Where Angels Fear To Tread

Where Angels Fear To Tread

Chapter Five: Blood is Thicker than Water

********

New Year´s Day, 2002

Order of the Phoenix Headquarters

Ginny watched as Harry paced about. They were all seated in a loose circle, but now everyone pushed their chairs back subtly, not wanting to get in Harry´s way while he was unhappy.

He was frowning, muttering under his breath as he paced, occasionally stopping to stare at his papers or look someone in the eye long enough for them to become uncomfortable.

Suddenly, he stopped and turned to Dean.

"How´s Remus doing?"

Dean smiled artlessly. Harry blinked at him for a second; maybe he had forgotten that such an expression existed, surrounded as he was by worried faces. Then he made an effort to smile back. His gleaming bloodshot eyes made the smile look rather feral and several members of the circle flinched, but Dean looked gratified.

"He´s out of danger. Most of his wounds are healing well, but I´m afraid the good news ends there."

Harry nodded at him to continue.

"We can´t save his right eye. It will have to go." Harry´s eyes darkened and he bowed his head. Ginny winced in anticipation of an outburst. It didn´t come. He took a few deep breaths and spoke again.

"I see. Do what you think best." Sensing Dean´s guilt, Harry clasped his shoulders and, looking into his eyes, spoke as earnestly as he knew how. "I don´t blame you for anything, do you understand that? It´s not your fault."

Dean looked grateful, but they all saw him relax as Harry let go. "Thank you, Harry. Can I give you some advice? As a friend, not as your top Healer."

Harry looked surprised for a second, but then he nodded, the battle ongoing behind his eyes easing a little.

"Stop blaming yourself. You couldn´t have known." The words were succinct. They impacted immediately. The silence was so painful that Ginny wanted to scream. Dean spoke again, imploringly. "I also ask that you listen to me as a friend, and not as the War Leader."

Harry finally sat down heavily, sighing. "Thank you, Dean. My feelings don´t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Right now, they should be the least of our worries." He looked straight at Seamus. Ginny winced again; the tension between the two had become unbearable in the last few weeks.

Seamus lifted his head. His eyes were flashing angrily, although the anger was not directed at Harry. They looked at each other for a while, silently gauging each other´s position on this particular crisis. That done, Seamus spoke.

"What the hell happened?"

Ginny restrained herself from slapping him. Could he have any less tact? Ron could have put it better.

Harry merely laughed in response. "You tell me, Seamus, you were there."

Seamus frowned. He was smiling less and less these days, just like everyone else. Ginny didn´t think she had ever heard him laugh in the last three months. She missed the sound.

"I told you, it was a slaughter. They knew we were coming. They knew our strengths, our weaknesses, even that Remus was going to be there. Why else were the archers there?" He sat up straighter, one eyebrow rose in a perfect imitation of Harry. "So, since you were the one who set up everything, you tell me what happened."

Harry spread his hands in front of him, smiling. His eyes were widened in an expression of perfect innocence. They were utterly cold.

"Ask me whatever you want." He arched one brow. Seamus had been a shoddy imitator after all, Ginny thought suddenly. No one could really capture that mixture of apparent incorruptibility and horrifying viciousness. "After all, I have nothing to hide."

Any wrong move you make will be remembered. If you kick me when I´m down, you will never get up again. The words that he would never say were heard clearly. Ginny wished Remus or Sirius were here. They would never let things get this bad. Even Snape would be helpful right now. None of them were here, so those who were had to watch as things degenerated.

Seamus seemed to recognise the warning for what it was and subsided a little. Ginny didn´t blame him for disagreeing with some of Harry´s methods. The ruthless man he had become frightened her. However, that didn´t stop her from being angry with Seamus for stirring up these episodes. Harry was unstable at the best of times. They needed him as the War Leader, not as a lunatic.

She mentally chastised herself for the thought, but did not correct it. She couldn´t.

Seamus released the breath he had been holding and dropped his gaze. Looking around the circle at all the worried and in some cases, frightened, faces he spoke to all of them.

"The names of those who knew about the attack would be a good start."

Harry tapped his fingers against the desk. He was drawing patterns with the other hand and did not seem to be paying attention. "That´s a fairly long list. Many highly placed Order members would become suspects."

"So?"

He glanced up again. Ginny barely suppressed a gasp. His pupils were constricted, so much so that there was only a tiny black dot being swallowed by killing curse green. When he spoke again, his voice was frighteningly cheerful.

"Don´t you understand, dear Seamus, that we can´t afford that right now? We´ve never been able to afford it. Trust is such a fragile thing, and I will not risk suspicion on that scale."

He laughed again. Ginny shivered.

"Who will you accuse? Remus? Sirius?"

Seamus shook his head. Their positions were unquestionable, everyone knew that.

"Snape? He was vouched for by Dumbledore himself."

There was murmuring at this, but it soon quietened down. Snape had long since proven his loyalty.

"One of the Weasleys? They´re our most faithful family."

To accuse the Weasleys was a very bad thing. Everyone knew that, too.

He had got quieter as he went on.

"Hermione?"

No one dared to speak.

His voice lowered to a mere whisper.

"Or me? Is that your intention, Seamus?"

One could have heard a pin drop in the silence.

Finally, Seamus spoke. "You know I´d never do that." He said slowly, as if trying to get a particularly slow child - or a madman - to understand.

Ginny didn´t know how Seamus could be so calm. If Harry had been looking at her that way (he´d never really do that, of course) she´d have been trembling. As it was, she could only see the slightest tremor in his hand as Seamus gripped the armrest of his chair.

She waited for Harry´s reaction with bated breath. What seemed like an eternity later, he broke into a smile and clapped his hands together.

"Well, then, what are we arguing about? I promise you, Seamus, I will find the traitor." He grinned at Seamus, who looked dazed at the sudden change of mood.

"Don´t worry, just leave everything to me. I´ll have your answer within the week."

Seamus´s eyes lit up. Oh no, Ginny thought. He´s being clever again. That never ends well.

She was right.

"What if you can´t find the traitor within the week?"

Harry leaned back in his chair.

"Then you´re free to accuse me as you like." One last sunny smile, and then, "if you have any other problems, any one of you, just come see me any time. I don´t think there was anything else." No one moved. "No? I won´t keep you any longer, then."

Ginny collapsed back into her chair. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw several others do the same.

* * *

Over the next days, she seldom saw him. He was very busy, talking to all his spies, discussing in whispers with Hermione and spending time shut up in his room, refusing to see anyone.

It turned out that in addition to the disastrous mission, Wormtail their valuable prisoner had escaped. Harry was furious, apparently. She never saw him being angry.

Many came forward with clues and accusations, but he refused to listen, not wanting to spread panic or feed rumour.

No one knew what was coming, and Hermione would of course never talk. Somehow, the grapevine turned on Seamus. He was named as the chief suspect. Murmuring followed him wherever he went.

After the second day, Harry heard. He made a speech, denouncing the rumours. Dean smiled approvingly. Even Seamus and his group looked grateful.

On the third day, Harry summoned Ginny. That wasn´t quite the right term, and he would never be so arrogant, but that was what it came to be called. She was sure that he would be unhappy if he knew. She would get an owl with a polite message, asking if she could please come and see him as soon as possible, at her own convenience of course. That was as close to ordering as he ever came. It was very effective.

He spoke to her gently once she was there. There was an important assignment he wanted her to be a part of, so would she like to come with him? He had been so very earnest, she´d agreed before even thinking to ask what the operation would be about.

Normally, asking would not yield any answers. Even when she did ask, he could not tell her much. If only he could tell her, he always said with heartfelt regret. If only the War Council´s demands of secrecy did not prevent it! She had always smiled and nodded. He needed her. She would go. Nothing else really mattered, or so she had thought.

Tonight, he told her everything. Locations, participating members, even specific objectives. When she asked him why he was being so forthcoming, he smiled at her.

"The War Council´s security policy didn´t stop the traitor from knowing, so what´s the point?"

Ginny tried to offer a few words, to make him feel better, maybe, but Harry waved her off.

"It´s all right. Besides," his eyes seemed to see all her secrets. She wanted to look away. After an eternity, he continued, "I trust you, Ginny."

The words were like a glass of red wine; they went straight to her head. She cursed herself for blushing.

He always treated her like this, as if she was a younger sibling, almost to the point of indulging her everyday whims. It was a wonderful feeling, being loved, but somewhere in the back of her head she speculated. Did Ron ask him to do this? Or did he baby her out of a misplaced sense of guilt?

A brother gained for a brother lost. She didn´t want him as a brother. Had never wanted his affection as a sibling. She had enough of those. What she wanted, she knew now, she´d never have. For a million reasons, but mainly because she could never understand him. He never wanted to be understood.

He was nicer to her than he was to Cho. This delighted Ginny, although she´d never admit it. A Weasley girl shouldn´t be petty.

There was a meeting the next morning for all involved with the assignment. Bill was there, as well as Percy, who worked on co-ordination, and surprisingly, Sirius, throwing worried glances at Remus every five seconds.

Remus looked appalling. He had never looked fully healthy, as long as she had known him, but now she barely recognised him. He was painfully thin, most of his hair had gone grey, and there was a bandage over one eye. The blood loss had been terrible, Dean had told her. He was lucky to be alive. Yet here he was, smiling at her as though nothing was wrong, nothing at all.

It was more or less a routine assignment. The potions laboratory they were supposed to raid-and-destroy was small-scale, there really was no need for their top strategist to be present, not to mention the leader of their reconnaissance team.

Ron had been their best strategist. Ron should have been here. She banished the thought with effort. It was getting easier now. It had been three years after all, and the rest of her family had grown even closer than before, if that was possible. Maybe they were trying to fill the gap he had left behind. Bill quit his job at Gringotts and came back as soon as he could from Egypt to join the Resistance. Fred and George turned their shop into a very effective Order operation post. They spent time coming up with all sorts of useful things for the Resistance and were formidable as a team. Even Percy threw himself into the Order after the Ministry´s War Council made one mistake too many. Their family was the backbone of the Resistance in its earlier stages, and everyone knew it.

Sirius was discussing something with Harry in a harsh whisper. She couldn´t hear what they were talking about, but the note of urgency in Sirius´s voice was enough.

Everyone else pretended to be doing something else and not watching them argue. It was a matter of courtesy, really. Harry knew they were listening, and that was enough to make most of them try not to.

Finally, Sirius invited Remus into the argument.

"Remus, you tell him that this is madness. I know he´s angry that Wormtail escaped, but this is insane. He won´t listen to his recon team leader or his godfather, maybe he´ll listen to his strategist." He sounded more worried than angry, but the harsh tone of voice was enough to make several people around the room flinch.

Remus opened his one remaining eye. "It´s not actually a bad decision. Sorry, Sirius."

Sirius seemed to deflate at that. Harry smiled at Remus gratefully. Remus frowned at him. "Don´t expect me to say that the next time you pull something reckless."

He inclined his head in acknowledgement. "Thank you, Remus."

Sirius scowled at Remus and Harry alternatively for a second before he sighed, massaging his forehead with one hand.

"Fine, fine. It´s not like I have any say when you two gang up on me." He bit his lip, but Ginny could see that he was concealing a smile. Harry grinned at him.

"Stop worrying." There was a pause, and then suddenly Sirius was hugged him fiercely. Behind them, Ginny saw Fred miming tears. She mock glared at him. He pulled a face at her in response. At least that hadn´t changed.

"You be careful, all right?"

Harry looked happy, for the first time in days. "Of course."

It turned out that Harry had insisted on coming along on the assignment and could not be persuaded to change his mind. Sirius was understandably upset. No one knew who the spy was. If word got out, Merlin knew what might happen.

It wasn´t like Remus to make a decision like this. It wasn´t like Harry to be so stubborn about something like this. They both knew that it wasn´t the correct thing to do at this point. So why was no one objecting?

Ginny raised an eyebrow at Bill. He shook his head lightly, casting a glance at the empty seat where Seamus would usually be. She understood. They saw it as Harry´s last stand, a last struggle to make his mark, and fuck the consequences. Harry´s time was fast running out.

Sirius was right, this is insanity. Why isn´t he objecting more? He knows how stupid this is.

The meeting ended without further incident and Ginny kept her thoughts to herself. It wasn´t her position to speak.

I´ll just have to trust him, she thought. Is that so difficult?

* * *

She went to bed early. Her dreams were dark and full of hidden dangers. There was someone crying, but she couldn´t find the source of the sound.

Someone shook her awake. She woke up, shivering, feeling like she had been standing in a rainstorm for hours. The cold sensations wouldn´t leave. Even so, she still had her wand jabbed into the intruder´s side in five seconds flat.

Bill´s voice calmed her. "Ginny, are you okay? You´re cold." A muttered `lumos´, and she was peering at his worried face.

"Merlin, you´re pale. Maybe you shouldn´t be coming with us tonight."

She sat bolt upright. "Where are we going?"

Bill shook his head. "Never mind, you stay here and rest." He turned to leave.

"No, wait." She didn´t need time to think. If he had to come and wake her up in the middle of the night, it must be important. "I´m coming with you."

* * *

Bill had protested, of course. But she was an adult now, a member of the Order, and he couldn´t stop her from doing what she wanted. She thought that she had to do it.

They found Harry pacing in his tent. He looked up, frowning, as they entered.

"Where is he? If he´s gone off somewhere by himself at this sort of time..." His muttering faded to a volume only he could hear, but Ginny could imagine the content of what he was saying.

She was just about to ask whom Harry meant when the doors opened and Seamus strode in, dragging his fingers through his hair to flatten it. He still looked half-asleep.

Harry smiled at him as if he hadn´t just been complaining.

"Ah, Seamus. Good of you to come at such short notice."

Seamus blinked himself awake. He looked alarmed for a second as he realised that he could have just walked into a trap by himself. He moved for his wand.

Harry took a step forward. He placed a hand on top of Seamus´s right hand, which was reaching inside his robe.

"Don´t worry, I wouldn´t ask you here just to ambush you."

Seamus snorted. "Well, what do you want me for?"

Harry let go and stepped back. There was a serious, almost grave look in his eyes.

"I´m asking for your help."

After they all arranged themselves into some sort of seating, Harry began to explain.

"There are no surveillance charms in this room. All conversations in the meeting room are recorded, I can tell you that, so it´s much more secure here. I want you all to understand how important it is that this remains secret." He waited until they all nodded, and then went on.

"You all know that I have a couple of highly placed spies in the Death Eaters." I? What´s that supposed to mean? Ginny bit her lip and didn´t voice the thought out loud. Here he paused, probably expecting Seamus to make a remark about the wording, but he remained wisely silent.

"The traitor does not interact directing with Voldemort." His eyes swept over them, cataloguing their reactions to the name, not missing a single detail. When the silence had gone on long enough to make her squirm in her seat and still no one spoke, he went on.

"The Dark Lord sends a Death Eater to act as the middle person - an ambassador, I suppose. This is how information - and probably promises of power - are exchanged."

"But isn´t that more likely to cause a leak?" Seamus asked. He looked attentive and wide-awake now, no doubt trying to remember every word for future reference.

Harry nodded. "Theoretically, yes. That´s why Voldemort sends a loyal Death Eater. That way the informant can do business on his own terms, and the Dark Lord doesn´t have to compromise any information at all himself." He flashed a small smirk, exulting in his small but decisive victory. "Turns out that he´s too trusting."

Someone started laughing, and she joined in, sharing the joke for as long as it would last.

Laughter was rare in these times, and much needed. So she laughed, although something inside her was shivering.

Harry´s grin of savage triumph was more than slightly disconcerting, but she forced herself to meet his laughing eyes.

"One of our spies has managed to obtain that role."

Seamus shook his head in wonder. "Do you mean to say, all that preparation and arguing for the Potions lab assignment was just to give the traitor something to report?"

Bill shrugged and answered for Harry. "You can´t say it wasn´t effective. You heard about it, and you weren´t on the mission, were you?"

Seamus flushed at that. Ginny struggled to not feel bitter that Harry had lied to her. It wasn´t easy.

So what, you silly girl? It was for the sake of the Order, so get over it! A voice inside her head shouted. She shook herself mentally and turned her focus back on Seamus.

He spoke again, quickly, as if he was embarrassed. "So we get to the meeting place before they do, hide out, and catch the bastard."

"Basically, yes."

Seamus looked thoughtful. "I only have one issue with that plan, Harry. We´d eliminate the traitor, but wouldn´t your spy be forfeit after this?"

In the gigantic game of chess that was the war, sometimes there had to be sacrifices. Pieces had to be thrown away for the good of the bigger picture. She remembered Ron telling her that. Harry was never really that good at chess. She had always trounced him soundly, back at Hogwarts. He was too careful with his pawns´ lives, always tried to do everything with one piece.

After he came back from his self-imposed exile, they played again, just the once. He had been ruthless, playing with an almost frightening intensity. Like he wasn´t really trying to defeat her. Like she was only the mask for a greater enemy, one he had to beat.

She won, by a hair´s breath. He told her that she had Ron´s skill with chess, and went off to find Remus. Later, she sat over the board, going over the game. It wasn´t until three hours later that she´d realised - he could have won. If he hadn´t sent his knight to its death, he would have won. He must have known this.

The next day, he appeared to have forgotten all about the game played for a purpose and his forfeit knight. She didn´t forget.

She didn´t forget his smile when he had announced `check´, nor the almost bored amusement in his eyes when she´d whispered `checkmate´.

She shook her head out of her own nightmare like memories and listened to Harry´s laughter. Waited for him to stop and unravel his latest merciless scheme on the way to total victory.

"I know some people are hoping that it will happen like that. If the two cancel each other out then they could reap the benefits. That´s not how it´s going to happen. After we capture the traitor, my spy will go back to Voldemort and tell him the tragic story - that the informant had been a spy and set a trap to kill the loyal Death Eater, and how the loyal Death Eater barely got away. The informant, of course, has shown his true colours and has come back to the light side."

Harry bridged his hands in front of him, long fingers laced together. His smile was one of pure joy, pleasure in his ability to out-manoeuvre his enemy. She hadn´t seen him this cheerful in a long time, she realised. When was the last time? Was it when he had taken Malfoy Manor, or when he had captured Wormtail? It was not a pleasant thought.

"And then, the Death Eaters will hunt down and kill who they now believe to be the traitor." She heard herself say, in a half-awed, half-horrified whisper. It was simple, yet brilliant and so cruelly ironic. Ron couldn´t have done it better. Ron wouldn´t have - he was rather soft-hearted in the end, really. He wouldn´t have left the traitor to such a fate.

Ron always protected his pieces as well as he could.

Bill chuckled. "You thought up this last bit, didn´t you?"

"Is it that obvious?" Harry asked, his head tilted in blank curiosity.

"I can see Remus´s hand in the other parts, but this little twist sounds just like you."

No, Ginny thought. It wouldn´t have, three years ago. Three years ago, he would never have thought of such a thing. He´s changed so much. She remembered that Bill didn´t know Harry very well when he was still at Hogwarts.

When he was still Harry?

She was aghast at the thought, so much so that she could not pay much attention to the rest of the briefing. She missed Harry´s inquiring look to Seamus and Seamus´s nod.

It would be the last time they co-operated on anything in a while.

* * *

The next few hours she remembered as nothing more than blurs. Shock, confusion, pain, blood, everything piled up and overwhelming. Fate was unkind to her. She thought that she´d never be alive again.

The first section went off without a hitch. The spy had supplied very detailed instructions to the meeting place. It turned out to be an old warehouse, abandoned and broken down.

How cliché,she thought. The interior did nothing to change her mind. It was all rather bleak and depressing. They all hid as well as they could, most of them putting empty metal containers to good use. Harry disappeared under his Invisibility Cloak.

Smiling at the memories this brought back, she settled down to wait. Bill had set anti-apparition wards on the warehouse to be activated as soon as both parties appeared. Neither would be Apparating in, as it would draw attention. Apparition was detectable by both sides and therefore way too risky.

They didn´t have to wait long.

Ginny heard him before she saw him. He had been trying to walk quietly, but of course his boisterous nature wouldn´t allow it. He was never any good at sneak attacks.

Even in the thin slivers of moonlight that shone through the boarded up windows, the Weasley red hair was easily visible. All the Weasleys had refused to dye their hair to be less noticeable. It was a proud symbol of resistance against the Dark, and could not be snuffed out.

The shock sent a shiver through her body. She clutched at a nearby box to keep herself upright and peeked out as far as she dared.

He turned his head at the noise, and she saw him.

For a second, she couldn´t recognise him. Even her mother had trouble telling the twins apart at times, and they didn´t make it any easier. Everyone assumed that they liked confusing people.

She shook her head. The moonlight fell on his face, making her stifle a gasp.

George. There were subtle differences between the twins, if one looked hard enough. Most people didn´t, not really. He had once told her that. Harry was one of the only non-Weasleys who could tell them apart. Ginny remembered, like a flash, the delight evident on George´s face when Harry called him by name for the first time.

He had asked Harry: How did you tell us apart?

And Harry, sweet, charming, Harry, had smiled up at him.

`It´s no big deal. You´re very different.´

George had frowned. `Most people don´t see it.´

`Most people don´t look hard enough,´ had been Harry´s enigmatic reply.

Yanking herself back from the past, she mentally chastened herself. Now was no time to be lost in the past. Live in the present. George had taught her that.

She couldn´t understand a thing. Drowning in the blank static of her mind, her thoughts grasped onto one anchor and held to it like a drowning man.

Wait - he must be Harry´s spy! Of course, how silly of me. How silly of me to ever doubt. I must apologise to him. Yes, I should. She continued in this vein for some time before her rational side caught up with her.

If George was the spy, why hasn´t he made any sign that he knew they were there? Why did he act surprised when she made a sound? More than anything else, the look on his face scared her. It was one she had never seen before, a terrible sort of triumph. Sure, she had seen him triumphant when a prank went off successfully or when a new toy of theirs worked wonders in combat, but not like this.

Not like he had nothing to lose and the whole world at his feet. Not like a man devoted to his own justice and no one else´s. Not like someone with limitless aptitude and strength - and the ruthlessness to use it for power.

To hunt the dark, we must become it. Don´t fall too far, though. There is no salvation.

Harry´s voice echoed through her mind, the words which had confused her when he had spoken them suddenly crystal clear.

Oh, my brother. My poor, poor brother.

It was a terrible thing, terrible yet beautiful, to be swallowed by darkness. She knew the feeling, dreamed it every night, craved and hated it and embraced it in her darkest nightmares.

Another Weasley had fallen.

My poor brother.

She wanted to step out of hiding, confront him, shake him, make him alive and laughing and hers again. The urge was so strong that she almost did, until a hand on her arm made her freeze.

She looked around. Nothing. Harry, then. She hadn´t heard him move. She nodded her head to show that she understood. It was difficult - all her limbs were heavy as lead. He removed his hand. There was a pause, and then it came to rest on her shoulder. She was grateful for the reassurance.

George sat down on the floor, his face raised towards the ceiling, where the stars would be, beyond the rusty roof. He was still, an almost wistful look on his face.

They waited.

Finally, he spoke. "She sure is tardy. That´s half an hour I´ve wasted. Doesn´t that woman understand that I risk being exposed with every passing second? Harry´s sharp, he´ll notice something sooner or later." A dark smile came on to his face, transforming it. "I doubt he´ll be noticing much after this assignment, though. Pity, that. He knows more than the average person gives him credit for." There was a shadow of regret on his face, fleeting but apparent. It was gone quickly, fast replaced by irritation.

He sighed. "What am I doing, talking to myself. It´s not like Fred´s here with me." He sounded almost wistful. For just a second, sadness flashed in his eyes, followed quickly by anger.

"Don´t move." Ginny flinched as Bill´s voice rang out through the warehouse. He stepped out of his hiding place. Harry´s grip on her shoulder was almost painful now. She realised that her hands were clenched into tight fists, and the hard wood of her wand was digging into the flesh of her palm.

Relax, she told herself. Don´t act like such a little girl. But she was a just a little girl in that moment, watching a person she loved, worshiped even, fall from his altar. She was lost, and Harry´s hand on her should was the only thing keeping her in place. Despair overwhelmed her.

George froze. "Bill?"

Bill glanced around the warehouse. He didn´t meet her eyes.

"Harry, Seamus, come on. There´s no point in hiding any further. He´s confessed." His voice was hard. Ginny was afraid of looking at him. She didn´t want to see the ruthless look that would be on his face. The one that said `Victory for the Light at any cost.´

Even if your family is torn apart? Even if brothers become enemies?

Harry took his hand away from her shoulder. She moved to rise with him, but he patted her arm. She recognised the silent order.

Stay put.

They surrounded George with their wands pointed at his heart. Seamus looked shell-shocked. Harry had his usual smile on his face, but she could see that he was just as surprised as the rest of them. He just chose not to show it. She still couldn´t look at Bill.

It was all so terribly funny. All of this, all of it was the greatest, most frightening cosmic joke ever. Only Fred and George could come up with something like this. It was just like them to joke about such serious things. Yes, it had to be a joke. It just had to be.

Nothing else was acceptable.

Finally, Harry spoke. "Why, George?" The betrayal and hurt was evident in his voice. Ginny spared a moment to be thankful that Fred wasn´t here.

Oh fuck. Fred. Oh no, what are we going to tell him?

George laughed. "What do you mean, why? Just because I´m a Weasley and a Gryffindor, I´d never betray the Order? What kind of logic is that?"

Harry laughed. The sound echoed throughout the warehouse, sounding eerie and rather sinister. Even George looked surprised.

"Better question, George. What did they promise you?" Harry asked after he had calmed down. Ginny suppressed the urge to ask him what was so funny. She wasn´t sure that she wanted to know.

She had never wanted to see the dreamy smile on George´s face as he answered.

"They promised me the world, Harry. Power, position, you know the drill."

Harry shook his head. "I don´t believe you. Come on, I expect better than a textbook answer from you."

"You tell me why you fight for the Order first." George crossed his arms, waiting.

"Honestly? To kill Voldemort." The stark simplicity of the statement seemed to shock even George.

"That sounds like a reason, all right. If you´d said something like `for the good of the Wizarding World´-"

"You´d have laughed at me, I know." They shared a smirk.

George turned his full attention on Harry, completely ignoring Bill and Seamus. "Ever wanted to be just yourself, Harry?"

Harry snorted. "Every single fucking day."

"See, I knew you´d understand. You´ve got that scar and that title. And me?" He smiled self-depreciatingly. "I want to be myself. Not just part of something else. It´s always Fred-and-George. Never just one of us. No one ever thought that maybe we´d like to be individuals. Not even our family."

Harry tilted his head. "Bill-"

"Thank you, Harry." Bill seemed to be staring through George. "This has come down to a family matter. As dad isn´t here, I´ll resolve it on his behalf."

His eyes were dispassionate. Ginny knew then. There was nothing she could do.

Harry glanced around the warehouse, his eyes stopping on her hiding place for a second. He wanted her to get out of here. She couldn´t move.

"Bill, I´m only going to ask once. Are you sure about this?"

Bill nodded.

"Good luck."

Harry gestured to Seamus. They both turned to go, leaving Bill still covering George with his wand. Seamus gestured at her to run. She took one last look at her brothers, George sitting on the floor and Bill standing over him as if to impose some terrible judgement. The image fixed itself into her mind forever.

As she made her way out, she saw George standing up, still smiling at his oldest brother.

This is the way it will end.

"Come on, Ginny. I don´t think either of them wants you to see this." Seamus said.

In desperation, she turned to Harry. "Why - why didn´t you stop them?"

Harry gave her a soft, almost pitying look. "Would you have preferred it if I left George for the Death Eaters? This is a far kinder fate for him. My original plan was for a traitor, not for someone I consider a brother."

"No!" Tears were bit back angrily, nails dug into skin, and none of it mattered. Blood, tears, sacrifice. None of it mattered if she kept losing.

Family was all she had left. The only thing she trusted, the only thing - and nothing else could destroy it.

I can´t - I can´t do this.

* * *

The Fourth Day, 2008

The Golden Snitch (co-owned by Miss G. Weasley and Mr. S. Finnigan)

Harry leaned forward in his seat, smiling, dark lashes casting shadows on pale cheeks as his eyes closed.

Ginny remembered to start breathing again. The room was silent as she gathered her scattered wits and tried to find anger, rage, anything. The effort spent was wasted as his eyelids fluttered open and she was sent reeling from the flood of memories.

The perfect hero you are looking for, the one you are in love with - he doesn´t exist, Ginny.

She shook herself violently and tried to glare up at him. Failed miserably and settled for glaring at the table instead. How dare he come waltzing back into their lives after all these years? He seemed to still be living on the high of the victory of the war, caught perpetually in that strange state of amusement and bitterness. Harry seemed more like Him than ever, the inflections of his voice, the confident stance of his body, even the subversive aura.

"Did you miss me?" He chuckled, green eyes glittering. She didn't know what to say. The memories were still taking their toll.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to find him studying her, his eyes blank and reflective with a sort of cruel curiosity. For a moment, she was transported back to her moment of doubt upon opening the door. Was it really Harry? She found that she did not know. So she concentrated on her anger and swatted away the lingering scent of fear and doubt.

"Where have you been all these years?"

Unexpectedly, his smile faltered for an instant. "Don´t you read the newspapers at all, Ginny?"

Someone laughed. The sound was cold and brittle. She was surprised to discover it was coming from her. "I try not to."

"Now you understand."

She shook her head. "You said it yourself, I´ve never understood anything. What´s there to understand?" There was a bitter taste in her mouth.

"We all get tired of lies by the end. Hearing them, seeing them everyday, playing along with a smile on your face, it´s designed to drive you mad."

A few years ago, these words would have made no sense to her. Now they seemed like the perfect truth.

"Truly."

He ran a hand through his hair, his brow furrowed in thought. "Damn. I gave my copy of the Prophet to D - someone a few years ago. It´s probably even a collector´s item now. There weren´t many copies issued."

Harry laughed, an oddly joyful sound. It seemed much lighter than his laughter during the war, which was few and far between and never because he was happy.

"Here´s the ironic thing, though - they couldn´t not print it. They´d gone to the trouble of buying exclusive rights, after all. But the Ministry really didn´t want someone to kick up a fuss, so they needed a compromise. Some genius came up with the idea that they´d just print fewer copies. Then they´d be able to control the circulation, right? I think Rita was so mad about not getting her proper moment in the spotlight that she left the paper. Interesting how that - "

Ginny sighed. "Harry."

"Yes?"

"Stop rambling. You sound like Dumbledore, and not in a good way."

Chuckling, and then a raised eyebrow. "What good way?"

"Right, I remember. There is no good way." They shared a smile.

He shook his head. "Seamus has infected you with his sense of humour. I fear for our souls."

"Just stop avoiding the topic. What´s this I´m supposed to know?"

Harry took a deep breath. "That Harry Potter was convicted guilty without trial to a life sentence in Azkaban for `illegal use of magic´. That he was declared criminally insane two weeks after his incarceration. That he should not be standing here now, talking to you about Dumbledore´s supposed sanity."

Her mind blanked out. Inside, one part of her was running around screaming denial, while the other part tried to think rationally.

He must be lying. He had to be. If he were telling the truth, wouldn´t someone have told her by now? Surely no one would try and keep that from her.

Ah, but you didn´t want to hear anything about him back then, remember? You were too busy being afraid of hearing of his happiness; too busy being spiteful and angry, the nasty little voice inside her head that never seemed to shut up replied.

*********

September 2002

She ran. Her legs felt like they were on fire, and she longed to Apparate, but she kept running. Ginny´s eyes lit up as she caught sight of the safe house. Nearly there, she told herself.

Skidding to a stop, her head snapped up at the now familiar sound of soft laughter.

"What´s the hurry, Ginny?" The voice was faint and seemed to come from all around her. She fought down her annoyance and unease at this often-used trick of his, usually practised on those whose fate was about to promptly turn miserable and hoped hard that this wasn´t her day. Not now.

"Don´t do that. If His cronies detect magic, they´ll come storming and we can´t afford to lose another safe house." She cringed as the words came out of her mouth. She´d been spending way too much time around Hermione.

"And what," He stepped out of the shadows cast by the buildings, hands in pockets, "makes you think I´m using magic?" He was pale, paler than a ghost, the veils showing clearly on his bare arms. Despite this, he did not look fragile. Instead, he looked to be drunk on some sort of raw energy, like a wild animal exalting in its hunt for prey.

"Look at yourself, Harry! Look at what you´ve become!" She all but shouted the words, lost in a world of desperation and fear. Ginny had hoped...but now it looked like there was no salvation to be found for him.

He was blindingly fast when he wanted to be. She had forgotten. Within seconds, he was at her side, dragging her into the alleyway nearby with a vice-like grip on her arm. She struggled, yelled and became instantly contrite at the horrible shattered look of betrayal in his eyes. How could she have thought such a thing? This was Harry, for Merlin´s sake! He would never mean her harm. Would he?

She had an apology ready but her heart froze in her throat at his next words. "And what do you think that is, Ginny? Someone not fit to represent the Light? Someone whose leadership no one should follow? Someone to be locked up and looked after? Someone you can betray without batting an eyelid?"

She struggled to get words out. They became stuck in her throat, wedged like sharp pieces of fish bone.

"I...I...Harry, you have to believe me! I never...I never!" She gasped, between heaving sobs. When there was no reply, she looked up. His eyes were blank. It was as if sharp stones had shattered the wall of glass and a wall of steel had been erected right behind it.

She stopped speaking, feeling more rotten than ever. Just as she thought that there was no way she could feel any worse, he spoke again, his voice cold and brittle.

"Listen carefully. This is what you accomplished tonight. Gabrielle Delacour called me a madman, disobeyed me and got herself killed. The whole recon team walked off. The War Committee is meeting to vote on pulling their support from the Order. I´ve been replaced as Leader as a result of a coup. Are you happy now?"

She shook her head violently, tears spilling down the front of her shirt, trying to deny it all. She couldn´t have done all that. All she did was tell Dennis how worried she was about Harry´s behaviour. And then Seamus had set up a meeting with the Ministry for her to talk about her concerns, so she couldn´t refuse, could she? She didn´t really tell them anything...

He seemed to see the path her thoughts were taking, because he started speaking again, more gently than before. "This is something you have to learn to face in war. Everything you do may have consequences. You have to live with them. I thought you understood that, Ginny."

She looked up again, her eyes hopeful, waiting for a reprimand, then forgiveness. This was how it usually went, after all. He seemed to be waiting for her to speak the right words, the words that would make this better. She struggled to find them.

Ginny took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "I´m sorry, Harry, but we were all so worried about you, and you were acting so strangely..." Her words cut off as he rammed a fist into the wall behind her, staring down at her as if he was looking at an alien creature he didn´t recognise.

"You don´t understand..." He whispered to the night air, shaking his head lightly. "You can´t understand..." He sighed deeply, and then looked straight at her again. "You don´t know anything, do you?"

Emboldened and angered by his statement, she spoke up again. "What don´t I understand? I don´t know anything because nobody bloody well tells me anything!" Ginny winced as soon as the words left her mouth. How childish could she sound? It was too late to take anything back, though.

He chuckled darkly, sounding amused. "Why do you think no one tells you anything? All right, I´ll tell you something. We´re close to winning the war. The Death Eater factions are getting smaller everyday and I think I´ve located Voldemort. I proposed an attack on his headquarters to the Order yesterday. You have horrible timing, Ginny." Another smothered chuckle. "Or should I say, great timing. Seamus would thank you. If it weren´t for you, he would have never succeeded. He´s never liked the way I do things."

Ginny hated it when he talked like that, as if he understood the meaning of the universe and she couldn´t possibly comprehend it. She was confused and angry. "Of course he doesn´t! You kill and do horrible things to people! We shouldn´t be like that!" Her cheeks were flushed as she continued, feeling alive for the first time in weeks. "And you...you should never have been like that either!"

There was silence for a time. In the quiet of the night, birds of prey screamed their intent to the sky. Then Harry pinned her with his cold and unrelenting gaze. It was similar to the one he used on prisoners who were about to be executed. The evening was warm, but Ginny shivered.

Then he spoke, so quietly that to any passing stranger, he would have seemed like a lover whispering endearments into his sweetheart´s ear. His words were anything but.

"If you think, even for an instant, that you can win this war without killing or hurting anyone who doesn´t deserve it, and come out with your hands clean, you have never truly fought or been in command of a battle. You are deluded if you think that Voldemort will observe honour in warfare just because you do. Seamus will find himself buried in red tape if he tries to play by the rules. I´d like to see your lot try it."

He took a deep breath, and Ginny had a flash of insight. Cut him off now and say the right words, or things will never be right between them again. But she couldn´t speak. She could only listen as he judged and condemned.

"For my whole life, people have tried to change me, break me, make me their puppet. They have given me a mould to step into, and I have had no other choice. I should be good, merciful and brave, just because they think so. Well, I´m not. I´m resentful and ruthless and a coward. This is my revenge and my war and I´ll be damned if I let anyone else interfere with it. I´m not doing this for the world, Gin. Why should I? It hates me. So remember that. I choose to try and save the world now. I don´t have an obligation to it. Remember that when I choose differently."

* * *

Present Day

He didn´t even have a chance to choose. The Ministry chose for him - and they chose a life sentence in Azkaban.

Life sentence. Merlin, Harry.

"I´m glad you got yourself out of there, Harry." She was pleasantly surprised by the warmth in her own voice. It was nice to see that she was still capable of it.

"So am I, Ginny. So am I." He ran a hand through his dark hair, still messy as ever. "As you´ve probably already guessed, I´m not supposed to be here. I don´t want to get you in trouble, so I won´t be long."

She recognised the shift to a more brisk, business-like tone. "What do you need from me? I´ll do what I can."

He looked hesitant and almost unsure, just for a second. "More importantly, how are..." Small, cautious pause, and he went on. "Mum and dad?"

He had been calling the elder Weasleys by that since before the war, but the events of New Year´s Day had done nothing to improve his relationships with the rest of the Weasley siblings. Harry knew that too well.

"Dad´s still getting treated in St. Mungo´s. The healers say that he won´t recover if he doesn´t want to. He keeps calling Bill and George´s name, but he won´t wake." She was pleased that she managed to say it all without stumbling. The detached monotone helped a little, even if each word took so much out of her. She continued on in the same way, noting Harry´s small flinch. "Mum hasn´t changed much. She´s still fussy, but she can´t do most of the house chores anymore."

She paused to sigh, but seeing the concern on Harry´s face, she went on hastily. "Fred´s looking after her and Percy. He´s turned a bit funny, too. Paranoid as fuck. Last time I went to visit he nearly hexed my head off."

Harry nodded. She thought that she saw a flash of the same unpleasant memories that haunted her in his face before he buried them. "How´s Percy?"

"Better, but he´s not going to get his eyesight back. It´s too bad that bastard Zabini got to him in the Malfoy Manor battle. He could still be working for the Ministry if he wasn´t...well, you know."

"Yes, I know." He spoke to the table.

Bravo, Ginny. Make him feel worse. She tried to change the topic. "I think he´s better off out of that snake pit, actually."

He laughed, still not raising his head. "Calling that place a snake pit is an insult to all snakes."

She reached out cautiously, placing her hand on his elbow. "You know it´s not your fault that it turned out that way. You couldn´t have done anything."

He raised his head. For a moment, she was afraid that he would be in tears. She needn´t have worried. His eyes were clear and he was smiling, even if it was tinged with sadness.

"I know, Ginny. I know. It doesn´t matter what really happened. As long as they blame me, it will be my fault." He shook his head. "But I really shouldn´t be imposing on your time."

She opened her mouth to protest that it was no trouble at all, but his sudden graveness stopped her.

"The box I gave you before the Hunters were disbanded - do you still have it?"

I need you to keep this safe for me, Ginny.

What is it?

The three things that connected Him and me. I may need it again in the future. Can you keep it for me?

* * *

Around the same time

Outside Malfoy Manor

Although the Ministry had sold almost all of the Malfoy Estate, they had never been able to sell off the Manor itself. Maybe it was because the Manor was a complete wreck, torn apart by the battle that had taken place there. Maybe it was the forbidding atmosphere and dozens of wards and hexes that were still intact. Either way, the Manor was empty. It had been the Malfoy residence for hundreds of years and would admit no other.

A fat lot of good that Malfoy blood did us during the war. Draco thought darkly, picking his way through the overgrown grass.

Luckily, the wards still recognised him and let him though without protest. They were going by one of the back ways. Even though the manor was supposedly unoccupied, it would do them no good to attract any notice.

He turned, scowling, to face Lupin, who was staring with plain fascination at a small plant with red flowers.

"Don´t touch that," Draco cautioned, "I think that´s one of the magic-draining plants."

Remus laughed, even while carefully sidestepping it. "One of your ancestors must have been amazingly paranoid."

Draco snorted. "You have no idea." Suddenly, Remus´s smile froze.

"Draco, turn around." One of the most important survival rules in combat - don´t ask questions. It had been drilled into his mind, one reason he now turned as fast as he could.

And came face to face with an ugly giant spider.

He bit his tongue to keep himself from screaming and ran like hell.

* * *

Ten Minutes Later

The Hanged Sphinx

Draco took a sip of his third drink. Apparating always took it out of him. Being torn apart and put back together again was never going to be a pleasant sensation. "What was the point of that? Besides angry Acromantulas attempting to murder us, that is."

"I don´t know, I think it was quite amusing, actually." Remus said over his Butterbeer.

Draco glared. "If you say that again, I swear I will feed you to one of them."

Remus laughed. Draco joined in, reluctantly. He did not like nasty surprises.

"Seriously, though, I do think we gained something from that rather dangerous exercise." Remus said. He had that look on his face that Draco took to mean that he was doing a lot of thinking.

"What´s that?"

"You didn´t know about this trap, correct?"

Draco nodded. He could see where this was going. "You mean..."

"The Manor is no longer uninhabited. Someone´s cleaned it up and moved in. Don´t you think that´s a little suspicious?"

* * *

To Be Continued

Author´s Notes: This chapter was written to Linkin Park´s Meteora, Evanescence´s Fallen, a lot of Alanis Morissette, and t.A.T.u´s 200 km/h In the Wrong Lane. ^_^ I had to get it finished before April the 6^th, as I leave for China on that day. I´ll be gone for a month, but don´t worry - I will be writing during that time and will hopefully return from China with Chapter 6.

Apologises to those of you who want more present day case-related stuff. I promise there will be much more of that next chapter, as the focus returns to the present and to Draco and Remus. However, it will be shorter, because this one was so long and because I have not as many scenes planned.

Next Chapter: The Eternal Game. Dreams, reality, bad weather. Things don´t get much better for Draco.

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