General Lee

How do you pick between loves? How do you pick between loyalties? Which is more important, your loyalty to your house, or your school? Your beliefs, or your family's? These questions had plagued Regulus for sleepless weeks.

Before it had seemed simple, listen to Mummy and Daddy. Sirius was clearly just a rebel and would realize his mistake soon. And someday, the rest of the Muggle-lovers would too. That's what his parents always told him. And he believed them; they were his parents.
Now, Regulus stood face to face with his brother; the brother he hadn't seen since he graduated Hogwarts 2 years ago. Regulus was about to finalize what he knew would be one of the bigger decisions of his life; little did he know that it was going to be the biggest decision of his life, or rather the second biggest.

Sirius knew what sort of crowd his brother ran with; the sort of crowd their parents approved of. It was the sort of crowd that Sirius didn't like.

Regulus looked at his brother and knew nothing had changed. He searched for some sign of affection in his brother's face. Their problems hadn't started 'til Sirius entered Hogwarts and he met that Potter boy and Lupin. After he met them, his whole view of the world shifted. Sirius had never been quite like the rest of the family, but it'd never been so clear until then. With Sirius gone at Hogwarts for two years, Regulus was left alone to deal with his parents and their beliefs. Their mother became so disappointed with Sirius that Regulus strived desperately to make his her happy. He knew that she had really settled by favoring her youngest; she'd always hoped for great things to come of her eldest someday and then to have her baby follow in his footsteps, but nothing ever came of Sirius as far as she was concerned. Regulus hadn't seen his brother in two years and for the five years before that that they were at Hogwarts together they rarely ever even exchanged a word in the corridor.

Regulus had sent his brother an owl a week ago, asking him to meet with him. He'd sent an owl the week before that, and the week before that. Finally, after some convincing from his friends, Sirius agreed to come and sent a response back yesterday. He agreed to meet outside the Hogshead.

They'd been standing there, looking at each other for almost two minutes now. Needless to say, Regulus was a bit uneasy. He'd come early and been waiting there when Sirius stepped out from the shadows of a nearby tree. Now, Sirius stood there, leaning on the wall of the pub with his arms crossed in front of him.

Regulus took a deep breath, trying not to be obvious. He had to be cool and collected. Suave. Slytherin. Proud. Elegant. He had to be an upstanding member of the Black family. "Shall we go in?" Sirius's eyes were a steely gray that always unnerved Regulus a little.

Sirius looked at Regulus, seeming almost bored, and measured him. He kept himself cool and collected. He may have been the rebel, but he grew up in that forsaken house long enough to know how and when to mask his emotions. He also knew that by arriving ten minutes late he'd put stress on Regulus and showed that he had the upper hand; if it weren't that Regulus desperately wanted to speak with him, he would have left after five minutes to prove that anyone who wouldn't show up on time wasn't worth waiting for. The cards were dealt. Sirius gave a curt nod and turned to enter the pub. He wondered why exactly Regulus had called him here. Until now, they'd both been content with staying out of each other's lives. At least, he thought they'd both been content to with it. Maybe Regulus needed his big brother more than Sirius thought.

Sirius approached the bar and ordered a drink, dropping the money on the counter. He went to a table in the corner, followed by his younger brother. When they were both seated Sirius waited for Regulus to open up the conversation.

After about a minute of studying a stain on the less-than-clean table, Regulus cleared his throat. "I suppose you're wondering why I asked to see you."

"The thought has crossed my mind."

"We haven't had a real conversation in years. You've been out of Hogwarts for two years now and out of the house before then. Where do you work?" Regulus tried to sound casual, as though it didn't particularly matter.

"I've been working with a new company that's planning on manufacturing racing brooms. Emeril Nimbus is the head of the company; he graduated a couple of years before I did. And yourself?" Sirius asked; he tried not to sound it, but he was curious to see just what his brother would be doing now that he graduated. Regulus had been out of Hogwarts for a couple of months now.

"A friend of mine, Wetzel Rookwood, secured me a place in the Ministry before I graduated. I'm working in the Accidental Magic Department right now."

Sirius arched an eyebrow. "Doesn't that take a year's worth of additional training?"

"I'm doing desk work while I train part time," Regulus said, the tiniest hint of a blush creeping into his cheeks.

Sirius nodded; he'd thought as much. The way the Ministry worked, unless this Rookwood was high up in the ranks, Regulus would probably never be promoted much past the desk job he was currently at. At least Sirius liked what he did, even if he didn't make all that much money at it. Still, Regulus didn't have to know that. Sirius had worn one of his nice sets of robes for this meeting today.

Their drinks were brought over to them during this lull in the conversation.

Sirius took a sip of his drink and waited for Regulus to bring up the real reason for this call. He doubted it was a social one.

Regulus had had several sips of whatever it was he had ordered when he finally got the nerve to start saying what he wanted to say. "I take it you haven't change your views? I mean, you are still siding with...the headmaster, aren't you?" He couldn't quite bring himself to say "Dumbledore," because as powerful as everyone said the Dark Lord was, if he was afraid of Dumbledore, then it certainly meant that Albus Dumbledore was worth reckoning with.

Sirius softened a little. "Yes. I told you that that wasn't something that was going to change, Reg. I might have been a little resentful to be placed in Gryffindor at first, but it was really the best thing that ever happened to me. My eyes were opened. Did you know that the girl who got top marks in my year for almost every subject, seven years in a row, was a Muggle-born? I didn't know it until nearly three months after I met her. Pretty, brainy, and with a lot more personality than a lot of Purebloods I know," Sirius said, thinking fondly of her.

"Then why didn't you marry her? Mum might have gone through enough stress to put her into St. Mungos," Regulus said, the tiniest bit of humor in his voice.

Sirius shook his head. "As much as I would have loved to see that happen, she wasn't my girl. She married my best friend about a year ago."

There was a pause between them.

"I suppose you know the crowd I run with?"

"Yes, if things haven't changed since our school days I do. I may have ignored you, but I wasn't blind. I remember Rookwood; he was in the same year as Nimbus. Snivellus Snape was your surrogate brother." He started ticking off other names as well, mostly older than Regulus by at least a year. "Avery, Nott, Crabbe, Goyle, Lestrange...need I go on?"

"I suppose you know where they stand on the issues."

"Yes, get on with your point," snapped Sirius.

"I've decided that I really am going to join them. I think they're right. We really do need to get rid of the Mu--"

Sirius didn't wait to find out whether his brother was going to say Muggles, Muggle-borns, or Mudbloods. "And I'd hoped you might have had a drop of sense in you," he said, disgustedly. "I guess it was too much to hope for."

"Sirius, having Muggle-borns in our world puts our world in jeopardy. The more of them we have in it, the more connections the Muggles have to us, and the more likely they are to find out about our existence. If they find out, life as we know it will be gone forever."

"At what price? Do you really know what they're like, Reg? Do you?" Sirius asked. "You were too young to remember the time I found Bella dismembering that owl for the fun of it. The poor owl shrieked and tried to get away and couldn't. She made it painfully slow until he finally died. You weren't in school yet when Snivellus Snape first started to call the brightest witch I've ever known filthy names. I've seen Nott hexed students behind their back and Avery kick people when they're down. These people have no limits. No sense of human decency. You have no idea what they're all capable of."

"You're including cousin Bella in that? You should never speak ill of family," Regulus said, recalling his manners.

"As if you, and dad, and dearest Mum didn't do that whenever I wasn't around? Or even when I was around." Sirius took another sip of his drink.

"Sirius, you can't change the way you feel, and I can't change the way I feel. I just wanted to let you know what was going on." He lowered his voice, looking around. "I know these people can get a little violent. I'm not completely ignorant. But I don't have to get violent. I think they have the right idea and...I'm making Mum and Dad proud." He looked away, unable to meet his brother's eyes. "The only person I could never make proud was you."

A glimmer of the affection that Regulus had sought not half an hour ago appeared in Sirius's eyes. "Step away from this and I'll be proud, Reg. You don't have to be our parents or our grandparents. Heck, I'd settle for you to be Andromeda. There's a witch with some sense."

Regulus teetered for a moment, looking at his brother's pleading eyes. "I've made my decision, Sirius. But I want you to know you'll always be my brother. That's never changed."

"Then where in Merlin's name have you been the last nine years? Ever since I went off to Hogwarts, things weren't the same since. Our mother was polluting your mind months at a time with no way for me to stop her. Do you honestly think Purebloods are so much better? Do you honestly think it's right to cut the heads of house-elves when they get old and mount them on the wall? Do you think it's right to torture people to get them to do what you want, or give out the information you want?" Sirius had been in the Order of the Phoenix for nearly two years now. He had a sinking feeling that Regulus, fresh out of Hogwarts, didn't know what he was getting himself into.

"They're just house-elves," Regulus protested, sidestepping the purity question. "I'm sure they wouldn't torture people. They wouldn't do something like that."

"Regulus, I'm asking you as a brother, I know these people. I can't explain it to you, not here, not now, maybe not ever, but I know what they're like and you're going to have to trust me. You don't want to get mixed up with them."

"A brother? Brother, where have you been the last nine years?" Regulus scooted back his chair, preparing to leave. "I need more of an explanation than that, Sirius. Family is important to me. It means the world. Our parents want me to do this. They think it's right. Maybe I didn't search you out in Hogwarts either, but I'd disgrace the family name and my House. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor as friends?"

"As brothers."

"I've made my decision, Sirius. I...I guess I just wanted to see if I could have one last chance to get your approval." He stood up.

"Walk away from this, Regulus. Walk away from this now. Walk away from them." If Sirius could save his brother, he would, but he knew he couldn't force him.

"I can't do that, Sirius." There was a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Yes, you can. Be brave, Reg. Walk away from our parents, away from stupid traditions, and away from the friends that are going to hurt you. They will hurt you, Regulus, make no mistake about that. You can't trust them."

"Why? I can't trust them because they were Slytherins?" Regulus asked, upset. "I was a Slytherin. I care about my family. I'll do anything for them. They want me to go and do this, and join with the one they think is right, then I'm going to do this."

"I'm your family too, Regulus," Sirius said, any attempt at composure gone.

Regulus shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Sirius, you're outnumbered. If I'm one thing, it's loyal. I won't turn my back on people. I'm not turning my back on our parents. I'm not walking out on them like you did. Maybe we'll see each other when all this is over." Regulus gulped down the remains of his glass. "I have elsewhere to be," Regulus said simply, walking away, walking out of Sirius's life.

Neither of them knew that they would never see each other alive again. Neither of them knew that by the time Regulus tried to leave the Death Eaters, less than a year later, he would already be in far too deep to get out. Neither of them knew that their brotherly bond was forever shattered when Regulus walked out that day.

Sirius gulped down the contents of what was left in his glass and ran outside. He saw the hem of Regulus's robes round the corner as he left, but he didn't pursue him. He'd tried, Merlin he tried, but it was no use. Sirius didn't know that in less than a year, he would be sorely regretting that he didn't chase after him that day. With a mournful look for his brother, Sirius Disapperated with a quiet cracking sound. He was sure it was the sound of ice breaking. Maybe it was his heart? They'd never been particularly close, not since they were young, but family was family after all. Even if he felt nothing toward his parents, he still wished he could have saved his brother today.