Happiness Is an Angry Weasley

I entered the Transfiguration classroom, practically bursting with excitement. I had a greater swagger in my step than normal, my confidence was through the roof, and I looked damn good.

So, my plan. I planned to somehow make sure I had a detention with Weasley so that I could start the plan to win him over. A plan to start a plan. A pre-plan, if you will.

What I hadn't decided yet was how exactly to go about getting detention. I sat down in my usual seat when an idea hit me. I stood up quickly and left the room again, getting a funny look from McGonagall. She asked me where I was going and I gave her a mock-frantic look and said, "Loo." She raised an eyebrow, giving me one of those, "I know you're up to something," looks, but I just whimpered a little and after a sigh she motioned for me to go.

I ran to the loo and stood in front of the mirror smirking for a moment and checked my hair. Perfect as usual. I hadn't put my stuff down, but if I got back to the classroom after a lot of people were in there... I wouldn't have much of a choice where I sat. The Slytherin side always filled up and one of us always had to sit on the Gryffindor side. So, today I'd be that Slytherin.

I had no way of knowing it would work out so perfectly.

The late bell rang just as I walked in, and McGonagall ignored my entrance. I looked around and to my surprise (and pleasure) the only empty seats were on either side of the Terrible Trio. (I didn't name them that, I think Pansy thought of it. Believe me, I would've come up with something much wittier.) So, I obviously chose the better seat for my plan.

I sat down next to Ronald Weasley, and gave him a cheerful smirk. He groaned and turned to look at his two friends, who turned to me and glared. I just kept smiling and took out my notebook for the class and a quill.

I sat quietly for the first half of class, which was nothing but McGonagall giving notes. Near the end I was getting restless and, without meaning to, muttered, "There are really only so many ways of explaining the differences between transfiguring a living tree and a dead block of wood. I envy them both for not being able to listen to this bloody lecture." I heard a snigger from next to me, and looked over wide-eyed to see Weasley covering his mouth.

He looked at me and, realizing he was laughing at a joke I had made, quickly sobered up. I smirked when I noticed his ears going red. Perhaps this would be easier than I thought.

Thinking quickly, I decided now would be the time to provoke him and earn that detention. "I'm surprised you understood that, Weasley. Afterall, I was under the impression your intelligence was at the same level as a block of wood."

His ears turned brighter red, and I noticed his hands ball up into fists. I smirked more and whispered, "It's almost poetic, how similar you are to a tree. Thick. Boring. Abnormally tall."

I saw and heard Granger lean over and whisper, "Ignore him." I feigned writing down notes as McGonagall passed by, then took the next opportunity to lean over again.

"That's right. Listen to the mudblood. Though... she does have rather nice branches..."

That was it. Insulting him and then making a lewd comment about his precious Granger. That pushed him over the edge.

He turned and practically shouted, "Shut it already, Malfoy!"

The entire classroom silenced at that.

"Mr. Weasley. Is there a problem?" McGonagall asked, making her way over to our side of the room.

"Malfoy was... provoking me..." he muttered.

I looked at her innocently and said, "I was only talking about the wood, Professor."

She looked back and forth between us, from Weasley's bright red face, to my feigned-innocence. Finally she rested her gaze on Weasley and said, "I do not appreciate your interruption of my lesson, Mr. Weasley. I'll see you in detention after dinner tonight, where you can acquaint yourself with the different types of wood by organizing my cabinets."

With that she turned to walk away. "No!" I mentally screamed. This was supposed to be a detention for the both of us. I quickly tried to think of something that would make her give me detention as well. Something bad... anything...

Then it hit me. Like a ton of wood.

I leaned over to Weasley and hissed loud enough for her to hear...

"What a bitch."

The classroom erupted into gasps from the Gryffindors and laughter from the Slytherins.

Without turning around, McGonagall added, "You can join him, Malfoy."

My face burned from the attention and unnecessary use of profanity in front of a teacher, but inside I was quite pleased.

Detention with Weasley.

Brilliant.

I looked over at Weasley, who was glaring at me. "Great," he whispered when McGonagall's attention was elsewhere. "Now I have to spend more time with you." I smiled and said, "Don't look so disappointed."

After some silence I leaned over again and said, "I don't really like Granger's branches anyway."

He made sure McGonagall wasn't looking again and whispered, "I always knew you were a poof."

I smirked and whispered, "Takes one to know one."

"So you admit it?" he said.

"And you don't deny it?" I asked, with a false innocence.

He looked at me and glared, searching my face for truth. Had I just come out to him? Or was I joking? I raised an eyebrow as if to challenge him.

He opened his mouth and began to speak, but what he was going to say I never found out.

The bell rang, his friends dragged him away, and I was left standing alone in the Transfiguration classroom.

Perhaps I'll ask him in detention. Pre-plan accomplished.