Pretend

Pretend

Mistakes don't mean a thing, if you don't regret them

~

Remus Lupin opened his eyes slowly, struggling to adjust to the bright light flooding his bedroom.

He was lying on his stomach, and so with his right hand he reached out and moved the clock on his bedside table so he could see what time it was. The clock read 8am.

He heard someone breathing beside him. It was then that he remembered what had occurred the previous night. He also became acutely aware that his left arm was draped across the bare chest of this someone, his left hand resting on her right shoulder.

Smiling, Remus shifted his head so he was now facing the girl who was sharing his bed.

Hermione.

She was still sleeping, her head inclined towards him, her right hand grasping his wrist while her left hand rested on his upper arm. Although their blanket only covered up to their waists, neither of the pair was cold, the fireplace in the corner of the bedroom keeping them warm.

Remus had never seen her look more peaceful. Though he had known her for five years, he had never seen her look even remotely calm or serene.

I guess when you grow up being best friends with a boy who is hunted by one of the most evil wizards of all time, you don't get much peace, Remus surmised. And being without peace was something he knew a little about.

Remus carefully removed his arm from across Hermione and sat up, slowly and deliberately so as not to wake her. He picked up his dressing-gown, which was lying across the foot of the bed, and wrapped it around his naked body. He slowly padded downstairs to his small kitchen and poured two glasses of water. He took his time; carefully avoiding the floorboards he knew creaked when stood upon.

When he returned to the bedroom, he found in the short time he had been gone Hermione had shifted in her sleep. She was now sleeping on her side, her right arm at a slight angle, resting where Remus had lain not so long ago.

Remus drank some of his water and placed his now half empty glass on his bedside table, then walked around the bed and placed the second glass on the other, matching table for Hermione when she awoke.

He walked back to his side of the bed and removed his robe, throwing it back onto the foot of the bed. He gently pushed Hermione's arm closer to her body and got back into bed.

He kissed her exposed shoulder blade before lying down on his side, facing Hermione, propping his head up on his hand. He smiled as he lightly ran his hand up and down her side, thinking about how it was they ended up here.

* * * * *

"Are you certain, Headmaster?"

"I am, Remus. Of course, you are under no obligation to accept, but I thought you might be interested. We need someone we can trust in this position, and I could think of no one better."

"But last time-"

"I am confident nothing like that will happen again. I am certain this is the right course."

"Okay, I accept. But on one condition."

"Yes?"

"I don't want to live at the school. After last time... I won't put the students in danger during my transformations. I must insist."

"Okay, Remus," Dumbledore acquiesced.

The two men shook hands as the kitchen door burst open, revealing Harry, Ron and Hermione.

"Sorry, Professor," Harry apologised.

"That's quite okay, Harry. Miss Granger, Mr Weasley. You are all well I trust."

The three teens nodded at their Headmaster.

"We didn't mean to interrupt. We'll leave you alone," Hermione said, starting to back out of the kitchen.

"No need, Miss Granger. I was just on my way out. And I believe if you stay here a moment, Remus may give you some good news," he teased, eyes sparkling.

The trio turned their attention to Remus, their expressions curious.

"Well," said Dumbledore, heading for the door. "I bid you all goodnight."

"Goodbye, Headmaster," said Remus.

The three young friends added their farewell. When Dumbledore closed the door behind him, they turned to their former professor.

"Remus?" Harry questioned, knowing he didn't have to elaborate.

Remus smiled. "Professor Dumbledore has just offered me the Defence Against the Dark Arts teaching position." He paused, and Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at him with anticipation, wanting to have their suspicions confirmed before reacting. "And I accepted."

The three teens rushed to him, grins on their faces.

"Brilliant!" said Ron, with his usual conciseness.

"I'm so happy for you," Harry added, beaming.

"It's wonderful. Congratulations, Remus. Though I guess it's back to Professor now, huh?"

"Hermione, it's taken me this long to get you to call me Remus. We are not going back to Professor, thankyou very much."

"But in class-" Hermione began to protest before Remus cut her off.

"Okay, yes, in class you will have to call me Professor. But other than that, it's still Remus. Okay?"

Hermione nodded.

"Ron? Harry? Hermione?" came Molly Weasley's voice from the next room. She opened the door to find them all in the kitchen. "Oh, hello Remus. Come on kids, time for bed."

Ron, Harry and Hermione grudgingly walked out of the kitchen, Remus trailing them. They all said their goodnights and the three friends headed upstairs. Remus watched them go, and when Hermione glanced back at him as she walked up the stairs, he returned her smile.

*

After their first day of classes of their last year at Hogwarts, Harry, Ron and Hermione sought out Remus in his Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. They were curious as to how his first day back had gone. Knowing they were worried about a backlash due to his werewolf status, Remus assured them there had been no problems so far, nor was he anticipating any, so he told them not to worry about him.

Remus quickly changed the topic, asking them about their first day back. Ron was quick to complain about Snape, Harry lamented the amount of homework they had after one day while Hermione voiced her disbelief at them being in their seventh and final year of school.

After chatting for a while, the three teens turned to leave for dinner, expecting Remus to follow them. When he didn't, they asked if he was coming to eat with them.

Remus looked at them for a moment, seemingly trying to decide something. He then indicated to chairs at the nearest table and invited them to sit with him. When they all sat down he explained he wasn't living at Hogwarts as the other teachers did. After the events of the last year he taught, he didn't want to endanger the students. Plus, living in Hogsmeade allowed him the opportunity to continue work for the Order. But he emphasised that this information was to be kept between them; the fewer people who knew this info the better.

When Hermione asked where he was living, all three students were shocked by his reply.

The Shrieking Shack.

Remus laughed at their stunned expressions. But once he explained his reasoning, they felt stupid for not having thought of it themselves. It made perfect sense.

The Shack was close to the school. It was somewhere he could live without being bothered by anyone. But the most important feature was the tunnel that ran from it to Hogwarts, allowing an easy commute.

Harry questioned how easy a commute it was, given the Whomping Willow. But Remus confided that over the summer, Dumbledore had the tunnel extended so it could now be entered from within the castle.

By the time all these explanations were complete, the three teens were running late for dinner. Remus escorted them to the door of his classroom. Opening it, he reminded them not to discuss with anyone what he had told them. They gave their word as they filed out of the classroom and Remus unconsciously guided Hermione through the doorframe by placing his hand on the small of her back.

*

Remus paced his office, torn between feeling nervous and feeling foolish for feeling nervous.

He stopped dead in his tracks at the implications of these feelings. There could be no denying it now. This was not a normal way to feel at the impending arrival of one of your students. Or even the impending arrival of one of your friends, which is what he considered Hermione to be.

But the feelings coursing through his body made Remus realise he didn't care for Hermione as a student or a friend.

He was falling for her.

Okay, Remus thought as he resumed his pacing. You've realised this, it's out there, so now you can deal with it. There are far too many reasons to list why you shouldn't feel this way and why you and Hermione can never be. So let's just forget about it and move on.

Remus nodded to himself. He was so caught up in his chain of thought that he jumped slightly at the sound of a knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, he walked to his office door and opened it, revealing Hermione.

"Hello, Remus," she smiled at him.

"Hermione," he returned her smile and moved aside so she could enter the office.

They both sat and exchanged some small talk before getting to the reason for Hermione's visit.

"So what can I help you with, Hermione?"

"I have a favour to ask. I'm having trouble studying and - don't look at me like that," she laughed as Remus looked scandalised by her study issues.

"Sorry," he replied, trying to look contrite.

"Anyway, as I was saying, I'm having trouble studying because no matter where I go there are always people making noise; the library, the common room, everywhere. So I was kind of hoping that you would let me study in your classroom."

She looked so unsure yet so hopeful, Remus knew he couldn't deny her. "Of course."

Hermione beamed. "Thankyou, Remus."

He smiled and watched her leave his office. When the door closed behind her, he sighed, resting his head on the desk.

What had he gotten himself into?

*

Hermione lifted her hand to knock on the classroom door but then stopped herself, her fist mere inches from the wooden door. She sighed as she dropped her hand to her side.

Just do it, she chastised herself. Just go in there, apologise and get it over with.

She started to back away from the door, her cowardice temporarily taking over. She got a few steps away before summoning her strength and in one unbroken motion, she walked back to the door and knocked on it.

"Come in," came the voice from within the classroom.

Hermione opened the door and peeked her head around it. Remus smiled at her from his desk and motioned for her to enter, saying, "You know you don't have to knock Hermione."

"I just thought it might be better, after yesterday," she explained after she closed the door behind her and walked to the desk at the front of the classroom.

"Ah..." Remus responded.

The day before, Hermione had gone to Remus's classroom in the afternoon to study, as she had been doing most days for the previous few months. She dumped her book bag on the desk and went to Remus's office to say hello. She opened the door and opened her mouth to speak, but was momentarily taken aback when she saw Remus talking to Professor Snape, so the words died in her throat.

She felt temporarily paralysed, unsure if she should announce her presence or turn around and walk out of the room.

Remus and Snape were deep in conversation and hadn't noticed her. She had decided to back out of the office when she heard it.

"Pettigrew has been sighted?" Remus asked, surprise clear in his voice.

"He has. In Surrey."

Hermione's eyes widened in shock.

"He's going after Harry's family," Remus said, almost to himself. "What-"

Remus broke off. He had seen Hermione. Snape turned and instantly scowled.

"How long have you been there?" Snape demanded.

Hermione felt like she couldn't breathe. She lost all coherent thought under Snape's hateful gaze.

"Well?" he spat impatiently.

Hermione's eyes flicked briefly to Remus. He didn't look angry, if anything he looked concerned. He nodded encouragingly to her.

"Not long," Hermione replied, shifting her attention back to Snape.

"How much did you hear?"

"Not much."

"Which would indicate you heard some."

Hermione nodded.

"Tell me, Miss Granger, do you make a habit of eavesdropping on other peoples conversations?"

Hermione was about to object but Remus got in first. "Now really Severus, we both know Hermione wasn't eavesdropping."

Snape whirled back to Remus.

"Miss Granger, wait outside for a minute," Snape said, keeping his attention focused on Remus.

Hermione backed out of the office into the classroom, closing the door behind her.

When Snape heard the door close, he spoke to Remus through gritted teeth. "There is a reason information such as this is confined to the Order, Lupin."

"I'm not saying this is an ideal situation, Severus. However, it cannot be undone. And I am certain Hermione will keep this information confidential."

Snape didn't reply. He looked Remus up and down, as if trying to figure something out. He sneered, then turned on his heel and walked out of the office. Remus followed slowly, hands in his pockets.

Hermione stood as her two professors approached her.

"You are not to utter a single whisper of what you have heard here today to anyone. Understood?" Snape said forcibly.

Hermione silently nodded.

Snape gave her one last loathsome look before leaving without another word.

Remus and Hermione stared at each other from across the classroom. Hermione was lost for words. She was so shocked by the unexpected turn of events that she didn't know what to do or how to react. So she picked up her bag and walked out of the classroom.

"I'm really sorry about happened. I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay, Hermione. It was an accident. Could have happened to anyone. Though I must reiterate what Professor Snape said. You cannot tell anyone what you heard."

Hermione nodded, wondering what the Order was going to do to protect the Dursleys.

"And I cannot tell you anything about our plan of action regarding Harry's family," Remus said, seemingly reading Hermione's mind.

She smiled. "How did you know that was what I was thinking?"

"Because I know how your mind works. You always want to know as much information as humanly possible. I wouldn't expect any less of the brightest witch of your age."

Hermione sighed, collapsing into the nearest chair. "I wish you wouldn't call me that," she said quietly.

Remus was puzzled. "Why?"

"Because it's a lot to live up to. I'm not perfect and I don't know everything. It makes me feel like you have these huge expectations of me and I'm terrified I won't be able to live up to those expectations. I don't want to disappoint you."

Remus got up from his desk and walked to Hermione. He crouched down beside her, so he was no longer towering over her, and looked into her brown eyes. "You could never disappoint me, Hermione," he said sincerely. "I only say these things because I honestly believe you are the cleverest student in this school. But I can see it makes you uncomfortable, so I won't call you that again."

Hermione stared into Remus's eyes. She could see the honesty and sincerity in his face and it warmed her heart to know he genuinely respected her. She felt the sudden urge to reach out and caress his cheek but contained herself, knowing that really wasn't appropriate.

Not trusting her voice to work properly, she merely smiled in reply.

"Now, if you'll excuse me," Remus said as he stood up, "I have a staff meeting to attend. I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Goodbye, Remus."

Hermione watched him walk out of the classroom, giving her one last smile before he closed the door behind him.

*

Hermione sat in the corner of her favourite couch in the deserted Gryffindor common room, an open Potions book in her lap. She was sitting deathly still, her outside giving no indication to the chaos that was going on within.

How have I become that person, Hermione wondered. How have I become that cliché; the brainy girl with a crush on her teacher.

As she sat examining her feelings, she eventually realised that maybe that statement wasn't entirely accurate. Her feelings for Remus were more than just a crush. And she felt Remus was first and foremost her friend. So really, she didn't have a crush on her teacher. She was falling for her friend.

Hermione closed the book on her lap and threw it onto the floor, knowing there was absolutely no chance of being able to study. Sighing, she lay down on the couch, taking the throw blanket that lay over the back of the couch and covering her body with it.

She couldn't deny it anymore, though she wished with all her heart she could. It would be so much easier to not have these feelings, to develop feelings for Harry or Ron, like everyone was expecting her to. But as they say, the heart wants what the heart wants. And her heart wanted Remus.

Hermione smiled as she remembered all the time she had spent with Remus over the previous few months. Aside from their Defence Against the Dark Arts classes and just seeing him around the school, they had spent a lot of time together while she used his classroom to study. Hermione had quickly discovered Remus rarely used his office to work. If he had papers to grade or lessons to plan, he used his desk in the classroom. Hermione suspected Remus found the office slightly claustrophobic and she couldn't blame him.

So a lot of the time Hermione would share the classroom with Remus. Sometimes they worked in total silence, though neither felt the least bit uncomfortable. Other times, they would spend the hours talking, leaving having completed less work than anticipated.

Hermione lazily closed her eyes, too comfortable and too tired to get up and go to bed. She fell asleep, thinking of Remus.

*

Harry, Hermione and Ron strolled down the main street of Hogsmeade. The falling snow, fairy lights, carollers and Christmas trees made it look truly picturesque, like something out a storybook.

The trio had finished their last minute Christmas shopping and were admiring the decorations on the various shopfronts.

The streets were fairly crowded, filled mainly with their fellow Hogwarts students. Looking at all the people around her, Hermione spotted Remus a few shops ahead of them, talking to Ginny Weasley. She smiled instantly at the sight of him.

She turned her attention back to the conversation Harry and Ron were having as they made their way down the street. But her eyes quickly found Remus again and she felt a peculiar stab of jealousy as she saw Ginny and Remus laughing together.

Ron and Harry's words got drowned out as she focused on Remus. And then, as if he could sense her presence, Remus started looking around him until he saw Hermione. Their eyes locked onto each other and everything around them faded. All they could see was each other.

Remus smiled at Hermione as she drew closer to him. He was vaguely aware of Ginny talking to him but he couldn't look away.

Hermione was pulled out of this daze when Ron and Harry collectively said her name. She turned her attention to her two friends. Evidently they had been trying to get her attention so she could settle a debate between them. They were looking at her expectantly and Hermione blushed slightly as she mumbled an apology for not paying attention to what they were saying. Ron rolled his eyes, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "typical." Harry laughed at Ron, then told Hermione it didn't matter because he was right, end of story.

By now they were approaching Ginny and Remus. Ginny spotted them and yelled out to get their attention.

Harry pointed out Remus and Ginny to Hermione and Ron, so the trio made a beeline for their friends.

"Hi guys," Ginny greeted them enthusiastically. Everyone exchanged greetings as they stood in a circle.

Unfortunately, they had met in front of Zonko's, so naturally Ron and Harry wanted to go in and have a look around.

"Wouldn't Fred and George be a little annoyed at you buying products from their rivals?" Hermione asked.

"Who says we are going to buy anything? I'll just see what I want and then convince the twins to make a similar product," Ron grinned mischievously.

Now it was Hermione's turn to roll her eyes.

"You guys coming in?" Harry asked.

Ginny nodded. Hermione glanced into the shop. She had never seen it look more crowded. She wondered if Harry, Ron and Ginny would even make it through the door.

"You go ahead. I think I'll just look around a bit more."

"Are you sure?"

Hermione nodded. "I'll catch up with you later."

Harry, Ron and Ginny pushed their way into Zonko's, leaving Remus and Hermione standing together in the street.

"I'm just going to have a wander around. Care to join me?"

"I'd love to," Remus replied.

They started walking down the street, saying hello to anyone they recognised. They talked about their Christmas plans and what gifts they had bought for their families and friends. Hermione commented that she hoped Harry and Ron weren't buying her Christmas gift from Zonko's.

Remus laughed. "I don't think you have to worry about that," he said, in a tone of voice that made Hermione wonder if he knew something she didn't.

"You know, when we were younger we would go into Zonko's and buy practically everything on the shelves," Remus remarked casually a few minutes later.

Hermione asked Remus about his Hogwarts days, so he told her about a particularly nasty prank James and Sirius played on their Slytherin classmates that involved red and gold dye, shampoo bottles and laundry detergent.

Remus smiled at the memory. It felt a bit strange to be talking about his friends and a time before everything changed. And although it was still slightly painful to talk about his friends, because it reminded him of the pain, loss and betrayal he had experienced, it felt cleansing to talk about how he remembered James and Sirius. He never talked about his best friends to anyone, not even Harry, the child and godson of the afore mentioned people. But it felt so easy to talk to Hermione and he soon found himself reminiscing out loud about all the stupid things the marauders did when they were young.

Hermione smiled as she listened to Remus's stories. She knew how hard it was for him to talk about 'the old days' and was flattered he trusted her enough and felt comfortable enough with her that he could talk about his old life.

They were now well away from the centre of the town, having walked and talked. Without realising it, they had walked to the Shrieking Shack.

"I miss them," Remus finished softly, coming to a stop at the gate surrounding the property. Hermione smiled sadly at him, knowing there was really nothing she could say.

They stood together for a moment before Remus spotted a nearby rock and went and sat down. Hermione watched him, amazed at this man before her. She sat down beside him and said, "You know, I think you are one of the bravest people I know."

Remus looked at her quizzically. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, you are an only child and you grew up with Sirius and Harry's father, so they were more than just your friends. They were like your family, right?"

Remus nodded. "They were my brothers."

"I feel the same about Harry and Ron. I've grown up with them; they've helped make me who I am. Harry and Ron are my family and I love them with all my heart. I don't know what I'd do if I lost one of them, let alone both of them. But you, you've lost both your brothers and suffered the worst kind of betrayal. And not only are you still standing, you haven't become bitter, or withdrawn. I think you're the strongest person I've ever met."

To say Remus was taken aback would have been an understatement. He was at a loss for words. He looked away from Hermione and stared straight ahead, not wanting her to see the emotions he was sure were shining from his face.

After allowing himself a moment to get composed, he turned back to Hermione. "Thankyou," he said, his voice shaking with suppressed emotion. "You don't know what that means to me."

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Hermione's forehead. Hermione was more than a little surprised by this action but the feeling quickly subsided and was replaced by sheer bliss at this display of affection.

Remus stood and took a few steps forward, stopping at the gate of the Shack. Hermione regarded him for a few minutes before joining him. She looked at the Shack. "I can't believe you live in there. It still looks exactly the same."

Remus grinned. "Well, that's the point, isn't it" he whispered conspiratorially. "It's much different on the inside though. You wouldn't recognise it."

Hermione smiled at him, then quickly realised they had been gone a while. She checked her watch. "We should head back."

Remus nodded and they headed back to Zonko's in a comfortable silence.

*

Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny walked to the Quidditch pitch, debating who should be the successor to the captain's position after Harry left Hogwarts. Ginny said she wouldn't want the responsibility, insisting her fellow beater would make an excellent captain.

Hermione smiled as she listened to her Quidditch-obsessed friends, knowing there was very little she could contribute to their debate.

When they reached the players changing rooms, Hermione bid good luck to her friends and made her way into the empty stands. The game wasn't due to start for over half an hour, so she took a seat, allowing herself a rare moment of quiet and relaxation.

About ten minutes later, Hermione heard a familiar voice ask, "is this seat taken?"

She looked up to see Remus standing beside her. She smiled as she shifted across for him, somewhat unnecessarily, given that the stadium was empty.

"How are you?" Hermione asked, knowing it hadn't been long since the last full moon.

"I'm fine," he replied. "How are you? Did you have a good break?"

Hermione nodded. She, Ron and Harry had remained at Hogwarts over the Christmas break and somehow managed to have the perfect Christmas day together. They ate lots of food, played games, talked and laughed, letting themselves forget for one day that a battle was coming, sooner rather than later.

"We missed you at Christmas dinner. Where were you?" Hermione asked. When Harry had commented on Remus's absence when they sat down to Christmas dinner, Dumbledore was very vague about his whereabouts.

"I was otherwise detained," Remus said casually. Shifting closer to Hermione, he whispered, "Order work."

"Oh," she replied. She wanted to ask for details but knew better; Remus wouldn't tell her anything.

"So," Remus said brightly. "Did Harry and Ron get your Christmas presents from Zonko's?"

Hermione laughed. "No. They actually gave me the best gifts ever."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Ron gave me a framed picture of the three of us. The photo was taken in our second year - we're sitting together on the couch in the common room, laughing together. I honestly have no memory of the photo being taken. That Colin Creevey is damn sneaky! Anyway, it's in a silver frame with our names engraved on it. It's really beautiful."

"Sounds wonderful. And Harry?"

Hermione fiddled with the neckline of her jumper and pulled out a simple, gold necklace. She held it out for Remus to see and he bent closer to have a look. He grasped the pendant hanging from the necklace. A gold lightning bolt. Hermione watched Remus finger the charm, trying not to be distracted by how close they were.

"I think Harry bought me this to remember him by, at least on a subconscious level, should the worst happen. As if I could ever forget him."

Remus released the necklace and Hermione tucked it back under her jumper.

"You think Harry thinks he will lose the battle with Voldemort," he said, more as a statement than a question.

Hermione nodded. "I think he's losing hope. I wish there was a way I could convince him that he will win."

Remus looked at her, a strange expression on his face. "What makes you so sure?"

Hermione met his eyes. "Because I refuse to believe that Harry, Ron and I have fought all these years, only to lose. Because I cannot accept that Sirius and Harry's parents died for no reason. But more than anything, because I have to believe that good will triumph over evil."

Remus stared at Hermione, his feelings for her intensifying by the second. "Harry is really lucky to have you in his life," he said sincerely.

"Thankyou, Remus," Hermione smiled.

"Just give him your love and support. I'm sure in time, Harry will get his faith back."

"I hope so."

Remus and Hermione could hear the noise of the distant crowd, making their way to the Quidditch pitch. They sat together in silence as the noise grew louder, the people got closer.

The seats around them began to fill. Hermione shifted closer to Remus to allow someone next to her enough room.

Remus felt his body tingle as their arms and legs touched. He chanced a quick look at her. She was staring out at the pitch but had a sort of mischievous, knowing smile on her face.

All of a sudden, Remus had a crazy thought. Is it possible she is purposely pressing against me, he wondered. But why would she do that? Unless... unless she has feelings for me? He dismissed the thought almost instantly. No, of course not, that's just wishful thinking on my part, he thought, shaking his head. But now that the idea had entered his head, he found it difficult to get it back out.

The sound of a whistle indicated the start of the game. Hermione cheered as she watched Harry, Ron and Ginny push off the ground. She watched the game as she had watched all of Harry's Quidditch games over the last seven years; afraid to watch in case something bad happened, afraid to turn away in case something good happened.

Though she kept her eyes on the Quidditch pitch and the progress of the game, Hermione was also acutely aware of Remus sitting beside her. She gave no indication that her attention had moved from the game but out of the corner of her eye she saw Remus continually shifting his gaze from the match to her.

Ron stopped the Ravenclaws from scoring, so Hermione, along with Remus and her fellow Gryffindors, clapped and screamed their praise. She turned to Remus and saw something in his eyes that made her freeze. Their eyes locked for a moment before Remus put his guard back up, and the light and honesty Hermione had seen in his eyes was gone.

She turned her attention back to the game, though her mind was racing. Is it really possible, Hermione couldn't help but wonder. Does Remus feel the same way about me as I feel about him?

She had seen something in his eyes that she couldn't ignore. For that moment, as brief as it was, she had an overwhelming feeling that he wanted her. But as the minutes passed, Hermione started to believe that she had just imagined it. It was merely her mind playing tricks on her.

The sound of a whistle signalled the end of the game; Harry had caught the snitch and Gryffindor had won the game. The crowd stood and applauded the teams as they made their way to the change rooms.

Hermione and Remus sat back down, deciding it was easier to wait for the crowd to disperse before making their way back to the castle.

"It really is scary how much Harry looks like James when he plays," Remus remarked.

"Yeah?"

"Makes me feel like I've gone back in time or something," he smiled. "And I know you know how strange that feels."

Hermione laughed. "Definitely."

"It's so disorientating."

"I know. Not an experience you ever get used to."

Remus looked around him. The stands were starting to clear. "I think it's safe to head back without fear of being trampled. Shall we?"

Hermione nodded in reply. Remus gave her a warm smile before standing and heading for the exit. Hermione watched him for a moment before standing and following him, thinking that maybe she wasn't imagining it after all.

*

Remus was sitting at the head of the desk with Hermione sitting to his left. They sat together in silence; Remus grading some papers while Hermione was completing her Defence Against the Dark Arts test from the class that she had missed the day before.

It was getting late. The sun had set and the only light in the room came from the floating candles around them, giving the room a dream-like quality.

"How's it going, Hermione?" Remus asked.

Hermione looked up at him. "Fine. Why?" She grinned. "Are you offering to help me, Remus? Somehow I don't think that's terribly appropriate," she joked with him.

He smiled at her. "No, I wasn't offering to help you. And I think we both know that you don't need my help."

Hermione blushed slightly at this compliment. They looked at each other somewhat longer than was necessary before they each returned to their work.

Hermione continued scratching away at her parchment. When she got to the bottom of the sheet, she moved it in front of her and when she did so, her hand accidentally brushed Remus' lightly. She stopped breathing at this touch, unsure whether she was imagining the electricity she felt. She didn't dare look at him, but if she had, she would have seen that he had stopped breathing too.

Time passed slowly for the pair, the tension in the air growing thicker by the minute.

Nearly an hour later, Hermione finished her test. She shuffled her papers together as Remus looked at her, his eyes sparkling.

"Finished?"

She nodded in reply. He took her parchment and added it to his 'unmarked' stack of papers.

They sat there for a minute, gazing at each other.

"It's late. You should get going," Remus finally broke their silence.

"Are you sure? I could help you mark those papers if you like," Hermione asked, trying to find a reason to stay there with him a bit longer.

"No, that's okay. Go on, off to bed," he said softly, placing his hand on hers. He had only meant it as a simple, friendly gesture, but when his skin touched hers, he felt his whole body tingle, and he couldn't let go.

Hermione's heart was beating at a million miles an hour. Her stomach lurched as she felt Remus caress the back of her hand with his thumb.

Their eyes were locked on each other. Hermione didn't dare look away; she didn't want to scare him into stopping his ministrations on her hand.

"Goodnight Hermione," Remus said huskily, slowly withdrawing his hand, but his eyes never left hers. He stood up and so she stood too.

Hermione smiled slightly. "Goodnight Remus."

Before she knew what she was doing, before she had time to think about it and rationalise her actions, she bridged the gap between them and kissed him. He stiffened slightly in shock before returning her kiss. He lifted his hand to her cheek and stroked it lightly before she covered his hand with her own.

The kiss soon intensified. Hermione locked her arms around his neck while Remus encircled his arms around her waist, placing his hands on the small of her back and drawing her closer to him.

When the need for air finally overwhelmed them, they slowly broke apart. They took a step back from each other, both of them dizzy and disoriented after their kiss.

"We shouldn't have done that," he said hoarsely, but she could tell from the look in his eyes that he didn't regret it and that he was saying this simply because he thought he should.

"Maybe you're right," she replied. But after a brief pause, she added with a grin, "but maybe you're wrong."

Remus smiled at her as he stepped forward, took her hand and gently brushed a soft kiss over her knuckles.

Hermione smiled at this sweet gesture. When he released her hand, she leaned across and kissed his lips once more before turning and walking out of the classroom and back to her bedroom, a smile never leaving her face.

*

Remus watched Hermione walk out of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. When she closed the door behind her, he sank back into his chair.

"Merlin help me," he murmured, running his fingers through his hair.

I can't believe I just kissed Hermione, Remus thought. Okay, yes, if you want to get technical, she kissed me. But I did kiss her back.

Remus didn't know what to think or how to feel. On one hand, he wanted to scream with joy over how it felt to have Hermione in his arms, to kiss her the way he had wanted to kiss her for months. But on the other hand, he wanted to run, far away and as fast as he could.

There were far too many implications of going down this road, practically all of them negative. That one kiss could throw both of their lives off course, for all the wrong reasons.

Hermione has her whole life ahead of her. I will not do anything to jeopardise that or hold her back in any way, Remus thought miserably.

He made up his mind. The kiss they had shared, as amazing as it was, could never be repeated. It couldn't happen again.

Remus's heart screamed. His heart and soul, the part of him that usually spoke in Sirius's voice, argued that Hermione made him happy and that there was nothing wrong with that. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He couldn't just let her go.

But Remus's rational mind had won this argument. He cared for Hermione too much to hurt or endanger her. It was in her best interest to put a stop to any possible romantic future they had.

He was doing this for her.

Remus stared at the door Hermione had just exited through. Though it broke his heart, he knew, he had to let her go.

*

Hermione closed the hangings around her bed, unable to stop herself from grinning.

I can't believe I just did that, she thought as she climbed under the covers. I can't believe I just kissed Remus Lupin.

Her body trembled as she remembered the feel of his lips against her own. The few kisses she had shared with Viktor felt nothing like her kiss with Remus. When she and Viktor kissed, it was nice, but nothing special. But with Remus ... it was perfect. Her entire being tingled and she felt like her whole life was leading up to this point. The world around her faded and all that mattered was Remus's hands on her back, his lips brushing against her own.

Hermione briefly wondered what tomorrow would bring, what this meant for her and Remus. She had a sudden mental image of the two of them sneaking around the castle together, sharing quick kisses when no one was around.

The smile she had at this thought quickly turned into a frown. There was always the other possibility. He could tell her it was a mistake. He could say that he didn't have feelings for her and that she was no more than a student to him.

Hermione banished the thought. She would drive herself crazy thinking of all the different possibilities of what was in store for her and Remus. So, for the moment, she concentrated on how it felt to be in his arms.

*

"I want you to read and summarise this chapter to be handed in tomorrow. Now make sure you really take this information in, you may need to remember it in a few months," Remus hinted.

The seventh years suddenly looked more attentive, picking up on the hint their professor had given.

"Class dismissed. Have a good night."

The Defence Against the Dark Arts students began packing up their books. Remus took a few steps to where Hermione, Ron and Harry were sitting. "Hermione, can I speak with you a minute?"

"Of course." She turned to Harry and Ron. "I'll meet you back in the common room."

"Okay," Harry said, bundling his books in his arms. "Bye Remus."

"Bye Harry, Ron."

Hermione and Remus watched the two boys exit the classroom. When they were alone, they turned their attention to one another. Remus immediately noticed their close proximity so took a few steps back, saying, "We have to talk about what happened."

Watching Remus back away from her, Hermione knew this conversation wouldn't end well. "Okay," she said, calmly sitting back down at her desk.

Remus looked around him for a moment, then walked around the desk and sat down in Ron's seat, leaving Harry's seat empty between them. He sighed, unsure where to begin, his pre-prepared speech dissipating from his mind.

"You know that I care for you a great deal. I have absolutely no hesitation in saying you are one of my favourite people. But what happened last night ... it can't happen again."

"Why can't it happen again?" Hermione asked calmly. She had a sudden flashback to that night, all those years ago, in the Shrieking Shack. Only this time, she was the one asking simple questions while Remus figured things out.

"You know why Hermione. In fact, there are far too many reasons to list why."

"Is one of those reasons because you don't feel that way about me?"

Remus looked away. How was it she knew the exact question he didn't want her to ask? He turned back to her expecting face. "Yes," he lied, speaking in what he hoped was a neutral tone. But seeing her face falter, he added in a gentle, quiet voice, "No."

Hermione looked at him, confused.

"I don't know," Remus finished weakly.

Hermione could almost see the internal struggle going on within Remus. She knew he didn't want to admit the feelings she suspected he had, but nor did he want to lie, which left him very few options.

"None of that matters. The point is, you and I can only be friends. If you're willing, of course."

"None of that matters?" Hermione repeated rhetorically. Their feelings for each other didn't matter? She looked at him intently, trying to ascertain the truth behind his words.

Remus turned away from her intense gaze.

Hermione sighed. She knew there was nothing she could do. Remus was doing what he thought was right, was honourable. She knew there would be no changing his mind.

"Okay," Hermione said, more brightly than she felt. Remus turned back to her. "Friends," she said, holding out her hand to him.

He accepted it and they grasped hands for a moment, staring at each other. Hermione let go, then packed up her books and wordlessly left the classroom.

Remus watched her go, not feeling half as relieved as he thought he should have.

*