Charming Memories

Crabbe and Goyle fidgeted in the hard, high-backed chairs, which were far too small for them. Snape had summoned a curtain, attached to the ceiling, which he used to divide the room in half. The two boys sat in their chairs on one half, staring miserably about them at the table, with the butchered phoenix beak, the brass cauldron, now cooling, the unidentifiable bits of slimy, knobbly, spiny, squidgy, and lumpy things in jars--and each other. "It will be all right, Greggy," murmured Crabbe in an uncharacteristically gentle baritone.

"Shh!" hissed Snape from the other side of the curtain. "One more noise out of either of you and you'll find yourselves transformed into hideous--into unspeakably foul--I'll make you regret it. He's almost awake."

Draco was stirring now on the divan. Snape had cast a charm to take away the lump on the back of his head. His eyes had taken on the characteristic flat sheen of one under the influence of Veritaserum.

"Draco," Snape said softly. The boy's head turned slowly towards him, looking at his Professor with calm unguardedness. Snape already had a fairly good idea of what Draco had witnessed, based on Crabbe and Goyle's account, which was thankfully sparse in detail. But he needed to ascertain what exactly Draco's reaction had been, and the state of his mind prior to casting the charm on himself. He did not relish the idea of hearing more details regarding Crabbe and Goyle's... intimate encounter (he suppressed a shudder), but he saw no other sensible option. Besides, he had seen--not to mention participated in--some very depraved, disgusting, wrong things in his life, and he'd been able to deal with all of those. He felt he was up for the task. Much as he'd rather the task did not exist.

"Draco, I need for you to tell me what happened today." Malfoy began to speak, in a flat voice, free of emotion.

"I woke up, got out of bed, bathed and dressed," he began. "Then I went downstairs to breakfast. I ate toast and--"

"Skip forward a bit."

"I went to my first class." Snape did some mental calculation. It must be about one o'clock in the afternoon; the three students had probably been in his room for about forty-five minutes, which means that the... incident must have taken place during the lunch period.

"Skip forward to your last class before lunch. Transfiguration, isn't it? What happened after you left transfiguration?"

"I gathered up my books and notes. Crabbe jumped up as soon as the bell rang and ran for the door. He tripped and spilled all his things. Goyle stayed behind with him to help him pick it up. I laughed at him and went down to the dormitories to drop off my bag. I went up to the Great Hall for lunch. I started to eat. Bean salad, rolls, and chicken pie. I got an owl from Father. He was going into London and told me he was picking out a birthday gift for my second cousin Helena, at Durmstrang. He's trying to set me up with her. She's not bad looking." Malfoy droned on in the same uninflected voice.

"He told me to reply immediately, because he didn't have much time. I didn't have a quill, and no one else at the table did either. So I went back to the dormitories to fetch one. I walked through the Common Room and through the tunnel to our rooms. And then--" Malfoy hesitated.

"And then what?" Snape probed. This was extremely odd. The Veritaserum potion removed all inhibitions and strictures against speaking from the subject it was administered to, no matter how intimate, secret, or difficult the topic. Perhaps his memory surrounding the event was still affected.

"And then I saw it." There was a silence.

"...Saw what, Malfoy?" Snape said impatiently.

"Them." There was another pause, and Snape felt like he would scream. Thankfully, the boy continued. "Crabbe and Goyle. They were shagging. Crabbe had Goyle bent over the back of the bed--MY bed--and they were both completely naked. They were panting and covered in sweat, and Crabbe kept thrusting--"

"Okay!" Snape interrupted him quickly.

"And I stood there in the doorway, just shocked out of my mind. And disgusted. Very, very disgusted. And they didn't even notice me, they were going at it so hard, and then Goyle got down on his knees and started--"

"I get the picture!" Snape said hastily.

"And I stood there, unable to move. It was like my brain froze." Interesting, Snape thought. He made a mental note of it. It was probably just a figure of speech, but all the same.

"And then Crabbe pulled out my broomstick from under the bed. My Nimbus 2001. I had just polished it the night before. And he put it up--"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Snape shouted frantically. In the brief silence, as Malfoy thankfully refrained from elaborating on the subject, he heard Crabbe and Goyle shuffling in embarrassment behind the curtain. At least, he HOPED they were shuffling in embarrassment. If they were doing anything besides shuffling in embarrassment, he would force-feed them a quintuple dose of the Intestinal Spasm Solution.

"And by this time there was a sort of noise coming out of my throat. A sort of high whine, like a tortured dog. At first I didn't even realize where it was coming from, but then I realized it was coming from me. And Crabbe and Goyle heard it, and they looked up, and they froze, in shock. And we just looked at each other for what seemed like hours. I could feel the image in front of me burning into my retinas. Burning into my brain. And I knew I would never be able to wipe that horrible image from my mind. That I would forever be haunted by the thought of Crabbe and Goyle, doing disgusting things together, on my bed, with my own broomstick.... That never again would I be able to sleep in my bed, or play Quidditch on my broomstick, because it was all horribly tainted...

"And then... it came to me. I realized that the only way I could go on living, the only way I could stop myself from going mad, would be to purge my mind of the memories... I remembered practicing Memory Charms... not very often, but just for fun. I would cast them on the servants and laugh while they forgot what they were in the middle of doing. I wasn't terribly good at it. And so I ran back out into the common room and pulled my wand out of my robes, and aimed at my head, and shouted Obliviate, and cast the charm as hard as I could.

"And the next thing I knew... I was floating in this strange world. I felt like I was almost out of my body. All I could think of, the only thoughts and images dancing before my mind, were of Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe and Goyle, shagging. Goyle, sucking Crabbe's--"

"Yes, I understand!" Snape interrupted.

"Crabbe, sticking my broomstick up Goyle's--"

"I know about that!" snapped Snape, in a near panic.

"Crabbe and Goyle, on my bed. Crabbe and Goyle, with my broomstick. Crabbe and Goyle, in the Slytherin dormitories, with the broomstick. My brain, tainted forever. All I could think of is that somehow, some way, I had to purge my brain... had to make myself... clean. Had to forget. It was like a nightmarish dimension from which there was no escape.

"But then, all of a sudden... it ended. And I was sitting on your sofa, in your office. I didn't remember, right away. I had this strange feeling that there was something I ought to remember... and yet, another part of me didn't want to recall it. And then I looked around and saw... Them. And everything came back."

"Thank you, Draco, that's enough," said Snape.

"I will find a way to cleanse my brain," said Draco flatly, staring at the ceiling. "I will be free."

Snape summoned a Dreamless Sleep potion from a shelf, and poured it down Draco's throat. The boy slowly closed his eyes. His jaw slackened, and he passed into unconsciousness.

Snape stood up and viciously yanked back the curtain.

"You! And you!" he yelled. Goyle and Crabbe jerked apart guiltily. "I'm going to see the Headmaster. You two," he growled, stalking towards them threateningly," are to sit on opposite sides of the room--" Here he made Goyle's chair, with Goyle still in it, fly across the floor to one side of the chamber, and Crabbe's chair to the other. "You two are not to so much as TOUCH one another while I am gone." He glared back and forth. "On second thought, come with me," he snarled. "I don't trust you two alone." He shook his head in disgust.