Finding Magic

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those to love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

"When You Wish Upon a Star"

From the Film Pinocchio

**Wishes**

December 23, 2003

"The fire in the goblet had just turned red again. Sparks were flying out of it. A long flame shot suddenly into the air, and borne upon it was another piece of parchment. Automatically, it seemed, Dumbledore reached out a long hand and seized the parchment.

He held it out and stared at the name written upon it. There was a long pause, during which Dumbledore stared at the slip in his hands, and everyone in the room stared at Dumbledore. And then Dumbledore cleared his throat and read out--"

I peered over the huge book that lay in my lap. My three younger siblings and my best friend were looking back at me with widened eyes and mouths trembling with anticipation.

My youngest sibling was squirming already. "Ooh! Jacquelyn tell us! We want to know who it is! Come on!" she jittered, trying to take a peek at the book.

I chuckled and pulled it towards me. "You already know what's gonna happen! I've read this story to you a bazillion times!"

My best friend, Rylee, was snickering behind her hand. "Yeah, but it gets better every time," she whined.

"So do you wanna know?" I asked them all.

"Yes!"

I cleared my throat and puffed up my chest, causing my siblings who happened to be twins, Chloe and Ryan, to snicker.

"The fourth Triwizard champion is..." Rylee started a drum roll on the surface of the rough cot. The others followed and did the same.

As soon as they abruptly stopped, I said in a deep voice,

"Harry Potter!"

There were cheers throughout the room. The youngest one of the family, Jaime, and the twins got up on their feet and started jumping all over the place. They were all clapping and laughing. Rylee and I watched in amusement.

"Wow! They really love those stories," Rylee said, not taking her eyes off the younger children.

I turned to my friend. "It gives them hope," I said, smiling.

Rylee nodded and all current activity was stopped as Mrs. Dawns came in the room. She smiled at the younger ones, who stopped jumping and looked up at her innocently.

She laughed and said, "Jaime, Chloe, and Ryan, out! Bedtime! Leave your sister and Rylee to themselves now." She turned to us and winked.

There were groans of reluctance, but they all followed orders. "You want to go to sleep so you can see Santa Claus tomorrow, don't you?" And with that, they all left.

Before Jaime left the room, she turned towards my direction and ran over to me. She jumped in my lap and whispered into my ear.

"You'll finish the rest tomorrow, right? And we'll read the fifth one this weekend?" she asked with hopeful eyes.

I nodded and Jaime jumped up, wrapping her arms around my neck, squealing in delight.

After Rylee and I were left alone, we turned off the lights and laid back on our hard cots. Each of us stared up at the ceiling for some time before Rylee spoke.

"What do you want for Christmas, Jack?" she asked, using my annoying childhood nickname. She didn't take her eyes off the ceiling.

I thought about it for a while, tapping my chin every so often. Then I said, "I guess just to be with the twins and Jaime. It will be a great Christmas this year; better than the others. I'll be sure of it."

Rylee nodded in agreement.

Since my parents died when Jaime was just born, Jaime, Chloe, Ryan, and I had lived in an orphanage on Main Street. The day after tomorrow was not only Christmas, but the day my parents died as well. They were traveling home from a business trip in Texas, when they were rammed into another car by an eighteen-wheeler, who had skidded on the ice. All they wanted to do was be home with us for Christmas, and now they would never see us again.

It had been five years since then; Jaime was five, the twins were eleven, and I was turning fifteen in January. It seemed to have passed all too quickly.

This Christmas, Rylee's mom, Mrs. Dawns, insisted that we stayed with her over the holiday. The orphanage let us go, reluctantly, in agreement to our safe return.

I turned over to face the wall. "Rylee, what do you want for Christmas?" All I got in response was some light snoring.

I turned over to look at my friend, but it was dark and couldn't see her. "Ryls? Rylee?"

I chuckled and rolled back over. I wished I could go to bed that easily.

Soon after, I heard people caroling outside Rylee's bedroom window. I raced over to the window on the other side of the room and lifted it up.

I was greeted with snow falling gently all over my face. I smiled and listened to the carolers' song:

"Joy to the world,

The Lord has come.

Let Earth

redeem

Her King.

Let everyone

prepare him room.

Let Heaven and Nature sing,

and Heaven and Nature sing,

and He-eave-en and Nature sing!"

I smiled and waved at them. I decided against joining in because I didn't want to wake Rylee. After a few more songs including "Silent Night", "The First Noel", and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas", I closed the window and returned to bed.

Before I let sleep consume me that night I prayed.

Oh please let Christmas be wonderful...for all our sakes...

~*~

There was a slight bouncing on my cot.

I groaned in annoyance and popped one of my eyes open. I was greeted with the sight of my three younger siblings, hopping up and down on my cot.

Ryan grinned cheekily at me. "Did you put them up to this?" I groaned.

"I dunno." He tapped his chin, still bouncing on the creaking cot. "Maybe."

Ryan was usually in charge of his younger sisters, even though Chloe was only younger than him by two minutes. He ruled them with an iron fist and was able to get them to do anything he asked, much to my annoyance.

Jaime and Chloe laughed, causing Rylee to awake, startled.

"Huh? What?" She looked around the room, seeing the three bed-jumpers and let out a "Humph".

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to scare the shit outta me?" she asked, glaring daggers at the little kids.

She received a smack in the arms and looked up to see her older brother, Jarred giving her a fake stern look. He slipped into their room just as Rylee woke up. She rubbed the red spot on her arm.

"What was that for?" she asked, almost pouting.

"Language," he said. He walked over to the bed-jumpers and took Chloe and Jaime in his arms. They squealed for him to let them down, but he carried them downstairs to get ready to go and see Santa Claus.

Ryan followed, leaving Rylee and I alone once again.

"Can't you just wait until tomorrow? You ready to see whatcha got?" Rylee asked, watching as I unpacked my clothing. She turned around and looked out the window as I began to change.

"All I want for Christmas is for Jaime, Chloe, and Ryan to be happy." Rylee smiled and patted me on the back. Then she began to change as well.

When we were both done, Rylee wrapped her arms around my shoulders and led me downstairs. Jarred was trying incessantly to get Jaime's coat on and Ryan and Chloe were playing video games on the PS2.

Mrs. Dawns came into the room and handed Rylee and me our coats. "Chloe! Ryan! You can finish your game later. Santa can only stay at Macy's so long before he has to go back to the North Pole for tonight," she said winking at Jarred, Rylee, and I who smiled knowingly.

"And Jaime please stop jumping up and down so Jarred can put your coat on!" Jaime immediately stopped jumping and Jarred slid her sleeves over her arms and began to button it up.

Once everyone was ready, they headed out to the minivan. The ride to the mall seemed endless. Ryan had got Chloe and Jaime to chant, "We're going to see Santa," over and over and over again.

Somehow Mrs. Dawns ignored it. She either had in earplugs or was mostly deaf, because the time they got out of the car Rylee, Jarred and I were ready to kill.

Running, skipping, hopping, and walking along, they made their way to the entrance of a very crowded Macy's Department store located in Herald Square at West 34^th Street and Broadway in New York City. Rylee, Jarred, and their mother lived only twenty-five minutes away (longer, though, with the traffic) in the Bronx near the Long Island Sound.

Although there was little snow outside due to the snow plows, inside was a sight for sore eyes. The railings were covered with tinsel and there were Christmas trees everywhere. Red and green decorations were put up and Christmas songs were playing in the background. There were numerous people so Mrs. Dawns kept reminding us,

"Stay close, hold hands, and don't get lost."

We heard trains honking their horns and saw tiny soldiers marching around like wind up toys. I had gotten my wish; Chloe, Ryan, and Jaime's eyes lit up completely and they were filled with complete and utter joy.

Jarred was busy watching the trains move around in a big figure eight. Rylee and I weren't that tall so we couldn't see over most of the people. Mrs. Dawns did manage to finally get us in line to get the younger kids' picture with Santa. There were thousands of other families there.

Some of the kids were dressed up, some of them were running around screaming until their parents stopped them, and one little boy in front of us was crying over a spilt ice cream cone. I thought my ears would fall off.

After forty-five agonizing minutes of waiting in line, Ryan trotted up proudly to Santa's lap. Rylee, Jarred, and I found the nearest empty bench and sat down to watch.

I took my coat off and hung it on back of the bench. There was a sixty-five percent chance that it would get stolen, but I didn't care at the moment. I laid back against the hard metal and watched how the Department Store phony interacted with my little brother.

Santa Claus was not as fat as he was supposed to be and his beard was much longer than normal. At first I thought that it was just that the store had cheaply picked out an actor this year, but then I saw his eyes twinkle as Ryan approached him and I knew something about him was special. Like I had seen him before ....

"Merry Christmas! What would you like from Santa this year, Ryan?" Santa asked as Ryan sat on his lap.

Rylee and I looked at each other.

Santa had a British accent. Weird.

And how did he know Ryan's name? It was all very strange.

Ryan looked up at the older man in awe. "How did you know my name?"

Santa did not answer, but pressed his finger to his nose and winked. "What do you want for Christmas this year, Ryan?" he repeated.

Ryan shook off his wonderment and started listing various items, "I want a new Road Master bike, a pet giraffe, a giant trampoline, a pet puppy..."

I kind of tuned out after that as Rylee and I started a conversation.

"That was weird, wasn't it?" she asked me.

"Yea, I know what you mean. I feel like I kind of have met him before, ya know?"

"Yea, he just seems so familiar. The twinkle in his eye, British accent, and his very long, pointy beard are also strange for a Department Store Santa. " I only nodded. It was Chloe's turn to sit up on Santa's lap.

I knew I had seen him somewhere before, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"So anyway, who are you taking to Stacy's New Year's Eve party? You know everyone's gonna be there," she asked me in a hushed tone so Jarred couldn't hear.

"I dunno if I'm going yet. It seems stupid just to go there to see the ball drop on TV instead of ... oh, I dunno ... seeing the actual ball drop. Plus you know how much I hate Stacy." I said, watching Jaime finally go up to sit on Santa's lap.

He smiled kindly at her. "What would you like for Christmas this year, Jaime?"

Jaime only smiled and held her hand to the older man's ear. She started whispering and I tried to ignore Rylee's constant talk and strained my ears to hear what my younger sister was whispering. After a few seconds I gave up, only to see Jaime hop of Santa's lap cheerfully.

Mrs. Dawns and the three little people strolled over to us, dodging people as they did so. "So, do you kids wanna do some shopping before we eat lunch?" Mrs. Dawns asked us. We all nodded and proceeded to move around the store.

I began to walk away when I noticed my coat was still on the bench where Rylee, Jarred, and I were sitting. "I'll catch up with you in a minute!" I yelled to everyone. Mrs. Dawns nodded and watch me sprint back to the bench.

Just when I reached over to grab my coat, someone brushed against me from behind. I looked up and saw the same cheap-looking Santa that had spoke with a British accent. He looked down at me and said, "Sorry."

The old man in a red suit and hat walked over to the employee part of the mall and slipped inside a deserted hallway. My curiosity got the better of me and I followed the strange Santa. I stopped and hid behind a corner and watched what he was doing. He checked to see if anyone was there, took out his wand, and with a little flick his red clothing items changed into dark green and dark purple wizarding robes.

I'm going insane, I thought as I watched what happened in total shock.

I shook my head and walked back to the bench to grab my coat, denying what I had just witnessed. I walked slowly back to the store where Mrs. Dawns had everyone and didn't tell a soul what had just happened. They wouldn't believe me anyway. Plus, I didn't want to go to the insane asylum on Christmas Eve. That would suck.

On the other side of the mall, Albus Dumbledore Apparated with a 'pop' to Hogsmeade and bought some Lemon Drops from Honeydukes .

~*~

After a long day at the store, I collapsed on my cot. Rylee was already a sleep, but like I said before, I can't fall asleep as fast as she can. But also, something was troubling me and I didn't know what it was exactly.

I had a horrible run in with Stacy in a store. She had confronted me about coming to her party and when Rylee and I tried to tell her to politely shove off, she got all bitchy on me. I can't stand that girl! She always teased me about not having parents.

She reminded me of a female Draco Malfoy and I just wanted to smack that evil little smirk off of her face.

Actually, I could relate to Harry a lot. I lost my parents, and while I had some memories of them while they were alive, I still knew what it felt like.

Yep. We were almost exactly the same ... except that his parents were killed by an evil Dark Lord and the fact that he was a wizard and could do magic.

Sometimes I just wished I could use magic to bring my parents back. To see them one last time. Tears started to form behind my eyes, but I didn't cry.

I remembered the song my mom used to sing to all of us when we had trouble sleeping. Sometimes I still sing it to Chloe, Ryan, and Jaime just to help them remember. They deserved better than this; we all did. So to help me go to sleep I started humming the tune, and then whispering the words I knew so well.

"Dancing bears,
Painted wings,
Things I almost remember,
And a song someone sings
Once upon a December.

Someone holds me safe and warm.
Horses prance through a silver storm.
Figures dancing gracefully
Across my memory...

Far away, long ago,
Glowing dim as an ember,
Things my heart
Used to know,
Things it yearns to remember...

And a song
Someone sings
Once upon a December."

Once upon a December ...

Tears started flowing freely from my eyes.

Mom, Dad, I miss you. I need you. Please come home...

I rose from my cot savagely wiping the tears from my eyes. I was strong and I didn't cry.

It was then I knew I had been strong for too long and that I needed to cry. I couldn't bottle it up any more and let it fizz out horribly later.

I didn't want to wake up Rylee so I crept down stairs and out the back door. I walked into the backyard and over to the swing set. I was just about to have a seat on the swing when I heard the screen door slam shut behind me, so I ran. I ran as fast and as far as my legs could carry me.

Once I heard the footsteps behind me slow down, I stopped. I looked around only to see the Long Island Cemetery, where my parents are buried. I hadn't been there since their burial service.

Gathering up my courage I walked over to the two barred entrance doors and pushed the right one open. It made a horrible creaking noise and I looked around to make sure no one had heard or seen me. When the coast was clear, I entered the cemetery. My steps were long and prided and my head was held up high.

I finally reached their grave stones which were covered in withered rose petals and snow. I knelt down and read the writing on the tombstone.

Here Lies

Jacob and Leila Randolf

Jacob Randolf Leila Morris

1962-1998 1965-1998

Beloved Children and Parents

Virtute non vi δ

On the bottom was the Randolf family motto. It meant "By virtue not by force".

I heard footsteps behind me and prayed that it wasn't the caretaker or a policeman who was going to bring me downtown for trespassing. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. Slowly I turned around and looked into the bright blue eyes of Jarred. His eyes were so clear it was like they could see right through you and his brown hair was ruffled because of the wind.

I let out a sigh of relief before I found my voice, "W-what are you doing here?"

He smiled softly at me, "I followed you to make sure you were okay, but you took off. Damn, you're a fast runner!"

He laughed and I cracked a smile before Jarred noticed the grave I was standing in front of. His expression softened and his eyes held care, sympathy, and a hint of warmth. God, I love when he smiled.

"Jacquelyn, why did you come here?" he almost whispered.

I turned back to stare at the grave, not wanting to let him see me cry. I wasn't the type of person who would share what they were feeling. "I--I didn't come here, per se. You scared me when you slammed the screen door. I just ran. I don't know why, I just did. When I finally stopped, I was here."

He stared at the grave for a minute and so did I. All kinds of memories played through my brain. I began to hum the tune to "Once Upon a December" like I had minutes.

"You haven't been here since the burial service, right?" he whispered softly into my ear.

I shook my head wordlessly as my tears fell onto the ground. "It's okay. It's okay," he whispered over and over again.

I had to let it out. Even though Jarred was standing right behind me, I had to let out all the pain and anguish I had kept bottled up for so long. I knelt down before the grave a whispered savagely,

"Why did you leave me here? Why did you leave me all alone? Why?!" I finally screamed into night, not caring who heard or who woke up.

"I hate you," I said. "I hate you for leaving Chloe, Ryan and Jaime! I hate you for leaving me!" I screamed and I fell back into Jarred's chest sobbing uncontrollably.

He tightly wrapped his arms around me and rocked me back and forth. "Shh. It's okay. Let it out," he whispered gently.

We stayed there until my tears subsided and no more could flow. Jarred grabbed my hand and helped me to stand and with one last glance at the tombstone, we began to walk back to the house.

Once inside again, we began to climb the stairs to our rooms and right before I went inside Rylee's room, Jarred stopped me.

"You'll never be alone as long as I am here," he solemnly promised.

My heart began beating wildly and I smiled shyly.

"Thank you," I whispered, starring deeply into his eyes.

He bent down and my eyes fluttered shut instinctively. He placed a chaste, but sweet, kiss firmly on my lips before moving a breath away. "Good night," he said before turning and going to his room.

I cannot believe that just happened! I had a goofy grin on my face, but I didn't care.

I turned and walked into the room before shutting the door quietly. I walked over to the mirror that was on the wall above Rylee's dresser.

I looked at myself. My bright blue eyes were darkened by the night, tear stains fell down my cheeks, and my caramel locks fell straight down to my hips. I remember Rylee telling me to cut my hair short, but I like it this way. It looks just like my mother's. The moonlight reflected off the mirror for a second. I saw my small nose that was dusted with freckles. I used to hate them so much. All of my friends had perfect skin, but then my dad told me that having freckles meant that angels had kissed your cheeks. I loved him for that.

I wasn't the prettiest girl or the brightest, but my parents loved me regardless. Hopefully time would heal all wounds. So for now all I could do was wait.

I laid down on my cot and closed my eyes.

Tomorrow was going to be a wonderful day, I could tell.

I didn't know how right I was.

~*~