This Bitter Pill

!THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SLIGHT LANGUAGE!


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I'd rather be dreaming than living

Living's just too hard to do

It's chances not choices, noises not voices

A day's just a thing to get through

Living's just too hard to do

I'd rather be dreaming than talking

There's nothing to hear or to say

With ears covered mouth closed the world is opposed

Nothing gets in or away

There's nothing to hear or to say

I'd rather be dreaming than thinking

Thoughts are small comfort to me

Dreams might be pretend but at least dreams end

And I just can't stop thinking you see

Thoughts are small comfort to me

I'd rather be dreaming than sleeping

Just sleeping you're just as well dead

In dreams I can fly, in dreams I don't die

That's why I lie here in this bed

Just sleeping you're just as well dead

I'd rather be dreaming...

Loudon Wainwright III, Dreaming

CRASH.

Remus jumped awake. A loud noise had come from the right side of his bed. As the fifteen year old rubbed the sleep from his eyes and tore the bedclothes off of his body, he listened for the sounds that would indicate the state of his dorm mates. He could have recognized Sirius' snoring from ten miles away, and James' constant turning and tossing was a dead give away. Only Peter slept soundly, and Remus was glad of it. Two noisy sleepers were enough; he wasn't sure if he could deal with another.

As the dreams receded from his mind, and left it a bit clearer, he remembered the events of the night before. Peter and James were in the hospital wing, and Sirius was either in the shower or already downstairs.

With a sigh and a shake of the head, Remus glanced at the clock (8:00 A.M.) and walked in the general direction of the bathroom.

Sirius, he noted, was already downstairs. More likely then not the boy was flirting with some random girl of another year. Either that, or doing something to Snape. Remus frowned; Sirius and James were very violent towards the greasy-haired Slytherin. Remus often worried about his friends; they seemed to get into so much trouble. Peter was struggling horridly with his studies, James was trying to get a certain redhead to go out with him, and Sirius was having family problems. Sometimes he wished he could take it all away and make it easier for all of them.

They do so much for you, a voice echoed in Remus' head. The least you could do is try to help them with their problems.

"What do you want me to do?" Remus spoke aloud, and jumped at the sound of his voice as it rang around the shower stall. His motion caused the shampoo bottles and hair products on the shower rack to fall onto the tile floor with a resounding BANG. He cursed under his breath and snatched them up in an angry swipe that caused his elbow to crash into the shower wall with a sickening crack. Remus let out a loud yelp and immediately felt the affected area. It was swollen, but most likely not broken. He'd still have to go to Pomfrey after breakfast, though. The idea of having to be treated once again by the school nurse enraged Remus, as he spent enough time in the Hospital Wing already, without having to deal with a bruised elbow bone.

Finishing up with washing himself, Remus stepped out of the shower and rubbed himself dry with the towel. Muttering angry words under his breath, he got dressed as quickly as possible with his inflamed arm and opened the door into the dorm room. Remus walked over to the laundry pile and noted with a grim nod that it was Peter's week to empty the hamper; which meant that he would have to do it again, as Peter would never remember. He sighed and threw his night clothes into the hamper and mentally cursed Lily Evans: if she hadn't meddled with the house-elves, gone to Dumbledore about their "equal rights" and ruined the relationship that the Gryffindor house had with the elves, the entire 5^th year wouldn't have to make their own beds and do their own laundry.

As Remus walked over to his bed to put on his socks and shoes, the dorm door slammed open and in stormed a very angry Sirius. Along with him came James, who was trying to talk to Sirius and looking extremely angry himself, and Peter, who was holding a tray of food, supposedly for Remus.

Remus jumped up from his bed and strode over to Sirius, who had stopped at the door and was arguing with James, using very vivid hand motions and quite the colorful vocabulary. Peter set the breakfast tray on James' nightstand and went to join Remus, Sirius, and James.

Straining to hear the words pouring out of Sirius' mouth, he caught a key sentence or two.

"I can't believe that Snape would even think of that as funny; it's not even mildly amusing; I should've blown his greasy head right off his bloody shoulders, the fucking bastard!" Sirius' face was a brilliant shade of red, and he only stopped ranting enough to get a sufficient supply of oxygen into his lungs.

What happened? Remus mouthed to Peter. Peter gave a sad frown, and mouthed Andromeda's dead back to Remus.

Remus' heart fell. Sirius had run away to James' house over the summer and refused to go home. The only people in his family that he still talked to were Andromeda, his cousin who married a Muggle-born Ted Tonks and was promptly disowned from the Black family, and his uncle Alphard, who helped him with buying his school supplies after the Blacks cut Sirius off from their funding. Andromeda was easily one of his favorite people in the world, and had recently given birth to a beautiful Metamorphmagus daughter, Nymphadora. Sirius had been infinitely proud of Andie, as he affectionately called her, for standing up to her family and setting a path for Sirius to follow.

Andie was a sister to Sirius, and a role model.

Remus could see that Sirius' tirade was coming to a stop. Instead of angry words and sharp eyes, long spaces between words and a distant expression filled his face. Remus, using his sensitive werewolf ears could hear a sob rising in his voice, making the words that managed to get out of Sirius' mouth thick with emotion. Finally, Sirius made to sit down on the nearest bed, which happened to be James'. Peter, Remus, and James all let out a little sigh and got ready to sit with Sirius and skip the day's classes to calm him down. Just as they arranged themselves on the bed, Sirius jumped up and started pacing.

"What am I supposed to do? I mean, Ted and Dora can't stay at the house now that Voldemort's made it obvious that the family's on his hit list. My family won't take them in, and Ted's parents died a while ago. They don't have anywhere to go. They don't have anywhere to hide. I can't help them, but I need to. GOD DAMNIT!" With the last sentence, Sirius slammed his fist into the stonewall, a sickening crack following the resounding thump as it echoed through the room. Liking the feel of pain, Sirius continued to drive his fist into the wall again and again, until his knuckles were so slick with crimson blood that they made a nauseating splashing sound as they connected with the wall. With a final thrust of his arm, Sirius slid into a heap on the floor. This, Remus noted, was his, Peter's, and James' cue. They quickly walked over to Sirius, picked up his sobbing form, and carried him over to his bed. They then covered him up with the bedclothes, and Remus and Peter tiptoed out of the room as James talked quietly to Sirius' howling figure.

Remus closed the door and turned to Peter, who was looking grave. "What happened?"

Peter gave a small and almost silent sigh. "Me and James had just gotten back from the Hospital Wing, and we saw Sirius holding his wand to Snape's throat and threatening him in all kinds of ways, and the teachers couldn't get through the huge crowd of kids surrounding them. Snape was laughing his bloody head off. I didn't even know the bastard knew how to laugh," Peter said with a grim smile. "Anyways, we dragged Sirius away from him and we saw McGonagall's tear-stained face, and she kept trying to hug Sirius. Narcissa and Bellatrix were over at their own damned table, not looking that upset, but Regulus was laughing with Snape and saying things like 'She knew she had it coming, that's what she gets for marrying a Mudblood', etc. Apparently Sirius, Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Regulus all got the same black letter from the Ministry, and when Snape read over Regulus' shoulder they both just started cracking up. Then Sirius went berserk, and stood up and started screaming, and we came in. James was trying to calm him down the entire time up here, and he just kept freaking out."

Remus felt his heart sink lower than ever. "Wow. I can't believe that they would laugh at something like that. And now we have to figure a way out of classes..."

Peter gave another small, cynical smile and shook his head. "No, classes are cancelled today. Andie wasn't the only one who was killed. Apparently there was a huge raid at some Ministry dance or meeting or sommat, and Death Eaters got the whole bunch of them."

Remus let out a small groan. "Ugh. They'll probably cancel tomorrow's classes, too. Which means I'll be really behind since the full moon's," Here Remus lowered his voice to a whisper. "-on Friday, and the teachers'll be going really fast to make up for the days we missed, and-"

Peter cut Remus off. "Just relax, okay? We'll get the work for you, and maybe we'll even join you." Peter grinned in a very wide fashion.

Remus started. "You're ready? I thought you had a few more days, and you should practice before you come-"

Again, Peter cut him off. "Just calm down. When Sirius visited us last night, he gave us a few books to read and created a diversion so we could practice. We're basically ready, and we can take the potion today. After that, wait an hour, and then BOOM! We're Animagi. Then we can go on full moons with you, and further extend the Marauders' empire." An evil and mischievous grin spread across the towhead's face as he thought of all the trouble the foursome could cause. "You think they're done in there? I want to go back to sleep 'coz I didn't get any in the 'Wing."

Remus tuned his highly sensitive ears into the sounds coming from the dorm. He could detect James' soothing voice still talking, but no sound of crying except for an occasional sniff.

He turned his attention back to Peter, and saw his plump friend looking contemplatively at Remus. "'Wish I could do that. I read that after you transform into your Animagus form, you acquire some of their characteristics. I think it'd be really cool to be able to run fast, or be able to hear anything, or see anything."

Remus gave a sad smile. "I'd give up the hearing and senses in a heartbeat if it meant I wouldn't have to be a werewolf."

Peter suddenly looked a bit frightened by this line of conversation. "So, are they done?" he said quickly.

Remus smiled, this time a soft one, and nodded. "Shall we?" he joked and held out his arm.

Peter grinned. "We shall." Arm in arm the two boys marched into the dorm room, where James was sitting in the chair looking forlorn, and Sirius was nothing but a sleeping lump underneath his bedclothes.