Precious Exile

Precious Exile

Just as the Marauders were leaving breakfast to pack for the train home, a snowy owl swooped down over the Gryffindor table. The black ribbon tied around the note and the golden seal on the scroll identified it to anyone who could not read the addressee. Sirius eyed it with disgust, much as other boys would eye a Howler. In six years at Hogwarts he had never been able to see that owl without a feeling of imminent doom washing over him. Nothing, not even the night everything went wrong at the Shrieking Shack and James risked his life to save Snivvelus, could compare to the dread he felt. He took a deep breath and reached to take the scroll from the owl, which had perched on a basket of bread.

"Sirius, what does your dad have against Howlers? Too showy for the Blacks?" teased Peter as they exited the Great Hall.

"Much - someone might overhear and get the strange idea we can do wrong. I might get a Howler for using the wrong spoon, but for something that gets me expelled, it gets worse."

"'A private word' with my dad is worth a dozen Howlers, too," chimed in James sympathetically.

"This," Sirius said, tapping the scroll in his palm, "is probably my sentence - the world cruise with my happy family aboard the Queen Mab. Talk about Endless Summer - there will be no escape. Surrounded by my parents, and their god-awful friends. I wish I had learned that Bubble Head spell - I'd try to go overboard."

"You already went overboard; that's why you're in trouble," Remus said almost to himself as he stared off into space, apparently waiting for a magical staircase to connect to the landing. James gave him a good natured shove when it was finally safe to start climbing again.

"Into the Valley of Death!" joked Sirius with a heavy sigh as he broke the seal. His stomach clenched painfully at the sight of his father's neat, perfectly ordered script.

Dear Sirius,

You will be pleased to learn that you will not be expelled from school. I had to call in more favors than you're worth, but between me and that upstart Potter, the Board of Governors is convinced that no harm was done and you will be allowed to finish your education at that school. Potter also had the audacity to suggest you spend the summer with him, under his supervision. "No reason to punish your family by canceling the holiday just because you can't reward Sirius with such a lovely trip." The cheek!

In light of that rather obvious blackmail, I have seen to it that Potter's son James will be appointed Head Boy next term, in light of his services to the school. I believe this, and a summer of your services at Potter's home, will clear our debt.

In summary, I will be taking Potter up on his offer - you will be serving your punishment at the Potters' and will not come home until you've had time to reflect on the damage you have done to your own reputation, and your family's. You are not to set foot in Grimmauld Place until I send for you. Perhaps this exile will make clear how very displeased your mother and I are.

I expect not to return home owing the Potters any more favors. Remember yourself. I will be watching.

Black

"Bugger me!" Sirius said. A wide smile replaced the look of gloom that had been on his face. He positively glowed with joy as he stepped through the portrait hole into the common room. "James, it worked! He bought it! He's banished me to your house for the summer!"

"You're kidding! My dad said he was dancing around the truth at the last Board of Governors meeting, but he didn't think it would work!" James said as they climbed the last stone steps to their room.

"Oh, it worked! And guess what? Guess who's going to be the next Head Boy?"

"You lucky bastard, not you!" Peter laughed. "How did he manage that? Did he promise you in marriage to all their daughters?"

"And Regulus to their granddaughters!" chortled Remus.

"Not me, you idiots! James! The hero of the hour!"

Peter opened their door and bowed to James. "All Hail the Conquering Hero!"

James stood stock still and Remus had to give him a shove through the door. "Your dad made me Head Boy?" he said, shocked.

"In light of your Services to the School, and all that rubbish. Apparently my dad had a dance-partner at that meeting. He felt he owed it to your dad," said Sirius, hopping up on his bed to wait for the other boys to finish packing.

"You have a scary family, Sirius. A very scary family," said James as he cleared his Quidditch gear out of his closet.

Sirius grinned from where he lounged on his bed as the boys finished closing their trunks. "Don't I know it! And you also get the pleasure of my company this summer, you lucky boy!" He flopped over onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows, "Honestly, James, it will be better than last summer!"

"When Peter had to take the test three times before he got his license? That's not setting the bar too high, Sirius," Remus teased.

"That's not fair - you young pups had the benefit of my experience!" Peter bristled. "You and Sirius never would have passed so quickly if I hadn't hit all the tricky parts first and warned you!"

"Remembering both feet was a tricky part, Peter?" teased Sirius. "No matter -we'll all have our Apparition licenses this summer, even ickle baby James. The Marauders ride again!"

"Fantastic! You're all coming to my party then?" James said.

"Of course they are!" said Sirius imperiously. "And I'll take us to the Pleasure Dome in Soho - you've never been there, right? The girls love me there."

Peter laughed, "I hear the girls there love everybody."

"If you have enough money in your pocket! Hell, James, we might even get Remus and Peter laid."

Peter blushed to the roots of his hair, James snickered, and Remus's eyes narrowed as he picked up a pillow from his bed and took careful aim. "Shut up, Sirius!" he laughed, launching it at his tormentor's face with deadly accuracy. The three of them playfully ganged up on Sirius, flinging pillows at him and laughing. Sirius threw the pillows back at them and the boys had a merry war until eventually they all retreated downstairs with their trunks.

***

Sirius loved the Potters' house. It was not a secure facility like the townhouse - his prison. If only his father knew what a 'torment' this summer away would be! If this was punishment he'd have to bring embarrassment to the family more often! The Potters' home was open and inviting with its big windows and colorful flowerboxes, its right wide patio, and its welcoming open doors. Sunshine was everywhere around him. No fences, no wards, nothing to keep him in, or anyone out. It made him feel rather exposed. Wild. Just looking at it made him feel giddy with excitement. As the car drove up the lane, he stuck his head out the window to look over the pond and the apple trees, and the rolling fields beyond. Just perfect!

"Sirius, up for a swim?" James asked as Mr. Potter charmed their trunks up to James' room. It was dreadfully hot and still.

"Your mother should be home soon, James. I'll call when she arrives," Mr Potter said.

"Right, Dad. Come on, Sirius. I'll race you!"

Sirius and James ran toward the deep wide pond which separated the Potters from their nearest neighbors, stripping off their clothes as they ran. James kicked off his shoes and dove into the water. Sirius stopped at the edge of the pond to pull off his boots then dove in to join him. The water was blissfully cool after the hot ride from London. He floated on his back for a moment and willed the peace of the moment to seep into his soul. Then a wave of water came across his face and he found his feet, sputtering. Sirius started splashing in retaliation. James dove under the water and pulled his ankles, dunking him. Sirius coughed as he broke the surface of the water to hear James' laughter. He shoved James' head under the water. James came to the surface, sneezing and coughing. "You'll be the death of me, Black!"

"Don't dish it out if you can't take it, Potter!"

"Boys! Come in to dinner!" called a voice from far away.

"Come on - Mum's back. Nothing annoys my dad more than people who are late to dinner," James said, pulling on his clothes with difficulty as they clung to his still-wet body.

Sirius swam slowly to the edge of the pond. Mr. Potter Apparated to the pond with a loud pop. "Boys, come along - dinner's on the table," he said, tapping his foot impatiently.

Sirius climbed out of the water and gathered his scattered clothes, taking care not to let the rivulets of water running down his chest soak them. He shook himself off like a dog, getting James and his father wet. "Sorry, sir!" Sirius said, more ashamed that he'd soaked his host than from his nakedness. He pulled on his clothes quickly, looking somewhat abashed.

Mr. Potter gave him a begrudging half smile. "I thought I'd have to try harder to make your every waking moment miserable, Sirius. This should be easier than I thought. Buck up, young man - no harm done. It's too hot a day to stay mad. Come on - I'm famished. And unless I misremember my youth, you two must be hungry, too."

They walked back to the house together and sat down to dinner in the kitchen. Sirius quickly forgot his discomfort as Mrs. Potter let them all know about all the family gossip, and the plans she had made for James' birthday. The boys feigned interest in all the plans, except the cake. James vetoed the chocolate cake, which sent Sirius into a fit.

"James, it's hardly a birthday without chocolate cake! How ungrateful can you be to upset your mother's plans like this! Think of your mother! Think of your guests!"

"My guests are far too polite to complain about the cake," James replied with a raised eyebrow. "At least most of them are."

"Think of little Cousin Emily! How can you expect that poor little girl to put up with Victoria Sponge on top of being sorted into Hufflepuff? You're cruel!" Sirius smiled winningly at James's mother. "Lovely dinner, Mrs. Potter. The best chicken salad I've ever eaten!" he said, getting up from the table and watching as James cleared it.

"Why thank you, Sirius! It's so nice to be appreciated!" Mrs. Potter said. "Your father and I will be doing some work in the parlor, James. Can you and Sirius entertain yourselves? That contraption of Sirius' is still in the shed, but remember those Muggles are still camping in the Monroes' field. Keep it on the ground. And no magic - I don't want a note from Mrs Hopkirk. If only it wasn't so hot - the Muggle repelling charms can't seem to keep them out of the pond, and that gets them too close for you James, at least until next week."

"Absolutely, Mrs. Potter. I'll just help James with the dishes."

Mrs. Potter beamed at him and followed her husband out. James filled the dishpan with water and threw the dishtowel at Sirius's head. "I'll wash, you wipe."

"Wipe what?"

"The dishes. After they're clean, you dry them, with that."

"They don't dry by themselves?"

"Sirius, don't play games. You did this when the Muggles were here last summer. They're only here another week. Come on now. I haven't forgotten. Neither did you."

"Another week of this nonsense! Stupid Underage Magic law!" Sirius fumed, grabbing a cup and drying it sloppily. "What's the point of being a wizard if you have to wash dishes?"

"Poor dear Sirius!" James pouted sarcastically, "Such a blow to your wizard ego! Shall I kiss it and make it better?"

"You can kiss my wizard ..." Sirius retorted under his breath.

James snorted, "What would your daddy think? I know. Muggles within a country mile - there goes the neighborhood. He might come running back to rescue you."

"No - he'd snigger with delight at my misfortune."

"It could be worse - you could be stuck talking to little Em! She does have quite a liking for you, Sirius. Maybe you can soothe her broken heart when she sees my Victoria Sponge. Take her for a ride on your moped."

"Excuse me? I'll not have you insult my one true love like that! My Triumph - the sexiest bird on the planet - all gloss and fire and...'a moped'? How dare you!"

"Careful - you say 'sexy' and 'Emily' in the same breath and you'll give my mum the wrong idea."

"A Hufflepuff? Good..." Sirius eyed the door and lowered his voice, "Good Lord! What are you thinking? My parents catch me with a Hufflepuff and they'll disown me."

"Your parents already disowned you. One more screw up like spring and you'll never be welcome home again."

"I don't care-I'm never going back there anyway! Everything I love isre. God, James, do you realize how fantastic this place is? No mother screaming at you about b the family name. No 'that's just not done' and 'we don't know his people' - talk to whomever you want, whenever you want..."

"Just so long as they're not Hufflepuffs."

"Or Slytherins!" Sirius said, throwing the towel at James's head. James caught it deftly with Quidditch reflexes and snapped it back at Sirius, before rinsing the suds off his own forearms. Then he went to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of butterbeer, passing one to Sirius.

They walked out to the shady garden swing. James sat down and threw his head back, holding the cool bottle against his sweaty neck. It was almost too hot to breae. Sirius felt impossibly warm as he flopped down next to James and looked longingly out at the copse of trees that screened the cool pond from view. He needed a cold soak more than words could express - his clothes were strangling him. He sighed and asked, "When can you get your Apparition license?"

"Next week - right before the party," James said, uncapping his bottle and taking a long slow drink. Sirius watched him swallow greedily and realized his own mouth was so parched he couldn't speak. His hands were slick with sweat and he unscrewed his butterbeer with difficulty. James continued, "I thought I'd ask Peter and Remus to come and stay the weekend. Then we can all go to London to watch me splinch myself!" James said with a self-deprecating grin.

"You'll do fine," reassured Sirius, squeezing his shoulder. "You'll get your license and then we'll all go to the Pleasure Dome to celebrate!"

"I can't skip the party - Mum has it all planned."

"We won't skip it - we'll just convince your parents to let them stay over, too, and go to London afterwards. Quietly, of course. We'll be there and back before breakfast. Nothing for them to worry about."

"You never stop scheming, do you?"

"Never started, old boy. Come on - let's go tell your Mum and Dad you need to have your friends over for the orgy - I mean party!"

***

It was the longest birthday party any of the boys had ever attended, and not just because the Marauders had spent the entire day together. They had gathered at the Ministry that morning to give James some moral support for his test. James looked like a grouse on the Glorious Twelfth when he arrived, his nervousness increasing by the minute until sweat marked a T on the back of his shirt as he waited miserably for the exam. Sirius had massaged his shoulders like a prizefighter, and Peter and Remus had teased him mercilessly to keep him sane. He'd managed to get through the morning without splinching himself, and although he had come frighteningly close to landing on top of the Muggle in the final test, he'd managed to miss her in the end.

The license now in James' hands, Sirius thought the excitement of the day was over, but to look at James you'd have thought he was about to be kissed by a Dementor, not a bunch of pretty girls! The other boys looked just as nervous. He shrugged it off as fear of being caught. Honestly! Where was their sense of adventure? Sirius effortlessly socialized with the adults at the birthday party, smoothly making his rounds as he'd been taught from the time he was allowed to attend parties. Social expectations for him were high, as a Black, and he had very little trouble meeting them.

Eventually, he noticed that his friends were no longer in the friendly crowd outside, and he spotted them clustered together in the shed where he kept his bike. He excused himself from talking to the Potters' neighbors and strode confidently off to join them. "Oh, look! Sirius, Prince of Blacks, deigned to honor us with his presence! Should we bow?" James sneered from his perch on the bike as Sirius approached the three other boys.

"What's got its claws in you, James? Nervous?" he teased back. He wasn't sure what had gotten into his friend, but he was sure he didn't like it. He stood close to James until he took the hint and gave Sirius his seat. Sirius revved the engine loudly, then turned it back off.

"No, I just wonder where my friends are when we're supposed to be sneaking off together. I didn't realize your devious plan was to become the guest of honor in my absence."

"Will you two keep it down? You'll get the Potters suspicious!" Peter whispered frantically.

Remus piped up, "They already are suspicious, Peter. James is sulking and Sirius is making a spectacle of himself. Sirius, what is the matter with you? We'll never get out of here at the rate you're moving! The whole party is revolving around you - they're practically waiting in line to talk to you! How do you expect to sneak away unnoticed at this rate?"

"So send me to Azkaban for being polite! Look, men, I have it under control. Don't worry! Nothing worth going to London for before ten, honestly! Stay calm. Enjoy the party. And don't eat anything too exciting - you might end up seeing it again before the night is out!"

"Padfoot, are you sure?" Peter asked, a bit less nervously.

"Wormtail, would I lie to you? I mean about something important? I solemnly swear, tonight we'll be up to no good!"

"Shut up, you two - my Dad's coming over!" whispered James frantically.

"James, your Aunt and Emily are heading home - come and say goodbye," Mr Potter said sternly.

"Right, Dad, sorry! Come on lads - time to be social!" said James in a falsely hearty tone.

***

All the guests had finally gone home, the boys had cleaned up, and the house was quiet. They lay in their beds, fully clothed, watching the minute hand as it moved, ever so slowly, past the twelve, the one, the two, the three. When it was finally ten-thirty, Sirius sat up. "Come on, Marauders - let's get ready! Remus and James, set a silencing charm on the wardrobe. Peter, help me put a charm in the cots," Sirius commanded.

Peter set some very good charms, even getting Remus' mirage to snore softly. Sirius stuffed the beds with images of him and James, but he had to admit they wouldn't stand up to close inspection. James' neck was more corded; his hair never lay that flat. No matter - they'd never be discovered. The Potters were exhausted and they'd make a quiet escape.

"Meet you in front of the Ministry, James!" said Sirius as he stepped into the wardrobe. They closed the door and hardly heard a sound as he Apparated away. James followed next, and then Peter and Remus popped into existence next to him on the pavement.

"Now what?" Remus said, looking around.

"Around the corner, men! To source of all mirth and merriment! The club that put the 'mmmm' in Magic! The place where a wizard's dreams come true - the Pleasure Dome!" Sirius said, grabbing James by the wrist and pulling him down an empty, forbidding alley to a dark gate. Sirius waved his wand and it opened onto to a crowded pavement leading up to a brick and glass building. Music and golden light spilled out the door when it opened to admit the young witches and wizards who stood behind a velvet rope waiting to get in. Sirius sauntered up to the front of the line and gave the doorwitch a winning smile. "Lovely evening, Althea!" he said, grabbing her hands and kissing both her cheeks.

"Sirius Black, you charmer! Where have you been? It's been months!" the wildly attired witch said with a smile.

"Busy as a bloody bee with deadly dull nonsense, darling. Althea, my friends and I are celebrating tonight. Do you think you could, well, speed things up a bit for us?"

"The only thing that could get you in faster tonight would be a Mors Mordre going up over the square, sweetie."

"Althea, love, I'm sure I have family in there waiting for me. And my friends."

"But I do so love to visit with you out here, dear boy!"

He slipped her a few galleons and gave her another kiss, "And I'd love to spend the night with you, too, but my friends have never been here before, and I promised!"

"A promise is a promise," she said, unhooking the velvet rope. "Welcome to the Pleasure Dome, gentlemen!" she said, pocketing the money with a grin.

They stepped into the club together, their eyes wide at the sparking fairy lights, the beautiful gyrating witches and wizards in various states of undress on the dance floor, and the featured dancers floating on shining translucent platforms above the crowd. Around the walls wizards and witches sat in dark booths, drinking glowing potions and enjoying themselves, and each other. Slack-jawed, the boys stood and stared until they were jostled from behind and moved to find a table. Sirius found some distant relatives (whom he hadn't seen since his mother found out they had attended his cousin Andromeda's wedding) and greeted them warmly, sitting everyone sat down with them. After exchanging pleasantries, the boys accepted the pretty barmaid's invitation to take a "round-the-world potions sampler" tour. After taking a sip of a mild-looking clear brew, James coughed and couldn't find his voice for a few minutes as the room lurched hard to the right. He gripped the table and stood up suddenly, bumping into a beautiful, very well endowed witch in a slinky blue robe.

"Oh, please excuse me, miss!" he stammered. She gave him a shy smile.

"What's the matter, James? Going to ask someone for a dance?" Peter suggested slyly. Remus rolled his eyes, but James gamely extended his hand and escorted the timid older girl onto the dance floor.

"What the hell was in that potion?" Sirius asked. "What's happened to our ickle baby James?"

"And where can I get some?" Peter asked Remus, who was sniffing the potion carefully. "Smells like bloodwort and burnet, and a generous dose of alcohol," Remus said. "He's still standing, isn't he?" he asked, looking into the crowd.

"Either that or having a seizure, I'd say," observed Peter. "Give me a sip - I want to dance, too."

"Did I hear someone say he wants to dance?" the barmaid said as she squeezed through the crowd. "We've dozens of drinks for that! Some so good you don't even have to leave your chair!"

"Bring them over, sweetheart! The night is young and so are we!" Peter said, sitting down suddenly as he sipped a blue potion, nearly missing the chair. The rainbow of bottles on the bar seems much less intimidating now.

"Peter, let me vet them for you, okay? You've never drunk anything stronger than butterbeer," Remus suggested.

Sirius walked over to the bar where a witch was casting cheering charms on her friends with gay abandon. "Hello, there. Who might this little angel be?" he said, stroking a cat perched on the barstool. The cat tried to climb up into his arms.

"Oh, you must be a sweetheart for my baby to love you so! Almost pureblood kneazle, and very discriminating - my pussy doesn't like just anybody."

Sirius winced at the word 'pureblood', and banished the thought of his parents away forcefully. "I must be a Somebody, then," Sirius bantered back with a devilish smile, casting a glance back at the table where Peter and Remus now sat alone. "Who might you be?" he said seductively in her ear. She smiled as he picked up her cat in both hands and lead the witch back to their table.

She grinned and followed. "Cat-napper!" she laughed and sat down with the boys, waving another witch over to sit, too.

From there the boys sampled all the debauchery the club had to offer. There was a lot, from slightly obscene charms to conjure half-dressed dreamling dance partners to powerful potions, but they were young and strong and curious and very, very enthusiastic! They danced to the throbbing beat, and drank, and laughed, and drank, and made new friends, and drank, and drank, and drank...

Around two in the morning, Peter and Remus had completed their "round-the-world potions tour" and Remus' head started to droop in spite of the throbbing music. "Remus!" Sirius shouted over the music, "Are you all right?" Remus didn't lift his head. "Peter! Is Remus all right?"

"Sure! Fine! Never better!" Peter smiled back, his rheumy eyes practically spinning.

"James? Where the hell is James?" Sirius asked, hardly trusting his legs to support him as he stood. Then he saw the boots sticking out from under the table. "Oh, no. James, that's disgusting! Get off the floor!"

"I'm trying!" James replied, banging his head on the table as he crawled back up. "That's going to hurt tomorrow!" he giggled.

Sirius shook his head and stroked James' hair gently, checking for blood. "Marauders, we - I think I speak for all of us - are pissed. Time to go home."

"Oh, come on Sirius! The night just started!" Peter whined.

"Mrs. Potter will be waking us up for breakfast soon. Come on - gotta get back before they throw me out, too."

"Right - right. Righto. Where are my feet?" Remus said, shaking his head to clear it. "'Helas, j'ai transfigure mes pieds!' - That's Malecrit, you know. High culture. Like this place!"

They shuffled back out the doors together, leaning on each other's shoulders and singing out of tune. Stopping at the corner, Peter said, "I've never seen so many beauties in one place before, Sirius! Where do they find them all?"

"Not at Hogwarts!" James laughed. "Sirius, who did you like best?"

"No doubt -Nancy's my favorite."

James frowned with surprise. "That girl who works for the WWN?"

Sirius gave a low chuckle, "Yah - no doubt. She had the sweetest little pussy..."

"Good Lord!" Remus sputtered, "You only talked with her an hour. When did you have the time?"

Sirius sputtered, "I was taking about her cat! What do you think I am?"

"That's disgusting - you did her cat?" said James, his voice barely suppressing his amusement.

"Oh shut up, James!" Sirius said, playfully covering James' mouth with his hand and wrestling him into a head-lock.

"You like them sweet, huh? I always thought he'd enjoy the bitch-goddesses more!" Peter gurgled.

"Will you shut up, you rat-bastard!" Sirius said, grinning. "Uh oh, Peter, watch it!" There was a harsh cough from Remus and Peter jumped back as butterbeer and Victoria Sponge splashed onto the pavement where he had been standing a moment before. "Remus, I don't think you're in any shape to Apparate."

"No, I'm fine. I feel much better now, thanks," Remus said, straightening up and wiping his handkerchief across his face with exaggerated care.

Peter looked up at him and shook his head. "Gentlemen, as the most sober member of the group I speak... I think I must....I speak for us all and say - oh dear. Excuse me." There was another gagging sound and Peter bent over the gutter for a moment. "Remus, let me walk you home. I'm feeling a little green myself."

"No really, I'm fine."

"You're both pissed. Call the Knight Bus." James got his wand out and almost lit it.

"God no! If anything will make," Peter paused to burp, "me lose my butterbeer it's that contraption."

James was getting annoyed. "All right then - you two live in London. Where the hell are we?"

Peter piped up, "I have no idea. I've never been here before in my life. This is Sirius' part of town. See that tower? I remember seeing it. Let's go that way."

They walked for an hour, singing and joking. "Pettigrew Street - that must be where Peter lives," Sirius said in James' ear. "Come on men!"

As they turned the corner, Sirius yelled, "Peter, what's your house number?"

"Seventy," said a sleepy voice behind him.

"Right - stop. Stop. We're here." Sirius said confidently. He led them to the door and rang the bell. The rest of them followed him to the door and a sleepy older woman in curlers opened it, looking none too pleased.

"You'd better have a funnier story than Benny Hill, boys. What do you want?" she said with a scowl.

"I'm sorry to wake you so late ma'am, but Peter seems to have lost his key. He was going to invite us in for a cup before we went home. May I say you do look ravishing in that robe, Mrs. Pettigrew. The color suits you. May I call you Irene?" said Sirius smoothly.

"No, you most certainly may not."

"Sirius, that's not my mum," Peter said urgently. Remus put his head against the doorframe and started to fall asleep.

"Good night, Irene, good night, Irene, I'll see you in my dreams," James sang to himself as Remus' head started to nod.

Sirius tried to cover for them, "Your sister! What kind of friend are you - keeping this lovely girl secret from me? Gracious, please forgive my rudeness Miss Pettigrew. Peter never told us about his ravishing sister," he said with a rakish grin.

"Psst. Sirius. Sirius!" Peter said, shaking his arm. "This isn't my house, Sirius."

Without missing a beat, Sirius said, "Of course it isn't. Madame, may I thank you again for you hospitality and commend you on your impeccable home. Its loveliness is only surpassed by your sweet face," he said, pulling a rose out of his sleeve and handing is to the sleepy woman.

She cracked half a smile. "Goodnight indeed. Get yourselves home, you ruffians!"

"Marauders, dear lady, marauders. A thousand pardons for disturbing your evening!" The door shut in his face and the whole group erupted in laughter as they stumbled down the street, arm in arm.

***

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, Marauders! The time has come!" Sirius said, stumbling to a stop on the corner. "We need to hatch a devious plot."

"Devious?" said James with a raised eyebrow, running one hand through his hair.

"We've got to get back before James' parents figure out we're gone, and figure out a way to sober you two up."

"You and James have to get back - Remus and I said we'd go home tomorrow. It's been tomorrow for three hours. We're going home." Peter lit his wand and called the Knight Bus.

"Not worried about losing your butterbeer, Peter?" Sirius teased.

"Lost it half a mile ago, Padfoot, along with everything else I tried tonight. I've got nothing left to lose!" Peter chortled as the great hulking vehicle came careening down the street.

James turned around from where he had been whispering to Sirius and said, "Safe journey, men," and waved.

"You're not coming?" Remus said.

"No," Sirius replied, "going to stop at my house first. See if the elf is keeping his fingers ironed."

"We'll come!" said Peter gamely.

"No, you two are asleep on your feet. Get going. See you later! Excellent evening!"

"Happy birthday, James!" Remus and Peter said as they boarded the bus. Sirius and James serenaded them as the huge purple bus drove away. "Far, far AWAAAY!" and started walking to Grimmauld Place, arm in arm, singing out of tune.

"Sirius, mate," James said, stumbling slightly and putting his hands on Sirius's chest to stop him before they crossed the street. "What are we doing? Why do you need to go home?"

Sirius caught him as James stumbled against his chest and slipped an arm under his shoulder to steady him. "Shh," Sirius whispered in his ear, "It's a secret. We're getting your birthday present."

"Thank God! Your pretty Nancy gave me a kiss, but from my best friend, nothing. I was beginning to worry, you cheap bastard," James said, regaining his balance.

"Nancy was confused - she just thought you were me. In the right light you're quite handsome. Almost as sexy as I am."

"Not every girl swoons at your name."

"They ought to," Sirius said, trying the door. It was locked. "What the devil? Kreacher, open the damned door!"

James patted his arm gently, "Here, let me try," he said, touching the door handle.

Suddenly the snake shaped knocker became a house elf's bulbous head. "Good evening, young master, young master's naughty drunken friend."

"Open the God-damned door you worthless lump!"

"A thousand pardons, young master, but Master told Kreacher not to let the naughty young master in."

"My stuff is in there!"

"Poor young master, has to live with the Potters, who don't know their place - an embarrassment to the Noble House. Cost his father a pretty penny to keep him in school, made his father crawl to the Hogwarts Governors. Tsk tsk tsk. Such a torment to his family, after all they've done for him! Master had to bribe the Potters to take Mistress's worthless and weak son away."

"I'll get you something when I get home, Kreacher. Maybe I'll get Mother to knit you a sweater! Come on James. Let's go home."

"Poor ungrateful young master. Kreacher ought to stuff his own head in the toilet. Fffttt." The House Elf's head disappeared and the silver snakes in the knocker started to hiss at them as they walked down the steps.

James stood quietly next to Sirius when he stopped on the corner and looked back at the townhouse. Sirius's whole body was shaking with fury. He looked at James grimly and said, "You sober enough to Apparate?"

"Sober as a judge. Come on - meet you at the pond."

"Not the wardrobe?"

"Not yet - I'm...just follow me."

James and Sirius Apparated to the Potters'.

"Look at that crescent moon, Sirius! Let's run - I'm not ready for sleep."

"Neither am I, Prongs," he said, taking a deep breath to calm his fury. "A run would be magic." Sirius cleared his mind and changed into a dog, then raced across the moonlit field. Smells seemed sharper, shadows less threatening. Padfoot sniffed the air and ran toward the most exciting aroma, changing his mind a dozen times from squirrel to cat to car as he ran.

Prongs leapt after him and chased him over the hill until they came to a motorway. Padfoot ran across it and turned around, looking for his friend. Something didn't smell right. Prongs stood in the middle of the road, staring at the blue flashing lights coming over the hill, the white headlights of the fire engine. Flashing blue like James' eyes when he was victorious, catching a snitch, or angry, fighting with that redhead. Padfoot thought he recognized the mysterious smell now - danger, and excitement.

Padfoot barked furiously, but Prongs stood motionless, ignoring him, entranced by the fire engine streaking dirctly toward him, heedless of the danger. New smells assaulted his nose - fear, diesel fuel, Muggles. "Come on! Come with me!" Padfoot thought frantically. He barked and barked but the stag still ignored him. Padfoot raced into the road and threw himself at the stag's body.

The shock of his impact snapped the stag out of the trance and Prongs jumped into the bushes. There was a loud squealing of brakes and Sirius yelped as his back leg bounced off the speeding fire engine and he too rolled into the bushes.

"Sirius! Sirius! Are you alright! Talk to me, you bastard! Say something!" James yelled, shaking him by the shoulders.

"Talk about deer in the headlights - what the devil was wrong with you! Are you blind?" Sirius said crossly.

"You scared the hell out of me! I thought you were hit!"

"I was hit, idiot! Thanks for noticing! What were you doing, just standing there? You could have been killed! Didn't you hear me?"

"I don't know. Why the hell did you come back for me? You nearly were killed!"

They were both breathing very hard, sickened by the sudden surge of adrenalin and still a little dizzy from the exertion and the alcohol. "Good Lord - I thought you were road- kill. Don't you ever do that to me again!" Sirius said, his pulse racing. He ripped open his collar in an effort to catch his breath.

James stared at the pulse in his neck, as if to convince himself Sirius was still alive, then shook his head to clear it. "Come on - let's go home."

"I don't know if I can Apparate now. There's something wrong with my foot."

"Hold onto me - put your arms around my neck. I'll help you. We'll manage together. Clear your mind. No pain, just think about home," James said, slipping his arm under his friend's shoulders and lifting him up off the ground into a sitting position. The next minute they popped into James' closet. James cleared away the mirages and the cots. Sirius limped to his trunk and paused. He'd nearly lost his best friend. And it would have been his fault. His best friend. Dearer than a brother. Splattered on the road. A fine Happy Birthday that would have been. And he didn't even give James a birthday present. He flipped open the lid of his trunk and pulled out a brown paper package. He looked it over for a while, listening to water running and the clock ticking. Finally James came back in the room and crawled under the covers.

"James! Happy Birthday!" Sirius said, lofting the package at his bed.

It hit James square in the stomach with a woof. "Gee, thanks, mate!" he said, unwrapping it. His voice was incredulous as he said, "This looks just like my dad's...Sirius. I - I can't accept it. It's too much!"

"No, it isn't. It's just a stupid hand-me-down cloak. If you don't take it I'm giving it to Kreacher. I had something even nicer at home, but you'll have to wait for Christmas."

"Honestly Sirius, I can't. It's an Invisibility Cloak! Your parents..."

"You can," Sirius said defiantly, stripping off his clothes and crawling into bed. "That's mine - my grandfather gave it to me, not my parents. Now I'm giving it to you. And be careful with it - I don't expect our late night kitchen raids to stop just because you own it now."

"They won't. You know I'll always take care of you!"

"Like you did tonight? Christ, James, I can't take much more of that. What the hell happened? Why did you just stand there? Did you even see me waiting for you?" He pulled his pajamas out from under his pillow and threw them on the floor.

"One minute I was chasing you, and then I saw the lights. It was...I don't know how to explain it. Magical, almost. Beautiful. I knew I should let it go, that I had to go, but I just couldn't stop looking, danger be damned. I wanted to have it. To touch it. To be a part of it...I couldn't let it go by me."

"You scared the hell out of me. I've never been that scared. Shit...What the hell would I have done if you didn't move? I can't lose you. What would your dad think? 'Sorry Mr. Potter, but James and I were just playing in traffic and...'"

"You enjoy playing in traffic. That's why you love staying here - isn't it? A bigger risk. A bigger thrill. A chance to shock your family more." James was breathing fast.

"Did my father say that?"

"They didn't bribe us, Sirius. I want you here."

"Yes, they did. Or Dad thinks he did. That Head Boy deal must have been a nuisance. More than just saving my Black reputation is worth. So in the Great Ledger of Favors, the Potters owe the Blacks. I'm surprised - usually Dad likes to keep things like that in his back pocket. But I guess he needed a Sirius-free summer. So you got saddled with me."

"It's not like that. We want you here. I want you here."

"I know...I know. I want to be here, too. There's nowhere in the world I love more. Honestly. Thanks, James."

"You saved my life, mate. I owe you."

"I'd die for you, James. You know that. We're friends - we're square."

"Of course we are. Good night, mate."

***

Sirius woke up in darkness, he thought. He was floating in the semi-conscious haze so difficult to distinguish from dreams. As usual, he woke with a pleasant fantasy. A smile quirked his mouth as long-fingered hands stroked him, a warm tongue laved him, in, oh yes, all the right places. It felt perfect. He didn't want to wake up. Ever. Ever, ever, ever. He moaned appreciatively as he felt a mouth ...oh yes. He enjoyed the dream for a long while, until a crow outside the window broke his concentration and he floated back to Earth on a lazy haze. The sun started to peak through the window, and he opened his eyes a bit and looked towards James' bed. It was empty.

He felt the bed shift but he couldn't see anything but rumpled sheets at the foot of the bed. He didn't really want to see anything. He rolled onto his stomach and looked away at the nightstand, studying the grain of the wood. He was really hungry. He should get the Invisibility Cloak and get a snack. But this wasn't school. And he gave the cloak to James. Shit. He needed to see if James was in bed. Maybe it was a dream. Slowly, slowly he turned his head into the pillow, trying to feign the movements of sleep. He moved too slowly and the pillow started to smother him. Stupid! He gave up the pretense and punched the pillow. He sat up in bed, looking around for James. His bed was still empty. Shit. He put on his pajamas and slippers and padded downstairs, ankle throbbing. He grabbed a peach from the bowl on the kitchen table and walked out to the garden. Juice dripped down his wrist and he licked it off as he limped to the pond.

Mist rising from the water was so thick that he didn't see James until he was almost on top of him. Sirius didn't know if he wanted to see James. Not now. Not yet. Bloody hell! Maybe he didn't mean it. Maybe he was just drunk. Maybe he dreamed it. It was like a dream. Those hands, the feel of his skin, gentle and firm, just like his own. Calloused from hours playing Quidditch. It was not dream. He never dreamed of calluses. Never before, anyway. It was no dream.

He took a breath and ran a hand through his hair. Bloody hell! Did James plan this? Was this some sort of blackmail to get his dad off the Potters' back? Expose what Sirius had hidden from everyone? No, James' family didn't act like that. Only his did. Only his could twist him and James into something sordid. Bloody hell. Shit. Near the pond, James pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his arms. Every line of his body spoke of ...pain. His best friend was in pain. Sirius didn't know what to do. He transformed into a dog and trotted over to James on three legs.

The dog emerged from the trees and stuck his nose under James' arm, forcing his head up. Padfoot lapped his face, tasted tears.

"Knock it off, idiot!" James said, patting the dog affectionately. Padfoot sat down and put his head on his lap. James patted his back. Padfoot lay there and accepted it, delighting when James scratched him behind the ears. He felt James relax. "Sorry, mate. I thought ... I'm really sorry," James sighed.

Padfoot sat up and transformed back. "Forget it," said Sirius.

"That's the problem - I don't want to."

"Oh." He should have stayed a dog. Everything was so much simpler as a dog.

"Do you?" prodded James.

"No," Sirius whispered. They sat silent for a while, pitching pebbles into the pond. After a long time Sirius said, "I thought you wanted Evans."

"I did. I do."

"Why?"

"Her ... Same reasons I want you. I just do."

"James, you can't..."

"Why can't I?"

The world seemed to spin very fast when he was not the center of it. Sirius felt dizzy and shook his head, "James, I....you can't...If this gets out... My family wouldn't understand."

James looked at him angrily. "You hate your family. What do you care what they think of me?"

"I - James, they won't understand. My Uncle, Uncle Alphard - God, I can't believe how hard it is to say his name! He was driven out of town when he... with his - they disowned him. We can't mention him anymore, ever. It's like he doesn't exist. Hell, Andromeda married a Mudblood and we still let her come to funerals. Not him. He's...dead, as far as my family is concerned. If I tell my parents I'm, that you and I..."

"Are you?" James challenged. "Are we?"

James knew the answer. He wasn't being fair. "Can't really deny it now, can I?" said Sirius.

"It sounds like you're trying pretty hard," said James bitterly.

"Damn it!" Sirius said, at a loss for words. What else could he say? Hadn't he said enough? Dark clouds floated overhead, blocking the sun. A cool wind started to blow.

James showed him no mercy. "You hate them. You always have. You've always wanted to be free. Take the chance. Stay with me. My parents would understand."

"You know this?" Sirius said bitterly.

"Stay with us. Be a part of our family. Hell, everyone says we're practically brothers. No one will mind. My mum adores you."

"James, once this is out, there's no going back." No safety net. Sirius didn't have a choice, but James did. He always would.

"You really want to go back?" James said as the sky opened up and heavy rain began to pound them both.

Sirius struggled to his feet painfully. "It's raining. We'd better get back."

"It's been a long night," said James sadly, "lean on me." He put his arm under his shoulder to help Sirius limp back to the house.

Squeezing his shoulder, Sirius said, "It's barely six - we've still hours to sleep. Let's get back to bed."

They climbed the stairs back to James' room quietly, and drew the curtains against the dim light. In the darkness Sirius could hear the whisper of cloth against skin as James stripped off his damp pajamas and crawled into bed. He realized his own were cold and uncomfortable, too. Yet he was unaccountably shy. Ridiculous. Stupid. He never slept in pajamas. Certainly not damp ones. He also stripped and climbed back into bed. He was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. Not as a man. Maybe? No - dog hair in bed would be hard to...oh, hell, he could clean it up himself. He stretched out his senses and transformed again. Everything was so much easier as a dog. He padded over to James, hopping up on the bed to sleep at his feet.

"Sirius, this isn't good enough."

At last he could talk - this was negotiation. Whatever else confused him, he knew how to negotiate. He transformed into a man again. "Neither is what you're offering me. I don't want to be your other love. I was your best friend. Almost a brother..."

"Better than a brother."

"And now? I can't do this halfway, James. I don't want any less from you. If you really want me, it's all or nothing."

"This is all!" whispered James exasperatedly. "I can't say I don't want anyone else - but I don't want anyone more. Damn it - didn't you tell me that if I wanted something I should take it? Isn't that your way? I want you. You. I thought you wanted me. You keep acting like you do, but you've never done what you wanted to do your whole life, have you? It's all an act - this freedom talk! It's just talk! Freedom - you don't like it. It scares you breathless."

"Like you're scared of Evans?"

"More."

"Why do you like the Head Girl anyway? It's not like she likes you back," Sirius said, bravely trying to fight his jealousy.

"Not yet - I'll change her mind. Like I'll change yours. She's a lot like you, only with longer hair. I like long hair."

James's confidence unnerved him, and Sirius snapped, "I won't be settled for, James! I won't be a stand-in! You're too important to me. You say you know what you want. I say, prove it!"

"You're jealous."

"Of what? Her?" Sirius snorted.

"Of people who know what they want. Who can just call and have it come to them. You think Prince Black should have that power. You could, if you knew what you wanted."

"I do." So do you! Why can't you just...?

"But you don't know how to get it."

"Sure I do. I'm a Black. I see what I like, wave my wand and Accio! it. Let the consequences sort themselves out."

"You say it, but you can't do it."

"Sure I can."

"You can't let yourself. You can't Accio! freedom.

"Sure I can-I had everything I ever wanted last night...the Pleasure Dome, the Marauders... " Sirius said. It was all so meaningless compared to what he needed. Sirius prayed he hadn't lost the one person he truly needed by reaching for the only person he wanted. Want was so weak, so changeable, so shallow.

James retorted angrily, "You still don't get it! Haven't you ever wanted more? Something you'd risk everything for? Something you'd die for?"

"Like?" Sirius said, eyes averted. Everything. James didn't know - couldn't know. Sirius subconsciously rubbed his ankle, trying to hide the hurt he knew James would see in his eyes. He shouldn't have worried - James was no less blind than he'd been last night. Nothing had changed. Not for James. He had only dreamed it had for him. Sirius could barely breathe.

"Accio Sirius Black," James whispered, holding out his empty hand.

Sirius waited to be pulled across the bed, and realized that nothing was happening. His worst fear realized, he started to shiver, a horrible tingling ache spreading across his chest. A bead of sweat ran down his hairline, in front of his ear, down his neck. He raised his sad eyes to James's face, searching for reassurance in his eyes. Sirius slowly reached out to grasp his friend's hand firmly.

"You don't really want me, or I would have come whether I wanted to or not."

"I won't make you. You're here on your own. I wanted you to want to come. You wanted to come. That's magic." James squeezed his hand, "There's more magic in this than all of Diagon Alley."

"James..." Sirius said before he felt James pull his unresisting body into his arms. The there in the bed, listening to the rain on the window, the low rumble of thunder in the distance, holding each other tightly. James ran one hand slowly up and down his back, holding Sirius firmly with the other. Then James gently pushed the other boy's shoulder away, into the mattress. With a trembling hand he traced along Sirius' hairline from his forehead to his ear, circled the delicate folds. Sirius brought his own hand up and touched the delicate skin of James' ear. James closed his eyes as a rapturous look broke across his face, then he opened them and captured Sirius' hand in his own, palm to palm, fingers interlaced, and pinned it next to his head. Sirius closed his own eyes. He could feel James' breath on his face, on his lips. Sirius shivered when he opened his eyes and saw the naked hunger on James' face as roving fingers slid slowly, almost reverently, down his arm, across his inner arm, back to his shoulder. Both their hearts were beating wildly as James' hand moved down his chest again, and his fingertips began to trace slow circles on Sirius' hip. Sirius started shaking even harder, his breath coming in uneven gasps, and James gathered him close again.

"Shh. Sirius," James said in a low voice, stroking his short hair. "I won't let you go. I'll never let you go. I promise. I promise, mate," James said, cradling his head gently as he pressed a kiss against his shoulder, then his neck.

The tremors didn't let up, but Sirius was beyond contemplating whether it was from desire or fear or some other cause. He was just raw nerves and aching need. Eventually, as James caressed him, Sirius let his own hands wander, down James's back, lower. A body as familiar as his own; yet not his own. He explored and discovered, was discovered. He conquered. He surrendered. Eventually, exhausted in mind and body, replete, he slept.

***

"Boys! Breakfast!" Mrs. Potter called. Sirius felt cool air on his skin as James pulled away to dress.

"Coming, Mum!" he called downstairs. "Come on, mate! Breakfast!" he said, pulling on his robe over his pajamas.

"Right. Breakfast. I'm starving," Sirius said, pulling on his clothes, too. They ran downstairs for plates of eggs and bacon.

Mr. Potter was sitting at the table, a grim look on his face. Their eyes widened as they realized that they'd been caught. "Boys, I'm very disappointed in you both."

"Dad, I..."

"It's all my fault, Mr. Potter. I don't know what I was thinking, sir. James didn't..."

"Boys, when a guest comes into this house, I expect certain standards of behavior. I don't think it's asking too much."

"Of course not Mr. Potter. I.."

"Don't interrupt, Sirius. As I was saying, what happened this morning was entirely unacceptable." Sirius felt the blood rushing to his face. If James' father yelled, or even hit him, he'd understand more, but this calm dressing down was almost too much to bear. Mr. Potter continued in his cool voice, "When a guest comes into this house, I expect..."

"Oh, calm down, dear! Your breakfast is getting cold! If Peter and Remus had to be off early, I'm sure they just didn't want to wake us. It isn't the end of the world - they just left without saying goodbye."

"It's common courtesy, my dear."

"And I'm sure they'll apologize when they come over next time. For now, let the boys sit and eat before it gets cold. They look all peaky!"