My Apology

Chapter 4

I thought that you might have

Some advice to give

On how to be

Insensitive.

"What exactly did you say?" Sirius asked as he led James up to their dormitory.

James sighed. "I said, 'You couldn't get anything on two legs to follow you around if you tried.'"

Sirius flinched. "Yeah. That explains it."

"Explains what?" James asked, plopping down onto his four-poster.

"Lily stormed through the common room like a mad woman before you showed up. I didn't think she'd be the crier, though," Sirius explained, sitting across from James on his own bed.

"I still don't know," James continued skeptically, "She's cold-hearted. I can't imagine her crying over anything."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "She's still a girl, James. She does have feelings."

"I wouldn't be so sure," James muttered.

Sirius chuckled. "I still don't understand why it is that you two hate each other so much. I think Lily's a very nice girl. She's smart, she's witty...she's moderately good looking."

"She's an insufferable know-it-all," James finished coolly.

Sirius laughed again. "You just can't deal with the fact that there's someone smarter than you in this school, can you?"

James screwed up his face in offence. "She's not smarter than me!"

Sirius grinned devilishly. "Maybe once she helps you out with your Charms she won't be."

"I'm a million times better than her at Transfiguration," James pointed out.

"That may be so, but she doesn't need a tutor."

James let out a frustrated groan. "You never let up, do you?"

"If you ask me, I think you should give her a chance, James," Remus, who had overheard the last part of the conversation, said.

"I didn't ask you," James grumbled, falling back onto his bed.

"I know she called you incompetent back in 4^th year, but that's no reason to hold a grudge so long. Or call her ugly," he finished.

"Is everyone against me?" James cried, sitting up again.

"We're not against you, buddy," Sirius assured, slapping James on the back. "I think Remus just wants to be able to flirt with Lily without you getting mad."

Remus spun around in surprise. "What?!"

James raised an amused eyebrow at his friend.

"I don't think of Lily like that, I swear!"

"Come on," said Sirius, ignoring Remus. "I'm starving. Let's go to dinner."

[~**~] [~**~]

Lily pushed her mashed potatoes around her plate with a sour expression on her face. She couldn't believe she cried. She'd die if James Potter ever found out his harsh words had had that big of an effect on her. She was completely ashamed of herself.

"Stop worrying about it," said Prudence knowingly. She sat across from Lily at the Gryffindor table munching on a roll. "He's a jackass."

Lily nodded and awarded her best friend with a small smile. "I know that," she said. "But how am I going to tolerate him for a lesson tonight?"

A grin slowly spread across Prudence's attractive face. "That's easy," she paused dramatically.

Lily looked up at her expectantly.

"You make him eat his words."

At that moment James, Sirius, Remus, and another of their trouble-making friends, Peter Pettigrew sauntered into the Great hall.

To Lily's surprise, Sirius took the seat next to her. James was on his other side. She stiffened.

Sirius elbowed her lightly in the ribs. "Don't worry about it," he smiled at her. "I'll keep him in check."

Remus sat down next to Prudence, and Peter took the seat next to him. Pru and Remus immediately took up a conversation about the Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw that coming Saturday.

"Are you feeling better?" Sirius asked after chewing a mouthful of roast chicken.

Lily sighed. They knew. "I'm fine, thank you."

"James is a stupid prat," he said, loud enough for James to hear. "He doesn't know what he's talking about. Don't take it personally."

Lily snorted. It was nice knowing that James' friends were on her side. She noted that he was being abnormally quiet.

[~**~] [~**~]

James climbed through the portrait hole later that night, covered in mud and dead tired. His eyes searched the common room for Lily Evans. He didn't see her. Maybe she had decided not to come. He hoped so. That would make his life a whole lot easier.

He decided to go upstairs and change.

Ten minutes later, he still couldn't find her. He approached Sirius, who was participating in a rowdy game of Exploding Snap with Remus, Peter and Prudence. "Have any of you seen Lily?" he asked dully.

All four of them looked up at him. Remus and Peter were staring at him dumbly, Sirius had a pained expression on his face, and Prudence was grinning devilishly.

James frowned. Was he missing something?

"She's over there." Prudence nodded her head in the direction of the corner. James' gaze shifted and fell on the redhead. The first thing he noticed was that, for once, her deep red hair was loose, and fell softly down her back.

"Er...Okay, thanks," said James, leaving his friends.

He took a deep breath. "Uh...Hey," he greeted unsurely.

"Oh, hi," she said, looking up from her Charms text. She smiled at him.

He had to be going crazy. He could have sworn that Lily Evans had just smiled at him. That was impossible. Especially after what he had said earlier.

And then it hit him. He knew exactly what she was trying to do. She was wearing jeans and a black sweater. He wasn't sure, but he thought there might be some traces of lip gloss on her lips, and her eyes seemed brighter. Her hair shimmered in the flickering firelight. She was trying to prove him wrong.

She had succeeded.

He pulled out the chair across from her and sat down tentatively. "Hey, Evans?"

"Hmm?"

"It's not going to work."

She peered at him. "What's not going to work?"

"This new look of yours," he explained.

She raised an eyebrow.

"It's not going to make me fall in love with you."

Lily's eyebrows shot up in shock. She gaped at him. And then she dissolved into a fit of giggles. She laughed so hard that tears started streaming down her cheeks.

James inched his chair further away from her, looking at her as though she was crazy.

Finally, after a few minutes, her laughter subsided. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked at him. "You really are the most arrogant person I have ever had the displeasure of knowing."

He stared at her. "Touché."

"Someay, Potter, someone is going to make you realize that everything is not always about you."