Gotta Go Right Now

Got to Go Right Now

by Matt Coggins

"So then he said, 'Get your own!'"

"Ha, ha! You funny Mal... Malf... duh, Pointy Guy!"

The Slytherin table was full of laughter from a joke Draco Malfoy told. Pansy Parkinson was shrieking, Crabbe and Goyle were grunting, and the rest were just chuckling.

Malfoy took a big gulp of Pumpkin juice when all of a sudden his bladder was full to burst. He got up and tried to push through the rest of the Slytherins, but Pansy stopped him.

"Draco, where are you going?" she asked.

"I have to-..."

"Stay here," said Pansy, tugging on his robes. She pulled so hard it ripped and Malfoy fell. He tried to get up but someone stepped on his stomach and made him have to go even more.

"Sorry," said the person. When Malfoy got up, he noticed who the guy really was.

"Potter?"

"Oh so it's you," said Harry.

"Pointy Guy no like people stepping on tummy," Crabbe said.

"He gonna wanted fight with sticks," Goyle added.

"You mean a duel?" asked Ron, who was close by.

"Go ahead, Malfoy," said Harry. "Hit me with a spell!"

"Listen, guys, I just want to go to the-..."

But Goyle was too fast. He cast the Banishing Spell at Harry, but he cast the Shield Charm to block it.

"C'mon, Mr. Pointy," said Crabbe. "Make a spell!"

Malfoy was now holding his crouch, resisting the urge to, well, you know. He removed his hands and said, "Ferula!", conjuring a wooden rod.

The rod shot out of the wand, but everybody was too busy looking at Malfoy, whose robes were wet.

"LOOK!" Ron yelled at the top of his lungs. "MALFOY WET HIS PANTS!"

The Great Hall burst with laughter, except Malfoy, for he still had to whiz.

Malfoy ran down the hall, passing many people on the way.

"Hey Malfoy, how are you to-... What's that smell?"

"Draco, are you free Friday, cause I thought we could-... ew! You wet yourself!"

Argus Filch caught up to him after he ran from the Great Hall. "Malfoy, I hope you plan on cleaning up that mess back there, because I'm sure not going to-... Hey! Come back here Malfoy! I'm not done with you yet! MALFOY!

Malfoy kept running, he was at the same hall as the bathroom. He jumped for the doorknob (if anyone makes this into a movie, get the guy who does the special effects for the Matrix, because those effects would make this jump pretty cool).

I'm almost there, he thought. The lavatory's almost there!

WHAM. The door of toilet room hit Malfoy smack in the face, and Hermione Granger walked out.

"What are you doing here, you filthy little cockroach?" she spat at him, but Malfoy didn't listen. He just ran right into the potty, and soon you could hear many girls screaming:

"Hey, pervo!"

"You've lost your mind, Malfoy!"

"I thought you were a guy!"

"He is, you git, just one that loves to steal a look into the girl's bathroom!"

The End

6/25/04