No Ordinary Love

No Ordinary Love

By Time and Tide

Chapter One: Internal Dialogue

Remus wasn't going to miss the place.

The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix was changing locations, and that suited the former professor fine. Grimmauld Place reminded him too much of Sirius, and what had happened to him. Nobody knew who the rightful owner of the place was now, so they had to get out as soon as possible. If the property now belonged to Bellatrix or Narcissa, they would be very unwelcome guests.

Dumbledore had called them all in for an emergency meeting to discuss what they would be doing next. Hogwarts seemed to be the logical choice for their new base of operations, especially since school was now out for the summer. By September, they would hopefully have a permanent place to meet.

None of this meant very much to Remus at the moment. All he could think of was that his last remaining close friend was gone. He was now the last of the Marauders. Pettigrew was still alive, but he no longer counted. He was also being faced with the reality of being homeless. He had been living at Grimmauld Place with Sirius for a year now. With all of the anti-werewolf legislation that had been passed of late, his potential for finding employment was desperately slim. Arthur and Molly had offered him space with them, but Remus had been hesitant to accept, as it seemed like charity to him. Besides that, Dumbledore had mentioned that he might have something for him to do over the summer.

He needed to get out of there. He would spend the night the same way he had been spending them since that night at the Ministry. He would Apparate to the Hog's Head and drink until he passed out. Remus had known Aberforth since the first war and knew he would provide him with a room to sleep it off in. It wasn't the healthiest way of dealing with his pain, but it was the best he could do right now.

Remus was just finishing up double-checking to make sure he had all of his belongings packed up when he heard the sound of someone crying. The sound seemed to be coming from the sitting room across the hall from his bedroom. Admittedly, it wasn't such an unusual sound of late. Since the battle, he'd heard Molly crying after nearly every Order meeting. This didn't sound like her, though. The crying sounded like it was coming from someone younger, almost child-like. Remus immediately thought of Ginny, but knew that she wasn't there. The logical side of his brain told him to ignore it. He was having a hard enough time keeping his own demons at bay, let alone trying to help someone else battle theirs. And yet, his emotive side, the side which seemed to bring him nothing but pain, forced him to cross the hall and knock upon the closed door. The voice he heard in response surprised him.

"Can't a person find some bleeding privacy in this place? Sixty fucking rooms and I can't find one to be alone in?"

Remus was double shocked. For one, Tonks had always seemed most at home amongst a crowd. She was always the first to volunteer for group assignments, such as the one to bring Harry here before term started. The idea that she would want to avoid people seemed alien to him. Even more shocking was the thought of her crying. Tonks was always the one to play the clown, to provide the comic relief that the serious times so often called for. Nothing ever seemed to faze the light-hearted Auror. What could be so horrible that it had affected even her? Feeling very much wrong footed, Remus wanted nothing more than to be on his way.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Nymphadora. I'll leave you alone."

Remus had only taken a single step before a still quavering female voice called back to him.

"Quit calling me that and get in here!"

Remus frowned. He really didn't want to talk to anyone right now, especially a crying young woman. He could pretend that he hadn't heard her, but he knew she was a lot smarter than a lot of the others gave her credit for. She'd know he had ignored her, and he couldn't do that. So, instead, he took a deep cleansing breath, squared his shoulders, and opened the door.

The sight before him provided yet another shock for him. The form Tonks had chosen was that of a very attractive young woman. She had short brown hair that framed her heart shaped face nicely. Her eyes, perhaps because of their wetness, sparkled a dazzling amethyst color that seemed to lighten the otherwise gloomy room. The sight of those mesmerizing eyes, her Cupid's bow pink lips, and her young athletic body combined to nearly cause the former Marauder to forget the true purpose he had come in for.

"I'm sorry, Tonks."

Tonks wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands.

"You've said that, already."

Remus fought back a laugh. He could only imagine how pathetic he looked in attempting to console someone right now.

"I know. It's all I can think of saying."

Tonks sniffed and gave a nervous little laugh.

"I must look a treat, eh? Me, the great Auror, crying like a stupid arse."

Remus frowned and moved to look directly at her.

"You are not stupid, nor an arse! All of us are grieving, Tonks. You think you should be embarrassed? You should feel grateful, grateful that you knew him. I feel the same way, Tonks. I miss him like a brother, like I miss James. They were my family, and I've lost them, just like you have."

Remus turned away to hide the tears in his eyes and the trembling of his chin. For a long moment, a heavy silence hung in the room between them.

"Tell me about him."

Remus thought he might have imagined the voice he heard it was so quiet.

"What?"

"Tell me about him, about Sirius."

Remus did not turn to face her.

"What do you mean?"

With his heightened senses, Remus felt more than heard Tonks getting off the sofa to stand close behind him.

"My mum was disowned for marrying my dad, remember? Sirius kept in touch with us, but I rarely got to spend time with him. I remember having a crush on him, though." She let out a tinkering of a laugh. "Girls always like a rebel, you know?"

Remus couldn't help but laugh. Sirius and James had always seemed to do well with the ladies. The thought of Lily, however, caused his laughter to quickly cease. Turning to see her more hopeful than sad, he walked over and sat down upon the green suede couch.

"What do you want to know?"

Over the next two hours, Remus found himself answering a seemingly endless amount of questions. The tales of Sirius' antics with his fellow Marauders had the both of them laughing and swiping at their eyes all over again, this time due to tears of mirth. Later, the story of his last few months holed up in the despised home of his youth caused the two to sober up once again. In the end, both felt as if they knew the man who had been Sirius Black much better. As Remus got up to take his leave, the sound of a choked sob caused him to turn back and look at Tonks.

She had begun to cry again. Remus' heart sunk. He had intended to console her, but now she was weeping harder than ever. Feeling like an utter failure, Remus bent down to kneel in front of her.

"Tonks, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to."

Tonks shook her head as Remus offered her a conjured handkerchief.

"Would you quit apologizing for everything? You're as bad as my last boyfriend. I'm not crying over anything you've done, I'm crying over what I've done. Or what I failed to do, really."

Remus didn't understand. What had she failed to do? Was she somehow feeling guilty about not knowing Sirius better?

"Tonks, you couldn't help-"

A now enraged Tonks suddenly cut off his words.

"It was my fault! I should have been able to handle the Death Eaters I had been dueling with faster. I should have been the one to face Bellatrix to the death, not Sirius. He was there to save Harry. He loved Harry, I know he did. They should be together now, just like Sirius always wanted. I should have been the one to fall into that archway, not him. He had Harry... and I've got nobody."

Remus felt his own eyes sting as Tonks burst into renewed crying. He had been so wrapped up in blaming himself that he had never stopped to believe that someone else might. He considered how Harry must be feeling and cursed himself for his selfishness. He had allowed, not for the first time, to let his own self-loathing stand in the way of doing what was right. He might be unable to help Harry at the present, but he would be damned if he didn't do what he could for Tonks.

"Tonks, it wasn't your fault."

Tonks made to argue but was cut off.

"No, listen to me for a moment. I'm as much to blame as you are. I was at the Ministry, too. Do you think that Sirius would have stayed behind? Never. Keeping him imprisoned here was no less cruel than placing him in Azkaban. Sirius would have freely given his life for Harry, or for any of the rest of us. That's the kind of man he was, and to do otherwise would have been unthinkable for him."

Saying this, Remus felt as if he was attempting to assure himself of these things as much as he was Tonks.

After another long silence, Tonks raised her still tear-stained face to look back at Remus.

"In truth, neither of us is to blame. It was Bellatrix and Voldemort. They killed him."

Remus was slightly taken aback at Tonks' use of the Dark Lord's name. It made it even clearer to him that her resolve to fight had not been dissuaded by the events that had recently taken place. A greater respect for the young woman caused Remus to see her in a whole new light. Despite her youth, Tonks was a formidable ally in their fight against the oncoming darkness. At the thought of that darkness, Remus took notice of the failing light filtering in through the thin and dingy window curtains. He had failed to notice the passage of time that had occurred while they had been talking. Looking at the coach clock on the mantle, Remus noted that it was now approaching evening.

"It's getting late. I was planning on leaving tonight, but I don't have to. I think we've still got a few days until ownership passes. Are you hungry? I can open up a nifty can of baked beans. You could even stay over if you'd like. There are eight bedrooms here. We can talk some more if you want, too."

Tonks gave him one of her much more typical grins and moved towards the door.

"Thanks for the offer but, I better be getting home. Dad still waits up for her like I'm some sort of spotty teenager. I hope he'll still recognize me. I don't show my real appearance very often; he's used to seeing me with neon hair now. I guess I just didn't feel much like changing today."

Remus nodded in understanding. She would naturally want to go home to her family. At the same time, he couldn't help feeling disappointed. Being around her for the last few hours had made him feel better about himself. He couldn't quite explain why.

"All right, then. Be careful going home. And remember, if you'd like to talk, I'll be happy to listen."

Tonks' smile grew wider as she enveloped him in a surprisingly strong embrace.

"Thank you, Remus. I feel a lot better. I'll see you at the next Order meeting. If I need anything before then, I'll let you know. The offer goes both ways, you know. If you need to talk, I'm available. I'd better go now. If dad knew I was alone in a house with a single man, he'd do his nut."

Remus laughed a bit awkwardly as Tonks released him from her embrace.

"Thanks again, Remus. You're a good man."

Tonks then stole away any chance of Remus responding by leaning forward and placing a kiss on his scarred right cheek. Then, with a very girlish sounding giggle at the sight of his dazed look, she began to make her way down the steps towards the front door.

The sound of Tonks tripping, swearing loudly, and then banging shut the front door woke the painting of Sirius' mother. Her shouts and curses rang out through the entirety of the house, but Remus failed to notice it. He would have failed to notice anything at the moment. All of his senses were focused on one particular spot, the place upon his cheek where Tonks' lips had been moments before.