Loony Luna Lovegood

They all thought I was mad.

Loony Luna Lovegood.

Well, I've shown them, haven't I?

They all wondered why I was in Ravenclaw.

"Brains?" they would say. "She uses what little brains she has for dreaming."

None of them realised it was a mask. Except the Sorting Hat, of course.

The mask helped me get through every day. It let all the insults bounce off me, and all the book stealing. It helped me get over my mother's death, because my mask works both ways. There's this huge hole, this vacuum, between me and the outside world. It takes a while for things to penetrate, if they do at all. Mother's death did. Eventually. When it did, Dad thought I was mad, just like the rest of them. Well. I had my doubts about Ron.

Ron saw moments when my mask slipped. He was intrigued by me. I laughed at his jokes-they penetrated the mask very quickly. It took a while longer for me to realise I watched him eat breakfast, lunch and tea. That he wasn't really as bad as he thought he was. He was funny, just a little hot tempered.

Of course, he went off with Hermione Granger.

I had to console him after her so mysterious, so tragic death.

Hermione had known from the beginning that it was a mask. She was the only person who saw me crying over Mum in the toilets while she was brewing some illegal potion, in my first year.

That's why I didn't like her, I suppose. She had seen me at one of my weakest moments. She knew what I didn't want anyone to know-that I was a little girl just like everyone else.

Not Loony Lovegood. Luna Lovegood.

That's why I didn't want her around.

Ron was an accident. We were on the Astronomy Tower, in the sixth year, six months after Hermione, and he slipped. No, he did, really. I didn't mean to kill him. Not then, anyway. I did mourn him. Only it took a while for me to realise he was dead.

Then they really thought I was mad.

Except Harry Potter.

The Boy Who Lived.

The past tense is most appropriate there, don't you think? Of course I wanted Voldemort dead. Who didn't? But Harry maintained I was a human being, like everyone else, which is what I'm afraid of, being like everyone else, and people knowing I have emotions, because if they know that you have emotions, they can do anything to you. I waited until the Second War was over. I hate unnecessary death, but there's nothing wrong with necessary death. That's why Voldemort had to die before Harry, because Voldemort killed unnecessarily. Half the time he killed where a reasonable Memory Charm would do. But he killed instead. The sign of true madness.

However, Harry, Ron and Hermione's deaths were necessary, so they happened, though Ron's was accidental. But everyone else didn't know, so they didn't have to die.

They all thought I was mad.

Loony Luna Lovegood.

Well, I've shown them, haven't I?