Rating:
PG-13
House:
The Dark Arts
Characters:
Harry Potter Hermione Granger Ron Weasley
Genres:
Drama Angst
Era:
The Harry Potter at Hogwarts Years
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 11/05/2004
Updated: 11/05/2004
Words: 4,808
Chapters: 1
Hits: 990

Cut and Run

TattooedSiren

Story Summary:
When Ron and Hermione can't find Harry, they quickly deduce that he has run away. Will they be able to find him? If they do, can they convince him to come back home with them?

Posted:
11/05/2004
Hits:
990
Author's Note:
As always, a big thankyou to Cronje for beta-ing. This fic is dedicated to everyone who reviewed Three (see post fic author notes).


Cut and Run

Hermione looked up from her book as Ron sat down opposite her. She was in the deserted library and had heard someone approaching but waited until they came to her before glancing up from her book.

When she saw the look on his face, she inhaled sharply.

"He's gone, hasn't he?" she asked.

Ron couldn't meet her eyes as he nodded slowly. Hermione closed her book and took some deep breaths, hoping that would help to hold back the tears she felt forming in her eyes.

"How long?"

"I don't know. Not long. The last I saw of him was when he left the Hall during breakfast." Ron paused. Maybe he was just being over-dramatic. "I'm not even sure he's gone. I mean, I've looked everywhere I can think of for him but it's possible he's somewhere I haven't looked."

"Come on," Hermione said, standing and stacking the books that lay on her table. "Let's go find out."

Hermione and Ron walked around the castle and grounds of the school, looking for Harry. After a few hours, they gave up and headed back to the Gryffindor common room. Ron headed straight to the room he shared with Harry, while Hermione detoured to her bedroom before joining Ron where he was standing in their bedroom doorway. In her hands she had a piece of parchment, a quill and a book.

Hermione headed straight to Harry's bed. "I thought this day might come. So I did some research to see if I could find any spells that could help to locate him. This is the best one I have found so far."

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this?"

Hermione stopped arranging everything on Harry's bed and looked at Ron. "Because I hoped I would never have to use it."

Ron crossed the room and joined Hermione by Harry's bed. She had placed the parchment and quill at the centre of Harry's bed. She had her book opened to the appropriate page and was reading through it. "What can I do to help?" he asked.

"We need something personal of Harry's."

They both started looking around the room, on top of Harry's drawers, under his bed to find something useful.

"Hermione," Ron breathed, barely audible due to the fact he was crouched on the other side of Harry's bed.

"What is it Ron?" she asked, walking around to look at whatever it was he had discovered. He pulled out the small wastepaper basket from under Harry's bed so she could see it clearly.

Hermione gasped as she knelt down next to Ron. In the top of the bin were several tissues. There were thin lines of blood covering them. Harry's blood.

"What happened?" Ron asked, almost to himself.

Hermione just stared at them, her expression betraying nothing. "I think I know."

Ron turned to her, surprise clearly etched on his face. He raised his eyebrow at her. She turned to him and merely shook her head. "Later."

She picked up one of the tissues and looked at it closely. The blood was still fresh. She stood and placed it just below the parchment on Harry's bed. "Nothing is more personal to someone than their own blood."

Hermione gently pushed Ron a few steps back and then climbed onto Harry's bed, sitting cross-legged with the bloodied tissue, parchment and quill layed out before her.

She closed her eyes and started whispering the spell, so softly Ron couldn't make out the words. Then, the quill moved of its own accord and started writing words on the parchment. Ron moved closer so he could see what they wrote.

The quill lay back down and Hermione opened her eyes and looked down to the parchment. There were two words, written in the centre of the page, one after the other.

'No. Yes.'

"Hermione, what does this mean?"

"First I asked if Harry was on the Hogwarts grounds," she said, indicating to the answer, the first word on the page. "Then I asked if he left of his own free will," she pointed to the second word. Hermione looked up at Ron. "He's run away."

*

Ron was pacing. "No, absolutely not. At least let me go with you."

"Ron, we can't both go. One of us has to stay and cover for the other two. If anyone figures out that all three of us are missing, which they will, can you imagine the panic that will cause? And we can't tell any of the teachers. They'll insist on keeping us out of everything."

Hermione walked over to stand in front of Ron, effectively stopping his pacing. She placed her hand gently on his arm. "I can find him Ron, I know it. And I think it would be better if when one of us finds him we aren't both there. Harry is clearly in an emotional state and if we both track him down he might feel like he's being ambushed."

Ron knew she was right. Harry was clearly not thinking and so might act irrationally if he and Hermione came bursting in on his hiding place. But that still didn't make him feel any better. "I still don't like it."

"I know. But this is the only way. I think I know where he might be but if he isn't there and I can't find him today, then it will be your turn to go out looking tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay."

Ron and Hermione hugged each other tightly.

"Be careful."

"I will."

"And don't worry about anyone here. I've got your back."

Hermione smiled into his shoulder. "I know."

~*~

Harry sat in the dark cave. He knew he shouldn't have run like that. But he just couldn't take it anymore.

He had so many thoughts and feelings coursing through his body he feared he might explode. He didn't know how to handle this.

He missed Sirius. He was angry with himself for causing his godfathers death. He was scared for the safety of his friends. He was anxious about the upcoming war. He was fearful of the prophecy.

And then it happened. That morning he received an owl from an anonymous wizard, though Harry had a fairly good idea who it was from.

There was a photo of his parents, Sirius and Remus Lupin. They were laughing and talking amongst themselves, seemingly unaware their picture was even being taken.

Harry noticed how happy and comfortable they all looked. They were clearly very tactile people; Sirius kissed Lily on her cheek, James clapped Remus on the shoulder, Lily and James kissed, Sirius and Remus hugged. Harry couldn't tell when the picture was taken, though he guessed it wouldn't have been more than a few years after they left Hogwarts.

Then there was another picture. It was of himself with Ron and Hermione. They were together in the Hogwarts grounds, playing in the snow. Harry and Ron threw snowballs at Hermione's back. She turned, and with a smile on her face, ran and crashed into them. The three of them fell into the snow, laughing heartedly.

Harry remembered this day. It was when they were in their third year. But he wasn't aware of anyone taking a picture of them.

Finally, along with the two pictures was a piece of parchment with one sentence written on it.

Is history to repeat itself?

Harry knew the message they were sending. Will you and your friends be killed like your parents and their friend was killed. You are a danger to all those around you, all those that you love.

Harry snapped. He left the Great Hall and went to his room. A million thoughts were buzzing around in his head. He wanted to scream, if only to help drown them all out.

But he couldn't scream so he did the next best thing. He ran.

*

Harry was startled by a noise outside the cave entrance. He grabbed his invisibility cloak and covered himself with it. Can't be too careful.

He sat there, straining his ears to see if he could tell what the source of the noise was.

And then he saw her. Hermione stepped into the dim cave, using her wand for additional light.

Harry stopped breathing. Okay, he thought, any minute now she would turn around and leave. And once she was out of sight, he could continue on. He had lingered here too long.

Hermione was walking in his direction. Any minute now she would walk right into him. But there was nothing he could do. Moving would make sound and confirm his presence here. He just hoped she would turn and walk away before she got to him.

"Harry?" she asked. She was walking around like a blind person, holding her hands out, hoping to come into contact with him. "Are you here?"

Harry remained silent. Please let her give in and leave, he pleaded silently. But it was in vain. The moment he had that thought, Hermione walked into his sitting form.

She exhaled with relief. There was nothing in front of her and yet her path was blocked. It had to be Harry.

Hermione crouched down slowly. She reached out until she could feel material, then slowly pulled it away, revealing her best friend.

"Harry," she breathed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he replied curtly. He was leaning against the cave wall, his legs were bent up and he rested his hands on his knees. He was staring straight ahead so Hermione could only see his profile.

"What happened?" she asked softly, placing her wand on the ground beside them.

There was no answer, nor movement from Harry.

"Harry, please look at me," she pleaded, close to tears.

He turned slowly. When their eyes finally met, Hermione wanted to burst out crying. She had never seen him so sad, so resigned. Like all the hope in the world had faded.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently, reaching out and placing her hands on his arm. He flinched and moved his arm out of her grasp. He turned his head away, stared straight ahead, while silently chastising himself for being caught off guard and recoiling from her touch.

"Is that where you did it?"

"Did what?" he replied, feigning innocence.

"Harry, I know what you did to yourself."

Harry turned back to her, his face stoic. "I don't know what you're talking about," he spoke with a detached voice.

"I saw the tissues in your bin, under your bed. I know what you've done. Let me see it."

Harry sighed, turning his head away from her again. Hermione took this as an assent. She reached out to his sleeve slowly, giving him the chance to stop her. Harry knew he had been found out and that any denials would be useless. Hermione was a determined witch and he knew he couldn't keep it from her anymore.

She pulled his sleeve up and gasped audibly at what she saw. It was even worse than she had imagined.

Harry's left arm was covered in cuts. Self inflicted cuts. They were at various angles and were assorted lengths. They were in different stages of healing; some were fresh, bright red cuts, the skin around them still red and raw, while others were almost healed, merely leaving faint, thin, white scars behind. She gingerly turned his arm over and found the cuts continued to his wrist and down is underarm.

"Oh Harry," Hermione whispered. "Why did you do this to yourself?"

He didn't answer, he just rolled his sleeve back down.

Hermione shifted and sat next to Harry, leaning against the cave wall. "Harry, Ron and I are worried about you. We're your friends and we love you. You know you can talk to us about anything." She paused. "Please tell me what happened."

No response.

Okay, Hermione thought, being gentle and caring clearly isn't eliciting any response. Maybe I can annoy him enough that he has no choice but to tell me what happened.

"Is this because of what happened to Sirius?" she questioned. She knew Harry hadn't really dealt with the death of his godfather. He never talked about that day in the Ministry of Magic. In fact, he never talked about Sirius at all. Harry hadn't mentioned his name since that day and whenever someone would ask Harry about Sirius, he either ignored them, changed the subject or walked away.

"Don't," Harry said harshly.

"Don't what?" she asked tersely.

"Don't talk about him."

"Why not?"

"Because," he said, clearly getting annoyed.

"Because why?"

"Because he's dead all right," Harry said angrily, standing up and taking a few steps away from Hermione. "Sirius is dead. He died because of me," Harry shouted.

"No Harry," she replied calmly as she stood up. "He didn't. He died fighting for something he believed in. Sirius loved you and he wanted to help you, keep you safe. What happened wasn't your fault."

"He died because he loved me. My parents died because they loved me. I cannot sit by and watch you and Ron die, just because you love me."

"You think running away is going to stop us from loving you?" Hermione asked incredulously. "You're our best friend! Whether you are by our side or a thousand miles away, that's not going to change. We're still going to love you. I will still love you."

"I won't let you love me. Don't you get it?" Harry yelled as he stalked towards her. "It's because I love you that I'm leaving. I couldn't bear to watch you suffer because of me. You deserve something better."

"Better than what? Better than you? Harry, you are my dearest friend. There is no one better than you."

Harry didn't reply. He took a few steps back and turned away from Hermione, rubbing his neck and breathing unevenly.

They stood in silence for a moment, each of them taking in the words they had both said.

"Harry," Hermione began. He turned to look at her but didn't move. "I know you're in pain, and that you feel like you have the whole world on your shoulders. How could you not feel that way after all that you've been through? But running away isn't the answer."

"Yeah, well, I think it is," he spoke simply, without malice or anger.

"You're wrong," she stated. She walked over to him and took his hands in hers. "We are stronger together than we are apart. You, me and Ron. As long as we're together there's nothing we can't do."

Harry looked into her eyes for a moment before he removed himself from her grasp and walked past her.

Hermione hung her head. She didn't know what else to say to make him understand. She turned and saw him packing up his invisibility cloak and placing it in his backpack. And then she knew. There was nothing she could say. He was leaving.

She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she walked over to him and picked up her wand from the ground. She stood in front of him as he slung the bag over his shoulder.

"Wherever you go, never forget that we love you," she said tearfully. She leaned over and kissed his cheek before turning and walking out of the cave, knowing she wouldn't be able to watch him walk away.

~*~

Ron felt bad for looking through Harry's things, like he was invading his friends' privacy, but he had no choice. He had to find some notes he leant to Harry for his potions class that started in an hour.

When Harry left three days previous, Ron and Hermione went to Dumbledore and McGonagall to let them know what happened. After Dumbledore expressed his disappointment that they went off to find Harry and not gotten help from a teacher, he asked Ron and Hermione to try and act as normal as possible. As far as the student body at Hogwarts was concerned, Harry had to go home unexpectedly due to a family emergency. McGonagall asked Ron and Hermione to help perpetuate this story, while Remus Lupin and a few other trusted wizards set out on a low-key search for Harry. The wizarding world could not be aware that The Boy Who Lived was somewhere, alone, away from the protection of Hogwarts and Dumbledore. If anyone knew, it would only be a matter of time before he was tracked down by Voldemort.

Most of the faculty were going fairly easy on Ron and Hermione since Harry's departure; calling on them less in class and accepting essays half the length that was requested. Snape however, was his usual self, hence the reason why Ron was rifling through Harry's drawers for the notes.

Having established the notes weren't in Harry's bedside table, Ron sat on the floor by Harry's bed and looked underneath it. He saw, among other things, a stack of books with some parchment beside them. That must be it, he thought as he reached out and grabbed the paper.

However, when he opened the folded parchment, two photos fell out.

Ron picked them up. The first picture was of Harry's parents, Sirius and Lupin. Ron smiled as he looked from this photo to the second one. A picture of himself with Hermione and Harry.

His smile faded as he saw the words on the parchment that had enveloped the photos.

Is history to repeat itself?

Ron dropped the photos and parchment, as if burned by them. He raked his hand through his hair as he stared at the photos, at those smiling and happy faces.

This was it. This must have been what Harry received that morning, Ron realised. This is why he ran.

After Hermione had related the story of what happened in Sirius's cave with Harry, Ron went looking for him. But Harry was already long gone. They hadn't seen or heard from him since.

Ron didn't understand at the time what had happened to Harry that had made him want to leave. Hermione and Ron guessed something must have happened to push him. Now he knew what that catalyst was. Ron was staring at it.

~*~

Ron looked across at Hermione. He was worried about her.

It had been a week since Ron discovered the photos under Harry's bed. Ten days since he left. And he was still nowhere to be found. Somehow, despite being the most famous wizard in the world, Harry had managed to disappear.

Hermione and Ron were sitting by the lake. After ten days of Hermione confining herself to her bedroom when she wasn't in class, Ron had finally convinced her to come outside and get some air.

With each successive day since Harry had left, Ron and Hermione had found it more and more difficult to act normal and pretend Harry was merely visiting his family. Professor McGonagall realised this and so let them come to classes only if they felt up to it. It was far better for their fellow students to believe they were off doing a 'special project' then for people to see them in class, increasingly depressed, and work out what had happened. And so Ron and Hermione spent their time together, alone in their dorms, while everyone was in class.

Ron and Hermione were sitting together on a large rock, overlooking the water, while their classmates were inside learning about some old war that happened a thousand years ago.

Hermione shivered. Ron frowned at her as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around her small frame.

She was taking the departure of their friend badly. She always had a distant look in her eyes. She barely slept or ate. Whenever it was time for a meal in the Great Hall, she would mutter to anyone who asked that she was going to the library. Of course, no one questioned her, nor did they notice that she never actually went to the library but back to her room.

As luck would have it, this lie of Hermione's helped to validate their later, much bigger lie of their 'special project.'

Hermione smiled at Ron in thanks and leaned her head onto his shoulder. "Do you think he's okay?" Hermione spoke, breaking their hour-long silence.

"Yes."

"Do you think he'll come back?"

"Absolutely."

Hermione raised her head to look Ron in the eyes. "How can you be so sure?"

Ron put his arm around her. "Because I have to believe it's true."

~*~

"I hate him."

A trace of a smile crossed Ron's face. "No you don't," he said diplomatically.

Hermione paced the boys' bedroom while Ron watched her from his bed.

"Yes I do. How could he leave like that? Bastard!"

It was two weeks since Harry ran from Hogwarts. There was still no word from him, nor had Remus made much progress in his search.

Ron was starting to get used to these swings from Hermione. One minute she would be nervous and upset and miss Harry like crazy and an hour later she would be yelling and cursing him, like she was doing now.

By some miracle the school still had not worked out that Harry had run away. Of course, Ron and Hermione had done their part to help out with that. They even wrote owls to themselves as Harry, to show any inquiring classmates.

"I swear, if he ever comes back, I'm gonna kill him."

Ron laughed out loud at this comment. "No you won't," he said, holding his hand out to Hermione.

She stopped pacing and turned to him, a slight smile on her face. She took his outstretched hand and sat down next to him on the bed. "Yeah, you're right. Doesn't mean he isn't in for a world of pain though."

~*~

Ron and Hermione wandered slowly around the Hogwarts grounds, killing time. Seems all they ever did in the three weeks since Harry's departure was kill time. Waiting for him to return.

After walking for about an hour, they ended up, as they always did, at the lake.

They sat down on their favourite rock. Hermione glanced up at the overcast sky. She knew that it could start raining any minute now and that they should head back inside before it did. But she didn't have the heart to care about getting rained on. All she could care about was the boy sitting beside her and the boy who was out there, somewhere, in the big wide world.

Hermione tried to subtly wipe away the tear that was falling down her cheek, but Ron noticed. He put his arm around her, trying to comfort her. She smiled in thanks but quickly sobered. "I'm scared for him."

"I know," Ron said soothingly, moving his hand over her back in a comforting motion.

"I just want him home."

Ron stared forward, beyond the lake. "Me too," he whispered.

Hermione studied his profile. She could tell he was struggling to hold back his own tears. She knew Ron was missing Harry as much as she was. And that he was holding it together to be strong for her.

As Ron hung his head, she knew it was her turn to try and comfort him. She leaned over and kissed his temple, before resting her hand reassuringly on his leg.

"He'll be back," she whispered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

*

Storm clouds started rolling in. Ron and Hermione knew they should go back inside the castle, but neither felt up to being around their blissfully ignorant classmates.

They had been sitting there for over an hour when they heard it. A familiar voice.

"Shouldn't you two be in class?"

Hermione and Ron turned in disbelief. There, standing just a few metres away, was Harry, a bemused expression on his face.

"Harry?" Hermione breathed, not really believing what she was seeing.

Harry's face brightened as a smile crossed his features. Hermione and Ron grinned in return.

Hermione stood, ran to Harry and pulled him into a fierce hug. They held onto each other with fervour as Hermione smiled in relief. Yes, he was really back.

They released each other slowly. Hermione stood back and watched Ron and Harry embrace each other tightly, while she wiped away her tears of happiness.

Harry and Ron released each other. The three friends stood together for a moment, revelling in the fact they were back together again.

"All right there mate?" Ron asked, clapping his friend on the shoulder.

"Yeah."

Hermione took a better look at Harry. He looked a bit thinner and paler. There were dark circles under his eyes and smudges of dirt here and there. But despite all of that, to her, he had never looked better.

"Where have you been all this time?" Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged noncommittally, as he took his backpack off his shoulder and threw it on the ground. "Here and there."

Hermione raised her eyebrow, mutely asking him to elaborate.

"Does it really matter?"

Hermione felt anger rising inside her. She suddenly remembered all the hurt she wanted to inflict upon him for leaving them. "Yes it matters. You left us Harry! You ran away and we didn't hear from you for three weeks. I think the least you can do is tell us where you were."

Harry sighed. "Okay." He walked over and sat down on the rock. Ron and Hermione shared a quick glance before walking across and sitting down on either side of Harry.

"When I say I was here and there, I mean it. I literally wandered the countryside, not staying anywhere longer than a couple of days."

"Why did you do it?" Ron asked quietly, almost to himself. Harry and Hermione turned to him and it was then that Ron realised he had spoken out loud. Ron met Harry's eyes. "Why did you leave?"

"Because I didn't want to put you in danger. I felt guilty about Sirius and I don't want the same thing to happen to you. Being in my life puts you in danger." Harry stood, taking a few steps away before turning to face his friends. "On the morning I left, I received an owl-"

"We know," Ron interrupted him. Harry looked at him quizzically. "I was looking for some notes I leant you and I found it - the photos and the parchment."

Harry nodded slowly. "It was a warning. They were trying to tell me that you were in danger, simply for being my friend. I knew the only thing I could do to help you was to leave you. That's why I ran."

"So if that's really true, why did you come back?" Hermione asked.

Harry walked over and knelt before his two best friends, taking their hands in his. "Because I'm a bad person."

Hermione and Ron were confused, and it showed.

"Because I'm selfish," Harry continued. "I missed you, both of you, and I wanted to be by your side again.

"Evil times are coming. Bad things are going to happen. Both of you are in danger, and the sole reason for this is because you are my friend. But I can't do this without you. I can't be me without you."

Hermione reached over and wiped away a tear Harry didn't even realise he'd cried.

"Harry, I want you to promise something to Ron and I, right here and now. Promise us, you will never, never do anything like this ever again."

Harry looked at his two friends. Both of them were, like himself, on the verge of tears.

"I promise," he said sincerely.

"Let's make a pact, right here and now," Ron said, standing up. Harry and Hermione joined him so the three were standing in a circle. "It will be the three of us forever. We will always be best friends. No matter what happens, we will never leave each other."

Ron put his hand out. Harry placed his hand over Ron's. Hermione added her hand. "It's a deal."

The three friends smiled, then embraced in a three-person hug.

The sky above them finally opened up and started raining on their joined forms, the rain droplets mingling with their tears. But they didn't care. They were back together and they always would be. What was a little rain?

Hermione kissed both of her boys on the cheek, never so happy to have them both in her arms. The trio rested their foreheads together, never wanting to part.

When they were soaked through to the bone, they released each other.

"Come on," Ron said. "We should head back in." He went over and picked up Harry's backpack for him.

And so the three best friends headed back to the castle as the rain poured down on them, their arms around each other.


Author notes: So there you go. Did you love it? Hate it? Please review and let me know. I am a review junkie - please don't leave me hanging too long for my next fix! :o)

I have to say "thankyou, thankyou, thankyou" to the following people for reviewing 'Three' - the first HP fic I posted. Your comments warmed my heart and made me smile.
So thanks to: Apollo87, Aster10, aya hineshi, BlownAway56, blueamber, CJ6234, Claris183, CopperBeech, CrackHead, Currer, danfan, Dean's Darling, EphyreTheLoser, ElvinPrincess5, flashgordon, Grey, ice crystal, Inwitari, LadyLavender, littlesparrow0333, LucyD, lynntownsend, maewen, Maria1314, Morvidra, Quinny, RiddleTatu, Silvipotter, timeturner, Warriorlily, X Faerie Dust X, xingou.
[Apologies for any spelling mistakes or if I forgot anyone - feel free to owl me with abuse :o) ]