Love, Lies, and a Secret

Love, Lies, and a secret

Chapter 13: Time to Ponder

*~*~*~*

London

1977

Mary and Remus were currently seated on a bench in the park. They had gone there because they wanted to get to know each other better. It was kind of a first date, although neither had specified it as being what it was.

"It-It's a lovely afternoon," Mary commented quietly without looking at him. She was playing with her own fingers in her lap.

"Yeah," he replied in an equally quiet manner, looking down at his feet.

"Mary-"

"Remus-"

They spoke at same time.

"You first." Again, together.

They laughed.

"No, it wasn't anything important," she said smiling. "What did you want to say?"

"Oh...j-just..." Just that I want to hold your hand and kiss you... "You'll be finishing school next year, right?" Way to go, Lupin! A true Gryffindor!

"Yeah," she smiled. "Next year... I can barely wait."

"What do you want to do once school is over?" he asked her curiously.

"I want to be an architect," she told him, then pausing. She was unsure if he knew what an architect was. "I don't if you know-"

But Remus shook his head playfully. "I am not a lost cause when it comes to Muggle things, like James, Sirius, and Peter are."

"Oh. Right."

There was a slight awkward pause between them.

"Mary-"

"Remus-"

They laughed nervously, after having spoken simultaneously once again.

Then, summoning all his courage, Remus took Mary's hand gently, and smiling timidly at her, asked, "Can - can I kiss you?"

Mary found herself unable to speak, and her heart beating uncontrollably within her chest. She simply nodded, closing her eyes.

Remus then leaned in and tenderly touched her lips with his own.

It had been her first kiss, and a very pleasant one, at that.

*~*~*~*

2000

Lavender Brown gazed sadly at the framed photograph on her dresser. The photo was of Parvati during their sixth year at Hogwarts. She was waving happily at the camera, looking as though she had not a care in the world.

"I miss you so much, Pav," Lavender whispered, wiping a tear away that had trailed down her cheek. "I need you so much." She closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath before opening them again.

"Why did you have to go, Pav? Why?"

She took her comb from atop the dresser and began to run it through her hair slowly.

"I know exactly what you would have said if you'd have been right now. I know. You would have said that I deserve better; that I should get a grip. I know. I've been telling myself the same things - everyday, every minute. I-I just can't- I can't, Pav. I love Ron. I love him so much. I-if you were here, I know you would have understood. I know you would have comprehended it."

"I know that's not the future I pictured for myself, Pav. No, it's not. But what really remains from the future I once wanted? I am alone. This damn war took everything. It took you away from me," she spoke the last sentence in a whisper.

She then replaced the comb to its place on the dresser, and stared into the mirror. She didn't feel pretty, or desirable. Not even in the beautiful new dress she was wearing or the fancy make-up. Lavender, most of all, was feeling empty - shallow.

"Hermione had an accident, you know?" she continued to talk. "Something to do with her work at Ministry. She and Terry Boot were hurt badly, it seems. But she's worse. Ronie said she had to go to her parents' house for the recovery. Something to do with magic - I don't know. He didn't tell me." She paused a moment and look back at Parvati's photograph. "I don't hate her, Pav. I don't. I know I got very angry when they started to date - but I was just a teenager then. Now everything's different." She bit her lower lip. "If I thought he loved her..." she paused to take a deep breath. "If I thought he loved her- I would back off. I swear, I would. But he doesn't love her. I am not saying that he loves me. No. Their relationship looks more like it's an obligation, Pav. It isn't love." She stood up, and adjusted her dress. "I brought this yesterday. Beautiful, huh? I-I brought it in a new store in Hogsmeade. Lots of beautiful clothes there...Y-You would have loved it, Pav. I'm sure you would have." She paused again and glanced towards the photograph. "Well, I think I-"

Just then, Lavender's monologue was interrupted by the doorbell.

"Oh! It's him!" she cried, taking another look at herself in the mirror. "I have to go!"

And she left the bedroom; not noticing that Parvati's laugh in the photograph had been replaced by a sad smile.

*~*~*~*

Draco Malfoy sighed as he walked alone through the empty streets of Hogsmeade. It was a cold afternoon, and no one was inclined to stay outdoors, something that Draco was actually grateful for. He wasn't in the mood for big gatherings, or students' squeals. Draco just wanted to wander peacefully, silently.

He still felt, somehow, out of place - like an intruder into the so-called Light side. Unlike the others, he didn't want to fight the Dark Lord and save the Wizard World, or help the Muggleborns. He couldn't care less about the others, and he still thought that the greater part of the Muggleborns were just filthy Mudbloods. Maybe the only exception was Granger. He had to admit - she was brilliant. But no, his fight was personal.

"I hate you, Lucius," he whispered angrily to himself, "I hate you for everything you were and everything you've done - and I hate you even more for making it so that I am unable to forget."

Draco was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't even notice someone walking in his direction. The collision was inevitable.

"What the h-" He suddenly stopped when he realised who the person was. "Weaselette!" He smirked at youngest Weasley. "What a pleasure."

Ginny couldn't help but snort softly under her breath. "Malfoy."

Draco held up his hands in a mock surrender for a moment, before taking a proper look at her. "Hey! Why the long face?" He leaned closed her and whispered into her ear, "Not happy to see me?"

Ginny just stared at him in a 'Do you really want me to answer that?' fashion.

"You know you look very sexy when you look at me that way?" he commented slyly, taking a hold of her arm.

The young Weasley wanted to retaliate, but felt herself blushing instead. "Now, Malfoy, let go of my arm so I can go home. I am really tired, and cold."

"Cold?" he whispered. His breath was on her neck just below her earlobe. She could feel the shiver run down her spine. She needed to get out of there.

"Dra- Malfoy. I- I-" The young redhead witch was unable to go on as Draco began to place small kisses on her neck. She wanted to scream - to run away, but Ginny found herself unable to do it.

It wasn't in her nature to cheat, though - actually, she was still mad at Ron for what he was doing to Hermione. And she loved Harry.

Harry.

She and Harry were in a relationship. It was a dream that had finally came true. But dreams are too different from reality.

She loved Harry, she really did. However, even if she convinced herself that he liked her a lot - she wasn't sure that he loved her.

They hardly ever actually kissed, or hugged each other. Ginny sensed that Harry was distant. He never wanted to go out, or simply spend an afternoon with her, holding hands at The Burrow. He always needed to work, or do something.

And everything got worse after Hermione's accident. Harry wasn't himself anymore. Many times she had caught him trying to say something, but then he wouldn't.

He wasn't well. And a big part of her knew it had something to do with Hermione.

But Ginny didn't want to think about that.

Hermione and Harry.

They...

No! There was nothing romantic between the two of them.

Ginny shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts. "Stop it!" she finally cried to Malfoy, struggling against his grip, and making him let go of her arm. "I hate you!" she hissed before Apparating away.

Draco just stood there, in the middle of the street, grinning like a fool.

"Would you mind, Potter, if I did your girlfriend?"

Well, the afternoon wasn't so bad after all.

*~*~*~*

Hermione Granger put the Muggle novel she was reading down onto her lap, as she sighed softly. She loved her parents, she loved her Muggle background, and her childhood home, but deep inside, she knew she wasn't a part of that anymore.

She had spent the night after the kiss, and the following talk with Neville, thinking about what she would - should do. One part of her wanted to say that the kiss was nothing, that Neville was utterly wrong - that her relationship with Ron was a good thing.

But she knew it would be a lie. She and Ron's relationship was slowing dying, and they were just too stubborn to admit it.

She loved him. She knew she loved him, but perhaps not in the way he deserved, not in the way a woman loved a man.

And Harry...

Fifteen days had passed since she had left and she still didn't know what to think. Or maybe she did know but was too afraid to admit it to herself.

Hermione could still close her eyes and feel his body against hers, his smell, and his taste. She had wondered about it so many times when she was younger and - and the reality was so much better.

She had always known that she had a sort of attraction towards her best friend, but she always supposed it to be something harmless, a little consequence of his becoming the handsome man he had become.

For a long time, Hermione had prayed for it to be only an attraction.

When she had taken the early train on that morning, she knew she was making the right decision. The young witch had been a Gryffindor, and she had never been a person to run away, to hide herself from her problems, but she also knew Harry would be there if she took the next train - and it was too soon to see him.

She - they - needed time to themselves. Time to think.

But fifteen days passed and she didn't hear a single word from him, not even to ask how she was doing, or if she was better.

Even Ron, poor Ron, had managed to call her, asking if she was fine (actually, he had screamed through the fellytone).

Dr. Mike Navy had gone to visit a couple of times. He had told her that body had expelled almost the entire potion, but she would have to wait until the potion was totally gone from her system before she returned to a Magical Environment.

Remus Lupin had also come to visit her. Several times, in fact. Not that she minded. Hermione truly liked the old werewolf. Sometimes she felt like they had some sort of connection that was beyond the simple fact that he had been her Professor.

He told her all news from the Ministry, and of Tonks and Terry, who thankfully was doing fine.

But... Only when she had asked about Harry, Remus purposely changed the subject, simply muttering that the young wizard was fine.

"Oh, Harry," she whispered quietly to herself. "I-"

Just then the doorbell rang, breaking her from her musings.

"Hermione, dear!" her mother called from the kitchen. "Can you go see who it is?"

"Sure, mum!" she called back, standing up from the couch.

She walked towards the front door, and without thinking twice, she opened it.

"Hello, Hermione," the person said, a bit nervously.

It was Harry.

****