Before Falling Asleep

Before Falling Asleep

Chapter 2 - After Falling Asleep

"...it's not because you can't forget, but because you simply don't

want to..."

-- Anonymous

Darkness, pure darkness was all there was. She'd never been to any place so dark. She was scared. She could almost feel herself trembling.

Yet, she felt safe, as if someone or something powerful protected her.

It was...strange. All of a sudden, she realized that the moon was hanging in the sky, driving away the darkness. She could see her own pale skin, which seemed to be glowing in the dark. She looked down to find a silky white gown on her lithe form. It felt so natural on her body, with the innate scent telling her that it belonged to her and only her. A pleasant breeze whispered in the night air, and she felt her curly hair brushing gently past her shoulders.

Her eyes lifted slowly, and her gaze landed on a heavenly figure far away, standing in a ray of light. He was angelic indeed. His pale blond hair glowed in the darkness, along with his immaculate skin. Two miniature, opalescent horns were pointing up from the top of his head, adding contradictory hints of evil into the seraph. Two strong, forest green wings extended from his back. A tail of the same colour could be seen from behind him.

Slowly, she closed the distance between them. As she got closer, his cloudy grey eyes softened, and she found herself melting into the depths of them. He lifted his left hand to touch her cheek lovingly, sending tingles all over her body, and a smile spread on his lips. She raised her right hand to cover his, closing her eyes to lean into his touch and the warmth it brought. A tear traced its way down her cheek...

Hermione Granger sprang up from her back with a start. Breathing heavily, she regained some sense and thought back to what had just happened. It was a dream, she told herself. Or was it; she could still recall the emotions between the two and within herself. Myself? Where did that come from? Yet, the event gave her the feeling that it was a part of her memory, but she was sure that it was not even close to anything she had ever experienced. So, who were they? And...why did I cry? She thought to her wet pillow and sore eyes. And the dragon man.

All she could remember were his eyes, those grey orbs filled with a mixture of hope, comfort, and...love. His touch felt so familiar, yet so distant, as if it were from centuries ago. I'm thinking too much, it was just a dream after all.

Trying to convince herself to go back to sleep when her clock said "It's only 4:30 A.M., dear." Finally gave up when she realized that it was not going to happen, she then decided to take a walk in the little garden not far from her apartment; she had seen it before but this would be her first time walking through it -- though this was her fifth year living in the same apartment, she spent most of her time working, barely had any time at all to enjoy her neighbourhood.

The garden was full of lush green plants and lovely flowers of all seasons from all over the world, all due to the wonderful work of Ms.

Mueller, the land-lady of the apartments. A narrow cobblestone path twisted through the garden, enabling the visitors to enjoy themselves thoroughly without hurting the plants. The garden was charmed so it would be warm even during winter. Hermione took off her cloak, smiling at the thought of the benign, petite witch. She and Professor Flitwick would make a cute pair. The sound of music pouring from an unseen source cleared her mind of all thoughts. Walking further into the garden, she found a small fountain in the middle of it, surrounded by countless magnolias, gardenias, tulips, willows, and maples. Looking around, Hermione wondered how the meticulous lady with an immeasurable love for Muggle greenery fit all these beautiful plants in such a small space without making it seem crowded. It was then that she realized, with the reflection of the moonlight, the water seemed like the silver moonlight itself, slowly pouring out of the centre of the jade statute of a lotus, and into the tiny pond beneath it. As the water hit the surface of the pond, the notes of Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven flew into Hermione's ears, sinking into her heart. A whiff of delicate fragrance drifted past her, and she fixed her sight on the elegant figure standing in a corner of the pond, where the incense came from. It was...a tuft of narcissus! The gentle breeze caressed its frail body lightly, causing it to waver gracefully with the music. It was so elegant, yet so cold and condescending, with its unique motherly scent, just like her...

A tall, blond woman was holding a narcissus. Hermione saw herself being offered the blossom from the woman, a light smile softening her features. Then she turned around, and said to the pale blonde young man behind her, "Son, you've made the right choice. Now it is time to make it complete." The young man stepped forward, and took a silver chain with a locket hanging on it from his neck.

The locket looked like a silver heart, with dark, thorny green vines enwinding randomly yet stylishly around it. It must be a magical item, for no muggle artisan could have made it - with the vines, the heart looked almost like a not yet fully bloomed narcissus, just like the graceful flower she was holding in her hand.

He murmured something to it, of which she did not quite catch, and the vines slowly unwound the heart, drawing back into it, leaving not a trace behind. Then the heart cracked open from the bottom, with the upper part gradually rising, forming two semi-hearts. Then he turned it, so the inside was facing the young lady. She could see his face inside the locket. It was small, but clear, with motions identical to the holder's. He motioned her to take it. She merely mumbled "Th-thank you..." and carefully took it in her palm.

The blond woman spoke up, "I, Narcissa Odovacar Malfoy, hereby declare Hermione Aldora Granger part of the Malfoy family."

Then she walked over to the overwhelmed girl, took her small frame in her arms and kissed her forehead. "And now," she whispered softly, "you may call me mother."

"No!" Hermione cried out, "I don't want to remember anymore. Make it stop! Please make it stop." She shook her head violently, trying desperately to drive away the images - but that was no use. Finally breaking down, she sand down onto the ground, tears streaming down her cheeks. She sobbed softly, "Make it stop..."

Pushing away the tears while she tried to calm down, the pale blush in the east caught her attention. She checked her watch: it was 6:43 AM; she had lost track of time. Quietly reprimanding herself, she hurried back to her apartment to get ready for work.

***

Twenty minutes later, a refreshed Hermione Granger apparated into St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, the best hospital in wizarding London. Scratch that, it was one of the best sanatoriums in the world. Being the top med-witch in Britain and working at one of the best hospitals made her rather proud. Every time she thought about her work, the day would light up more, and all the troubles that were bothering her would fade away.

Receiving warm greetings from colleagues on the way, she made it to her office. It was a big room, with a lab area, which had the first hand equipments, and a fair number of well-trained interns to assist her with the researches she had been working on.

"Morning, Granger!" Kevin Whitby called out playfully. He was one of the assistants who were here to help Hermione. Not exactly an intern, for he had graduated from Hogwarts two years ago, and had been working under Hermione ever since. To her, he was like the little brother she'd never had. He was a Hufflepuff, but in Hermione's opinion, he could have made a perfect Ravenclaw, for he was indeed a bright young man.

"Good morning, Kevin." Smiling back, she took the warm coffee mug from his hand, and nodded her thanks.

The blonde young man then paused to observe Hermione's face. "You didn't sleep well last night, did you? The bags are showing under your eyes." His warm hazel eyes filled with concern. "What happened?"

"Oh, that was nothing." She waved a hand in the air. "I just needed some coffee, thanks a lot, it's quite delicious." She took a sip for effect. "See, awake and energetic. Don't you worry about..."

"This is not the first time," he cut in sharply. The facade on her face slowly faded, turning into a frown.

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.

"We can go out for some coffee sometime after work, you know." Kevin suggested.

"Kevin, I don't recall asking for your advice," she snapped, her frustration getting the better of her.

"We should get to work," Hermione said finally, after another awkward hush. That did it. Kevin groaned in response as she sat down in her chair in front of the large desk, and handed him a pile of paper. She felt the sides of her mouth twitching up slightly in relief.

The two then worked in silence, until Kevin decided to break it.

"Hermione," he started carefully, as if afraid of another attack. "you know, a wise man once said: there are two kinds of people in this world: the ones who believe in miracles, and the ones who don't."

Meeting Hermione's confused gaze, he continued. "Being the admirable med-witch that you are, obviously you belong to the first group as far as your work is concerned. But why can't you take half the faith you have here to your personal life?"

He paused to collect Hermione's reactions. Seeing none, he kept going.

"Maybe I don't know you well enough to say this, but it seems like you're trying to put all your energy into work. I know you love this job, but it appears to me as if you are using it as an escape from the world outside of this building, because you are," he stopped again to look for the appropriate word, "struggling to get away from something out there. Am I right?"

There was no answer. He wasn't exactly looking for one, either.

***

The day went by peculiarly fast, and Kevin's words had been echoing inHermione's head repetitively. She had no idea how she got home, whether she had eaten at all, or how she finally made it into her bed.

She'd known the answer to Kevin's question all along, and she wanted to tell him that he was right. But the usual courage was not in her today.

What was she running away from? Deep inside her heart, was the answer to her own question. However, she dared not reach down to it.

"Why can't you take half the faith you have here to your personal life?"

Lying in her bed, staring at the burry shade of the moon through the blue drape, she told herself to sleep. She knew they'd all go away when she was asleep. The confusion, the pain, they were too much to take in all in one day. She had managed to hide it for five years, though she knew well that it would come back someday. But she was not ready yet, not now; she was not prepared at all. At the moment, the only way to seek peace inside her soul was to sleep, and pray that all the trouble would just disappear.

Little did she know, more was yet to come, after she had fallen asleep...