Time Is The Worst Punishment

June, 12 2003

What is that you say? You hate me. Well excuse me for living, quite literately. It is not my fault you died and I lived. You should have never have tried to be the hero. That was your boyfriends job, not yours. If you had stayed where I told you to, you would have been all right. But no, you wanted to help and save the world. May I ask you a question? How could you save the world when you couldn't even save yourself? Oh now don't be mad. You weren't the only one to die that night. Little Miss. Perfect should be with you now. She was also dumb and full of herself. But she is not the one I told to stay out of sight, you were. I clearly remember telling you to stay down and I would be back in couple of minutes. You shook your head "OK" and I walked off to find help.

What do you mean I took to long? It was kind of distracting when wizards are getting blown up all around you. Do you have any idea what went trough my mind when I came back and seen you there dead? I tough it was a bad dream or you were just sleeping.

Yes I was sad to see you dead. I might be cold hearted but not heartless. Yeah OK keep yelling at me. It's my entire fault. It's my fault I left you for so long. It's my fault you died a horrible death and it's my fault I loved you!

Actually I'm mad at you. I hate you for leaving me here to stay in this world without you. I hate you for being so mean that you didn't even feel the need to say good-bye. You are the one that was being mean and I hate you. I hate you for loving you. I hate you for wanting to hold you every night after I wake up from my nightmares and once I turn over and see my bed empty I start to break down. You did this. It was your entire fault. Why didn't you just stay there where I put you? Huh? Is it because you didn't want to be with me? Is it because you couldn't stand to look at me any more? I need to know. Why did you leave me?

I'm being too harsh? You have no right to say I'm being to harsh when you're the one that has done all the wrong. I am not yelling at you because I know it was my fault. I can not stress to you that it was all your doing.

I'm lying? You have to be kidding? You are in heaven with everyone, while I remain in Hell. I stumble on this earth until my skin start to fall off my bones and I die of my own body killing it's self. You watch from above never growing old. Never feeling disease or sickness.

Oh god I want to hold you! Please beg god to take me soon. What have I really done to deserve this? I saved many people I didn't even know and lost all the ones I did. Why did I live? Please if you can give me no other convert at least tell me that. I need to know. Stop telling me not to cry. I have been reduced down to this. I am no longer a Malfoy. I may cry if I want to.

I am sorry. I think I just got out of hand there. I know you didn't really want to die and I'm sure I will be joining you soon my dear. Tell Harry that the people down here are truly thankful of what he did. I'm waiting to see your heavenly face.

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"Did you say this was Draco Malfoy's diary?" asked a young witch that seat in an old dusty attic of an old house.

"Yes dear. This diary has been in this house since the day Draco died," said on old witch.

"Will you tell me a little bit about him? Who was he writing to?" asked to small witch.

"Well he was writing to the love he lost the day The Dark Lord fell. Of course the Dark Lord was way before your time but you still know of him. I was there on that day and I remember it like it was yesterday. Draco found her lying with her neck broken. Some wizard figured she was weak enough to kill without the use of magic so he decided to have a little fun and watch her struggle. It was very sad to watch. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Albus Dumbledore, and many others died that night. I'm sure you've read about them in your history books but it was more emotional then words could ever describe.

Poor Draco would wake up every morning disappointed that he was still on this earth. Then 75 years after the night Draco lost his love he finally died of old age at the age of 93. I will miss him but I'm glad he is finally with his Ginny."

"Grandma Parkinson, did you ever love him?" asked the small witch.

"Oh dear, that's another story," said the old witch with sadness in her eyes. She looked back down at the old diary and closed it.

"May you finally be happy, Draco," she said softly.