sight for him. However, he said it first became the real passionate love when he saw me transform into a cat for the first time. He was always wildly jealous about that, because he was abysmal at Transfiguration. Charms, he excelled in though. We often wondered which one of us our children would take after. Personally, I always wanted a daughter who had the best qualities of the both of us, and none of the worst. I always imagined her to be a little like Miss Granger, do you know?"

Pomona nodded. "Yes, I can see that. I do hope that she and the boys are alright - have they reported in at all this week?"

"Yes, just yesterday. Harry told me that they were close to finishing. The end cannot be far off now, I suppose." Minerva rolled her wand between her fingers thoughtfully. "All we can do now is protect our students, and hope that no-one has to die to protect Harry. The guilt would be too much for him to cope with, I fear - it was almost too much for Albus, after all, and he was the strongest man I ever knew."

"Albus never really forgave himself, did he?"

Minerva shook her head. "No, never. He was convinced that he should have been more aware - the fact that he was battling three other men at the time did not seem to matter to him. We all knew that he was the only one with any chance of defeating Grindelwald, and if it hadn't been for Alastair, the curse would certainly have hit him."

"Do you think Alastair knew what he was doing?"

"I'm certain of it. We both loved Albus like a father, and if the curse had hit him...well, the alternative did not bear thinking about. We discussed it the week before the battle, actually. Not that we knew what would happen, of course, but we both realised that there was a strong chance that we wouldn't both make it through the battle unscathed, and I had a strong feeling that something terrible would happen."

Pomona furrowed her brow. "Did you tell Albus that you were willing to take the Killing Curse for him?"

"No! He would have forbidden it straight away, and we were not going to take a chance. And as it turned out, it was lucky we didn't tell him. I never told him, in fact. He would have blamed himself even more had he known it was a conscious decision." Minerva bit her lip. "I sometimes wish that it had been I who had taken the curse for Albus. The only thing that stops me thinking that way is the realisation that then it would have been Alastair who would have suffered the way that I've done. There is no way in the world that I would wish that upon anyone else."

Pomona looked pensive. "You know, Albus was right. Love really is the greatest magic of all. Take care, Minerva." With that, Pomona left the room, and left Minerva to her thoughts. Albus had been correct when he stated that. Albus had someone who loved him enough to take the Killing Curse for him, and Grindelwald had not. Minerva only hoped that history would repeat itself. Once this war was over, Minerva had a feeling that she would finally be reunited with her love, and freed from her pain.