Deer to Me

Chapter Nineteen

Remus slowly opened his eyes, and even that simple movement caused him great pain. But since they were open and closing them would be more painful, he opted to stay awake. Turning (OOOWWW) over, he looked up and saw James and Sirius sitting at the foot of his bed, with mirror images of ire on their faces turned away.

"What's gong on?" Remus asked, very slowly, as his jawbone ached.

"Go ahead, Sirius. Tell Moony what you did," James prodded, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I am, James, give me a minute," Sirius bit back.

"Well go ahead then," James motioned to Remus.

"What happened?" Remus interrupted, a slow feeling of dread coming on him like a cold blanket.

"Sirius thought it would be amusing-"

"I'll tell him!" Sirius growled. "Keep your big nose out of it-"

"I do not have a big nose!" James sat up quickly.

"Please!" Remus croaked. "Sirius, what happened?"

"I...well....I...er...told Snape-"

"Thought it would be funny, he did-"

"Shut up, Potter!" Sirius yelled, incensed. "All right, Remus, here's what I did. I told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow."

Remus stopped breathing for a moment. A vision of Snape walking through the fireplace suddenly filled his mind's eye. Then it was all blank.

"Oh...my....God...." Remus whispered. "I've...I've...."

"You didn't do anything," James interrupted. "I got there in time and got him out of there."

"I helped," Sirius mumbled.

"It was your fault he was down there, you wanker!" James hissed.

"Sirius, how could you?" Remus asked. "This isn't something that can be brushed aside with detention-"

"Oh, don't worry, I've got it. Until the end of term," Sirius folded his arms in front of him. "I think Dumbledore was being a bit harsh, if you ask me. It was just a joke"

"Harsh?" James cried. "You nearly got Snape killed! You're lucky you weren't expelled!"

"Not as if he didn't deserve it!" Sirius stood up. "He's always trying to sneak around and get us in trouble! And he screwed up your chances with Lily-"

"But that doesn't mean you have to put his life in danger!" James threw his arms up.

"I was trying to do something nice for you, James. You know, since Lily hates you and all now."

"You went about it the right way," James said, sarcastically.

"Excuse me," Remus interrupted. He wasn't in so much pain anymore, because the anger surging through his body was enough to overpower the pain he was feeling. "But can somebody tell me whether or not I bit Snape and if I am expelled or not?"

"Remus, this isn't your fault," James told him. "Dumbledore-"

"And how did Dumbledore find out?" Remus asked.

"Well, he was...in Hogsmeade..." James looked down. "And he overheard me when I was yelling at Snape-"

"You were yelling?" Remus paled. "How many of Hogsmeade knows that I'm a werewolf, James? The entire town?"

"I was upset, Remus," James shot back. "Don't get mad at me-"

"Too late," Remus folded his arms over his chest. "Well? Does the school know?"

"No," Sirius spoke up. "Dumbledore made Snivellus swear that he wouldn't say anything and if he did, he would be expelled."

"Doesn't change the fact that everyone'll know that I'm a werewolf," Remus said. "And by that time, they'll be owls and owls of parents demanding that I leave the school at once. Do you even realize what you've done? Both of you?"

James and Sirius were silent.

"I was given this one chance, one chance, to go to school. I'm not like you, James! I couldn't just waltz into this school like I owned it, I'm here on borrowed time! And Sirius! Your family hates you, but you aren't a monster like I am-"

"You aren't a monster, Remus-" Sirius said, his voice tight.

"I am, you two just have never realized it yet," Remus looked down. "If this gets out, I'm never...I'll not even be allowed to watch you graduate....Don't you understand? Once I leave here, I'm shunned. I'll have no work, I'll have no place to live. This place is the only place where I can be equal to everyone. And you two may have just destroyed that forever."

"Remus, I'm-"

"I don't want to hear it," Remus didn't look at them. "I'm going back to sleep." With that, he turned over and went back to sleep. James stood up and glared at Sirius.

"I hope you had your entertainment, Sirius," James spat.

"Oh piss off!" Sirius said, storming out of the hospital wing.

During lunch, Sirius and James sat on opposite sides of the long Gryffindor table. Remus was still no where to be found, and poor Peter couldn't choose who to sit with. Instead, he became the runner of nasty comments in-between the two.

Lily was concerned for them, as she'd never seen them sit apart, even when they were mad at each other. Whatever happened, it was serious. She felt bad for treating James so badly, so she sat down next to him to try to cheer him up a bit, as he was looking so very downcast.

"James?" she said, quietly. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Well, obviously, something happened," Lily looked down and saw a salad waiting for her. She blanched and began picking at the iceberg lettuce that was void of any other toppings.

"Weren't you mad at me?" James mumbled.

"I was, but you looked so upset that I wanted to make you feel better."

"Well, I don't want it. I want to wallow in my self-pity."

"James, come on now," Lily put her hand on his shoulder and he brushed it off, roughly. "J-

"James," Peter interrupted, looking quite aired and confused. "Sirius says that you are an ugly git and that you need to keep your big trap shut." He cast a nervous glance at Lily and then moved in closer to James. "And...um..." he whispered something into James' ear and James rolled his eyes.

"Tell him that I do not have problems and that he should go visit St. Mungo's to get his checked out because Merlin knows what's growing on it."

"Y-Yes, all right," Peter squeaked, running back to the other side of the table. Lily rolled her eyes.

"You two must have had some row," she commented, pressing her hand to her heart, it had suddenly sped up for some reason.

"Yes, and I'm about to have a row with you if you don't leave me alone," James growled, not looking at her.

"Look, I'm just...." Lily blinked and suddenly had a very bad dizzy spell. "I just want to-"

"Just want to what?" James snapped. Lily blinked heavily and shook her head. The dizzy spell was leaving her quickly.

"Never mind," Lily said, standing up and walking out of the Great Hall.

"Um, James?" Peter squeaked.

"What?" James snapped.

"Sirius says that-"

"Oh come off it!" James said. "Go tell Sirius to grow up!" With that, he stormed out of the Great Hall. He stood fuming in the corridor and then looked out the window.

"I need to run."

Lily walked out the door and sighed. She could understand why James was in such a state and why he was being rude to her, but it didn't make it right. However, she could tell that if she tried to tell him so, he'd get even more upset.

She jumped when she felt three drops fall on the back of her neck. She looked up to see if it was about to rain, but the sky was blue. And the roof above her was dry, as it hadn't rained in several days. She rubbed the back of her neck, and it felt cold to her, but not wet.

"My, my. Little Gryffindors all over are in such a fuss," Bellatrix cooed, breaking Lily out of her trance. She was sitting above her on the stair rail and screwing a cap back on a bottle daintily. Lily suddenly realized that she had been the one to put the wetness on her neck.

"What did you do, Bellatrix?" Lily said. Bellatrix eyes lit up and she let out a laugh.

"Oh, Lily, dearest Lily," she chuckled. "I am not doing anything but wishing you a pleasant morning."

Lily raised her eyebrow at Bellatrix and continued walking. She didn't realize that she was in the Forbidden Forest until she saw the green leaves in front of her. Suddenly, she felt very tired as if a giant weight had been put on her shoulders. She plopped down on the log and sighed. Her heart had just started beating very quickly again, even though she was terrifically tired.

Meanwhile, James leapt over logs and other animals burning off his extra energy. He still felt the ping of heartache whenever he thought about his best friend, but with every hurdle he jumped over, he felt better.

Suddenly, he got a whiff of Lily's scent. Feeling guilty about the way he'd treated her before, he approached her slowly. She was holding her hand to her chest and breathing very heavily. She kept coughing every few seconds and never seemed to be getting enough air.

"Hey," she said, quietly. She put a hand to her heart and breathed out. "I suddenly got this terrible heart race. I don't know..." She trailed off and blinked very heavily.

Lily? James thought, stepping closer. She put a hand up to her throat and took a deep breath, but was having difficult. Her breath was coming out in short gasps, even though she looked about ready to pass out.

"I think...I'd better see Madame Pomfrey...." she tried standing up, but she fell down to the ground, breathing even heavier than last time. James could smell the fear coming off of her and heard her terrified whimpering.

James forgot all about Azkaban, about Dumbledore, about anything else except the fact that Lily was in trouble. He transformed with a ‘pop' and ran to her side. He didn't even register the extreme and utter shock in her eyes as she watched his entire transformation.

"Lily," he breathed, running his hand down the side of her face. "What's wrong?"

"James," she gasped, her hand flying to her throat. "I can't...I can't breathe...." She passed out in his arms from lack of breath, but was still gasping low in her throat. Panicked, James pulled out his wand, and was about to cast a Reducing charm when a ghost of a conversation flitted through the back of his mind.

"Wouldn't that do the opposite of what you needed to do?"

"One would think so," Frank said, tapping his hand to his chin thoughtfully. "But the combination of the Alihotsy and the Drought make it so if a Reducing Charm is used, the effects will happen ten times faster, and death is almost instant."

Lily's lips were slowly turning a horrible shade of blue, and her gasps were coming in shorter breaths. It might have been that horrible potion that Frank had been telling them about, but that required an Engorgement charm, and if he was wrong, it would kill her faster.

He really didn't have that much time to debate this, as she was barely breathing and her body had gone lax.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and prayed.

"Engorgio!" he whispered, tapping her throat.

Lily began coughing violently, and turned her head into his chest for support. James let out the breath he'd been holding and held her close to him, while she regained the air in her chest. He looked down at her, worry still etched on his face.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

She didn't make any movement of answering, but closed her eyes again and passed out. Satisfied that she was still breathing and still shaking himself, he picked her up and carried her back to the castle.

"Trifalsus potion?" Dumbledore said, quietly.

"I'm positive. Unless you know of another potion that reacts like that to the Engorgment charm," James said. He was still shaking from the entire ordeal, but after depositing Lily in the Hospital Wing, and saying as little as possible to Pomfrey, who looked quite confused, he ran the entire way up to Dumbledore's office.

He told him a slightly edited version of the story (leaving out the Animagus transformation), and soon the two of them set out to the Hospital Wing.

Dumbledore said nothing until they reached Lily's bedside. She was still asleep, soundly. Dumbledore picked up her hand and touched it lightly. She made no movement as if she felt it. James looked at him.

He took a heavy breath and tried the same thing with the other hand.

"What is it?" James asked, quietly.

"After the Alihotsy and the Swelling solution are counter-acted by the Engorgement Charm, the Drought of the Living Dead continues to act until it wears off."

"When will that be?" James asked.

Dumbledore lightly poked her shoulder. She twitched a bit and turned her head to the other side. He seemed satisfied by that. "In a few hours, James."

James looked at Lily and suddenly a horrible anger welled in his chest. "It was probably those f- er.." he cast a cautious glance to Dumbledore, "Slytherins who did it."

"Not Slytherins, James, Death Eaters."

James did a double take. "D-Death Eaters?!"

Dumbledore had a ghost of a smile on his face. "You are training to be an Auror now James, you must get used to the idea that there are those who do not wish you to live for much longer."

"But, why Lily? Why now?"

"Lord Voldemort, I'm afraid, has many of his legion inside the school."

"Chuck them out!" James hissed.

"I will not expel anyone unless they warrant it," Dumbledore said.

"Doesn't this warrant it?!" he bellowed. Lily gave a turn of her head and James quieted himself.

"Unlike your friend, Mr. Black, this was planned and intended to kill, so yes," Dumbledore nodded. "The culprit will be expelled and prosecuted."

"Do you know who did it?" James asked.

"At the present moment," Dumbledore said, getting up to walk to the door. "There are no suspects."

James sighed and continued to look at Lily. He knew he would have some explaining to do when she woke up.