The Aftermath

He had known Sirius for over half his life and in all that time he had never wept. He had never shed a single tear, not even as he watched them drag him off to Azkaban. Not once had he let his emotions become known. He had to be strong; he was the last Marauder. Remus returned to 12 Grimmauld Place that fateful night. He had just watched one of his best friends fall through that dreaded veil. He had just watched as a man was killed by his own cousin. He held back Harry, not allowing him to meet the same fate. He had heard every word that Harry had yelled and his feelings were identical. He wished with all his being that Sirius would be able to walk through that veil and simply say "Haha, Gotcha Moony!" He wished that it had been her who fell through. He couldn't even say her name aloud without thinking of him. He remembered the great times all those years ago. He remembered the first night they had become animagi just for him. He remembered all of their full moon adventures, and all the nights they spent coming up with plans for the next month. He remembered that night just two years ago, when there was no longer any doubt in his mind that his old friend was back, and that he would be cleared. Every memory of Sirius he had ever made flashed before him in that one moment, and he was terrified. He knew he would never see Sirius again, he would never laugwith him, speak with him, or even sit in the same room with him ever again; and that thought was too much to bear.

He went back to 12 Grimmauld Place that night, and for the first time twenty-four years, he cried.

Years after the incident, he still looked back on that moment and still felt guilt. It was his fault Sirius was dead. If only he'd been honest from the beginning it never would have happened. He had never cried about it; he didn't have as close a relationship with him as others did. He fought Tom, merely minutes after watching it happen, forcing himself to concentrate. He returned to his office only to be yelled at and have his belongings smashed. However he did not mind. He knew the boy would react this way, he had never been one to show his pain. Even as an infant, he did not cry at the loss of his mother, instead he slept peacefully not knowing his life would be full of pain and grief. Dumbledore never understood why Sirius' death hadn't affected him more. They were never particularly close, but as friends and fellow members of the Order, they had an unspoken bond. He had never let Sirius know that he saw himself reflected in the young man. And yet, he never wept. He often wondered why this was and eventually came to the conclusion that, while Sirius was an exceptional man, he knew the day would come. It was the price to be paid by being in the Order. He knew that he himself would likely meet the same fate. Whenever he remembered Sirius it was only for a moment. He quickly stored most memories of him away in his pensieve. There was sure to be more death, and he had to be able to deal with that.

Ron hadn't actually seen Sirius die. He was one of the lucky few. The events were told to him by Dumbledore and Neville, but never Harry. For weeks he watched as his best friend sank deeper and deeper into depression, never talking to anyone about anything, even Quidditch. Ron was never as close to Sirius as Harry was, but then again, neither was Hermione or anyone else for that matter. Sirius had become Harry's father figure. He had spent a month with the man before Harry arrived and yet there was no significant relationship. Harry's relationship with Sirius was a very personal one, and yet when Ron heard of the news, tears reached his eyes. Earlier that year Hermione had accused him of having the emotional range of a teaspoon. She was wrong though, if he had that little emotion then he never would have secretly cried at night. He was never sure why he cried. It certainly wasn't because he was close with Sirius or even just the fact that the man died. He eventually realized that he had cried those nights out of sympathy. If one or two tears had come to his eyes after being told of what happened, what was Harry feeling? Harry had definitely had the closest relationship with Sirius, and he saw it happen with his own eyes. He couldn't even begin to imagine what Harry was going through and it pained him to think of his best friend in such grief. Ron moved on after a few weeks and his life went back to normal, well as normal as possible. He was still reminded daily of Sirius' life and death. He could see the pain in Harry's eyes every day and it killed him. He couldn't stand to see his best friend like this, which is why he distanced himself from Harry.

Hermione, like Ron was never very close with Sirius, but his death still affected her life in more ways than one. None of Hermione's relatives or friends had ever died before, she had never experienced death in her life; but in one night she learned that the death of a friend was worse than any pain she'd ever felt before. When Sirius died, part of Harry died too. An interesting fact, fifteen years earlier people had said the same thing of James and Sirius; that when James died, part of Sirius died also. Hermione dealt with Sirius' death very similar to Ron, and yet very different. While Ron only developed a few tears, Hermione burst out sobbing when she found out. She also ached for Harry. She remembered all the times she had called Sirius reckless and irresponsible and winced. He had saved her life and that was how she repaid him. She cried herself to sleep for a few weeks thinking of Harry. Harry had lost his only mentor, the one person he could always count on. When Harry joined them at headquarters a month later she couldn't help but notice the strain on Harry and Ron's friendship. They were boys, they weren't willing to show their feelings and so they weren't willing to look at each other. Hermione knew Harry would need someone to talk to, or at least someone to sit and not talk to. She knew that she had to be that person. Ron was too proud, Lupin was busy and Dumbledore, well she was quite sure that Harry was still a bit bitter with him. So when Harry stayed locked in Sirius' old bedroom for days, it was she who brought him food and sat with him. She was one of the only two people to ever see him cry. The other of course, being Remus Lupin. Not even Dumbledore had seen Harry cry. No one around him knew Sirius better than Remus, and few around him were willing to sit with him while he grieved. But Hermione was different. Even if Harry never wanted to talk, Hermione would sit there with him. He would try to keep his emotions hidden, to remain strong, but he knew Hermione wouldn't judge him. And after weeks of simply sitting and staring, one night, he cried with Hermione. And she cried with him. As far as Harry was concerned he had two best friends. If you were to combine Hermione and Ron you would have the perfect friend, Hermione was able to be there for Harry in a way that Ron wasn't and for that Harry was grateful. Hermione's life was affected in more ways than one. In one aspect, she learned what exactly death was, and how to deal with that. In another, she lost a person who was trustworthy, and although she'd never been close with him, if she had ever needed anything, he would have been there, because that was his way. And in a third aspect, Sirius' death changed her relationship with her best friends. She saw Harry's pain and was able to help him through that. And though indirectly, it brought the three friends even closer together, eventually prompting her and Ron's romance.