Survivors

CHAPTER 18

Well Buffered

That evening, Hermione took her regular seat at the staff table. She had skipped breakfast and taken a nap through lunch. She tried to catch Snape's eye, but he was well buffered on the far side of Angelina and Professor Sinistra. Angelina proceeded to regale Hermione and Remus with details from her holidays, and Hermione was able to put Snape out of her mind for the time being. After dinner, however, the three of them were heading up to Angelina's room to see her vacation shots, when Hermione caught sight of Snape making a beeline for the steps leading down to the dungeons.

"Go on up, I'll be there in a sec," she assured Angelina and dashed over to Severus. She was a little taken aback by the glare he bestowed on her, but, assuming he was putting on a public face for the benefit of the students swarming out of the Great Hall, she did likewise and tried to keep it short and sweet. "Severus, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you this morning. Perhaps you'd care to drop by later?"

"I am supervising a detention this evening," he informed her coolly, frowning at a Slytherin student running past them, wand drawn.

"Of course." She rolled her eyes mentally, but offered, "Well, if it doesn't go too late--"

"I will be occupied until well past a decent hour for social calls. If you will excuse me--" He made to continue toward the stairs.

Why was he being so unfriendly? Had he found sleeping with her to be so repulsive? She felt the same way she had as a student when he had docked her House points for giving the right answer, but considered that perhaps, he was, in a roundabout way, being considerate; maybe he really didn't want her to wait up. "Another time then," she said, trying to be cheerful.

"Professor Granger," he responded coldly, looking at a point in space somewhere behind her, "if it hasn't become clear to you by now, it certainly has to me. There is absolutely no point in continuing our...discussion. You would be well advised to direct your inquiries elsewhere." And with that, he turned and descended the stairs.

Hermione felt a hot wave of embarrassment engulf her. Students continued past her; one of them knocked into her shoulder. They might have mumbled an apology, but she wasn't aware. Somehow, she managed to join the stream moving up toward Gryffindor Tower. Her promise to join Angelina and Remus completely forgotten, she numbly made her way to her room and locked the door, then stood there, in the darkened chamber, shaking.

...xOxOxOx...

Snape sat behind the desk in his classroom, a pile of essays and an extra large pot of red ink before him.

I cannot even look her in the eye; more than that, her mere presence is a source of embarrassment. When I think of how exposed I was before her...how she saw me lose control; how she made me lose control.

He attacked the topmost parchment with a flurry of crossings-out and scathing commentary.

I don't delude myself into believing that she actually got any pleasure from our assignation. A bloody female inclination, to attempt to maintain contact with me now. To what end? To lord it over me? To teach me a lesson in humility? She was warned from the start that she was playing with fire.

He tossed the graded essay roughly aside and stared blindly at the next one.

Does she actually want me to continue to use her? There was a time, perhaps, in my youth, when I would have gladly taken advantage. But I know that exposure of oneself comes at a price. I can pay Lenore off with Galleons for enduring my physical attentions. What payment would Hermione exact?

...xOxOxOx...

"Good morning, Hermione." Remus sat down and pulled his chair up to the table.

Hermione smiled wanly at him. "Hi, Remus."

"Up late last night?" he asked playfully, taking note of her puffy eyes and pale complexion.

"Nothing a dose of Pepper-Up potion won't cure," she quipped, holding up her cup.

"Mm," he commented nonchalantly. "Angelina and I wondered where you'd got to."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Remus. It completely slipped my mind."

Remus grinned. "Got a better offer, did you?" He leaned forward to look down the table toward Snape, who was sitting stiffly in his chair, sipping at his own cup.

Hermione shook her head. "No." No, she hadn't gotten any offer at all. A slap in the face was more like it.

"Hermione, what is it? Did something happen?"

"It's nothing, Remus," she said firmly. "Nothing happened." Nothing, aside from Snape having taken her for a fool. Well, she had asked for it, after all. The bastard.

Remus didn't push the issue, but he did notice that the chair beside Snape was empty, and Hermione hadn't taken it; that Hermione didn't look once in Snape's direction, nor he in hers; and that, when Snape stood up abruptly to take his leave, Hermione watched his back with hardened eyes.