You Live, You Fail, You Die

Thickhead vs. Dumbledore

Draco knew there was somebody else he had to talk to. Not that he was thrilled about that.

"Mr Malfoy?" Madam Pomfrey's glance was a surprised one.

"I have to talk to Miss Weasley."

Poppy's eyebrows almost touched her hairline.

"She is sleeping," she answered shortly.

"It's urgent."

"So?" Her voice was frosty. "She isn't feeling very well. Come again tomorrow, if you have to."

"Madam Pomfrey, with all due respect, I know she isn't sleeping. And I want to prevent further ... accidents."

Her hand was drumming on her desk.

"What do you know about that?"

"A lot more than I want to," Draco answered sullenly. "And I don't want an attack of the whole Weasley family on me, thank you very much. What about my request?"

Madam Pomfrey was still sceptic.

"Five minutes. And if she don't want to talk with you, I will remove you personally, with a Petrificus Totalus if necessary, clear?"

"Crystal."

***

Ginny wasn't sleeping, as he had suspected. She turned her head abruptly as he entered the room.

"Malfoy," she said icily. "What do you want?"

He ignored her aggressive voice.

"To talk to you."

"There is nothing to talk about."

"Right, and my name is Prince Charming. I know exactly what is going on in that head of yours, Weasley, and I advise you strongly to forget it very fast. McKinley will leave you alone in the future."

Her eyes were blazing now.

"He will pay for it, understood?" she hissed. "I don't need a Malfoy to sort my priorities out!"

He grabbed her shoulder, harder than he had intended to.

"Listen, Weasley, he will leave you alone," he hissed back. "If you continue your silly little revenge, I can guarantee nothing. McKinley isn't to be played around with, I know him better than you!"

He was leaning very close over Ginny.

The Gryffindor was in such a rage, that she raised her hand without thinking and it landed with a hard smack on Draco's face.

Draco hadn't seen that, and due to the power of the blow, he staggered back, lost his balance and knocked his head against the wall. Like it had been a trigger, the pain in his body reached a new state of agony. He slid inelegantly down the wall and gasped desperately for air. It hadn't been easy before, but this was simply unbearable.

Ginny watched him with a wide open mouth.

"Malfoy? What is going on with you?"

From the other side, Madam Pomfrey bursted in the room.

"What ... Merlin's beard! What happened, Miss Weasley?"

Ginny just shook her head, shocked.

"I ... we ... we had an argument," she stammered. "He is ... he had ..."

Draco wasn't listening; he was still trying to get some air into his lungs.

Pomfrey raised her wand and murmured something, and he lost consciousness.

***

He was moaning softly as he awakened. The horribly pain was still raging through his body, it was like a demon ripping his guts into shreds. He opened his eyes a little bit and slammed them shut again. The sunlight in the room just made it worse.

Some voices were in the background, and he tried to shut them out, but wasn't able to.

"I hit him in the face," said Ginny's voice. She sounded guilty.

"Did he provoke you?" That was McGonagall.

Ginny didn't answer.

"I think he woke up," said Pomfrey a little while later.

"Mr Malfoy?" Dumbledore - not him again!

Draco lifted himself up a little, trying to open his eyes again. The light was still too penetrative.

"What happened?" he muttered.

"We would gladly appreciate that answer from you."

"I can't remember." This came out promptly and self-confidently, but he didn't felt like that in any case.

"I am sorry, Mr Malfoy, but I do not believe you. Why do you stubbornly insist on keeping what happened to you a secret?" Even Dumbledore's voice seemed a little sharp.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

It would be better to tattoo that sentence on my forehead.

"And I think that you know exactly what I mean."

"No."

"Rubbish," he heard Ginny muttering some distance away.

"You do not leave me a choice, Draco. Under these circumstances, I am unable to let you continue teaching, you must be aware of that."

"Why?" Draco brought himself up, flinching visibly. "I don't understand the whole flap in the least! If I am a potential danger," he emphasized that, "why wasn't anybody harmed? I mean, except myself, but this is my business. Only mine, you understand?"

"The Order disagrees with you," Minerva McGonagall answered heatedly, but when Dumbledore winked, she silenced.

"Please leave us alone for a moment. Poppy, Minerva, Miss Weasley?"

Pomfrey snorted. McGonagall was murmuring something, but both of them vanished. Ginny followed them, but she involuntary looked over her shoulder, and her glance met Draco's. Her eyes were huge and questioning. Draco made an effort to stare coldly back, but had the growing suspicion he didn't manage all too well.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore looked out of the window.

"Will there be an end to this?" he asked calmly, after Ginny had closed the door.

"I'm close to a solution." Draco wasn't up to saying more, his tone made that very it clear.

The older man shook his head doubtfully.

"It is your decision to be sure, but maybe I should emphasize my words: if something like today happens again - in public, in front of students or even the other teachers - I will be forced to release you. And I would really appreciate it if you would not conceal it."

Draco kept stubbornly silent.

"As Minerva said, you will have huge problems with the Order when the incident today becomes public. Which brings me on another issue, what happened between you and Miss Weasley? I cannot believe the ´accident´ she told us of."

"Who am I to tell you if she herself doesn't want to?"

"To be a teacher does not mean only to bring them the subject matter. You also carry responsibility for them."

"Oh right, I saw that every day on Severus."

I'm nuts. First I stand on Weasley's side, and now I'm criticising Snape. What the hell is happening with me?

Dumbledore for sure hadn't overheard the jibe, but he decided to skip it.

"Professor McGonagall just informed me that she talked with you, and I have to agree with her. You do a good job as a teacher, but you try too much to act alone. This is just another incident to prove it."

"May I go now?" Draco had had enough.

"Sure. But please consider my words."

***

Draco was angry with Ginny, but first with himself. Couldn't that have happened in his rooms at least? He would have been spared Dumbledore's lecture, and if there was one thing he hated, it was people pointing his faults out, and on top of that, to be entitled to.

It was high time to finish that damn potion. But an ingredient was still missing, a plant which was growing in very few regions. Unfortunately England was not one of those regions, and Borgin who had overtaken the procurement wasn't able to tell him a fixed date. It could take one or two months.

And that was definitely too long.

Someone knocked on the door.

"In!" Inwardly, he groaned. Please, not McGonagall again!

"May I come in?" Weasley.

"If it's absolutely necessary." Draco wasn't too thrilled to see her.

"I wanted to apologize." This time it was Ginny who ignored his abrasive tone. "And to thank you."

"What for?" He felt obviously uncomfortable.

"Because you didn't tell Professor McGonagall and the Headmaster what really happened."

"Who said I didn't?"

Ginny snorted.

"Okay, let's just say I had a feeling. By the way, I will accept your suggestion despite the fact that I don't like it in any way. I mean the McKinley affair."

"So much the better," he answered shortly. "Anything else?"

"About what happened in the hospital wing ...." She looked him straight in the eyes, but Draco didn't play along.

"Not your business. And do me a favour now and leave me alone. I have work to do."

Ginny rolled her eyes, but she left the room without another word.

***

The next morning in Potions, it was obvious McKinley was sticking to the bargain. He didn't even so much as look at Ginny but looked straight through her, when she accidentally crossed his path. Even the other Slytherins stayed more calm than usual.

Ginny, on the other hand, was keeping her promise too, and the other Gryffindors hadn't been told the truth, either. The black and blue marks on her neck had vanished, thanks to Madam Pomfrey and she acted like nothing had happened. But Draco knew it was hard for her, especially since she normally had a temperament similar to his own.

The lesson was astonishingly quiet, obviously McKinley had warned the others to be careful in the presence of Draco Malfoy.

This was exactly what Draco needed, a few times he was barely able to stand because of the pain. Since yesterday it had become even worse. But he knew that Dumbledore would fire him if he showed any sign of discomfort, and he simply couldn't afford that at the moment.

During lunch, something happened which raised his mood visibly. A thin envelope, sent by Borgin came over by owl, brought over by an owl who had seen better days.

Finally!

A suprising result

A surprising result

Draco was staring at the small flask standing in front of him. The Extinguere serum - he called it that secretly - was finished. But despite everything, he still hesitated to take it. He had turned into dangerous terrain, and he knew it all too well. He would be addicted to that potion in the future, willing or no.

He wasn't at Hogwarts but in London. The apartment hadn't been used for a long time now, but he had ordered some house-elves to tidy up earlier, so it wasn't too uncomfortable. If his calculations were correct he wouldn't be able to move a single muscle in the following 24-hours, and he couldn't risk somebody in Hogwarts seeing him. He had the whole weekend, and nobody would miss him.

He tiredly pushed a strand of his hair behind his ear. The last months had fed visibly on his strength. Four weeks had passed after the last confrontation with Dumbledore. It had taken so long to finish the potion. Now it was the beginning of December.

Snape's condition had improved over the weeks, and he would be ready to take over his post in the next school year.

He didn't know if he was really glad about that. On one hand, it sure would be relieving to leave all this behind him, but on the other ... what to do afterwards? In Hogwarts he had a task, even if it was sometimes an annoying one. And sitting alone in an empty apartment wasn't something he was eager for.

Really, probably a life as Lucius Malfoy's son would have been easier. Oh, yeah, who are you kidding, Draco? Slaughtering people or sitting in Azkaban would have been very charming.

"Oh shut it," he muttered, and his inner voice silenced. Again, he turned to the flask in his hands.

He had never been so aware of the fact that he was alone. The thought would have made him laugh at school, but now he couldn't find anything about that fact laughable. He wasn't Snape who preferred to ignore people around him, living just for his potions.

He thought regretfully about Pansy. The youngest Parkinson daughter had been killed in the war against Voldemort. Against all rumors they had spread so carefully, they never had been a couple. Pansy just had been the closest friend he ever had, and they had understood each other even without many words. Her death had been more painful than everything else he had experienced before - except the Flamma of course.

Crabbe was dead, too, and Goyle - hopeless. His father sat in Azkaban, and he would have risked a Crucio to approach him. Milly Bulstrode was imprisoned in Azkaban, too.

And there weren't any people left. Lucius Malfoy never had allowed his son to have too many real friends. For the dead Malfoy senior, a concept like friendship hadn't existed at all. At that time, Draco had the same opinion - excluding Pansy - but everything was a little different now.

He pushed his chair back and started to wander around, restlessly.

Since he had met Potter in the Hogwarts' train, he had despised him for being friends with Weasley and later with Granger too. A Weasel and a Mudblood, of all people! At the same time he had been jealous of Harry because of his fame and the attention the Gryffindor got every time, despite the fact that he knew Potter had hated it. Draco would have been eager to switch places with him.

And what was the bottom line now? He, Draco Malfoy, sat here, pitying himself!

You're so pathetic.

He turned abruptly and took the small flask, swallowing the small amount of liquid. He waited a second, and the Potion took its effect immediately.

His anticipations weren't disappointed in the least.

***

Sunday afternoon, Draco glanced into the mirror and almost stumbled back.

Even the mirror wasn't making any comment, very rare for the pert thing.

A few months ago Potter had said he looked like a ghost. He had been annoyed over that comparison, but now it was simply the truth. His skin, normally pale enough as it were, was almost translucent. His eyes looked hollow and had dark rings under them. He was still shaking.

During the shear endless seeming hours he had suffered, he would have gladly taken his wand to finish himself off, but he hadn't been able to move a single muscle during the time.

Draco splashed some water in his face and fought the urge to retch again. If the old book had been right, he would feel better in the following hours. Until the next time - but he simply wasn't able to think about that yet. The thought alone made his blood run cold.

***

A continuous staring escorted Draco when he made his way to the staff table Monday morning.

Draco just ignored them and sat down elegantly. He could offhanded, because there wasn't any pain, it had vanished completely out of his body. For the first time after Voldemort had cursed him, he felt free of any symptoms, even if this peace would be temporarily.

Everybody was able to see his change, resulting in the stares he got.

Professor Sinistra's facial expression was so dumbfounded he had to suppress a grin.

"Are you okay, Mr Malfoy?"

"Splendid, Professor? Why?" he answered harmlessly, but his eyes were jittering.

"You ... look changed." The older woman eyed him from head to toe.

Draco didn't know if he should feel either flattered or embarrassed. But before he could prepare for an answer, he felt another glance on him, and he lifted his head, looking straight toward the Gryffindor table.

Ginny, head resting in both hands, didn't even so much as blink when they made eye contact, and neither of them looked away.

Then she smiled slightly, mouthing better?, and he nodded, ignoring the looks they got from the students or the staff.

Realization dawned on him, and he frowned. Why was he doing that? And with Ginny Weasley of all people?

Ginny was now hiding an obvious grin before returning to eat.

Vixen. She knows full well I didn't actually want to answer her.

But he felt too well to be bothered for more than a short moment.

***

Everybody in Hogwarts noticed the change in Draco Malfoy.

Almost everyone was nonplussed, not less of them suspicious. So he wasn't too surprised when after two days he got a remarkably formal letter which included an invitation to a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. He knew all too well why.

He was twenty minutes late on purpose. All others were seated, and the silence in this secret room of Hogwarts was overbearing.

Draco seemed to be unaffected when he entered. He saw Potter, Weasley and Granger together on a bank, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin sitting on both of their sides like gargoyles.

"Professor Dumbledore," Draco greeted coolly. "What gives me the privilege to be invited to this meeting?"

He stopped in the middle of the room, looking challengingly at the Headmaster and Head of the Order.

Dumbledore looked amused, while many others were throwing him disgusted glances. Draco didn't care.

"Please sit down, Mr Malfoy."

"Thank you, Sir."

Nevertheless he felt a nagging suspicion which was confirmed a moment later.

Trelawney rose, her eyes blazing behind the thick eyeglasses.

"Professor Dumbledore I demand of you that this ... this ... that Mr Malfoy is relieved of his post immediately!" Her voice was shrill and loud.

"Explain yourself, Sybil," Dumbledore said mildly.

"He is using Dark Arts! My inner eye had seen this, and it lies never!"

Draco coughed audibly into his hand. Surprised, he noticed the same noise coming from Black and Granger.

Trelawney was now fiery red in the face. But she didn't give up that easily.

"Just look at him!" she squealed.

She pointed at Draco, who only furrowed one brow, staring back coldly.

"Since the start of the term, he looked like a corpse or something, and now he has completely changed! This has to be result of Dark Arts!"

"Well, thanks, Professor Trelawney," Draco answered sweetly. "I never knew that my charm happens to be that intriguing."

Now even Ron Weasley let out a snort of laughter. Harry was grinning from ear to ear. Obviously Draco wasn't the only one who despised Trelawney.

The Divination Professor didn't open her mouth again.

If looks could kill, it would have spared me the whole Extinguere thing.

"Even if I don't agree with Professor Trelawney's choice of words, she has a point," Lupin broke in. "Do you have an explanation for us, Mr Malfoy?"

"No, Sir. And I don't know what you're talking about," Draco said lightly. The effect of the Extinguere potion had let him forget all cautiousness. "If you just ordered me here to check my health status, I hope I can leave now."

He stood up, but Dumbledore raised his voice again.

"Just another second of your time again, Mr Malfoy."

Bummer. Well, it could have worked, couldn't it?

"What?" He turned around unwillingly.

"Just a short question to calm down all members. Whatever happened to you - and do not deny that, we know that something happened - can you give us the guarantee that none of the students will be in danger? That their security is granted?"

Draco nodded shortly.

"Yes, Sir."

He turned and left the room, the door banging shut. Dumbledore's last words had infuriated him to no end, even if he knew the Headmaster had all rights to ask such a question.

Somebody bumped into him when strode along the corridor, deep in angry thoughts.

"My, Weasley. Is it a habit for you, knocking me out?"

Ginny reddened.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Something dawned on him. "You weren't eavesdropping, were you?"

She reddened even more.

"No! I was simply ... I lost ... I ... was eavesdropping," she finally capitulated. "How did you know?"

"It's clearly written in your face," Draco said amused. "Now is this the way a well behaved Gryffindor acts?"

Ginny got angry.

"No, it's the way somebody acts when nobody spills anything!"

Draco had an answer in tow when the door opened again, and the other members started to leave the secret room, at first Mr and Mrs Weasley.

"Oh no!" Ginny paled alarmingly. "Mum will kill me!"

She searched desperately for a place to hide.

Draco knew this corridor, and he also knew another secret spot. He shoved Ginny backwards.

"In there! They will think we met willingly!"

Hidden in the small alcove, they watched the other people disappear. As a result of the tiny space, Ginny was very close to him, he could smell a hint of perfume, something like forget-me-not.

"Are they gone?" Ginny whispered, shifting a little so that her torso was pressed into his back as she tried to look over his shoulder.

"Uh - not yet." Abruptly he snapped out. "I mean, yes they are."

She breathed a sigh of relief and stepped out of the shadows.

"That was close. Thank you, Malfoy."

"I didn't do that for you," he answered harshly. "Can you imagine what would have happened if they saw us together?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, your Highness."

"Watch your mouth," he warned. "I can still deduct house points from you!"

"How would you do that?" she answered sweetly. "It would be embarrassing for you, to explain why, now wouldn't it?"

"Shove - off!" he hissed.

"Gladly!"