The Curse of the Giggling Goblin

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-Lupin-

Remus ascended the ladder into the old Divination classroom, where Trelawney stood proudly at the front of the class. He winced as she made Harry sit with Snape, knowing that nothing good could come out of that arrangement. He took a seat next to Dean, and followed Trelawney's instructions with the teacups.

Remus looked through the textbook. He had never had much patience for Divination, and could have gone to Arithmancy with Hermione and Minerva, but decided instead to stay with Harry and Ron. "Well, Dean, it appears you're going to be heartbroken, but something good will come out of it," he said, squinting at the clump of soggy leaves.

Dean looked worried. "That can't be good..."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Remus replied nonchalantly. "This is the same textbook I used in school, it told me I was going to be barbecued by a troll. Total rubbish, I wouldn't put much faith in it."

Dean laughed. "You're right. I'm starting to miss Firenze's class, this is just ridiculous. The poor guy is staying with Hagrid, I don't think he's quite happy with being a kid-- I mean, foal-- again."

A sudden snort of laughter erupted from Harry and Snape's table, and Remus looked up. Harry was laughing at something Snape had said, and Trelawney was standing over them with a disapproving frown. Remus blinked, befuddled at the sheer impossibility of Snape saying something humorous. He made a mental note to ask Harry about it later.

After class, he and Ron waited for Harry, who had been detained along with Snape by Trelawney. The two of them emerged from the room, both looking sulky. "What was that all about?" Remus asked as Snape stormed away.

Harry rolled his eyes. "The usual rubbish. She said we don't take Divination seriously, we're clouding our Inner Eye, and so on. It was pretty funny to see her yell at Snape, though. You won't believe what he said to her...told her just where she could stick her bloody tea leaves."

Ron snorted. "No way! What did she say about that?"

"She said she would speak to Dumbledore. That shut him up pretty quick."

"What have we got next?" Remus asked suddenly, seeing Hermione and Minerva coming towards them.

"Potions," Harry replied with a smirk. "Today just isn't Snape's day, is it?"

* * *

"Nice work, Hermione! You sure showed him!" Remus told her, laughing.

"Yeah, that was brilliant!" Ron added. "I've never seen Snape look so mad, except for when Fred called him 'Old Snapey'. He looked ready to murder someone."

Hermione's cheeks turned pink. "Well, normally I wouldn't dare, but he was being so foul. I'm surprised he hasn't sent the Slytherins after me yet."

Harry shrugged. "At breakfast he sat by himself, and he hasn't been hanging around with any of the Slytherins."

Ron rolled his eyes with a snort. "They probably can't be bothered to hang out with someone who can't dock points or scare the firsties. Malfoy and his goons like to have someone powerful on their side, so a scrawny little git like him is useless."

Remus nodded, remembering how unpopular Snape had been in his school days, and it seemed as though nothing had changed. For a split-second he pitied Snape, but as he was rudely shoved out of the way by the tall, greasy-haired young man, he changed his mind and decided that Snape deserved what he got.

Before heading to the hall for supper, Remus stopped at the boys' washroom. As he opened the door he heard a clatter, and looked up to see Snape glaring at him. Severus hurried past him with a sour look on his face, which made Remus wonder what he had been up to. There was a comb and a bottle of hair potion on the floor next to the sink, and Remus guessed that he had been trying to fix his hair. Snape hasn't been this jumpy since our school days, he thought.

Remus followed Snape out of the washroom, keeping a safe distance. The dark-haired boy disappeared into the library, and Remus paused, wondering whether or not to pursue him. His stomach growled, and he shrugged, knowing that he was the last person in the world that Snape would want to speak to.

At dinner, Remus watched as Dumbledore strolled between the tables, speaking to the young professors. As Albus sat down beside Minerva, he couldn't help noticing as her face turned the colour of a well-ripened tomato. He made a mental note to tease her about it later, and shovelled more potatoes into his mouth.

"Hey Harry, want to go do a bit of flying later?" Remus asked. "I've been itching to get outside all day."

"Sorry, I've got detention," Harry replied grumpily.

"What did you do this time?" Remus teased. "You seem to get into trouble an awful lot. I'm so proud of you!"

"It's not my fault this time, it's Snape's. If he had just kept his bloody mouth shut I wouldn't be stuck with him and Trelawney tonight."

Ron laughed. "I hate to say this, Harry, but you and Snape actually have something in common. He goes berserk nearly as much as you do."

Harry punched him in the arm. "Funny, Ron. Did you spend all day thinking of that one, or were you too busy snogging Hermione?"

Remus gasped in mock amazement as Ron's ears turned crimson. "Well, that explains why you were late for class..." he snickered, glancing over at Hermione. Thankfully, she had not heard them. Ron had suddenly gone very quiet and tried to look deeply engrossed in his raisin pudding.

"I knew it!" Harry gloated, clapping Ron on the back. "Don't be shy, Ron, I think it's brilliant. I saw it coming a mile away, but still..."

"We weren't going to tell you," Ron muttered. "Weren't sure how you'd take it." He smiled at Harry.

"Tell you what, Ron," Remus interrupted. "Since Harry has a date with Sybil and Snapey, why don't we go practice a bit? I'm not a very good flier, maybe you could teach me a thing or two."

"Sure," Ron replied with a nod, glad for a change of topic.

-Later that evening-

"Over here!" Ron called, and Remus soared upwards on his broomstick.

"You're too fast, Ron, I can hardly keep up!" Remus replied, swerving at the last minute to avoid hitting one of the goal posts.

"This is nothing! What's the matter, tired already?" Ron laughed, hovering in midair.

"You wish! Come on, a few more laps and then we'll go meet Harry. I'm sure he's having a lovely time with Snape!"

After a while, both of them were getting tired, and they walked back to the dormitory. "Hey, I just remembered there's a Quidditch match this Thursday, it's us versus Slytherin again," Ron told him.

"It might be cancelled, though. We don't want to attract a lot of attention to the school, especially with Dumbledore in the state that he is. It's too risky."

"Yeah, I noticed all the substitutes were members of the Order. Plus, the owls aren't allowed to leave the grounds in case their letters are intercepted."

"Exactly. I could really go for a good Quidditch game, though. I'll talk to Dumbledore and see what he says, maybe we can make some arrangements."

"Great!" Ron exclaimed as they found Harry sitting in the common room. "Hey Harry, ready for the game on Thursday?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Yeah, I can't wait," Harry replied absentmindedly.

"Bad detention, mate?" Ron asked.

"She didn't predict your premature and gruesome death again, did she?" Remus added with a snicker.

"No...but Snape's gone off the deep end. He's got some serious issues, someone should go talk to him before he snaps." Harry looked up at Lupin expectantly.

"Oh no, I'm not getting involved. What happened, anyway?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," Harry replied quietly. "Something's got to be done though, he's pretty messed up."

"Since when do you care about Snape?" Ron inquired.

"If you had been there, you'd be worried too, Ron."

Lupin shrugged. "I'll see what I can do, but I doubt he's going to want to talk to me."

-Severus-

"I want you two to wash out these teapots, then polish my crystal balls," Trelawney instructed curtly. Severus raised an eyebrow as Harry bit his tongue to avoid laughing. "Is something funny, Mr. Potter?"

"Erm...no, Professor," Harry replied, slapping a hand over his mouth. Trelawney turned away from them, and Severus narrowed his eyes at Potter.

"What is wrong with you?" he hissed, picking up a rag.

"She said...oh, forget it," Harry replied, rolling his eyes.

Severus scowled at him while scrubbing a teapot. "This is all your fault, Potter," he growled, glancing over at Trelawney.

"My fault? You're the one who told her to shove her tea leaves up her-"

"Is there a problem, gentlemen?" Trelawney called, looking up from her book.

"No," Severus and Harry replied in unison. They worked in silence for a while until the teapots were clean, then moved on to the shelves of crystal balls. Severus stared at the swirling fog inside the spheres, and absentmindedly reached for one. His hand slipped, knocking several of the globes to the floor. Two of them smashed instantly, and the others rolled across the room.

Trelawney shrieked, jumping up from her chair. "What have you done? Do you have any idea how expensive those are? These crystal balls are over one hundred years old, how could you be so clumsy?" she shouted as Severus backed against the wall. He felt trapped, reminded of his parents yelling at him, and ran for the exit. Frantically, he climbed down the ladder and ran through the hall into the boys' washroom, slumping onto the floor as he tried to collect himself.

"What the hell was that?" he muttered to himself, running a hand through his greasy hair. Up until that moment, he had forgotten how much it bothered him to be shouted at, but he had assumed he had gotten over it years before.

Moments later, Harry came bursting through the door. "Get out!" Severus screamed, burying his face in his robes. "Leave me the hell alone!"

Harry stared at him in shock, then slowly backed out of the room. Snape leaned back against the wall, cursing himself for being so stupid. He stayed in the washroom for a while, then slowly got to his feet and began the long climb to the roof of the castle. Up there was the spot where he often came to think and reflect, on days when things seemed unbearable.

As he approached the small balcony next to a stone gargoyle, he saw someone else sitting in his spot: someone with messy dark hair and glasses. "Potter! What are you doing here?" he snapped, and Harry whirled around.

"What are you doing here? This is my spot, I come here to think."

"Your spot? I've been coming up here since I was eleven."

Harry stared at him. "Well, I've never seen you up here before."

"Maybe we just happen to mope on different days," Severus replied sarcastically.

Harry sighed. "Fine, I'll leave. You don't have to be such a prat about it, though. A simple 'please' would have been nice."

"Alright. Please leave, Potter," Snape muttered, sitting down. Harry disappeared into the tower, and Severus found himself alone. He stared up at the sky, trying to calm down. At first he was angry, feeling deprived of his privacy and annoyed with Potter beyond words. He was irritated by the fact that no one seemed to be taking him or the other professors seriously, and went over his mental list of who would be receiving detention once the week was over. Still, he was curious to know why Harry had followed him.

An hour later, Severus was on his way back to the Slytherin dormitory. As he entered, he ran into Draco Malfoy, who was flanked by Crabbe and Goyle. "Professor," Draco said with a nod, and they headed for the door.

"Where do you think you're going, Malfoy?" Snape asked, folding his arms. Crabbe shuffled his feet nervously, but Draco maintained his cool visage.

"Personal business. We won't be long."

"I don't think so. Spell or not, I am still your head of house, and therefore you'd better turn around right now or suffer the consequences."

Draco laughed derisively. "Are you threatening me? Sorry, sir, but as a prefect I have every right to be in the halls past curfew."

Snape's beetle-black eyes narrowed. "Not if you're causing trouble."

"We were just going to make a few...adjustments to the Gryffindor team's broomsticks, what do you care? Do you want Slytherin to lose?"

"No, but if you lay one finger on those brooms you'll be a disgrace to the house of Slytherin, no better than a sneak and a cheater."

Draco moved closer to stare him down. "Are you going to stop me? I'd like to see you try."

Snape scoffed at him. "If you leave this dormitory I will forfeit the match on Thursday, and team Slytherin will be banned from Quidditch for the remainder of the month. Don't think I wouldn't do it. I will not sit back and allow such a blatant disregard for the rules."

"Well, that's funny, since you've always allowed it before," Malfoy retorted sarcastically.

"I was not aware this was going on. How many games have you cheated your way through, Draco?" Severus asked, drawing himself up to his full height. "Answer me."

"We haven't been keeping count! Maybe if we had a decent coach we wouldn't need to rig the game," he spat, and Snape's eyes lit up with fury.

"Are you questioning my coaching methods?" he snarled, grabbing Malfoy by the collar. "Because if I remember correctly, Draco, Slytherin's losing streak began the day you joined the team!" He released Malfoy from his grip, and the young man backed away with a sour expression on his face as Severus stormed off to his dormitory.

He slumped onto his bed, punching the wall as he remembered what Dumbledore had said. "'Treat this like a vacation, Severus,' he says," Snape muttered bitterly, "what a load of nonsense." He looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table, wondering if he could risk leaving to take a walk. It was nearly eleven o'clock, so he decided to stay in the dormitory, which was beginning to seem rather miserable and cold.