All's Fair

Chapter Three- Sniggle Sniggle Sniggle

"Potter," growled Draco, "I am very angry with you."

"I'm quivering in fear, Malferret," grinned Harry.

"Listen- after singing to you about being pretty, I then informed the entire common room to whistle while they work! If that wasn't bad enough, I then gave the Great Hall a rendition of a song that just goes 'why can't we be friends?' over and over! I don't even know where they're from!"

"And?"

"And!"

"I fail to see the problem, Malfoy. You were injecting a little brightness into everyone's lives."

Draco sighed. "Yes, that's what Dumbledore said when I gave him my note begging him to take the spell off."

"Heh, heh, evil sniggle."

There was a pause.

"Potter, what the hell is a sniggle?"

"It's not a giggle, because I'm far too many to giggle, and not a snigger. And don't say 'hell'."

"How the... how did you make that up?"

"I just did."

Malfoy frowned.

"And how do you use a word like that?"

"Like I just did. You can also just say 'sniggle sniggle sniggle'."

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation."

"Believe what you like. Besides, you started it."

There was a pause.

"I did?" Malfoy asked.

"Yes, you slammed me against the wall outside the Great Hall -and you still haven't released me, in case you haven't noticed- and started telling me about your sniggleworthy antics."

"Sniggleworthy- no, don't worry, I don't need an explanation. Just go," said Draco, feeling a little foolish and rather out of his depth. He could hold his own in a battle of wits- but understanding Potter's new found insanity was something quite different.

"Potter," he asked a moment later, "why are you still here?"

"You still have me back up against the wall."

Draco looked down at the black haired boy, who did not appear to have any problem with his current back-against-the-wall situation at all. In fact, he seemed completely comfortable and at ease.

"Still against the wall here, Malfoy."

"Oh, yes, er." Draco backed off. "Off you go."

As Harry began to walk away, Draco was sure that there was something that he was meant to be doing.

He remembered.

"Quercus crures!"

Harry immediately stopped. Well, his legs stopped at least. The rest of his body tried to keep moving, but was stopped by feet that were rooted to the floor- quite literally.

"Malfoy, what was that?"

"It appears that your feet are having an identity crisis. They think they're trees. Oh well, I'm sure you can fix it."

Draco turned to walk away. He stopped, and turned again.

"Potter."

"What, Malfoy? I'm rather- busy, you could say."

"Sniggle sniggle sniggle."

Draco turned and made his way back to the Slytherin common room.

"'Arry, why are yer so late fer class?"

"Draco was helping me get in touch with nature."

"Draco?"

"Uh, Malfoy."

"Nature?"

"He found a spell that made my feet take root."

"Er, right. Well 'e's the only one didn't get a partner, so you'll 'ave to work with 'im today."

"Great."

"Sorry."

Harry reluctantly moved to stand next to Draco, who was grinning at him in a rather disturbing way.

Possibly the strangest thing was that Malfoys don't grin.

"Why are you looking so happy, Malfoy?"

"You tell me."

Harry thought for a moment.

"You're really happy to see me."

"What?"

"Fine, you're not. I just love the way you look when you're confused."

"Excuse me?"

"What?" asked Harry absently.

"You 'love the way I look'?"

"You twisted that," said Harry accusingly.

"I'm a Malfoy. Anyway, explain."

Draco decided that Harry was looking distinctly panicked.

I love the way he looks when he's panicking.

No! Nonononono! Bad Draco. Stop thinking now!

Draco felt his mind go pleasantly blank.

Harry watched with interest as Draco's face twisted, then went completely still and blank. Interesting.

He debated asking what exactly was going on inside the other boy's brain, but then decided that he should probably start listening to what Hagrid was telling the class about looking after a Hippocampus.

It figured that one of them should know what to do with a herd of aquatic horses, for some reason.

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, flicking the leftover crumbs from his roll at Ron.

Ron either had not noticed, or was ignoring him.

That was not the idea of the exercise.

Harry picked up his glass of pumpkin juice, and slowly, deliberately, poured it over the freckled boy's head.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I think its quite obvious," said Harry, finishing pouring the juice and debating whether to add anything else to it. He was just reaching for some baby field potatoes when Ron caught his hand.

"What is wrong with you, Harry?"

"I don't know for sure, but I think my ennui at the denouement of my mortal enemy induced has been transmuted into vacillating energy that I am discharging by means of embroilment."

"Hermione," whined Ron immediately, "he's using long words and I don't like them."

"Harry," Hermione immediately scolded, "you know what happens to Ron if you use words with more than two syllables."

"I know, I do."

"Why did you do it?"

"I was explaining my condition. And I felt like it."

"I didn't know you knew some of those words."

"People are full of surprises."

"Hermione," interrupted Ron, "what was Harry saying."

"He's bored, so has decided to piss about."

"That was it?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

Hermione and Ron then proceeded to go back to their meals, completely ignoring Harry.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

They looked up at him questioningly.

"I was just- oh, never mind."

Harry filled up his plate, picked it up, and stood. He walked purposefully towards the Slytherin table.

When he had reached Draco's seat, he poured the contents of the plate over his head.

"Potter! What do you think you're doing?"

"You know, Ron just said that."

Draco spluttered a bit. "Potter!"

"What? I chose cold food, so its not like it hurt or anything."

"You poured food all over me! I just washed my hair!"

"Oops," said Harry cheerfully.

"Why food? What was wrong with a hex?"

"I just realised that I hadn't had a decent food fight in years."

Draco sat and thought for a moment.

"Okay."

He then proceeded to dump the contents of his own plate down the front of Harry's robes.

Harry grinned, and reached for the mashed potato.

"Potter! Malfoy! What do you think you're doing?"

"Third time in five minutes," muttered Harry, drawing a grin from Draco.

"Detention for both of you! And five points apiece from your houses. Now go and change."

Harry and Draco strolled out of the hall.

"Why only five points?"

"No idea. Don't complain."

"Fair enough." Draco paused. "Are we talking to each other?"

"I guess."

"But we still hate each other, right? We're just talking. And engaging in a strictly unfriendly war. Nothing companionable."

"If you say so."

Draco grabbed Harry's arm and stopped him walking.

"What do you say about it?"

"I don't really care."

"If you don't care, why are you doing this whole thing?"

Harry thought for a minute. Why was he doing it?

Because I'm bored, he decided finally. And because Draco looks so cute even if he has peas in his hair ARGH! No!

Openly, Harry shrugged. "Why are you?"

Draco frowned. A moment later, Harry noticed that he had schooled his face into the same blank expression that he had been wearing in Care of Magical Creatures.

I wonder what he's stopping himself thinking about?

"Potter, we need to go shower together, no, not together, what a funny thing for me to say, I have no idea where it came from, I have to go shower, cold shower, very cold, bye!"

Harry was a little surprised as Draco suddenly broke his silence, delivered the speech at extremely high speed, then ran off.

Did he just say something about showering together?

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear it, Harry turned and hurried towards the Gryffindor common room.