Research and Development

It's October in Diagon Alley. In the cellar room of one of the small shops, voices can be heard raised in argument.

"George Weasley, get that away from me right now!"

Hermione Granger's most impressive and commanding voice rang throughout the cellar of the Diagon Alley shop causing a wide grin to form on her boyfriend's amused face.

"Why Hermione," George began in a fake shocked tone, "Aren't you eager to see how well your creation performs? I'd think you'd be proud of your new prototype and happy to test it."

"George," Hermione's voice was beginning to take on a pleading tone behind the sternness, "You know I don't need or want that tested on me."

"Well," George rebutted, "I neither needed nor wanted your blasted 'Songbird Sweet' stuck in my lunch during a meeting with important investors. I was twittering like the bint in that one Muggle film, what's her face . . . Snow White."

Hermione grinned at the memory. "As I recall, the investors were most impressed by the 'cleverness and resourcefulness' of your product development staff."

George snorted derisively as he replied, "I maintain that Smithers fellow was just trying to get in your knickers. That or he's utterly infatuated with his boss. Hard to tell with those sycophant types."

"I'm impressed," Hermione managed between bursts of laughter. "Such a big word for you to use, George."

George lazily lifted the spray bottle in his hand and Hermione's laughter was instantly silenced. "Just wanted to remind you what I'm capable of," George drawled with a small smirk.

Hermione opened her mouth to fire off a witty response, but was interrupted by the appearance of Fred at the top of the cellar stairs. Fred smiled as he witnessed his twin and his twin's girlfriend in yet another of their verbal battles. "Ahem," he began in a pompous tone reminiscent of one of his older brothers, "if you two young people are quite done fighting, I've come to remind you that we're due for dinner at home in about ten minutes. I'd like to add a reminder that Mother tends to become upset when any of us, especially dear Hermione, show up as the obvious victims of our latest merchandise."

George and Hermione were reluctantly forced to agree with Fred's advice. Hermione demanded the return of her latest project and, upon receiving the spray bottle from George, carefully locked and warded it in her desk. George did the same thing with the small sample he'd managed to grab as the three made their way through the twins' office. Hermione didn't notice a thing.

George grinned to himself. Though he'd played many small pranks on Hermione since being a victim of her scheming mind over the summer, he'd been unable to pull off anything as impressively public or as impressively embarrassing. But now he had the occasion and he had the supplies, all he needed was the plan.

Fortunately for George, Hermione was a creature of habit. In the three months they'd been dating and working together he'd spent plenty of time hanging about her flat watching movies, playing games, or just talking together. He'd also picked her up often enough to know that one aspect of her routine was unchangeable. Near her door there was a small shelf which, among other things, held a small perfume atomizer. Before she went anywhere Hermione sprayed herself with its light floral scent. It was around the atomizer that George placed his plan.

Halloween that year involved a huge party at the Burrow for all the Weasleys and their impressive collection of friends and significant others. George was Apparating to Hermione's flat so they could arrive together. However, instead of arriving at Hermione's when she planned to meet him, George Apparated silently in while Hermione was in the shower. He removed a small vial from his pocket, placed a small charm on the liquid it contained, poured the liquid into Hermione's atomizer, and blinked out of her flat.

Twenty minutes later, just as Hermione was starting to worry that her slightly irresponsible boyfriend would be late, he appeared in her living room with a loud crack. After scolding him for nearly making them late, Hermione sprayed herself with perfume and the couple Apparated to the Burrow.

About five minutes after arriving at the party Hermione began to feel slightly odd and instinctively narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her boyfriend and his twin who were sitting across the room with wide grins on their faces. Much to her horror, Hermione was suddenly aware of a desire to talk. She quickly recognized what was going on and tried her hardest not to open her mouth, but was overcome by the potion's compulsion. As the twins watched the dawning look of horror on her face, their grins grew even bigger, though George felt a moment of guile at what he was putting his girlfriend through.

Over the next fifteen minutes the guests at the Burrow listened with amusement as a strangely Barbie-like Hermione babbled mindlessly about clothes, shoes and hairstyles. Just before the potion wore off, Fred offered Hermione a delicious looking chocolate. Although she knew exactly what it was, Hermione could not resist her potion-induced girly side as it greeted the appearance of chocolate with an ear-splitting squeal and devoured the treat.

About ten seconds later, Hermione's facial expression returned to normal, if you could describe universe destroying rage as normal. As one spell wore of and another kicked in she fumbled in her bag for the all-purpose antidote she now constantly carried. As she rummaged she began sing-lecturing the twins in full angry opera diva mode. When she swallowed a sip of the cream colored antidote her voice returned to normal and the lecture continued.

" . . . realized how embarrassed I would be. I never would have created that blasted 'Vapidity Vapor' if I'd thought you'd use it against me. Honestly, George Fabian Weasley, I don't know what to do with you."

In a contrite voice, George suggested, "You could take me outside and let me apologize." Hermione's face softened for a moment then hardened itself as she nodded and imperiously gestured for George to join her in the back yard. Harry, Ron, Ginny and Fred scarcely waited until the pair was out of sight before getting out their Extendable Ears and trying to find a good place to listen in.

By the time they were able to find a suitable space they were too late to hear anything except Hermione saying, "Since you were quite clever as well as being terribly handsome . . ." Hermione's voice cut out for a moment then resumed, "And a most impressive kisser, I'll admit that I may have deserved the prank and forgive you." George responded with the type of sickening endearments only people in love can use with any degree of seriousness.

"Bugger." Ron summed up the situation succinctly, "They've gone all mushy. No one wants to hear that."

Mushy or not, in the back garden of the Burrow, Hermione Granger had started to plot her revenge.